Deadpool has figured out that he himself has killed Haji Bin Barat, the world’s most wanted terrorist and inhabitant of Providence. He tries to run and hide, while he figures out what to do next.
Inside a control room, Irene, Mr. Kriek and Prester John are searching for Deadpool. Irene doubt Kriek’s ability to find him, but Kriek mentions that he has 20 years of experience as a police investigator and the most advanced equipment on the planet. He also mentions that they are on a small island; Deadpool has nowhere to run. However, Irene thinks that Deadpool would swim to Australia if he had to.
When Deadpool is found, Prester John leaves to stop Deadpool. Irene warns him, but John replies that he too is very dangerous. When he leaves, Irene sighs and sarcastically mentions what a paradise they have. Kriek responds that it was his wife’s idea to come here. Irene thinks that is grounds for divorce and leaves to give Cable an update.
Cable asks Irene if she is sure Deadpool is the killer. She is. He replies that he can’t fight Deadpool, not because of their weird relationship, but because he is about to leave. He is about to recruit some people to fight another threat, referring to a nearby hologram that shows the alien Skornn. Irene tells him that he can’t leave a murderer running around on Providence, to which Cable responds that excluding Wade, the deceased Barat and himself, eleven other people on Providence would classify as murderers and that he wants to change their views on crime and punishment. Irene suggests that Cable uses the genetic link he has with Deadpool to trap him with a bodyslide. Cable, however, thinks that he himself wouldn’t survive that in his current condition. He also tells her that he want to give Deadpool a chance to make the right choice.
Deadpool, at the same moment, comes to the conclusion that running away was the right choice and considers hiding on a boat, plane and even swimming to Australia as a solution. He tries his best not to worry about Barat’s murder and why he can’t even remember killing him. He thinks to himself that his healing factor makes his brain looks like Drew Barrymore’s in 50 first dates. He lists the reasons for staying in Providence: good weather, stimulating conversations about complexities and contradictions in Michael Moore’s work, saggy brainy chicks that have the Indigo Girls vibe going on and, most importantly, people who don’t treat him like a stain.
He then tries his best to remember what happened in Barat’s bedroom last night, but is only able to conjure up two scenarios: one where Barat is holding Irene hostage and threatens to kill her; Irene tells Deadpool that if he saves her, she will be his forever and the other with Barat is bedding his beloved Bea Arthur. He concludes that both scenarios are extremely unlikely, pointing to another, more gruesome option.
An energy blast interrupts Wade’s thoughts and he turns around to see Prester John in full armor. John tells him that the Providence Peacewatch Security Patrol has authorized him to arrest Deadpool. He warns Deadpool that he has used the powers of his stellar rod before in combat with the Fantastic Four. Deadpool can’t stop himself from laughing at the words “stellar rod.” Prester John looks at Wade laughing on the floor for a few moments then shoots him with the rod. Deadpool stands up and in classic Bugs Bunny-style responds “Of course you know this means war.”
John agrees and Deadpool jumps at him, shouting “I take sliced Saxons for 800, Alex,” but bounces off John’s forcefield and crashed through the roof of what seems to be a restaurant. Wade apologizes to the Native American girl and tries to seduce her by mentioning that he has lost money in 5 Indian casinos last month and that he has Dances With Wolves on laserdisc. His attempts to win her heart are interrupted by John. Wade tells John three points: 1) As long as he is wearing the mask, the name is Deadpool. It is the whole Clark Kent-mystique. 2) They should fight outside, because one of the scientists in there may one day find a cure for Tucker Carlson and 3) Never interrupt him when he is trying to get with an Indian girl that is hotter than the one Kirk banged on Star Trek.
In the monitor room, Irene apologizes to Kriek, thinking that the escalation is her fault for sending in John. Johann suggests that they call in Cable and Irene thinks that Cable already knows. She is right because Cable is watching the fight on a monitor as well.
John has Deadpool pinned against the floor and accuses him of endangering the safety of everybody on Providence. Deadpool points out that he is not the one waving his stellar rod around (and he could if he wanted to, because his rod is spectacularly stellar.) John is about to stop Deadpool’s “murderous rampage” when Deadpool replies that he doesn’t consider “one guy” a rampage and that he doesn’t think John can crush him and keep up a forcefield at the same time. Deadpool’s proves his point by shooting John in the chest four times, but John’s chainmail or superhuman durability stops them.
John knocks out Deadpool and admits that the fight is not bringing him any pride, because he feels like he is beating up the village idiot. He is about to finish off Deadpool, when an energy blast hits him from behind. Cable is standing there holding a gun and telling them that he wants no violence on the island and he has the guns to make it stick. John feels betrayed by Cable, who hit him from behind, and is about to hit him. Cable just stands there and tells him that he was wrong in thinking Cable was a man of honor and that he will throw John off the island if he doesn’t stand down. John gives in after a moment of hesitation. Cable thanks John and asks him to look after the wounded with Kriek and Irene, while he talks to Deadpool.
Kriek and Irene turn off the monitor and go get medics and a clean-up crew. Cable asks Deadpool what happened. Deadpool replies that he doesn’t know, he isn’t even sure that he killed Barat. Cable remains silent. Deadpool admits that Cable has a point. Cable asks if he saw, heard about or worked with Barat. Deadpool says that he doesn’t know to each question. Cable tells him that the brain damage defense will only take him so far. Deadpool responds that it has worked pretty well so far. He tells Cable that he must have had a reason.
Cable brings up Moira MacTaggert, the famous geneticist. Shortly before her death, Cable had her take a look at Deadpool’s Weapon X files. Her conclusion was that Deadpool’s brain would never be normal as long as he has the healing factor. Deadpool replies that removing the healing factor will return his cancer. He tells Cable that he wasn’t that smart to begin with. Cable doesn’t doubt it, but he doesn’t think it was quite so bad as he is now. Deadpool confesses that sometimes, just sometimes he knows, referring to how bad his mental condition is.
Cable offers assistance: he will ask the scientists on Providence to look at his Weapon X files for a solution, but Deadpool has to go. Cable tells him that he is recruiting X-Force again for a mission. Deadpool wants to know if he can join. Cable replies that he will bodyslide by two if he needs him. He asks Deadpool again why he killed Barat. When Deadpool still says he doesn’t know, Cable tells him to leave. Deadpool asks if Cable will come after him if he does this again, to which Cable says that he will kill him. Deadpool just stares at him. When Cable is gone, he thinks to himself that one should never ask a question one doesn’t want answered.
Back with Irene, she tells Cable that they need to know why Deadpool killed Barat. Cable thinks that they shouldn’t even bother asking why. Elsewhere, Deadpool finally remembers why he killed Barat: because he just felt like it. Deadpool leaves Providence by boat.
Four days later, Deadpool finds one of Black Box’s Think Links – people all over the world that function as his ears and eyes. The Think Link tells Deadpool that he can’t talk to him, because Black Box is watching right now. Deadpool tells the Think Link that Black Box, if the rumors are true, can give him the one thing he wants. The Think Link asks what that is. Deadpool answers that he needs a way to kill himself. From his base, Black Box follows the conversation and orders the Think Link to tell Deadpool that, if the price is right, he would be happy to accommodate him.
