Patsy Walker A.K.A. Hellcat #9

Issue Date: 
October 2016
Story Title: 
Untitled
Staff: 

Kate Leth (writer), Brittney L Williams (artist),Megan Wilson (colorist), Virtual Caligraphy's Clayton Cowles (letterer), Brittney L Williams (cover artist), Charles Beacham (assistant editor), Wil Moss (editor), Tom Breevort (executive editor), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (executive producer)

Brief Description: 

Hedy Wolfe, frenemy of Patsy Walker, is having drinks with Patsy's second husband, the Son of Satan, and informs him that Patsy is plotting to kill him. Hedy later tracks down Patsy's first husband, Mad-Dog, in a deserted alleyway, where she has some information to share with him. At the offices of She-Hulk, which Patsy Walker a.k.a. Hellcat has taken over, she and Angie Huang discuss the agency's financial woes. Frustrated, Patsy goes to see her new assistant, Jubilee, who is looking after her son, Shogo Lee, and making some coffee. Jubilee explains to Patsy how she is working to increase their list of clients. Patsy, Jubilee, Sharon King, Tom Hale and Ian Soo go out that night to Midnight Radio, a kareoke bar. Ian becomes anxious with all the attention Tom seems to be getting from other guys. Turns out, Tom has been to the Midnight Radio a few times, and is quite the kareoke singer. He sings a song and the crowds love him. During Tom's song, Patsy goes to get her phone, but is approached by the Son of Satan. She goes outside with him, where he traps her. Tom finishes his song and goes over to Ian, who starts to congratulate him, before Jubilee pushes them to safety – Mad-Dog has arrived and is searching for Patsy. Jubilee starts to take Mad-Dog on, while the Son of Satan asks Patsy if she really thought her gaggle of gal pals could come after him. Patsy doesn't know what he is talking about, but when he mentions Hedy, Patsy tries to convince him that Hedy is causing trouble. Mad-Dog bursts out into the alleyway. There is some hostility between the Son of Satan and Mad-Dog, but Mad-Dog is interested in talking with Patsy. He attacks her, demanding to know why she has been hiding the cure to his condition all this time and laughed at the fact. Patsy tries to tell Mad-Dog that Hedy is lying, but the Son of Satan traps her again, and casts a spell that causes Patsy to vanish. She wakes, to find herself in a hell-like place, where She-Hulk is waiting for her, and announces that she is here to take Patsy home.

Full Summary: 

'I have to admit, I'm a little confused' remarks Daimon Hellstrom a.k.a. Hellstorm the Son of Satan. 'About what? I thought we were having a good time' Hedy Wolfe replies. Empty glasses are in front of them as they sit at a table in a fancy restaurant. 'We are. It's just... why are we talking about Patsy Walker?' Hellstrom asks referring to his ex-wife. Hedy, who is the number one frenemy of Patsy Walker, smiles, and tells Daimon that they don't have to, that it is nothing. 'Forget I brought her up'  Hedy adds, before frowning and telling Daimon that Patsy is only plotting to kill him.

Meanwhile, 68 Jay Street, Brooklyn, the offices of, well, usually Jennifer Walters, Attorney at Law, but currently Patsy Walker a.k.a. Hellcat. 'I'm WHAT?' Patsy exclaims to Angie Huang, who tells Patsy to calm down, and assures her that the debt is manageable, if they double their current client list. 'We've already doubled it, Angie. There's only so much we can do, with half the super heroes in town off saving the planet' Patsy replies. Looking through a book, Angie suggests that they could always increase the percentage they are taking. 'Your bedbug boy is doing very well in Queens, , he could certainly afford to give up a bigger slice'. Patsy tells Angie that he needs it to help his father with rent. She adds that Phil is saving for a car and Bailey has got student loans. 'As do we all, Ms Walker' Angie frowns, while her monkey, Hei-Hei leaps off her shoulder and shrieks. Patsy tells Angie that she can't give them a raw deal, that she promised to be fair and help them out. 'That is noble, but if we do not help ourselves out, Sharon may lose the building' Angie remarks. 'UUUUGGGHH' Patsy mutters as she drops her head onto the desk. 'I need to go see a vampire about a cappaccino' Patsy declares.

'We've got to stop meeting like this' Jubilation Lee a.k.a. Jubilee declares in one of the other offices as she puts a mug to the coffee machine. 'Do we? I kind of love meeting like this. It involves coffee' Patsy replies. 'You got it, Kitty-Cat' Jubilee agrees, while her adopted son, Shogo Lee is on the floor nearby, playing with some toys. Jubilee then thanks Patsy for letting Shogo chill here with her, adding that she is still working on a day care situation. Holding a stuffed Wolverine toy up to Shogo, Patsy suggests to Jubilee that she talk to J-Drew and J-Jones, as they have got some cool babies. Patsy looks up at Jubilee and asks her how she is settling in. 'This must be kind of weird, going from crime-fighting to taking calls' Patsy remarks. 'Eh, I've seen weirder' Jubilee replies, adding that it is kind of nice, what with everything going on, to chill out for a while. 'Plus, it turns out kids are super expensive?' Jubilee adds. 'No doubt' Patsy agrees, before asking how their schedule is looking.

Jubilee holds a laptop towards Patsy and explains that she is cross-referencing job listings and message boards with all the supers they have on deck – not just waiting for calls but making them. 'Someone needs a couch moved? Boom, I'm on it!' Jubilee smiles. 'That's awesome' Patsy tells her. 'Not bad for the living dead, huh?' Jubilee grins, baring her teeth. 'Whoa. I thought my teeth were sharp -' a wide-eyed Patsy remarks, while Sharon King enters the room, 'Oooh, look at that – it's already set to extra foam and everything!' Sharon exclaims as she admires the coffee machine. Jubilee frowns and tells Patsy that she is starting to wonder if the espresso machine was a good idea. 'Is this the only reason anyone visits me in here?' she asks. 'Yes' Patsy and Sharon tell her in unison. Jubilee ushers them out of the office, 'Okay, out you go. You want to keep us in almond milk, then I need to get back to work' she tells them.

The door closes behind them, and Patsy asks 'Did I just get told off by a teenager?' 'Careful' Sharon smiles. 'She might bite you'. 'Do you think she can -' Patsy starts to ask, as the door opens and Jubilee pokes her head out: 'Hey, I almost forgot! What are you guys doing tonight?'

Elsewhere, night has fallen and Hedy, wearing a trenchcoat and a cap walks down a derelict alleyway. 'Hello?' she calls out. 'YEEP!' Hedy shrieks when she hears a growling noise. 'Oh. It's just you' Hedy mutters unimpressed as she looks up at Robert “Buzz” Baxter a.k.a. Mad-Dog, who stands over her.

'What do you want?' Patsy's first husband asks Hedy, who smirks at him. 'Aw, look at you, all gruff and tumble. No love for your homecoming queen?' she asks. 'That was a lifetime ago. And for the record, you were never my -' Mad-Dog begins, but Hedy tells him to save it, announcing that she is here with information that concerns their mutual acquaintance. 'Who, Patsy? I heard you were in some kind of legal battle. I don't care' Mad-Dog replies. 'I suspect you will' Hedy tells him. But Mad-Dog turns from Hedy and tells her he won't. 'Patsy and I...you and I...we were kids. It's over' he declares. 'Wait, Buzz! Please!' Hedy calls out. She puts a hand on his large arm, and looking up at him, tells him that he needs to hear this.

Meantime, Tom Hale, Sharon King, Patsy, Jubilee and Ian Soo stand in front of a building called Midnight Radio. 'Nice one, Jubilee' Tom smiles. 'Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no' Sharon declares. 'Oh, yes!' Patsy smiles, throwing a fist into the air. Jubilee announces that she has a sitter until midnight, and not one minute before. 'I can't believe I didn't think of this' Ian remarks. Jubilee tells the others that she knows they have been going through a lot lately, and all she could think of was karaoke. 'Bless your dead little heart' Ian tells her. 'You owe me for this, Walker' Sharon remarks as they enter. 'What? What do you mean? Karaoke rules!' Patsy replies, while a guy walks past the group and waves at Tom, who smiles and waves back. 'That's a lie and you know it' Sharon scowls at Patsy, who tells her to come in, that it will be fine, and it will help.

'Will it? You seem... I don't want to be cold, but you seem fine' Sharon tells Patsy, who announces that she is not. Patsy hangs her head and asks Sharon if she knows what it is like when she stops working. 'When I get home and it's 3 AM and there's nothing left to do, so it finally hits me that Jen's still in a coma?' Tom waves at a man standing at the door into the bar, while Ian looks on, confused. '...I'm sorry' Sharon tells Patsy. Patsy reminds Sharon that she loves Jen, and it is so hard, that she feels helpless all the time. 'But if I'm going to be awake all night, hey – I might as well be awake with my friends!' Patsy grins as she rushes into the bar. 'Well I'm still not singing!' Sharon calls out after Patsy.

Soon, Patsy and Ian are at the bar waiting to be served. Tom stands behind them, while patrons are nearby, ordering their drinks, too. 'So you're Patsy's new intern?' Ian asks Jubilee. 'Assistant. Things got kind of crazy after She-Hulk, uh...' Jubilee starts to reply. Ian tells her that it is awful, that Patsy barely gets out of bed. 'I'm glad she came out tonight' Ian remarks. Jubilee then asks Ian if she and Patsy are together. 'What? Oh, no, Patsy's my roommate. We met when she caught me robbing a truck' Ian explains. 'No way! How -' Jubilee begins, when suddenly, 'TOM!' someone shouts. 'Tom Hale! C'mere, you angel! What'll you have? It's on the house!' Ian looks over at the other man who was calling to Tom, and frowns. 'Uh...' Jubilee remarks. But Tom shortly returns to Ian and Jubilee with two drinks. Tom tells Jubilee that her got her a soda and adds that he wasn't sure if she drank on account of being a vampire. 'Also, aren't you like 17?' he adds. 'It's...complicated. But thanks, Tom!' Jubilee replies. Swooning, Tom leans into Ian and hands him his drink. 'And for you, my little prince'. Ian goes red. Tom then walks over to the guy who called out to him before, and Jubilee asks 'So is that guy...your boyfriend?' 'My boss, actually' Ian replies. 'Goooood luck with that' Jubilee tells Ian. 'Mmmhmm' Ian mumbles, stirring his drink.

Up on stage, one of the staff calls out to everyone in the karaoke bar: 'Okay, kids, up next, we have a very special someone you all know and love, back with us by popular demand after far too long an absence – Mister Tommy Two-Step!' the staff member declares, as Tom takes thew stage. 'Hello, Midnight Radio! Have you missed me?' he calls out. The patrons all look up and smile, some of them cheer at Tom. 'Follow up: Are you ready to kick it old-school?' Tom asks them. Sharon, Jubilee, Ian and Patsy all look shocked. 'No. Friggin’. Way' Patsy utters. Tom begins to sing: “I admit that in the past I've been a bit nasty. They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch...”. 'Whaaaat' a wide-eyed Ian utters, while Patsy is speechless. Tom winks at Ian, “...and I fortunately know a little magic...” he continues to sing. Jubilee and Sharon are also in awe, while Ian knocks back his drink. Patsy announces that she is getting her phone. 'I want to watch this every day until I die'. Jubilee smiles at Ian and puts her arm on his shoulder. 'Your boss, huh?' she asks. Ian blushes and smiles.

At the booth the group was sitting in, Patsy rummages through her handbag for her phone. 'Come on, phone, where are you? This is an emergency!' she exclaims. 'Looking for this?' someone asks, holding a phone in front of Patsy. 'Oh no' Patsy utters. 'Long time no see, Pats' Daimon Hellstrom tells his ex-wife, who frowns at him and tells him that he has got a lot of nerve showing up here. 'We need to talk -' Daimon begins.

They step into an alleyway, after Patsy changes into her Hellcat costume. '- that is, if you can spare a minute of your precious time' Daimon remarks. 'If you think for one second you're going to sweet-talk me into taking you back, you've got another thing coming' Patsy tells Daimon. Daimon tells Patsy not to worry about that, and as his demonic staff appears, he points it at Patsy and traps her in some demonic bonds. 'Believe me, I'm over you!' he tells the now trapped Hellcat.

Back inside, Tom bows after finishing his song. 'How about that, folks? I tell ya, he doesn't come around often, but when he does, he blows  the roof right off. Give it up for Tom!' the karaoke bar staff member tells the cheering audience. 'Hey, how was I?' Tom asks as he approaches Ian, Jubilee and Sharon. 'Um....' Ian grins. 'You were...I mean...I can't believe...' his voice trails off as he and Tom look into each other’s eyes. 'Duck!' Jubilee shouts, pushing Ian and Tom to the floor. 'Where?' Ian asks – but as a table is thrown against the wall, Ian looks up and remarks 'Oh, so not Howard'. 'Who?' Jubilee asks. 'Never mind!' Ian replies as they dodge a chair which is thrown towards them. Patrons of the Midnight Radio start to run as Mad-Dog appears: 'Where is she? Where is PATSY WALKER?' Mad-Dog roars. 'Hooo-boy' Ian remarks as he, Jubilee, Tom and Sharon take cover under a table.

'Who's this clown?' Jubilee asks. 'Not even one of the better-known clowns. He's Patsy's ex, if you can believe it' Tom reveals. 'Y''know, somehow, I can' Sharon replies, while Jubilee announces that she isn't going to wait under this table to get staked by an accident. 'That's cool. I think we're good here, though!' Ian calls out. 'Yep!' Tom agrees. 'Good luck!' Sharon exclaims as they all wave at Jubilee, who turns to a mist (with her signature pink shades), 'Thanks, BRB' she tells them. Jubilee returns to her human form, 'Hey, Jojo the Dog-Faced Boy! If You're looking for Patsy, she said to give you a message' Jubilee calls out. 'Huh?' Mad-Dog asks. “Sorry about your face!” Jubilee exclaims as she kicks Mad-Dog in his face. 'Although I bet you get that a lot' Jubilee adds. 'Tell me where she is!' Mad-Dog booms as he breaks through a table and runs towards Jubilee.

Back outside in the alleyway, Hellcat screams, before she falls to her knees, then collapses. Hellstorm kneels down beside her, and asks Patsy when exactly she was planning to have her gaggle of gal pals come after him. 'Wha...?' Patsy asks, confused. Hellstorm grabs Patsy's chin and tells her not to be coy, that he knows what she is planning. 'You call it a temp agency, but I know it's just a front. Hedy told me everything' Hellstorm announces. 'Hedy' Patsy declares. 'After all this time, you'd go to that much effort just to try and ban me from this plane of existence! Bringing together all those magic users over a grudge?' Hellstorm asks. Still weary, Patsy tells Daimon that Hedy is lying.

'Comin' through!' Jubilee calls out as Mad-Dog slams her through the wall and into the alleyway. 'Where is – Patsy?' Mad-Dog calls out, looking down to his ex-wife, who looks up at him: 'Hey, Buzz' she waves at him. 'Buzz Baxter?' Daimon asks, looking at Mad-Dog. 'Hell-boy?' Mad-Dog replies. 'You know for a fact that's not my name, you insolent mutt!' Hellstorm declares, pointing his staff at Mad-Dog, who asks 'Is your fork supposed to scare me, Neptune?'

Jubilee helps Patsy stand up, 'Gentlemen, please' Patsy calls out. 'You're right. I'm done talking. Let's start fighting!' Mad-Dog declares as he jumps into the air. Hellcat and Jubilee dart away from him, but he goes after Patsy, who asks him why he is doing this. 'Shut up! Give me the cure or I'll tear you and your friend apart!' Buzz replies. 'What cure?' Patsy asks him. 'you've had it for years! YEARS! Kept me stuck in this body – as an animal!' Mad-Dog exclaims. Patsy leaps into him and tells him that she doesn't know what he is talking about. 'She told me! Hedy! You showed her the formula – the exact thing I need to become human again – and you laughed!' Buzz declares. Patsy drops off his back and swears to him that Hedy is lying. 'Why? She has no reason to' Buzz points out. 'She has every reason to! She's Hedy!' Patsy exclaims. 'Well, you do have a point...' Buzz starts to reply, when suddenly, Patsy finds herself trapped in magical bonds again. 'No more lies' Hellstorm calls out. He holds his staff up, as a pentagram surrounds Patsy.

'You will feel what I feel, when oyu get back, you'll tell us what we want to know!' Hellstorm exclaims. 'WAIT!' Jubilee screams, but an instant later, Patsy vanishes. 'We will have our answers' Hellstorm declares. 'You idiot! What did you do?' Jubilee asks. 'Yeah, what is she supposed to do in another dimension?' Mad-Dog asks. 'Reflect' Hellstorm replies.

There is darkness all around, save for the flicker of a few flames. 'Where am I?' Patsy calls out. 'Hell. Or, I suppose, something like it' a voice responds. 'Am I dead?' Patsy asks. The voice replies: 'I don't know. You've been dead before. What did it feel like?' 'Different' Patsy answers. 'Well, that makes sense. You're lost' the voice tells Patsy, who looks up, and sees She-Hulk standing over her. 'I'm here to take you home!'

 

Characters Involved: 

Hellcat

 

Jubilee

Shogo Lee

Tom Hale & Ian Soo

She-Hulk

Sharon King

Angie Huang

Hei-Hei

 

Hedy Wolfe

 

Son of Satan

Mad-Dog

 

Patrons and staff at Midnight Radio

Story Notes: 

Patsy and Buzz Baxter were childhood sweethearts, their romance chronicled by Patsy's mother in the many “Patsy Walker” comics. They married, but Patsy's independence angered Buzz, and they separated soon after. He took the guise Mad-Dog in New Defenders #125.

Hellcat and Hellstrom married in New Defenders #125 after being teammates and lovers for some time. They retired from the Defenders and became occult investigators, until Hellstrom's demonic nature caused Hellcat to go insane, and she committed suicide in Hellstorm Princes of Lies #14.

Mad-Dog hasn't appeared since Captain America (1st series) #602-604.

 

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