Wolverine (2nd series) #7

Issue Date: 
May 1989
Story Title: 
Mr. Fixit comes to town
Staff: 

Chris Claremont (writer), John Buscema (artist), Ken Bruzenak (letterer), Mike Rockwitz (colorist), Bob Harras (editor), Tom DeFalco (consigliere)

Brief Description: 

The Incredible Hulk, in his role as enforcer Joe Fixit, is hired by an American businessman to sort out the problems he’s been having in Madripoor - namely General Coy’s shipment loss. He takes a chauffeur driven car to Los Angeles, mixing it up with some rich-kid bikers on the way there. Meanwhile, Prince Baran spares Patch, Jessica Drew and Tyger Tiger from the dungeons when he notices Lindsay McCabe is with them. He is a big fan of the actress. He takes her away and Patch chats with Tyger about the best ways to proceed. He assures her that making good with General Coy is the only way out of this situation. Later, having done so, the prince dismisses them both, and takes Lindsay, Patch and Jessica on a tour of his palace. Lindsay is amazed to find a shrine to her, and almost dies of embarrassment and pleasure. Back at the Sovereign Hotel, General Coy is furious at the prince’s actions. Karma gets changed and is chatted up by Roughouse. Fortunately, Patch appears and, between them, they put him to sleep. She informs Patch that Coy must be protected from Joe Fixit, as he is her best chance of finding her siblings. He heads to Madripoor International Airport, where Joe Fixit is attacked by more goons. He deals with them as easily as he did those at China Lake, assisted by Patch who agrees to drive him back to his hotel. There, as Fixit sleeps, he reverts to his Bruce Banner form, and Patch figures he’s gonna have some fun with him.

Full Summary: 

(Tahoe, Nevada)

An American businessman is speaking with Joe Fixit, an alter ego for the grey Hulk. He is an old friend on Joe Fixit’s employer, Michael Berengetti, who holds him in high regards. The businessman wishes to hire Joe to sort out a problem he has in the Far East. He has engaged in a partnership with a man, General Coy, whose bona fides were as impeccable as Michael’s. However, recent events have begun to suggest otherwise. He suggests that if Joe manages to sort out his problem, a more permanent association might be discussed. Joe sips some wine, and replies that he’s already spoken for.

(Madripoor)

Bloodsport and Roughouse are out for the count, leaving General Coy at the mercy of Patch. Unfortunately, Prince Baran intervenes and his soldiers train their guns on the assembled heroes and villains. The prince is displeased and has half a mind to throw everyone into the deepest dungeon, but before he can finish his warnings, he notices Lindsay McCabe. His demeanor suddenly changes and he kisses her hand. He admits to being an admirer of her work; what she might call a fan. General Coy is astonished that he’s socializing when he should be killing, but the prince warns him to have a care, lest he find himself numbered among them. He tells his captain that these people are his honored guests, and he should see to their needs and bring them to him when they are presentable.

He leads Lindsay away, as Patch notices General Coy shifting uneasily in his tailored suit. With the prince’s support, he launched an attack on Tyger Tiger to gain control of Madripoor’s underworld. Unfortunately, Tyger’s still alive, and Coy is concerned.

(near the China Lake Naval Weapons Test Center)

Joe Fixit’s chauffeur, Connie, is filling the tank when a group of rich-kid bikers arrive in a cloud of dust. Their leader, Chaz, checks out Connie and quickly makes a move on her, putting his arm around her shoulders. His invasion of her personal space doesn’t go down well, and she knocks him to the ground, telling him she doesn’t play with children. A couple of his well-to-do female friends mock him and, in his embarrassment, Chaz takes a swing at Connie, knocking her over. He then removes a flick knife from his pocket and proceeds to scratch a line down the side of the car.

He grins, and asks Connie if she’s carrying any passengers. “Bride and groom, maybe?” Teener-beeners out on a prom night prowl? Some fat old corporate crock, sparking with his secretary? A knight in shining armor, who’d care to step out to defend your honor?” The door suddenly swings open, and out steps Joe Fixit. He stands a couple of feet above Chaz, and a couple of feet wider, too. Chaz’s expression quickly changes from confidence to horror. Joe asks Connie if she’s okay, but she only apologizes. She didn’t want to bother him, and thought she could handle it herself.

Joe turns to Chaz and his friends, and tells them that the car’ll cost them, but the black eye will cost them even more. Chaz gets some confidence by being surrounded by his friends and tells Joe that, if he leaves them his driver, he gets to walk away untouched. “Is that a fair deal, or what?” he asks. Joe smiles, and informs Chaz that he really should’a quit while he was ahead.

Grabbing two of their motorbikes, he proceeds to smash the rest - tossing them around into the other bikes like they were made of balsa. One of the guys runs, but Chaz swings at Joe with a plank of wood. Upon impact with his head, the plank snaps in two, and Joe turns to face him, menacingly. Chaz leaps onto a bike that’s still roadworthy and makes his getaway. However, Joe isn’t finished with him yet, and he leaps down the road, landing several feet in front of Chaz. With no time to stop, the bike crashes into Joe and throws Chaz to the asphalt.

After a ticking off, Joe returns to Chaz’s friends, the ones that remained behind, and informs them that Chaz saw the light. He has to go now, but he expects them to help Connie fix her car and pay for all the repairs. They can then turn themselves in to the cops; full confessions all round. If he hears anything different, he’ll be back. As he rides away on one of their bikes, Connie orders them to move. “Yes ma’am,” they reply in unison.

(Madripoor)

Tyger stalks her room like a caged bird. She is concerned that she cannot remove the armor given her by Lindsay. As she is in the hands of the prince, she cannot help at this moment. As she stands on the balcony and worries about either starving or dying of thirst, Patch grabs her hood and pulls her up to the roof. “Wolverine!” she remarks. He reminds her that the world believes Wolverine to be dead. He’s Patch for the time being. He removes her mask with ease, and she asks how. He explains that he commissioned the armor for a friend. It stands to reason he’d have the ultimate key.

Tyger asks if he’s come to help. He replies that the prince has an offer for her she shouldn’t refuse. “Do I win?” she asks. Patch tells her she’ll survive, and she should be content with that. She turns on him, asking if he’s switched sides to become the princes’ lackey. Patch snikts his claws, and Tyger is pleased she’s made him angry. At least he’s man enough to feel shame.

Patch tells her she’s acting like a fool. He explains that General Coy’s proposition made sense to the prince. It was good business; worth even the sacrifice of a trusted advisor if the coup could be managed quick and clean. But, Coy botched the job, and now the situation’s messy. Tyger says there is a simple solution, but Patch asks her to think, and consider the prince’s angle. She won’t touch drugs or slaves, and these are two of the lucrative markets on the island. That leaves a vacuum. If Coy doesn’t fill it, someone else will.

Patch reckons that Tyger is a crimelord after the prince’s own heart. She is honorable, whereas General Coy is too dangerous a threat to the prince’s throne. Tyger by herself means never-ending turf wars. The pair of them, balancing and checking each other is the best of both worlds for the prince. Tyger reminds him that Chancellor Ranjamaryam was as much Patch’s friend as he was hers. Coy had him butchered and the prince sanctioned it. Does that mean nothing? Patch replies that Ranja’s dead; she’s not. He wants Coy as much as Tyger, but now is not the time.

(LAX, Los Angeles International Airport)

Baggage handlers load up Joe Fixit’s Louis Vuitton suitcases for Joe’s trip to Madripoor. Upon hearing his footsteps in the plane above him and seeing the wheels creek under his weight, the handler ensures he is extra careful with the bags.

(Madripoor)

Prince Baran is pleased to see Tyger and General Coy reach an understanding. They shake hands before him to seal their truce. He then asks his troops to escort them from the palace using opposite ends of the palace grounds. There’s no sense tempting fate any more than they’ve already done tonight. As she leaves with Coy’s entourage, Karma glances backwards at Patch. He’s not the only one to notice. Jessica thinks she’s a good kid who deserves better than her uncle. Patch knows she’s right, and also knows he cannot abandon her. For now, he tags along with Jessica, as the prince shows Lindsay, now decked out in new clothes courtesy of the prince’s courtier, around the palace.

They soon come to a spacious room, which is pretty much a shrine to Lindsay. She is astonished. All around her are statuettes dressed up as characters she has played in movies such as Demon Debs, Demon Blues, Last Train from Moscow, Cyber Witch, Lethal Latex Lovelies and Ms. Merc. Photographs and posters of her appearances in movies and theater adorn the walls. Lindsay says she’s embarrassed and thinks she wants to die, but Jessica tells her that her protests would carry more weight were she not grinning from ear to ear.

The prince chats with Lindsay about her career. Lindsay informs him that she never appeared in any San Francisco rep productions, as she was tossed off a roof by Viper. After she left hospital, she hooked up with Jess and became her assistant to fill the time until she was ready to take the stage again. She hasn’t had a dull moment since. Baran asks her for an autograph, as Jessica notices that Patch has vanished.

(The Sovereign Hotel, Madripoor)

In his penthouse suite, General Coy is furious at Baran’s betrayal. Karma is getting dressed in an adjoining room, and figures that her uncle’s so obsessed with himself that he’s never thought to question her presence at the palace; or why she was dressed so scandalously. She hopes he doesn’t work out that she was working against him.

Suddenly, the door swings open and the giant Roughouse wanders in. He’s drunk, and immediately tries to make a move on Xi’an. He figures that she’s a fine figure of a woman, and all she needs to make her life compete, is a man. There’s a tap on his shoulder. He turns to see Patch standing there. Before he can react, Patch slams him with a right uppercut. “Maybe so, lummox… but you ain’t him!” he quips as the big guy careens across the room. Karma takes hold of his mind with her own and puts him to sleep.

Karma informs Patch that her uncle is in danger. He has an arrangement with an American crimelord, but Patch destroying his crop is preventing him from fulfilling his obligations. She tells him that Mr. Fixit is in town to deal with him. Patch figures she should let him, but Karma says her uncle’s still the best hope she has of finding her kidnapped brother and sister. For their sake, she must stand by him, no matter the cost. Roughouse begins to wake up, rubbing his head, but Patch punches him again, and the big guy collapses.

(Madripoor International Airport)

Patch awaits Mr. Fixit’s arrival. He knows his reputation, but he also knows that in all his time in Vegas, neither Fixit nor his boss, Berengetti, had ever been part of any mob operation. He wonders why the change of heart. Still, he figures that since Karma asked him to check things out, he should oblige.

Fixit’s baggage handler struggles with his heavy cases, so he picks them up himself, along with the diminutive baggage handler. He shoves his bags into the back of his new chauffer driven car. He wants to be back in his room by sunrise. However, the handler asks for a tip. “Say what?” asks Fixit. The guy holds his hand out waiting for payment, and lets out a string of expletives when Fixit doesn’t hand over any cash.

Fixit grabs him by his collar and tells him he has a big mouth for such a little guy. The man pulls out a pistol and informs Fixit that in a couple of seconds, he won’t have no mouth at all. The gun fires, knocking Fixit’s hat off his head. Once the smoke subsides, Fixit is still there, looking back at him with everything intact. Only a charred discharge coats Fixit’s grey skin. “Definitely no tip,” he mutters.

The handler looks at his pistol with amazement before calling for backup. Several thugs arrive, and Patch notices that they don’t seem like Tyger’s muscle. Coy’s men, maybe? Whatever, he’s got Fixit’s scent, and even if it’s grey instead ‘o green, the fighting style confirms that it’s really the Hulk. Fixit takes care of the men with ease, and Patch enjoys the show from the sidelines. His new female chauffeur tries to keep out of the way, but one thug grabs her by the hair and puts a pistol to her head. He begins to drag her to the alley but, before he gets too far, Patch snikts his claws right under the guy’s nose. He stops and releases the chauffeur, before Patch drops him with a punch to the solar plexus.

One of the others surprisingly pulls out a hand grenade and tosses it towards Fixit and his chauffeur. Fixit leans over and grabs it in his huge fist. The grenade goes off, but his fingers maintain their clenched shape, releasing the energy harmlessly. He warns the thugs to scat while they’re still able, and before they make him mad. On cue, the goons make for the horizon, and Fixit asks Patch whose side he’s on. The angels, replies Patch. He thinks his chauffeur needs looking at by a doc. Fixit thinks she’s fine, but Patch insists she’s in no fit state to drive. Fixit says he can do it then. He’ll make it worth his while.

He wants taking to the hotel by dawn, and Patch feels it’s an offer he can’t refuse. The cops won’t like them bugging out like this, but he wants to find out what’s so special about the sunrise. They make the Sovereign with time to spare, and Fixit proves as generous as his word. Patch gives the chauffeur his money.

He then waits until morning to make his move. Silently, he creeps into Fixit’s room, but almost blows the caper by laughing out loud when he sees who’s on the bed. Wearing Fixit’s huge suit, Robert Bruce Banner lies there, asleep. Bruce by day, Hulk by night. No wonder he was paranoid about getting under cover. The sunlight makes Banner boss, and Hulk’s never liked that much. Patch figures he must use sedatives to keep him asleep till night. He’ll like it less before Patch is through. This is gonna be fun.

Characters Involved: 

Wolverine/Patch

Mr. Fixit/Hulk/Dr. Bruce Banner

Fixit’s employer, his butler and his guards

Fixit’s chauffeur, Connie

Jessica Drew

Lindsay McCabe

Tyger Tiger

Archie Corrigan

Bloodsport & Roughouse

Prince Baran

Baran’s soldiers

Chaz, Laurence and their fellow bikers

Airport baggage handlers including Arnie & Lou

Karma

Fixit’s new chauffeur

Airport thugs

(in photographs/paintings)

Lindsay McCabe

Story Notes: 

Wolverine’s eye disguises change back and forth again in this issue. He finished the last issue wearing nothing on his face, begins this issue wearing gauze to cover his eyes and later wears an eye patch.

The Hulk actually began life grey, but turned green due to a coloring problem. Stan Lee decided to color him green and stuck with it, until many years later. Recently, he has been working for Michael Berengetti in a Las Vegas casino as his enforcer.

Louis Vuitton is a French fashion house named after its founder, which continues to cater for the high end of the market.

The China Lake Naval Weapons Center in Southern California is around 150 miles north-east of Los Angeles.

The deceased chancellor is called Ranjamaryan here, but was previously called Ranjamaryam.

At this moment in his life, Bruce Banner and the Hulk could only emerge at sunrise and sundown respectively.

Issue Information: 

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