Bobby “Iceman” Drake and Warren Worthington the Third a.k.a. Angel stand on the corner of a bustling street. ‘Wooo. Spring Break. Bleh’ Bobby mutters. ‘You sound less than enthused’ Warren tells his friend. Bobby replies that hanging out in the city wasn’t exactly his plan A. ‘Yeah, me either’ Warren remarks. ‘Funny how that works out, Mr Forgot to Buy the Plane Tickets’ he mutters. ‘You’re Warren “Stupid Rich” Worthington’ Bobby adds. ‘Yeah, that’s why I booked our rooms at an incredibly expensive resort!’ Warren declares, so Bobby accuses him of it being his fault for not reminding him to make the travel arrangements. ‘I really should’ve remembered what a complete flake you are, you’re right. “My bad”’ Warren replies. ‘Dude, no one says that anymore’ Bobby points out.
They carry on down the street, as Warren asks why they need to travel to exotic locales when they live right next to the greatest city in the word. ‘Wolverine went to Japan. You just know he’s gonna fight ninjas. Sight-seeing like a couple of old ladies doesn’t quite compare’ Bobby replies. They meet a couple of girls, and talk to them. They travel to a bistro together, where Warren spends more time talking to the girls, and Bobby falls asleep. Later, when the girls leave, ‘That worked out pretty good. Got invited to one of their birthday parties this weekend’ Warren remarks. ‘Wish my mutant power was to be rich and handsome’ Bobby mutters. ‘Oh, hey, I forgot. Spider-Man called’ Warren announces. ‘Really?’ Bobby asks. ‘Yeah, he wants his personality back’ Warren jokes. ‘Oh, har, har’ Bobby snaps. ‘You like that one? I’ve got more’ Warren tells his friend. ‘I just bet you do’ Bobby mutters.
Suddenly, there is a mighty KATHOOOM!’, which startles Bobby and Warren. ‘Did you hear that?’ Warren asks. ‘I got ears, don’t I?’ Bobby snaps. They start to run down the sidewalk, while civilians run in the other direction. ‘What’s going on?’ Warren asks. Bobby replies that he can’t see. People start running into them. ‘Watch it’ someone tells them. ‘What’s going on? What’re you running from?’ Bobby asks. The man asks Bobby if he is fresh off the bus. ‘This here is New York City. Super heroes and laser beams. People run, you’d be wise to do the same’ he suggests.
‘It’s a sea monster, a sea monster!’ a child calls out. ‘You thinking what I’m thinking?’ Bobby ask. ‘I’m thinking we should at least look into it’ Warren replies. They continue running down the street, ‘I’m thinking that, but also that guy was kind of a jerk’ Bobby adds. ‘You bring out the best in people, Bobby’ Warren assures his friend.
Arriving at the waterfront, both young men look up in shock. ‘Warren’. ‘Bobby’. ‘I’m seeing things’ Bobby calls out. ‘Yeah, yeah. I see it to’ Warren replies, as a large orange-brown being with a huge head, two green eyes and a wide mouth starts to emerge from the water. ‘Y’know, this is not the strangest thing we’ve seen’ Bobby points out. ‘I know that’s true, but I’m having trouble believing it right now’ Warren replies. ‘Yeah’ Bobby agrees. They remove their civilian clothing, revealing their X-Men costumes underneath, and Warren extends his wings, taking flight as Angel, while Bobby ices up. ‘Do we have any kind of plan here?’ Angel asks. ‘Just keep it busy until the Fantastic Four or the Avengers show up’ Iceman suggests.
Iceman creates an ice-slide and moves out over the water, ‘I’ll hit ‘im high and you hit ‘im low!’ he tells Angel. ‘I’m the one with wings. Let’s reverse that’ Angel suggests. ‘Too late!’ Iceman calls out as he moves closer to their mysterious foe and blasts him with some ice. ‘Bobby!’ Warren calls out, as the behemoth knocks Bobby aside with ease, shattering the ice-slide in the process. ‘This ends now!’ Angel declares as he flies towards the large creature, before suddenly realizing that all he has are wings. The creature then swats Angel away with ease. Bobby is sitting on an ice-floe, while Warren splashes into the water. ‘Well’ he mutters. ‘Yup’ Bobby agrees. Warren asks if the Fantastic Four have shown up yet. ‘Nope’ Bobby tells him. ‘Avengers?’ Warren enquires. ‘Nada’ Bobby remarks. ‘H’okay’ Warren sighs.
The large creature has now emerged from the water and starts its way down one of the now-deserted New York streets. Warren and Bobby make their way back onto land, and Bobby supposes that he is doing this one solo. ‘How’s that?’ Warren asks. Bobby points out that Warren’s wings are all wet, so he can’t fly. ‘Says who?’ Warren replies. ‘Like, physics’ Bobby declares. ‘Birds can’t fly when their feathers are wet’ he explains. ‘I’m not a bird’ Warren states. ‘You’ve got bird wings’ Bobby tells him. ‘Proving, I should think, that physics have nothing to do with how I fly!’ Angel exclaims. ‘So how do you fly?’ Bobby asks. ‘Uh, well. The wings are involved. But different from birds. I mean, my pecs would have to be at least twice as killer’ Warren boasts. ‘Oh, right, I forgot. Your mutant power is to go topless at the drop of a hat’ Bobby smiles. ‘You’re one to talk’ Warren reminds his friend. Suddenly, they cannot see the creature. ‘Great. You lost the monster!’ Bobby declares. ‘ME?’ Warren shouts.
Shortly, Warren flies through the air, and Bobby rides a new ice-sled as they catch up to the monster further down a street. ‘There!’ Bobby calls out. Warren asks Bobby if he has any bright ideas, as they see the creature holding up a bus. ‘This time you go high and I’ll go low’ Bobby suggests. ‘Gosh, good thinking’ Warren mutters. ‘I know, right?’ Bobby replies. They both get into position, with Warren hovering near the creature’s face, and Bobby on an ice-sled down at the creature’s feet. ‘Uh, now what?’ Warren asks. ‘I dunno. Kick him?’ Bobby calls out. ‘I’m not sure that’ll do any good’ Warren replies as he moves up higher, above the creature’s head.
Bobby points out that Warren isn’t really built for this kind of thing, and suggests to him that what he needs are wings made out of knives. ‘That’s the single stupidest thing I ever heard. What bout my normal wings? Where do they go?’ Warren asks as he flies even higher once the creature looks up and reaches for him. ‘They’re still there too’ Bobby suggests as he starts to cover the ground in ice. ‘Bobby, I can’t have both. Wings don’t work like that’ Warren explains. ‘Where were they before they came out? That’s where they go’ Bobby tells Warren. Warren darts about the creature, and tells Bobby to not take this the wrong way, but that he thinks he has been hit in the head one too many times - or maybe not enough.
‘Your metal wings would be rad. They’d be like feathers only metal. And flexible! Like sci-fi jet. But also razor-sharp so you could slice up fools!’ Bobby calls out, as the large creature suddenly slips on the ice and falls backwards, landing with a crashing FOOOM! ‘Ha! The bigger that are, blah, blah, blah, Bobby Drake is the best’ Bobby calls out as he turns away from the monster - which starts to get back up. ‘Bobby!’ Warren calls out. Bobby turns around - as the monster starts to bring its foot down on top of him. Bobby looks shocked, but Warren swoops down, just in time to pull his friend to safety. ‘Like tackling an iceberg’ Warren remarks. ‘Where’s the Fantastic Four already? Or the Avengers? Or the military?’ Bobby asks as he and Warren take a minute’s rest down an alleyway.
At that moment, the Avengers - Captain America, Giant Man, Iron Man and Thor are being held captive by Kang on the moon, while the Fantastic Four - Mr Fantastic, the Invisible Girl, the Human Torch and Thing, are prisoners of Annihilus, and the military are dealing with Namor the Sub-Mariner, who declares that, for the last time, he cannot “surrender”, as this is not an invasion of the surface world. ‘I just wanted a bagel! We don’t have them down there. Imperius Rex!’ Namor shouts.
The monster turns its attention to another building, and as debris starts to fall to the street below, two children are trapped as rocks fall around them. ‘There -’ Bobby calls out. ‘I’m on it!’ Warren exclaims as he soars towards the children, and pulls them to safety, just in time. He sets them down near some other civilians, but more rubble continues to fall around them. Warren looks up and extends his wings over the children, as two large chunks of concrete fall towards them - but, an instant later, a large ice-shield surrounds Warren, the children and the other civilians, with Bobby freezing the concrete into the shield before it can harm anyone. Angel tells the civilians that this location has been compromised. ‘If you’ll follow me to -’ he begins, but one man declares ‘We ain’t following no mutie!’ ‘I, uh -’ Warren begins, while Bobby creates an opening the ice, and tells Warren that they have to get these people out of here. ‘Ah! Mutie! Filthy mutie!’ the man exclaims.
‘We just saved your lives!’ Iceman declares. ‘Leave us alone! We were safe until you mutants showed up fighting a giant!’ one of the other civilians calls out. ‘Yeah, take your monster and get outta our city!’ another shouts. Iceman and Angel leave the ice-shield, with Warren telling Bobby that they don’t mean it. ‘Yeah they do’ Bobby replies. ‘They’re just scared’ Warren points out. Bobby starts to create another ice-slide, ‘Of us? We’re not the ones ripping up the city and -’ he begins, before going wide-eyed and remembering the monster looking inside one of the buildings, and then the busy. ‘He’s looking for something!’ Iceman tells Angel, as he slides towards the creature, who is looking inside another building.
‘Hey! Monster face!’ Bobby calls out. ‘Where’re you -’ Angel begins as he flies after Bobby. The creature turns and looks at Iceman, confused. ‘Yeah, I’m talking to you!’ Bobby exclaims. The creature suddenly raises its hands, ‘Impertinent speck! How dare you speak in that manner!’ he it calls out. ‘It talks!’ Angel gasps. ‘Of course I speak!’ the monster remarks, before Iceman tells it to stop wrecking their city. ‘I am not wrecking it! Goom, the thing from Planet X, cares not for your pathetic Earth civilization! It is not worth the pitiful effort it would take to destroy!’ Goom boasts, casually knocking part of a building. ‘Who calls himself a Thing? Besides Ben Grimm I mean’ Angel remarks. ‘And who refers to their own home world as Planet X?’ Bobby asks.
‘Do not be as foolish as you are ugly! The incredibly advanced technology of my translation device can only do so much with a language as inelegant as your own’ Goom tells the young heroes. Angel tells Goom that he feels they are getting off track here, and asks him what it is he is doing. ‘Goom seeks his son Googam!’ Goom explains. ‘I’m sorry, I’m still stuck on the Planet X part. Where is it?’ Bobby remarks, before asking Goom how he got here and why his monster son is in an Earth college and how that didn’t make national news. Goom informs Angel and Iceman that he attempted to conquer their meager world many years ago, and it would have worked if not for the interference of other things from Planet X. ‘I left Googam to hatch in a cave and conquer your feeble world in my place. He went to college instead’.
‘So, it isn’t worth your time to destroy our civilization, but conquering it is a-okay?’ Iceman asks. ‘Yes, why not? They are two different things’ Goom points out. ‘From cave monster to college student, I think there’s an inspirational after-school special in that’ Angel jokes, while Iceman asks how a giant attends college anyway. ‘We can be smaller! It’s how we fit inside our spacecraft! Super large size is for conquering worlds!’ Goom reveals, before announcing that if anything has happened to Googam, this miserable planet will be conquered. ‘What makes you think something has happened?’ Iceman enquires. Goom reveals that Googam did not make his Earth-weekly check-in call. ‘What do you call an alien monster’s helicopter parent?’ Iceman whispers to Angel. ‘Mothership parent?’ Angel asks. ‘Y’think Goom is a lady?’ Bobby asks. ‘I don’t know!’ Warren replies.
‘Wait a second. Googam missed his most recent check-in?’ Angel asks. ‘That is the thing I said!’ Goom exclaims. ‘And you’ll stop trashing New York or conquering Earth or whatever if you can find him’ Angel enquires. ‘That is correct’ Goom states. ‘You thinking what I’m thinking?’ Angel asks Iceman, who replies ‘Spaceship?’ ‘Spaceship’ Angel agrees.
Shortly, a spaceship descends over Empire State University. Goom has reduced to a smaller size and exit’s the spaceship with Bobby and Warren who have changed into civilian clothing. ‘I mean, someone here must know where Googam got off to, right?’ Bobby suggests, while some students start running away when they see Goom. ‘Monster!’ someone shouts. ‘This is turning out to be hard than I thought it’d be…’ Warren remarks, while the students continue to run away. They approach a frat house, where two frat boys are sitting out the front. ‘Bro, dude, check it out. It’s another Googam’ one of them remarks. ‘Dude’ the other replies. ‘Bro’ the first mutters. ‘Goom? We may need to use your translator’ Warren states. ‘Even the amazing technologies of Planet X have their limits’ Goom replies. ‘Oh, it’s not that bad. Gimme a second’ Bobby tells the others, before approach the frat boys. ‘Bro!’ he exclaims. ‘Dude!’ the frat boy replies. ‘You know where we can find Googam?’ Bobby asks.
Later, Cancun, Mexico, ‘Hey, who‘s blocking my light?’ Googam calls out from where he is relaxing on the beach. He looks up and sees the spaceship hovering overhead. ‘Aww, crap’ Googam mutters. ‘C’mon, Dad!’ he calls out when Goom appears before him. ‘Don’t you Earth slang me!’ Goom warns Googam. Googam mutters that this is so embarrassing - as the other guys don’t havev monster dads raiding their Spring Break. A beam catches Goom and his son and drags them up to the spaceship. ‘Well, the other guys won’t be conquering Earth’ Goom points out. ‘Not this again’ Googam mumbles. ‘No back talk!’ Goom orders, while Googam drops his shades.
‘And now they’ll beam us up and -’ Bobby begins down below, as he catches Googam’s glasses. But, Goom’s spaceship makes a quick take-off into the sky. ‘I…think we need to call the Professor’ Bobby tells Warren as he puts the shades on. ‘On the other hand…’ he remarks, looking around at the students on the beach. ‘It is Spring Break’ Warren points out. ‘And we did make it to Mexico’ Bobby remarks, before deciding that they should call the Professor. ‘Just maybe not immediately’ Warren suggests. ‘Definitely not immediately’ Bobby agrees, and the friends both smile.
