Issue Date: April 2005
Story Title: Thirty Pieces - part 2: True Confessions
Staff: Fabian Nicieza (writer), Patrick Zircher (penciler) M3TH@UDON with Derek Fridolfs (Inkers), Gotham (Colourist), V.C.’s Chris Eliopoulos (Letterer) Patrick Zircher, M3TH and Frank D’Armata (Cover), Schmidt&Lazer (Assistant Editors), Nicole Wiley (editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dank Buckley (Publisher)
Cable created by Rob Liefeld and Louise Simonson
Deadpool created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Nicieza
Agent X attacks Deadpool and his friends to prevent them from rescuing Cable. Deadpool and Agent X take the fight out of the window, while inside the Phalanx Baby has escaped and is making life difficult for Fixer and Weasel. After a long fight, Deadpool gets up a bit quicker than Agent X and uses his sword on him. He then goes back inside and shoots the Phalanx Baby off Fixer’s face. They know need to take the baby to Cable and, thanks to a comment of Fixer, Deadpool remembers where Cable is. The Six Pack is in Cable’s safehouse in Switzerland, where an out-of-control Cable has pulled them inside his mind. His mind is a warped cartoon world, where he tells them all that he is dying and happy no longer having to fight. He also tells them that they will all die once he dies, because they are linked to his mind. Deadpool and Fixer arrive at Cable’s safehouse and Fixer merges the Phalanx baby with Cable. Inside Cable’s mind, the Phalanx Baby becomes a giant monster that battles Cable. Cable is not fighting back until Domino convinces him to do so. Cable gains control over the techno-organic creature. Agent X shows up and wants Deadpool to give back his pancreas; Deadpool having took it while using his sword on him earlier. Deadpool and Agent X are at a standoff for a while, but in the end Agent X is willing to let his mission go if he can have his pancreas back. Deadpool agrees, but tries to get Agent X to tell who hired him. Agent X is unwilling to say, but hints that it is somebody who doesn’t want to see Cable resurrected three days after his death. By now, Cable wakes up again and has shaped the alien baby into a new arm and other missing body parts. The Six Pack is still out of it, but slowly coming around. Cable thanks Fixer and Deadpool, then turns to Agent X and asks him to tell his employers that he is no threat to them. Cable then moves to Providence to rest and heal. One week later, Nick Fury and Cable talk about Providence slowly becoming a country in itself. Nick Fury leaves with the advice to Cable to not mess with him. Irene enters and asks Cable if he is going to keep messing with them. Cable says he will.
Deadpool and Agent X are in mid-fight and mid-fall, each arguing over that the other is copying him. During the fight, they keep trying to prove each is manlier than the other is.
Weasel watches them fight, but is then distracted by the Fixer’s screams. He asks if he needs help, but Fixer says that everything is fine. The Phalanx baby then jumps and attaches itself to Fixer’s face. Weasel tries to pull it off him.
Outside, Deadpool gets up a moment before Alex does and uses his sword to keep Alex down.
Inside, Weasel tries to knock the alien baby out with a tennis racket, but hits Fixer instead. Deadpool then shoots the baby and grabs it. Weasel wonders what happened to Agent X and looks out of the window to see Agent X body with his intestines spelling out “Hello, Weasel.” Deadpool says that he knew Weasel would look.
Weasel appreciates the thought, but wants to know how long it will take the baby to heal. Deadpool answers that it will be quick and that they need to take the baby to Cable. Weasel points out that Deadpool forgot where he hid Cable. A random thought by Weasel and Fixer on Weasel’s undamaged Swiss clock makes Deadpool remember that he left Cable’s body at his cabin in Switzerland.
In Safehouse 14 in Switzerland, the Six Pack is frozen around Cable’s floating body, because Cable had telepathically pulled them into his own mind. His own mind is a cartoon-like version of Wonderland and the Six Pack are guests at his tea party. Cable apologizes to them for the way he treated them and is extremely happy and friendly to them all. He tells them that he is about to die and that he is happy to finally stop fighting.
When Domino asks if he’s not going to fight, Cable points out that he has been fighting his whole life. Cable then tells them that, sadly, they are all going to die as well when he dies. G.W. asks how they can escape. Cable answers that they have to hope Deadpool will save them. G.W. and the rest of the Six Pack are less than excited at the idea.
Deadpool and Fixer arrive at the safehouse, and Fixer promptly says that he can fix it. While Deadpool talks about redecorating, Fixer wonders about the Six Pack. Fixer goes to work and, inside Cable’s mind, a vortex is created that sucks in Cable. Cable wakes up and Fixer merges the Phalanx baby with Cable’s techno-organic body parts and notes that the Baby has a mind of its own, but since it is still an embryo Cable shouldn’t have too much problems dominating its mind.
Inside Cable’s mind, the baby is a gigantic monster. Domino tries to convince Cable to fight back, but he’s unwilling. He fought long enough in his mind. Outside Fixer notes that Cable is gaining control. Deadpool wonders if they can turn his metallic arm into something cool like a giant whisker or a spatula.
Agent X interrupts and tells Deadpool that he wants his pancreas back. Fixer asks Deadpool about it and he admits that while he took the sword to Agent X. He figured, since Alex had once taken a lot of his memories, he might as well take something back. He points out that both of them have a healing factor and Agent X has probably grown a new one by now. It’s all about the principle of the thing. Alex agrees: he is made of all bits and pieces and he wants to keep those bits and pieces.
Deadpool dares him to shoot, saying that he has an immolation charge on his harness rig. It will incinerate the pancreas if Alex shoots. Alex doesn’t believe it, because such a charge would incinerate Deadpool as well. Deadpool lectures Agent X on the proper use of burning harness rigs that have a failsafe release to prevent you from catching fire, flying into Kree-spaceships and blowing up; everybody knows that!
Agent X says that he will give up on his mission if he can get his pancreas back. Deadpool agrees and tries to find out if the US government hired Agent X. Agent X laughs at him. The Chinese and Roxxon are also failed guesses. Agent X gives him a hint: the people who hired him didn’t want Cable resurrected three days after his apparent death. Deadpool wonders if it is Mel Gibson.
Wade notes that Cable’s eye starts to glow again and Cable asks Deadpool to keep talking. His voice is probably the sweetest thing he has ever heard right now. The two of them exchange banter for a while, then Deadpool asks if the alien is tamed now. Cable confirms it. Deadpool wonders what is going to happen to the still unmoving Six Pack. Cable can’t read their minds, but doesn’t know if it is because his telepathy is gone or her mind. Both Fixer and Agent X are willing to take her home if her mind doesn’t return.
The Six Pack wakes up (and Constrictor immediately falls over, because either Deadpool or Agent have tied his tentacles tightly around him). Cable thanks Fixer and Deadpool. He then turns to Agent X and tells him to tell his employers that he is no threat to them. Agent X doubts that they will listen, but will relay the message. G.W. asks Cable what he will do now. Cable replies that he will go to a small island that may be very important one day.
One week later, Nick Fury asks Cable about the 2,000 immigrants Providence gets each day. Cable confirms that he will honor them all. Nick Fury keeps talking about Providence not being a country, so S.H.I.E.L.D. being unable to actually do anything about Providence for now - and Cable being lucky to be alive. Cable simply replies yes to each question. Nick Fury leaves with the advice to Cable not to push his buttons.
Irene tells Cable that S.H.I.E.L.D. could crush them if they wanted to, that he needs time to rest and show the world that he is not going to be trouble again. Finally, she asks if he is still going to keep pushing their buttons. Cable replies yes to all her questions as well.
Cable/ Nathan Dayspring Summers
Deadpool/ Wade Wilson
Agent X/Alex Hayden (Mercenary)
Weasel (Deadpool’s friend and confidant)
The Fixer/Norbert Ebersol (mechanical genius)
Alien baby of the Phalanx
Domino, Hammer, G.W. Bridge, Anaconda, Constrictor and Solo (The Six Pack)
Nick Fury (director of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Irene Merryweather (Cable’s friend and confidant)
The Phalanx Baby might be a Technarch baby instead (both alien races are very closely related) but the Technarch aren’t invaders and this baby was left after a failed invasion.
At Cable’s tea party, the cups and cans all have the faces of people in Cable’s life: Apocalypse, Deadpool, Stryfe, Zero, Cyclops and Rachel Summers can all be easily recognized. Others are possibly Anaconda, Rama-Tut and Bucky.
Deadpool’s comments about the harness rig are a joke about/comment on Hawkeye’s fate in Avengers Disassembled. Fabian Nicieza being the former writer of Hawkeye, he apparently still has a soft spot for the archer.
This Issue has been reprinted in:
Cable & Deadpool Vol. 2: The Burnt Offering (Trade Paperback)
Issue Summary written by: David Duijsings