Issue Date: October 2005
Story Title: Enema of the State: part 4: Bringing Up Baby
Staff: Fabian Nicieza (writer), Patrick Zircher (penciler) Udon’s M3TH (Inkers), Gotham (Colourist), V.C.’s Cory Petit (Letterer), Paul Mounts (colourist cover) Barber & Macchio (Consulting Editors), Nicole Wiley (editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)
Cable created by Rob Liefeld and Louise Simonson
Deadpool created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Nicieza
Deadpool returns from the House of M world with an infant version of Cable. The baby displays great powers of telekinesis and it takes some effort to catch him. By the time Deadpool catches him, Siryn and Cannonball teleport in. Cannonball wonders how the baby got there and Forge confirms that this baby is the real Cable. Furthermore, he theorizes that the Cable’s they met during their quest all had a certain essence, a part of Cable’s soul, within them. Forge explains that he can use the teleportation harness to reintegrate those parts within the fast-growing infant Cable to restore him to his old self. Unfortunately, this triggers Deadpool’s programming to kill Cable. Siryn points out to Deadpool that his actions make no sense: he has worked very hard to save Cable, so why would he kill him now? Deadpool questions himself and Forge scans him, finding out that somebody brainwashed him. The brainwashing turns out to be too strong to resist and Sam and Terry try to stop him, but in the end Deadpool stops himself by shooting himself in the head. When he wakes up, Cable is older again and talking. He uses his newly activated telepathy to find out that Black Box has done this to him and Sam and Terry gather manpower to do something about it. Cable tells Forge and Irene that he has the power to heal Deadpool if they restore him. Irene answers Cable that they don’t know what will happen to Cable or his powers when he grows up. Cable gives up his chance at a new life to cure Deadpool. Forge activates the harness to restore Cable’s memory. Sam and Terry have called in the rest of X-Force and invade Black Box’s base but, when Warpath punches Black Box, they only find an empty shell. Black Box has escaped. Back on Providence, Cable remembers everything and he uses his rapidly waning powers to cure Deadpool’s mind. Irene wonders what cured means, though. A few hours later, Cable and Deadpool leave Providence after saying goodbye to X-force and Irene. Deadpool explains to the X-Forcers that he is trying to get Cable laid and knows of a place in Pennsylvania that sounds perfect. Sam figures out what he means and tells him it is something else. Deadpool doesn’t listen and teleports both Cable and himself to Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Irene wonders again what cured means; Deadpool is still an idiot.
Returning from the House of M reality, Deadpool appears in Forge’s lab. Despite having a large hole in his torso, Deadpool jokes that this must be an alternate world exactly like his own and that the people in here must be the alternate Forge and Irene Merryweather, waiting for an alternate Deadpool on an alternate Providence. Irene corrects him and tells him they are the real thing. Deadpool wants proof. Irene calls Deadpool an idiot. Deadpool replies that he could be on any world and hear that.
Forge backs up Irene’s claim, but wonders how Deadpool could return without Cable like he programmed the harness to do. Deadpool complains that he didn’t have a manual for the harness nor any instructions. Forge retorts that Deadpool teleported away before he could give them. Deadpool doesn’t think that’s an excuse, as Forge should have expected Deadpool to do something stupid and rash.
He asks Forge if he can figure out what happened to the harness. Irene sees something and says they should figure out what happened to Cable. A surprised Irene and Forge look at an infant version of Cable who is calling “Ded-poo” his “da-da.”
Two minutes later, Deadpool is chasing the infant Cable, who is throwing around half the lab with his telekinesis. Deadpool is surprised at the baby’s speed and ability to run at all. “A minute ago, he was a bowling ball with floppy fleshy attachments and now… My god, those tiny legs move faster than they have any right to!”
Deadpool then notices how heavy the equipment is that Cable is throwing around. Forge is surprised that Cable is already telekinetic. Deadpool congratulates Forge for stating the obvious. Deadpool dives for the child and catches it. The child calls Deadpool his dada again. Deadpool jokes that he can’t keep track. He’s like an NBA player that way.
Irene tells them that they need to get the equipment back online. Deadpool mentally notes that Irene is like Dick Cheney to Cable’s George Bush. Forge wonders how long it is since Deadpool teleported in. Deadpool guesses a couple of minutes. It turns out to be three minutes, as Sam and Theresa teleport in, due to the three-minute delay. Deadpool catches Terry. She appreciates the catch, but isn’t so pleased with Deadpool’s hand sliding towards her rump and wants him to put her down. Deadpool thinks of their old relationship and puts her down.
Sam wonders how the baby got there. Deadpool explains that the baby is Cable, the real one. Forge uses a scanner and concludes that the baby’s genetic code is identical to Cable’s as stored in the teleportation matrix. Irene concludes that, after defeating the Skornn, Cable was reverted to a baby and dropped on an alternate world. Forge thinks it is more complicated. Irene was afraid it would be.
Forge explains that the baby also shows traces of every alternate reality the three teleported through. It means that Cable’s essence touched upon each world and left a part of himself on the alternate Cables. According to Siryn, this explains why each of the Cable’s felt like a part of the whole that they know. Deadpool concludes that Cable either lost or gave away those parts and was left an innocent baby.
Forge says that wouldn’t explain the age regression, but it would mean that Cable’s life force is incomplete without those parts. Deadpool refuses to go to any alternate worlds: “Days of Future Past was a classic, but it’s really all been done to death now.” Forge, Siryn, Sam and even baby Cable look at him like he’s nuts.
Forge thinks that he can filter the missing aspects of Cable from the teleportation harness, which should have absorbed them. Deadpool is impressed with Forge’s Geordi LaForge routine, but wonders if they are not wrong about the baby and the real Cable should need those aspects. Forge tells Wade that he is sure that the last world Wade visited was somehow their own Earth, but changed including the people on it. By activating the harness, the exact moment the world changed back, Deadpool took Cable out of that world and prevented the infant Cable from changing back to adult.
At this point, Deadpool reminds them that he had just a single reason to find Nathan: it was in order to kill him – and he points his gun at the baby. Terry tells him to put the gun down. Deadpool replies that he can’t: Nathan is the greatest threat known to mankind. Siryn doesn’t understand; a few months ago Deadpool risked his life to save Cable’s. Deadpool agrees with her and starts to question his own motives. He wonders why he would do so much to find Cable, just so that he could kill him. That would be stupid, even by his standards.
A quick scan by Forge reveals Black Box’s brainwashing. Deadpool thought the headache was caused by Forge’s techno-babble. Siryn tells Deadpool that he really doesn’t want to kill Cable but, if he tries, he has to shoot her as well. Deadpool tries to stop himself, but he can’t control it. Cannonball flies towards Deadpool, as Terry shields the baby with her body and uses a sonic scream. Deadpool does the only thing he can to solve the problem: he shoots himself in the head.
Deadpool wakes up again and sees a six-year old Cable standing near his bed. Cable tells the others that Deadpool is awake. Deadpool tells Cable that he’s so proud that Cable can talk. He learned to talk when he was six too. He warns Cable to get it out of his system as soon as possible, because sooner or later the women will take over and they will never shut up. Then he sees Irene. Irene asks Forge if they can remove his tongue. Forge asks “Physically or ethically?”
Sam tells Deadpool that they found out what was done to him, but they don’t know who did it. Siryn wonders why Deadpool can’t remember; he never had focus but he was not an amnesiac. She thinks he’s just faking. Deadpool tells her he’s not, he really can’t remember. Sam strangles him, but Irene tries logic. She asks him where he went after Cable kicked him off Providence. Cable looks at a silver cube that he’s holding telekinetically in front of him and tells the others “The Black Box.” Deadpool points out the box is silver. Sam tries to use more threats, but Cable stops them. He knows who brainwashed Deadpool.
Irene is surprised that Cable’s telepathy has activated yet. Forge isn’t: Cable’s entire metabolism has been activated. Deadpool just wants to know who did it and where he is. Sam tells Deadpool that he’s not going anywhere till Forge finds out a way to fix his head. Deadpool thinks that that could take years. Sam and Terry leave to make some calls, but Terry tells Wade that he should rest. They have the manpower to handle this. Deadpool tells her that he’s full of manpower and really can help. Forge points out that, if they release him, he will kill Cable. Deadpool admits that is so, but that he can help after that.
Cable tells the others that he has to help Deadpool. He asks Forge and Irene if he’s going to lose his powers. Irene and Forge are silent for a moment, then she replies. The answer is that they really don’t know. His new body could reject the techno-organic bodyparts or have his powers grow to dangerous levels again. Deadpool points out that that would probably mean that Cable would try the savior thing again and that would place him on Deadpool’s greatest threats to mankind list alongside Galactus and Simon Cowell.
Cable asks Forge if the harness would restore his memories as well. Forge answers that they should. Irene tells Cable that he doesn’t have to; he could be somebody new and different. Cable asks if there was something wrong with who he was. Irene doesn’t answer. Cable concludes that he’s the only one to help Deadpool and that he may lose his powers within a few hours. Deadpool replies he may not lose them and that would mean he has to kill him. Cable asks if he’s looking older than a moment ago. Deadpool admits that kids are growing so fast these days.
Forge asks Cable if he knows what he’s doing: telepathic and telekinetic surgery on a cellular level. Cable replies that he saw inside Deadpool’s mind and saw black spots. He knows that he can remove them. Deadpool tells Cable not to remove any black spots labeled Olsen Twins. Forge tells Cable that he was talking about the risk. Cable knows he was, but he has to do this.
Deadpool can hear everything from his bed. They take Cable upstairs and put him in the harness. Forge warns Cable that they will feed a lifetime of information into his brain. Irene isn’t sure about this. Forge is sure that it will work, but not that they should do it. In the end, he obeys Cable’s wishes and activates the machine. Downstairs, Deadpool hears Cable’s screams and they sound adult to him; the screams of a man who went through a lifetime of pain and he hopes that Sam and Terry have found Black Box for the deprogramming, because he likes the young Cable and doesn’t want to kill him.
In Black Box’s base in New Jersey, Black Box’s henchmen are knocked down around him by X-Force, but Black Box himself doesn’t seem impressed. Sam orders Warpath to take him down. Warpath punches Black Box, who doesn’t even attempt to avoid it, and knocks his head clean off. An empty armor remains. Sam tells X-Force that they are going to hunt down Black Box, whoever and wherever he is. Deadpool mentally sums up the members of X-Force and how he hates them all, but hopes that they succeed.
Back on Providence, Cable wakes up and tells Forge that he can remember everything. Irene asks Cable if he really thinks that Deadpool is worth all this; Cable loses a new lease on life for him. Cable responds that he has lost new leases on life for far less. Forge reminds Cable that Deadpool is a merciless killer. Cable tells him that he knows what it is to live with holes in his mind.
He floats up to Deadpool. Deadpool figures that healing him will burn out Cable and asks him not to do it; he isn’t worth it. Cable tells him he doesn’t mean that. Deadpool denies, but Cable can read his mind and sees that he just is afraid of what will happen. Cable warns Deadpool that this will hurt. Deadpool answers that he doesn’t feel a thing when the pain sets in and all his memories return. Cable falls down and Irene catches him. He tells her that it is now so quiet in his mind, but that Wade is cured. Irene wonders what cured means in this case.
Several hours later, X-Force has returned to Providence. Cable assures Sam that he’s fine. Rictor tells Cable that he kinda likes him this way: no powers and smaller than him. Cable dares him to take a shot. Irene wonders about Deadpool. Cable tells her that he’s still in the bathroom. Deadpool appears and tells they will now leave on a road trip. X-Force grabs their weapons or power up, but Deadpool tells them to relax; he has been deprogrammed.
He then asks Cable what one should do after he has visited alternate worlds, rescued his friend, changed his diapers and had a brain realignment. Cable suggests going to Disneyworld. Deadpool thinks of something even better. Cannonball doesn’t like the sound of this, but Deadpool reassures him that he is cured and proves it by calling him Cannonball instead of Cannonballs.
Cable tells Sam that he needs to talk to Wade. Wade has told him that there were some things he needed to do before he got too old. Deadpool whispers to Terry and Meltdown that every young hot-blooded male wants to do something and that twenty-something mercenaries want to do it as well. Terry wonders about that twenty-something statement. Deadpool tells her to shut up and that he heard of this place in Pennsylvania that sounds perfect.
Sam overhears him and sighs. It isn’t what Deadpool thinks it is, according to him. Deadpool doesn’t believe him even when Sam says that he has been there. Wade and Cable bodyslide out. Irene wonders what cured really means: Deadpool is still an idiot. Siryn is pleased that that hasn’t changed.
Deadpool and Cable arrive outside Intercourse, Pennsylvania. As they walk into town, Deadpool tells Cable about the time Fixer and himself fought Captain America in St. Louis and Captain America got exposed to a diarrheic agent and had to leave the fight…
Deadpool/ Wade Wilson
Cable/ Nathan Dayspring
Cannonball, Meltdown, Shatterstar, Siryn and Warpath (all X-Force)
NBA players, in recent years, have formed a reputation for having kids out of wedlock with multiple women.
Deadpool’s comment on Days of Future Past breaks the fourth wall of comics, citing the storyline, which first began in Uncanny X-Men #141-142 and has been revisited numerous times since.
Deadpool’s “Geordi LaForge” comment refers to the Stark Trek: the Next Generation character, who was the chief engineer on the USS Enterprise-D and was a technical genius.
Simon Cowell is a record producer and creator of the television shows “Pop Idol” and “American Idol.” He is famed for his biting wit and criticism.
Rictor is also supposed to be a member of X-Force and even has a line, but the artwork doesn’t show him when he’s speaking, just a text-balloon hanging in the air.
This Issue has been reprinted in:
Cable & Deadpool Vol. 3: The Human Race (Trade Paperback)
Issue Summary written by: David Duijsings