Betrayal Game #57: Agents of H.A.T.E.--GAME

Dirk Anger tapped his toe to the music provided by his new agents. Hell, if everything else went to pot, at least he could form them into some kind of pop act. Although, judging by Micromax's rather... kinky... lyrics, he had a horrible feeling that he might end up the Michael Hutchence of the group.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PETqyqDII0&feature=youtu.be

Edited by Savant - 26-Jul-2012 at 10:54am

ROUND THREE

In which our heroes find themselves progressing somewhat more quickly than anticipated...

“SHEILA! SHEILA!” cried out Dirk Anger. “As much as I'm enjoying the music, why hasn't anyone had the decency to point Destiny in the right direction of the audience? She's singing to a wall for Christ's sake!”

“Sir,” replied Sheila/Gladys, as she strained to make out what was being said to her via her earpiece. “The broccoli people in HR seem to think that the Blaire Protocols can be countermanded and should be done soon.”

“Good,” sighed Dirk. “I'm getting one of those headaches. You know. THOSE headaches.”

“You mean the ones where you fly into a homicidal rage and kill half of the staff?” asked Sheila/Gladys, suddenly wishing she was armed. The real Sheila HAD warned her that she might need a concealed gun. Damn.

“H.A.T.E CALLS IT DOWN-SIZING!” he bellowed, before slumping to the floor. Almost immediately as he did so, the disco ball retracted into the ceiling, and the gathered agents all snapped out of their musical frenzy and looked around at one another, completely embarrassed.

“That was fun!” cried Longshot. “Let's do it again!”

“NO,” called out everyone else.

“Yes. As oddly enjoyable as that was,” began Cerise. “I think if I were forced to sing and dance in front of people again, I may be forced to do violence.”

“I agree,” said Ant-Man raising his hand, whilst Domino, Karima and Micromax all nodded in assent too.

Sheila/Gladys stepped forward. “We'd like to announce that after your... erm... Performances... there are some dressing rooms set up so that you can freshen up before the next inevitable bit of weirdness that Nextwave inflict on us.”

“Great, I almost can't wait,” grumbled Lauren/Laura/Laurie/generic blue character.

“IT SPEAKS!” bellowed Dirk, recoiling in shock as the Smurf walked past him, glaring as she did so.

One of the HR department arrived in the Aeromarine cargo bay and led the agents away to their dressing rooms.

Thirty minutes later...

The agents were in their individual dressing rooms when they heard several loud banging noises from the vicinity of Domino's room, followed by Domino herself swearing loudly and the sounds of gun shots being fired. The remaining agents opened their dressing room doors and found that while there were several smoking holes in the door to Domino's dressing room, that she was completely unharmed, if slightly pissed off.

“Yeah, that's why I locked my door,” she snarled as she opened what was left of her door and stormed across the hallway and grabbed the handle of the door opposite her room, which belonged to Ant-Man, the majority of the rest of the agents following her in.

“Yeah, you!” Domino yelled at Ant-Man, who was clearly pretending not to hear her and was facing a different direction. “You pervert! I heard you trying to get into all the girl's rooms! What have you got to say for yourself?”

“Yeah!” called out Armor. “I mean... I heard him rattling door handles, but mine didn't get rattled...”

“It's probably because you're not very attractive and will be a virgin until death,” offered Longshot reassuringly.

“Someone tried to get into my room, too,” mentioned Dr Reyes, with Cerise and Destiny nodding in agreement too.

“Wait. I was the ONLY girl who he didn't try to hit on?” asked Armor sullenly.

“Unlucky,” smiled Mister Immortal.

“Okay, enough!” said Karima, taking charge, as she span around Ant-Man's revolving chair. “What do you have to say for-- Oh.”

Karima's sensors quickly detected that none of Domino's bullets had gone anywhere near O'Grady, the ammo imbedded into the walls... however, something had killed him. It was almost as if his flesh had been stripped from his bones with some kind of acid, although it was one that the Omega Sentinel hadn't seen before.

“Oh sh*t,” said Dr Reyes. “That must have been a really concentrated chemical to do so much damage so quickly... and there's not even a weird smell!”

“Alas, I see there has been a second death...” said Destiny, as she pushed her way through the crowd of people and headed towards a room right at the end of the corridor.

They opened the door and found the lifeless body of Transsonic. Dr Reyes knelt down to examine the body.

“Asphyixiated”, she said solemnly.

“Someone choked her?” asked Micromax.

“Oh please,” grunted Armor, rolling her eyes. “She's part of that new super-group with Hope. Chances are she just choked on her own self-importance.”

“There's no need to be so cruel,” scolded Longshot.

“No, actually, it seems she's right.” said Dr Reyes. “There's nothing else she could have choked on. It must have been her own self-importance.”

“Oh,” said Kylun. “I didn't think that was possible...”

“Says the cat-man with magic swords?” asked Cerise.

“Fair point,” said Kylun.

Meanwhile, aboard the Shockwave Rider...

“Could you keep it down?” grumbled The Captain. “I have a hangover...”

“SHUT UP, MEAT SACK!” screamed Aaron Stack, standing on the nannite remote.

“Great!” yelled Elsa. “Now look what you've done!”

Back with the Agents of H.A.T.E...

“Director Anger...” began Gladys/Sheila. “We have another situation...”

“Let me guess,” replied Dirk, the stress veins at his temples throbbing manically. “Someone activated the pension scheme.”

“How did you know?” asked Sheiladys.

“They all just marched into the cafeteria and started ordering prunes, cod-liver oil and sucking candy,” replied Dirk.

“So they've all...?”

“Aged to about 80 years old,” sighed Dirk. “Which I think means Destiny's actually got younger... Damn...”

This round you have all been aged to about 80 years old. Your goal this round is to find something completely arbitrary to complain about. Whomever's complaint makes me laugh the most, wins immunity.

Two deaths this round. Sorry, Gardien, but we waited for you last round too. Crawler, the killer just hates your face.

AGENTS OF H.A.T.E.

ARMOR- XXXXX

DR REYES- XXXXX XXX

LONGSHOT- X

OMEGA SENTINEL- XXXXX X

MICROMAX- XXXXX

CERISE- XXXXX

MR IMMORTAL- X

KYLUN- XXX

SLIPSTREAM- XXXXX

DOMINO- XXXXX XX

DESTINY- XXXX

Awww god damnit.. One minute I'm a singing bafoon the next I've got a prostate the size of a baseball!

Negh I don't give a crap..

Stupid Cameron stupid ..why'd ya have to think about.....

"Nurse, Im gonna need a need a change over here" yelled slipstream casually as Domino and Kylun shuffled themselves away from him as quickly as they could

Edited by Mastermind - 29-Jul-2012 at 2:26pm

“You know nothing of Bingo and nothing of battle!” Kylun furiously shook his fist at Miss Pink. His claws seemed longer, twisted, and gnarled. Arthritis burned through his joints and his fist continued to shake after he’d informed his brain to stop. “The palsy,” he muttered.

“Show me what warriors you are!” he shouted in a half roar. “When I was a great warrior, I lead armies against Necrom’s legions of despicable minions! We fought up hills, down hills, on mountains, sideways, vertical and horizontal! You ever been in a real battle, son?” He glanced sideways at everyone with his piercing golden eyes. “Have you truly trained in the ways of the warrior? Zz’ria rode me in the rain, the ice, the snow, and hellish heat of Ee’rath! I was skinning monsters before you could figure out the litter!”

“What do you know of the ways of the warrior? What have you done with your life?” Kylun asked those he was gathered with, though none seemed to pay him any mind.

“Nothing, that’s what. You’ve never lead a rebel army. You’ve never defeated a despotic overlord! You’ve certainly never rescued any princesses. Nothing. That’s what you’ve done.”

He still received no response. He looked down at his hands with their grotesque claws.

“Nurse, it’s time for my declaw!” he bellowed irritably. “Nurse? NURSE! DECLAW!” he screeched. “NUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOWWWWWWWR!”

(Votes: Domino and Karima)


Edited by Kipe - 30-Jul-2012 at 1:34am

"Seriously, how did you all get old?"

Cecilia was none to happy with how things were going. As if the constant murders weren't bad enough, but she was once again stuck in some super hero nightmare, this one filled with singing and D-List superheroes, she felt the frustration build. The accusatory eyes didn't help matters. Oh and then she AGED UNTIL SHE WAS 80!!!!

Getting hit on by a sleazeball was the last straw.

"If you don't step away from me now I could promise you, you're trip will be cut shorter then even if you could shrink."

Yes death threats might not have been the smartest move but she felt they were very much in order.

She was in no mood for this. She craving some Kick. She hated it. She hated this feeling. How could she let herself slip? How could everything go wrong at once?

And then came Karima's accusation. The rage inside Cecilia  boiled over. She couldn't help. All her emotions were on an upswing as it was.

"Really!? Really!?" she screamed throwing her hands in the air, "I give up. I seriously do!" She shook her head, frustration and anger etched across her face, "You're accusing me! I just...I can't even-" She huffed audibly.

"I've never wanted anything to do with your people. I don't delude myself with some superhero fantasy, I'm not some sad, self-sacrificing narcissist. I'm a doctor for God's sake. I don't want to be a hero. I want to save lives without feeling as I'm some arbiter of truth, justice and all that crap. But no, because I'm a mutant I'm stuck here! How is that fair? How is even of this fair!?" It wasn't! It just wasn't!

"I went to school for eight freaking years taking out thousands of dollars worth of student loans, so I could  be accused of murder by a bunch of people who even the Salt Lake Avengers would reject. It would be hard pressed to even get any of you a reality show on "E!", most of you people rate below a Kardashian."

Her eyes fell on Cersie, "I mean look at her. She looks like a reject from Showgirls. And you,"  she turned to Micromax, "You're the king of overcompensation and your codename sounds like a tiny maxipad."

She couldn't stop. The words were coming out, all he frustration and resent, everything feel she couldn't contain. She was on the defense, throwing everything she could at these people.

"And you, what the hell is the mullet!?" She screamed at Longshot, "I understand you had a relationship with a third rate Madonna but that doesn't excuse the trailer park hair Billy Ray."

"And speaking of 80's," she turned to Kylun, "The Thundercats called, you didn't make the squad again, but I'm sure Furry Con 2012 will take you."

She turned to Slipstream next, her nostrils flaring, "And what the hell are you even doing here? You were an X-Men for what, a week and half? Why are you even here? Toad is more of an X-Men then you are."

Yes, keep attacking them, try and make them feel bad about themselves. They were all against her. 

"And how dare you!" she pointed a finger at Karima, "You talk to me about 'back in your day', well back in my day Omega Sentinels were mass murdering machines. Also back in my dad, we knew better then to day a third rate Thunderbird because really, I worked on cadavers with more personality."

And finally she turned to Armor, "And while we are all accusing me, how come we aren't pointing a finger at Wolverine's latest victim. Who is more likely to kill them someone tried by that little Canadian beast. Maybe this is some cry for help."

She let a sigh of relief, her chest heaving, "So before you go accusing me, all of you take a look at yourself. I'm the only sane one here because I'm the only one here who has no desire to be a superhero, but no, NO, that can't happen. I can't just be left alone, because the freaking X-men came into my life and ruined everything."





Edited by XtremeOne1 - 30-Jul-2012 at 7:04pm

Mr. Immortal grew older and older, his appearance not altering a bit. At some point he collapsed, he just... collapsed, only to stand up again straight away.

Edited by MartijnB - 31-Jul-2012 at 10:13am

"Oh my," Ant-Man thinks, realizing that he is floating over his own body. "I've been killed, run through worse than a woman's inner goddess with a flesh ram."

The delayed reaction does not matter, though, as he notes that many others have joined the floating-ghosts-like-in-Stardust parade. His subconscious notes that this includes the nubile Transonic. With a sharp intake of breath, Ant-Man realizes that this means they could witness another murder. The thought is almost orgasmic, and he struggles to maintain his composure.

He has issues. Fifty issues, in fact. If he happened to be alive, he thinks he might have gone further with this.

Her eyes fell on Slipstream. They fell on his face. His face was pretty. And her eyes had fallen on it. On his face. Would he notice her face? Her face was not like his face. Now she was plain. Plain and clumsy, like her literary hero Bella Swan. She does a backflip, which she lands perfectly. Oh why was she so clumsy. And plain. Plainly clumsy. She felt alone, like she was by herself. One. One is a number.  She had only one heart, and it belonged to him. Him being Slipstream, who made her loins purr like a kitten. Purr purr.

Her body was on fire. It was hot. Like fire. Like really hot fire. Her inner goddess crave his manhood. Cecilia feels her inner goddess sigh with relief. She comes to the conclusion that her inner goddess rarely uses her brain to think, but another part of her anatomy*. 

Her desire was building up. Desire like fire. Fire like desire. Desire which is hot. Like fire.

She closes her eyes , feeling the build up...pushing her higher, higher into the castle in the sky.*

It was a pretty castle. Pretty like Slipstream's face.

Cecilia wanted to do things to him. Bad things. She wanted to be bad. Naughty bad. Badly naughty. Her inner goddess craved. Her lions were on fire, which meant they were hot.

 She gives him a dom gaze- cold, hard, sexy as hell, seven shades of sin one enticing look*

Her eyes fell on Armor, on her face, she wanted the girl to away so she could do naughty things. Bad naughty.

*Actual lines from the book....seriously.


Edited by XtremeOne1 - 02-Aug-2012 at 2:34am

I pushed the rather annoying fourth generation Kitty Pryde mutant infant away. The others were distracted by their endorphin, dopamine, and oxytocin increases. They neigh paid mind to the prancing Broccoli Men that were part of this sinister machination to take them out. They were all in heat.


I felt the heat alright. But it hardened my sword hands instead.
Leaping, frolicking Broccoli Men prancing about as Fencers.

I drew both blades...from their sheaths....

...and looked at Cerise. Cerise, my former comrade in arms.

Warrior Woman. Otherworldy. Otherworldy Warrior. Like me.

"Fancy a sword?" I asked her noticing she was without blade. Her nubile hand, alien fingered poetry, throbbed to grasp a blade.

She nodded in acceptance as I threw the sword and she caught it. She caught the sword in the air with quicksilver reflexes, bred...oh beautiful breeding...bred from her Warrior's genes...Warrior Woman.

We thrust
into battle with equal ferocity. Nancy prancing Broccoli Men and their Sabres and Foils. We take them on one by one.

She is dancing in the wind with her blade.
Wind Dancing Warrior Woman. Sometimes Light Dancing Warrior Woman.
She dances, she flourishes, she decapitates, she perries, she decapitates.

Oh Decapitation.

My Inner Man Warrior craves, lusts after, and craves decapitation.

I dance with her, but separate. I take my own foes. I take them down. I take them down so hard.

A Nancy Fancy Dancing Prancing Broccoli Man foolishly believes his Épée will grant him "right of way."

I show him my way. My way slices through leafy veins. My way is the hard way.

I look over my shoulder as I parry another oncoming Prancing Broccoli Man dancing slashing suitor.

Cerise the Light Dancing Wind Dancing Yet Still Somehow Clumsy Warrior Woman was dancing with my blade, pumping it, pulling it, in and out of broccoli flesh. She did not fight and thrust with just my sword, but her whole body. Her whole nubile body. Her whole nubile Warrior body. She used her fists, her feet, her elbows and knees, her head and teeth. Nothing was off limits to her. It was as is if her Inner Warrior Goddess permitted no inhibitions. She was uninhibited.

A blade nicks my neck, and for the first time I realize these Not So Nancy Broccoli Men are not using standard Olympic blades.

Poison.

I am poisoned.

They have poisoned me.

Poison like sticky sweet honey and Sa’Tneen's Inner Goddess Thighs.

I am poisoned and I am angered. I am unleashed. Unleashed like a lion. Who strangely don't wear leashes. Because they are men. Mostly women but men too.

I slash and hack with a fury, I thrust my blade into every available orifice.

I am Kylun, Rebel Warrior Leader of the Ee'rath Rebellion and former Lover of Sa'Tneen.

I am not Collin Mckay of the Parent's Basement.

I slaughter so many, they fall like pearlescent green dew drops. Pearls of my effort. Arcs of emerald goo spurt out as My Inner ManWarrior penetrates everything in a blind fury.

My Inner ManWarrior is reborn. I am Kylun.



[EDIT: My Inner ManWarrior forgot to vote. Micromax and Domino]

Edited by Kipe - 02-Aug-2012 at 10:56pm

Dear beloved one,

 

This is a story of me, Mister Immortal. I am a mister, and I am immortal. I have died, many times, for I am immortal.

 

And tonight, I died in your arms. I just died in your arms tonight. It must have been something you said, for you are a mute broccoli.

 

I have never been very fond of vegetables. They say they make you live longer. Living longer is the least of my concerns, for I am Mister Immortal. But then you came in my world. You were the tastiest broccoli I had ever seen. The moment I laid eyes on you, I couldn’t control my outer immortality any longer. The other Broccoli Men in the Olympic Stadium were jealous, as well as equally tasty. I couldn’t tell you apart, but I wanted only you, my vegetative deity. For us to have a glorious future together, we had to thrust through these hordes of delicious men first. We were fit young men on an all-weather running track, for we were well-trained, we weren’t very old, we were of the male gender, and we found ourselves in the Olympic Stadium. I grabbed my javelin and with a great throw I drilled through 5 Broccoli Men. This was a new Olympic Record, as the previous record holder only managed to spear 4 men with his javelin. I watched with glee as you, my beloved one, fought by my side as your saber knocked out 2 more Broccoli Men. We were a match made in heaven. Some of the remaining Broccoli Men choose the high ground of the stadium’s stands, thinking to be out of our reach, but our reach was longer than they had thought, for they thought our reach was shorter than it really was. I grabbed the pole that lay before me, by this time everyone was so aroused that it could have been everyone’s, but I am glad it was yours, my love. In a jump that will go down the history books of men’s pair pole vault, for it was a great jump, made by a pair of men, one of which is a broccoli, with a pole. The opposing Broccoli Men put up a good fight, for one by one they fell with ease. They were aroused, as were we, for all of us were aroused. At the climax of the battle, the scenery looked like a plate of broccoli with white sauce. Including my sauce, for the sauce was mine.

 

As the opposing Broccoli Men lay wasted, some of them still alive and smoking cigarettes, you lied in my arms, for you were positioned somewhere in the space between what is my left arm and my right arm. Both of us were mortally injured during the battle, for the injuries we sustained were mortal. Oh, we just died in each other’s arms tonight. It must have been some kind of kiss. We died in each other’s arms tonight, in this case both literally and metaphorically, although by the nature of this letter I shouldn’t admit I’m using metaphors, for I am not. By the time I came back to life you still lay dead in my arms, my broccoli in white sauce, I consumed you whole, together in death as we were in life, I will never forget you.

 

XXX,

 

Mister Immortal

 

(OOC, votes for Kylun and Domino)

Edited by MartijnB - 03-Aug-2012 at 3:24pm