Agent-X #13

Issue Date: 
November 2003
Story Title: 
Deadpool Walkin’ - part 1: Our Lives in Fracture

Gail Simone (writer), Alvin Lee & Udon (artists), Cory Petit (letterer), Andy Schmidt (asst. editor) Marc Sumerak (editor), Joe Quesada (chief), Bill Jemas (president)
With special thanks to: Buddy, Evan and Daniel

Brief Description: 

Alex wants to disband Agency X, but he hasn’t found the courage yet to tell Sandi, resulting in Taskmaster and Alex functioning as bodyguards for Higashi and Sandi on a date. They are attacked by two assassins and defeat them. At home, they find two persons in Sandi’s apartment: The Black Swan and Deadpool. Alex first reaction is to shoot Deadpool in the head.

Full Summary: 

On the Portuguese cargo ship, the Golfinho, a cloaked passenger is attacked by some drunken sailors, who are annoyed by the passenger’s refusal to speak. They pull out a knife and move to attack him, when a second passenger, wearing a red cloak and carrying a sword, comes to his defence. With a quick cut, he cuts of the fingers of the sailor with the knife and the sailors flee. The man with the sword complaints that he should have killed them but, somehow, he has grown a conscience, which he considers very inconvenient. He removes his hood and turns out to be the Black Swan.

In Alpine Park, Alex is moping about his life, just after an attack by various assassins whose bodies are now scattered around the park. He walks up to the sole survivor. He’s about to shoot the guy, when the guy starts to cry. He lets the guy go and tells him that he’ll charge his boss normal rate for all the men he sent against Alex. He then realizes that he has somehow grown a conscience, which he considers very inconvenient. He walks to the shooting tent, where Taskmaster is practicing. Taskmaster informs him that Sandi has found a job for them. Alex thanks Taskmaster for the help and asks what he heard. Taskmaster tells him that he heard about Alex sleeping with Sandi. Seeing how Taskmaster is Sandi’s ex-boyfriend, Alex asks him how he feels about it. Taskmaster replies that he’s fine but, when pressed, kicks Alex in the chest and points both shotguns at him. Taskmaster then tells him that the assignment is low pay, but they have other reasons to do it.

Sometime later, Alex is dressed in a chauffeur’s costume and complaining to Sandi that he will not work for him, pointing at Higashi, his former enemy. Sandi explains that he’s not there as a driver, but as a bodyguard and that, in this way, they could put the feud with the Four Winds, Higashi’s criminal cartel, behind them forever. Higashi further explains that by showing everybody else that they are working together that they are no longer an enemy and this way Higashi can show that he’s in a position of strength. Alex isn’t happy (mostly because Higashi is attracted to Sandi and is taking her out on a date). Taskmaster offers to drive, but Higashi prefers Alex as the driver.
During the ride, Alex tries to sell his new idea to Higashi: smell novels for dogs, but is then distracted when Higashi is touching Sandi’s legs.

Two girls on motorcycles, both dressed in bright colors and dressed as a bunny and a kitten appear next to them. One of them waves at Alex. Alex is thinking that she’s attracted to him, but Taskmaster and Higashi suspect foul play. She then attaches something to the hood of the car. It turns out to be a stuffed puppy with grenades attached to it. Alex climbs out of the window, while Taskmaster takes the wheel. He removes the puppy-bomb, but it explodes in his hand. The second cyclist then jumps with her motorcycle and kicks Alex in the face. Alex falls from the hood of the car, but Taskmaster grabs his arm and drags him along. The first Bunny-assassin has a sword now and moves in on Alex.

Inside the car, Higashi recognizes the assassins, they work for the Northern Wind faction. Sandi asks Taskmaster to do anything, but he’s too busy driving the car and asks Sandi to move to the front.

Outside the car, the Bunny assassin’s sword cuts Alex’s face and damages his glasses. Without his glasses, the lights of the second cycle blind him, but he can still see enough to see the second assassin point a pink Uzi at him.

By now, Sandi has taken over the wheel and Taskmaster leans out of the window and shoots at the assassin. Taskmaster then hits the brakes, the shock sends Alex rolling across the street and Taskmaster leaves the car. Taskmaster helps Alex up and activates his sonic shield. The assassins both attack and the fight ensues.

Twenty minutes later, Higashi’s car arrives at the Kenichi building, dragging the two motorbikes behind it. Higashi shows Kita, the leader of the Northern Wind, the two cycles and points at the trunk, from which the two assassins giggle and complain about their injuries.

Higashi tells the others to enjoy the party, while he talks to Kita. Alex thinks how perfect Higashi would be for Sandi and tells Sandi that she should go for him. Sandi then tells Alex to look at her dress: it’s his favourite color. She assures him that she has no regrets about what they did.

That evening, they return to Sandi’s apartment, but Taskmaster notices that the door has been messed with. He opens the door and sees the Black Swan. Taskmaster immediately pulls a gun on him. Alex is confused, he has no idea who Black Swan is. However, the Swan then introduces his friend, who removes his cloak, revealing the mask of Deadpool. Sandi and Taskmaster both are astonished; they thought Alex was Deadpool. Alex says nothing, but he shoots Deadpool in the head.

Characters Involved: 

Alex Hayden/Agent X (mercenary)

Sandi Brandenberg (secretary)

Taskmaster/ Toni Master (alias) (mercenary)

Deadpool/ Wade Wilson (mercenary)

Higashi (leader of the crime cartel the Four Winds)

The Black Swan (telepathic German assassin)

Two assassins, dressed as a bunny and a kitten.

Kita, (leader of the Northern Wind)

Story Notes: 

The first page, as usual, contains the events in the last issue in the style of Alex’s diary (or weblog in this case) and various other jokes, including the results of Alex marvel personality test: Modok.

The Black Swan tried to kill Deadpool in the final issues of Deadpool for botching one of his hits.

Higashi was an enemy of Agent X during the first six issues of the series, but they decided that a truce was better for the both of them.

Issue Information: 
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