Standing on a NYC Subway with Spider-Woman and Lockheed, Kitty Pryde complains about being dragged into the city on a school night, especially when Game of Thrones is on. Spider-Woman tells her that she tracked a very special piece of space metal for S.W.O.R.D. When the meteorite containing the metal fell to earth, it fell over the Urals in Russia and now the Russian Mafia intend to sell it to the highest bidder. She called in fellow S.W.O.R.D. agent, Lockheed, because as they learned on a previous mission together he can smell the metal. Spider-Woman refuses to give any other details, irking Kitty further. She hopes a nearby homeless person is Nick Fury in disguise so that both Jessica and Lockheed get busted for loose lips. Lockheed gets the scent and Kitty phases them through the Subway cart, wanting to find the metal quickly so she can go back home and pretend she’s the “Mother of Dragons.”
They arrive at the abandoned City Hall Subway Station to find a three-way brawl has already broke out to acquire the meteorite. Carl Kreel, The Absorbing Man, transformed into steel, swings his ball and chain at dozens of Hydra and A.I.M. agents. The trio immediately join the battle, making quick work of some A.I.M. agents with fire blasts and fists alike. Spider-Woman asks Kitty to keep the Absorbing Man away from the rock because the results would be unpredictable if he used his powers on it.
Admiring the design of the abandoned City Hall Subway station as she goes, Kitty makes her way to the case containing the meteorite, a glowing green rock. She phases the object just in time, causing Creel’s fist to go right through it. Kitty phases the rock into a nearby pillar and leaves it there. She tries to talk to Creel, asking why he wants the rock so badly. As he crushes the pillar with his ball and chain, he tells Kitty that he wants to find a new, more powerful, permanent form. As he’s about to pull the rock from the shattered pillar, Kitty phases his body, causing his fist to slide through the rock yet again.
Surprisingly, Kitty gives in to Creel’s plea and removes her hand, allowing Creed to touch the rock and absorb the meteorite’s properties. As Creel starts glowing green, Kitty tells him that he should really try absorbing a book instead.
Still busy beating up numerous A.I.M. agents, Spider-Woman and Lockheed question Kitty’s motive behind allowing Creel to touch the rock. Kitty assures them that the situation is under control but, when the Absorbing Man starts sending out green energy blasts to Hydra agents, Spider-Woman and Lockheed remain worried.
Phasing through Creel’s attacks, Kitty calmly begins to tell him about how much her powers have developed since learning she was a mutant. She is now able to do things such as talk and breathe while phasing. While claiming that Creel’s brain remains a sensitive piece of meat despite his absorption of the space metal, she phases her fingers gently into Creel’s skull, disrupting the alien metal blood flow to his brain. The Absorbing Man reverts to normal and collapses on the floor.
Spider-Woman applauds as Kitty begins to give orders to both Hydra and A.I.M. agents. Under supervision of the three heroes, the A.I.M. agents remove Creel’s body while the Hydra agents begin to clean up the trashed subway station.
A little while later, cops are escorting the numerous agents away in handcuffs while Spider-Woman places the rock back in its case. She thanks Kitty for her help and asks how she learned the technique she used on Creel. Kitty says it’s classified as she phases the Absorbing Man’s ball and chain into the ground. Sensing the tension between the two, Spider-Woman tells Kitty that she emits a pheromone that makes women uncomfortable around her. “Speaking of uncomfortable,” Kitty says. “Hey dragon! Who you going home with?” Lockheed simply smiles at the two lovingly.
While Hawkeye rambles about the incompetence of arrows against certain villains, Deadpool begins to question if Clint is going the right way. As they speed into Grand Central Station in a sleek car, Hawkeye assures that he’s pretty sure he knows the route as they drive down the steps and onto a NYC subway track. Driving headfirst into an oncoming train, Deadpool asks him again if he’s going the right way, to which Hawkeye replies with a sharp turn into a hidden path.
The car flies onto the scene of a hidden alcove where dozens of pirates are loading a submarine. “Now let’s go get our man!” Hawkeye says and both heroes agree that they’ll go berserk if the pirates laid a finger on the person they’re trying to rescue.
Much to the delight of Hawkeye, Deadpool whips out his own bow and arrow to use in honor of this particular team-up. The two heroes remark on how satisfying archery combat is as they take down countless pirates. Impressing Hawkeye even more, Deadpool uses his own trick arrows: arrows with the head of a Hulk fist that explodes upon impact. As Deadpool’s trick arrows fly, explosions erupt everywhere and the duo make their way into the submarine.
Deadpool quickly unleashes another trick arrow at some attacking pirates. Realizing that such an explosion would threaten them all in the airtight submarine, Hawkeye quickly yanks a nearby door shut, protecting them from the explosion. Deadpool tries to compliment his finesse and tries calling him Legolas, Hunger Games and even the “girl from Brave” but Hawkeye claims to have heard them all. He settles on the “fox version of Robin Hood” as the two finally find Captain Barracuda standing next to a man named Hector Herrera tied up to a chair.
After Deadpool interrupts the Captain while he’s speaking, Captain Barracuda slices his arm off with his glowing red blade. Hawkeye leaps into action and knocks both Captain Barracuda’s sword and gun out from his hands with his bow and arrow. Captain Barracuda pushes him away and reaches for The Horn of Proteus which will call upon the Lovecraftian horrors of the deepest alien oceans. Before he’s able to blow the horn, Deadpool sticks his disembodied arm into the horn and Hawkeye knocks the villain out with a solid punch.
They make their way back into Grand Central Station with Mr. Herrera, who agrees to have them both over for dinner that night. Hawkeye tells Deadpool that, with all the paperwork he’ll need to submit for the damages they caused, it’d be better if Steve and Tony didn’t know Deadpool was there. Deadpool agrees and says, despite not receiving credit, they both did really good work that day. Hawkeye holds one of Deadpool’s Hulk Hand trick arrows and promises to hit Hulk with one next time he gets out of control. Deadpool walks off as Hawkeye begins to talk to the press.
Later, Hawkeye sits across from a date at Hector’s, a Mexican restaurant, owned by Hector Herrera. Hector greets Clint personally and promises to treat him extra special tonight since he saved him from becoming a personal chef to a band of pirates. Clint tells his date that he’s known Hector since his first Taco Truck and he makes the best chimichangas around. “Everyone loves them,” Clint says as he points to Wade at a nearby table, donned in a sombrero and enjoying a plate of them as a waitress serves him even more.