Cable & Deadpool #2

Issue Date: 
June 2004
Story Title: 
If Looks Could Kill - part 2

Fabian Nicieza (writer), Mark Brooks and Shane Law with Chris Stevens (art), VC’s Cory Petit (letterer), Nicole Wiley & Andy Schmidt (assistant-editors), Tom Brevoort (editor), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher), Rob Liefeld (cover-art), Cable created by Rob Liefeld and Louise Simonson, Deadpool created by Rob Liefeld and Fabian Nicieza

Brief Description: 

Deadpool is about to fight Cable for the Façade-virus he was hired to retrieve but Cable simply blows up Deadpool’s head and leaves with the virus. On his way outside, he notices Hans Beimer, the head of the facility, who is now infected with the virus. Cable finds out that three anarchists have stolen the virus and infected themselves with it. The virus gives them shapeshifting powers but one of them is dying because of it. Cable tries to find them to destroy the virus. During his search, he finds the three, posing as celebrities, and asks Irene for info on them before he stops them. He then runs into Deadpool again and the encounter ends exactly the same as the first one. Cable flies off and finds one of the three anarchists, dying. The anarchist explains their plans of chaos and destruction. Cable can’t save him but he eases his pain. He then stops the second anarchist from killing other people. The third anarchist is also causing mass-destruction but Cable is capable of extracting the virus from her cells, saving her life. This process leaves Cable exhausted, though, and this time Deadpool shows up and shoots Cable.
He returns to the One World Church and hands over the Façade-virus to their leader.

Full Summary: 

Deadpool jokes about Cable’s name and wonders why Cable is looking so constipated. Cable then explodes Deadpool’s brain with his telekinetic power and walks towards the virus, noting that, by the time Deadpool’s regenerative powers have healed him, Cable will be far away. Guards enter and tell Cable to stop. Cable tells them that he’s there to help, but they don’t believe him and shoot at him. He stops their bullets and asks them if the virus was stored behind him, pointing at an empty container. He then dismantles their weapons and the guards run away.

There’s a complete chaos but Cable just stands, still thinking where the virus could be. He thinks back to the three persons whose mind he briefly glimpsed when entering. He sees Hans Beimer, the head of the facility lying on the floor, infected with the virus and nearly dying. Cable asks if his test with a human subject went out of control but Beimer replies that the virus was stolen. Cable tells him that the thieves could never escape, because the scanners in the facility could detect the virus if it was transported unless the scanners couldn’t see it. He then thinks back to the three persons and comes to a conclusion.

In an apartment in Frankfurt, one of those three persons is throwing up in a bucket, while another one is simply playing a computer game. Sour Kraut, the one throwing up, wonders why the others aren’t sick from the virus they swallowed. The other guy thinks it’s just his constitution and asks Go-Go, the girl in the bathroom, if everything is all right. Go-Go replies to T-5, the guy playing the computer game, that she is feeling good, but then notices that her face is malleable. She sees a Vanity Fair with a cover picture of Hillary Clinton lying on the floor.

T-5, whose real name is Tuatola, mocks Sour Kraut’s weakness and gives some exposition about their motives: they turn out to be three anarchists who know each other through the internet and they stole the virus because they didn’t want it to rob people of their individuality. Go-Go then enters looking like Hillary Clinton and wonders if Sunic knew that the virus could do this. T-5 thinks that they just labelled it as a virus and a weapon to scare people away and get a higher market value for it and that the internal memos he read all said that it could do this. Go-Go pushes a crate marked “Army Surplus” inside and tells them that they now should cause some trouble.

Floating above Frankfurt, Cable reads the thoughts of the entire city to find the three anarchists, and he finds three celebrities: a movie-star flirting with some of his female fans and basketballer, Yao, explaining politics to a couple of kids. He sees a TV program where an unexpected guest, Hillary Clinton, shows up to talk about ‘fascist US global policies.’

Cable calls Irene at the Daily Bugle and asks her to find some info on the anarchists called the Spammers. He tells her their Internet handles and names but hangs up because he has a visitor. The visitor turns out to be Deadpool, who wonders why Cable wants the virus. Cable explains that the virus could be very dangerous in the wrong hands. Deadpool wonders if that’s why he was watching the thieves who stole it. Deadpool tells Cable that his employer thinks the virus could be used for good, to change how people look. Cable wonders why that would be a good thing. Deadpool removes his mask and tells him that he would understand if he looked like him. Cable isn’t impressed, so Deadpool decides to go for the fight-option. Cable explodes Deadpool’s brain again.

By now, Sour Kraut, who was posing as the movie-star, is melting and ‘his’ female fans call the police. Cable enters, telling them that Minority Report was completely inaccurate and tells the girl to leave with a hotel worker who is a friend of his. Cable then asks Sour Kraut why he took the name, it seemed so unimaginative. Sour Kraut points out that it’s not written “Sauerkraut,” but “Sour Kraut.” Cable tells him that is even worse and asks him what their plan was.

Sour Kraut explains that their plot was to foment chaos and anarchy. Cable tells him to stop, because they never experienced real anarchy and they never will. When Gunther wonders if he’s going to stop them, Cable tells him that the virus will kill him within a minute. He asks Gunther what the others would do when this happens to them. Gunther replies “something bad.” Cable then eases his pain, while Gunter dies and extracts the virus from his body.

Shortly after that, T-5 has started to melt but he is not going to die as quietly as Gunther. He has a submachine gun and is shooting at everybody he sees, but his bullets stop in mid-air. He turns around and Cable is floating above him. Cable stops T-5 and asks him why he’s shooting innocents. T-5 replies that nobody is innocent and that they could have succeeded. Cable doubts this and quotes T-5’s own paper at him. T-5 is impressed but, by now the virus is killing him.

Characters Involved: 

Deadpool/Wade Wilson


Irene Merryweather (reporter at the Daily Bugle and friend of Cable)

Anton Kruch / Prime Minister of the One World Church

Hans Beimer (Head at the Sunic cooperation’s facility in Germany)

Gunter Herschein/Sour Kraut, Tuatola T’Tuana Timon/T-5 and Asahiri Aoki/Go-Go (The Spammers, group of anarchists)

Story Notes: 

The hotel worker is the mutant that Cable helped in Cable/Deadpool #1.

It can easily be assumed that the unexpected guest on the television talk show is Senator Hilly Rodham Clinton, as the author of the book being promoted is “Living History,” her book published earlier this year.

While the likeness bears little resemblance, the actor that Sour Kraut is trying to mimic is Tom Cruise, a fact that can be ascertained by the dialogue. First, the statement that he is working on a film where he plays a samurai porn star seems to be a swipe of Cruise film “the Last Samurai.” Further, when Cable enters his hotel room, the film that he states as inaccurate, “Minority Report,” is another Cruise film.

Deadpool’s soda of choice seems to be Mountainy Due, a whimsical parody of real-world soft drink Mountain Dew.

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