Deadpool (2nd series) #38

Issue Date: 
March 2000
Story Title: 
Johnny Handsome: Scene 1

Christopher Priest (writer), Paco Diaz (pencils), Mark McKenna (pencils), John Holdredge (inks), Sharpefront & PT (letters), Shannon Blanchard (colors), Ruben Diaz (editor), Bob Harras (editor-in-chief)

Brief Description: 

Wade becomes obsessed by trying to get over Loki’s curse, which has completely restored his face. Even though he’s pretty now, Wade hates it. His numerous attempts at killing himself always fail. Wade tries to get Siryn’s advice and calls her. But her voice still hasn’t healed completely, making it difficult for her to say anything on the phone. Wade, not realizing what’s going on, angrily stops the conversation. He decides to take a different approach, namely by visiting the Marquis Theater and go to the Death of a Salesman show. Even though the show is, according to Wade, full of lies, it still doesn’t kill him. When a young woman there recognizes him as the famous actor “Thom Cruz,” the entire public goes wild and try to have Wade for their own, with some girls even wanting his love child. He teleports into safety and makes it to the Hellhouse, hoping to get a decent job. He gets a new mission from Beef, the Hellhouse’s new field handler since Patch left, and has to rescue a kidnapped man from temple guards. Wade at first tries to let the guards destroy his face, but that plan fails. After defeating all of the guards, Wade tries to complete his job, but he gets spotted and the entire temple blows up. And he still remains unharmed. However, his costume does get damaged, so he decides to buy a new one. Still, since the costume is sold out and making one takes two weeks, Wade decides to buy a new living place underground. He finds a beautiful place and decides to take it, though it has one down-part: Deadpool becomes roommates with the Constrictor and Titania!

Full Summary: 

Yeah. That was more like it. It took Deadpool a while to get the folks properly motivated, but he finally has the attention of the temple guards. Though he had to slow them down to keep losing from them. While running for his life, Deadpool jokes that the quality of murderous legions has really gone down. Then again, it’s possible they really didn’t want to catch him, considering how he left the first dozen or so of temple guards he ran into. But, Wade knows that, for these guys, a glorious death was the high prize they had waited for all their lives. And Wade is more than willing to oblige. It took Wade a while, but he finally has the guards where he wanted them.

Standing on a grass hill, Deadpool takes out his sword and starts fighting the many temple guards. Wade jokingly remembers that he had to cut off the foot of the guards’ leader to get their attention. Wade recalls that he is only doing this as a last resort to escape Loki’s curse.

flashback moment…

Wade remembers his thoughts back at his room when he realized Loki had restored his face. He had blown all of his loot on a Handyman Special and, now that he had his beautiful face back, wanted to get out of his rattrap motel. Though at first, Wade didn’t want to admit this was Loki’s curse. He thought his image inducer must still be running. He looked for it, and turned the machine off. But his face was still pretty. Wade thought the machine was broken and smashed it apart. He joked he’ll just had Weasel make another one, after he managed to track him down. He decided to go make some toast, and as his face reflected on the device, Wade noticed that his face still looked normal, finally admitting what was going on.

Wade remembered Loki’s exact words to him were, “A curse upon thee! Let thy life fall into ruin until thou dost seek thy father’s forgiveness!” Wade tried smashing his head into the mirror in the hope to damage it, but no harm came to it. He realized that this could mean nothing but bad news. Wade admits he never understood how the scars on his face defined him, until they were gone. He decided to try out something else. He went back into the city and entered a high building. He made it to the roof, where he jumped off! Wade landed in the middle of the street, with lots of bystanders panicking and checking if he was alright. Wade, hoping his face was back like it used to be, joked he was must be looking worse than he was feeling. But, a businesswoman named Lulu Labelle, gave Wade a mirror and he noticed his face was still beautiful. Lulu agreed, and handed Wade over her card, wanting him to call her.

Wade became a little obsessed. He tried letting his face get smashed by letting a train drive over it, but that didn’t work. He stuck his head into a hot pizza oven, but still felt okay afterwards. He tried fighting a wild tiger at the zoo and have it maul him, but that plan failed as well. Wade was desperate not to let Loki win. After all he had been through, Wade’s dignity means more to him than anything else. But Loki’s magic was pretty much bulletproof. Wade even stuck his head into scientific poisons and lasers; simply nothing worked.

Out of ideas, Wade decided to seek advices from his loved ones. He visited the grave of Mercedes. Wade knew that she can’t hear him, mainly because Mercedes isn’t dead anymore. He found that ironic: Mercedes gets her life back and his gets stripped away. Which, Wade guessed, is pretty much what he had coming as how he turned out to be the guy who had killed Mercedes. But he sure wished that she were here right now. Wade hesitates. He corrects that he didn’t mean he wants Mercedes under the ground at the graveyard, but he gives up. He was just trying to find the right words and have something good to say, but stops, remembering that Mercedes wasn’t even his wife to begin with. He walked away.

Elsewhere, Siryn was busy at her computer, informing Warpath about the fact that she is feeling alright, despite her voice not having fully healed yet. The phone rings, and she picked it up. Wade didn’t hear Siryn’s weak voice, even though she tried calling out to him. Wade knew that he was probably the last person she wanted to talk to, but he just wanted to hear her. Theresa tried to tell Wade how good it was to hear his voice, but Wade simply didn’t hear her. He angrily told Siryn that he could hear her breathing, meaning she was there. He just wanted to hear something coming out of her, not caring if she just wanted to yell at him. Wade admitted he knows he’s a jerk, but thought that everybody deserves a second chance. Siryn tried to explain that she lost her voice. Wade, not hearing the soft voice, gave up. He angrily told Siryn that he was like a two-way street and didn’t want to go through the “silent routine.” Wade’s quarters run up, so he thanks her for nothing.

He got a better idea: visiting the Marquis Theater and go to the Death of a Salesman show. While at the movie theater, a young, blonde-haired woman starts screeching at him. Wade tries to enjoy the show, as it reminds him that people always lie, even when they are not on stage. The woman again screeches. Wade loses his patience and wants to know what he has to do to make her shut up.

The young woman freaks out, shouting throughout the entire movie theatre that world-famous actor Thom Cruz is in the room. Wade, at first not realizing the woman is mistaking him with Cruz, jokes that he loves that guy and wants to see him. The entire crowd goes wild and start rushing him, with some girls even shouting that they want to have his baby! Wade panics and teleports into safety.

He made it to the Hellhouse, where he met up with Beef hoping to get a new assignment. Beef wasn’t pleased to see Wade, remembering that during his last visit he almost trashed the place, causing Patch to quit his job. Beef gave Wade the job he is on now.

back to reality…

Deadpool angrily continues to battle the temple guards. 42,387 cuts on his face later, Wade triumphs, having defeated all of them. Though unfortunately, his face is still unscratched. Disappointed, he takes off his mask. One of the surviving temple guards recognizes his face and, almost out of breath, tells Mr. Cruz that he loves his work. He enters the temple to finish the job and rescue the man he is supposed to, but gets spotted by a security camera. A voice mentions that, since he doesn’t recognize Deadpool from anywhere, he can’t take the risk and blows the entire building up! Despite the huge explosion, Wade survives it, and his face is still pretty without a single scratch on it.


Deadpool angrily enters a costume shop and threatens the salesman. He reminds him that he bought his former uniform here years ago and now it has ripped. Wade doesn’t like this and demands a refund or, even better, a new costume. The salesman doesn’t remember what it looked like and asks for a picture or something. Wade shows the man a picture, with him in uniform imitating Elvis. Wade jokes that the picture is actually a love card he wants to send to his many friends, like Teresa, Mary, Al and Weasel. Though the salesman doesn’t understand why anyone would want to run around in a costume as silly as Deadpool’s, he can’t make it in any less time than two weeks.

Wade can’t wait that long, and threatens to kill the salesman if he doesn’t speed up. The salesman threatens back that if Wade kills him, he’ll have to walk around fighting crooks and heroes in his underoos. Wade gets the point, but he can’t just walk around in common civilian clothes. The salesman believes he might have a temporarily solution to that.

The salesman gives Wade a uniform, which sarcastically consists out of the head of Razorback, the body-half of Spider-Man and Wolverine’s boots! He makes an appointment with his partner Fang, so Wade can have a place to stay while he waits for the uniform. Fang gives Wade a tour around the gorgeous, underground apartment, mentioning that it has a lot of secret exits, central air and free parking. It will cost 22 thousand dollars per month, but that price includes utilities of course.

Fang shows Wade a statue he is proud of: namely one of Dr. Octopus fighting Spider-Man for the first time. Wade hates it and wants the statue to disappear, but Fang claims that isn’t possible. The bottom line to the tour is that there is even a gym, weapons storage place and lots of security attached to it. He shows Wade a study room and a parking lot, which has lots of multiple hidden exits around the city. The place even has a torture chamber. Wade gets brought to the kitchen, which has its own weapons cache. He gets to see his bedroom, which has motion-activated, voice-controlled zero-tolerance laser nets. It’s all very secure.

Wade isn’t much impressed at first, but agrees to buy it once he sees that the toilet has a cushy seat. Wade signs some papers to make sure he gets the place, but promises that if he’s being set up he’ll kill Fang. Fang smiles, hoping that “Mr. Cruz” will do that. He leaves and wishes him a good day, confident he’ll be happy here. Wade suddenly hears a noise in the kitchen. He stops Fang, demanding to know what that was. Fang smiles that it’s nothing to worry about; it’s just Wade’s new roommates.

Deadpool rushes to the kitchen, and surprisingly recognizes… the Constrictor and Titania?! Constrictor smiles, joking that it has been a while since he and Wade last saw each other. He thinks it’s about time they got acquainted.

Characters Involved: 


Siryn (X-Force)



Beef (new Hellhouse field handler)

Lulu Labelle & various other citizens (all unnamed)
Fang and another, unnamed salesman

temple guards (all unnamed)

in Deadpool’s memories:


Story Notes: 

Loki, who claimed to be Deadpool’s long missing father, had cast a curse on Wade after he refused to believe him as seen last issue. The “curse” seemed to be restoring Deadpool’s face, which was previous the curse badly damaged thanks to his former cancer disease.

Mercedes was revealed alive in Deadpool (2nd series) #27. A full explanation about the exact connections between her, Deadpool and T-Ray can be found throughout Deadpool (2nd series) #32-33.

First appearance of Beef, the new field handler at the Hellhouse. He also reveals that Patch II, the former owner of the place, quit the job after Deadpool and T-Ray almost trashed in during their battle in Deadpool (2nd series) #32.

The unnamed salesman Wade tries to buy a new Deadpool costume from, earlier first appeared in Deadpool (2nd series) #36. The alternate costume Spider-Man briefly wore during the Spider-Man/Wolverine: High Tide one-shot, namely the “Die Spinne” costume, again makes a small cameo in this issue as Wade enters the shop. Fang is not to be confused with the Imperial Guards member, as the Fang in this issue is a human.

Razorback is a lesser-known mutant with the real name of Buford Hollis and first appeared in Peter Parker, the Spectacular Spider-Man (1st series) #12.

Constrictor and Deadpool know one another from their shared time as members of the Frightful Four, as seen in Deadpool (2nd series) #35. Titania is actually Mary MacPharren-Creel, who first appeared in Marvel Super-Heroes Secret Wars #3.

Issue Information: 
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