At the Baxter Building, Spider-Man, still nursing a wounded shoulder, asks Reed Richards how Deadpool is. Reed, who alongside the rest of the Fantastic Four, replies that he would normally use the term stable but…Spider-Man interrupts and apologizes. Reed tells him he doesn’t need to apologize but tells Spider-Man to get him out of there.
The group is distracted by a gunshot and a cry of pain. They turn to see Deadpool hopping on one foot and holding the other as it bleeds. A smoking gun lies on the floor next to him and Spider-Man guesses that he was trying to shoot the gun with his feet. Reed yells to get him out of there and as they leave the Invisible Woman wonders how he got a gun in there.
In the bathroom of a hotel room, Spider-Man changes his costume over for a less damaged one. Deadpool yells to him from the bedroom and offers to hook him up with a Spider-cave. Spider-Man yells back that he doesn’t want one so Deadpool turns on the TV to see what’s on. Still in pain from his shoulder injury, Spider-Man tells him not to get too comfortable, because they are only there to change their clothes. He replaces his mask and walks into the bedroom and tells Deadpool he also doesn’t trust him as far as he can see him.
Deadpool asks him to explain the shooting for him. Spider-Man simply tells him that Hit-Monkey shot him, to which Deadpool exclaims that he did it with his feet. When Spider-Man tells him that Hit-Monkey was gone before he knew it, Deadpool says he is off to wherever it is he goes… which is good for New York, until he comes back of course.
Deadpool then wonders why he didn’t shoot Spider-Man. Spider-Man holds up his bandaged arm and says that Hit-Monkey did shoot him but Deadpool corrects him and says he didn’t do it on purpose. Thinking about it, Spider-Man realizes that it was an accident and Hit-Monkey seemed really sad about it. When Deadpool comments that it’s weird, Spider-Man tells him that it’s not. Unlike him, most people would feel regret shooting someone.
Getting slightly annoyed, Deadpool tells Spider-Man that, unlike him, most people would be dead right now because that’s what happens when Hit-Monkey shoots you. As Spider-Man thinks about what Deadpool just said, the merc turns around and heads into the bathroom. He closes the door and shouts to Spider-Man and tells him that, since they are partners, he will warn him about what’s about to happen. Spider-man quickly yells for him to open the window, to which Deadpool replies that he was going to do that anyway. He tries to continue to tell Spider-Man what he is about to do but Spider-Man shouts back that he doesn’t want to hear about it and covers his ears. Giving up, Deadpool tells him not to say he didn’t try to warn him.
A little while later, Spider-Man is pacing around the hotel room and looks at a clock on the coffee table. He knocks on the bathroom door and tells Deadpool they have to go. Not getting a reply, he opens the door and covers his nose due to the smell. He suddenly realizes Deadpool is gone and he’s taken the costume he took off earlier.
(The Next Morning)
Peter, now in his civilian clothing, is stood in front of a newsstand with a crowd of other people. They are all reading the Front Line newspaper with reads the headline “Our hero falls. Spider-man dies.” Under his breath, Peter says that he can’t say Deadpool didn’t try to warn him.
A female news anchor sitting in the studio addresses the cameras. She says New York is in mourning after waking up to hear that their beloved Spider-Man has died of gunshot wounds in Bellevue Hospital. She goes on and says that many New Yorkers are having a hard time believing that such a great hero would come to this end, and that he would succumb to the same dangers of the city that the rest of us contend with. Yet there are those, herself included, that believe that such a death exemplifies the life of the city’s hero. She says that he was a man of flesh and blood who stood fast against the inexorable tide of crime and violence that taints the great city. A tide, which after so many years of brave defiance finally overtook him. With that the newsreader wipes a tear away from her eye and apologizes to the viewers.
She continues and says that it was reported that the wounded Spider-Man walked into Bellevue Hospital at around 1 am, bleeding profusely from a gunshot wound to the shoulder. Hospital staff took him immediately to the E.R. but the bullet had entered through his shoulder and lodged near his heart. At 01:23 am he was pronounced dead.
Outside Bellevue Hospital, a man in a suit stands at a podium and addresses a crowd of reporters. He says he has prepared statement. Reading from a piece of paper, he begins and says that there is little doubt that the man in question was Spider-Man; the medical finding revealed the man to be more than human. A reporter yells out and asks who Spider-Man was and if they found out his civilian identity. Another reporter shouts out and asks if they have seen his face. The man at the podium continues and says that they removed his mask during surgery but after the pronouncement a note was found in his costume. He reads the bloodstained note to the crowd. The note asks that if he dies then he would like to be buried in costume. By revealing his identity, it would endanger the lives of his family and everyone he loves.
Meanwhile, Peter gets on the phone to Reed Richards. After assuring him he is alive, he says the best way to find out what happened will be at his funeral.
(The Next Day)
A casket with the Spider-Man logo on it and draped in the American flag sits in a spacious function room. The casket is guarded by police officers and a large crowd of people stands around talking to each other in small groups. Among the crowd is Peter, who is slightly amazed by the turnout. His boss slaps him on his injured shoulder, causing him to let out a groan of pain. He tells him to get lots of crowd shots and, if he finds a kid crying, then it will guarantee him the front page. Before he can do anything, the crowd all looks towards the door and let out a gasp. Holding his shoulder, Peter looks too, amazed by what he sees. The crowd of people part as Hit-Monkey, still dressed in a suit, walks through them. His boss asks who brought a monkey to the funeral.
Hit-Monkey walks past Peter and up to the casket. Peter starts repeating “oh-no” again and again, realizing what is about to happen. He shouts “GUN” as loud as he can, which causes everyone to start running and the police to leap into action. One of the policemen asks the other how a gun got through the metal detector. Deadpool’s voice suddenly comes from behind him and tells him it was easy… he didn’t go through the metal detector. The policeman spins around to see Deadpool emerge from the casket, holding two huge guns and dressed in his usual costume. Deadpool asks the officers to arrest the monkey.
Deadpool’s inner voices marvel that they actually did it. They followed the rules and everything and now they are a hero. Deadpool says this might be the proudest moment of his life. However, before he can finish, the officers point their guns at him and demand he drops his weapons. A confused Deadpool tells them they got it wrong and he is the good guy. As Hit-Monkey innocently looks on, Deadpool says that it’s the monkey they need to worry about. “Yeah right” one of the officers mutters with a sly smile on his face. Hit-Monkey, however, leaps up and with a few punches and kicks, knocks the two policemen out. They drop their guns but before they hit the floor Hit-Monkey grabs them.
Deadpool’s inner voices say that no-one can tell them they didn’t try and they gave it their best shot. Pointing a gun at Hit-Monkey, Deadpool says not yet they haven’t. Before he can shoot, Spider-Man grabs him and tells him that they agreed… no killing. Spider-Man angrily asks him about faking his death and asks if he knows how much damage he has done to the city and his family. Just as Deadpool says no, both men are shot at. They take cover behind some chairs as Spider-Man takes one of Deadpool’s guns. Spider-Man tells Deadpool to go right and draw the fire. Deadpool demands his gun back, to which Spider-Man obliges. However, he has bent the barrel of the weapon, making it useless. Deadpool tells him the jokes on him, as he has another. However, when he looks the other gun, its barrel has also been bent.
Deadpool starts running as Hit-Monkey sprays the area with bullets. He dives for cover between some chairs but Hit-Monkey lands on one of them and points his guns right at Deadpool. Before Hit-Monkey can let off a shot, two webs hit the guns and yank the monkey into the air. Hit-Monkey screeches and is slammed into the wall. He drops the guns and falls to the floor, holding his shoulder. He scowls as Spider-Man approaches and says they aren’t going to hurt him.
Deadpool asks what he is waiting for and tells Spider-Man to web him up. Spider-Man looks at the monkey and says that it’s inhuman. Deadpool says that it’s a killer but Spider-Man points out that so is he. Deadpool starts to protest but then looks at Hit-Monkey and, after a few seconds, realizes that he is right. They aren’t so different. Both are trapped, compelled by forces they don’t understand to do the things they do. They weren’t born this way… it’s just the way they ended up.
Deadpool crouches down to Hit-Monkey and tells him he is trying to change himself and maybe if he can do it then so can Hit-Monkey. Deadpool leans in close and puts a hand on Hit-Monkey’s shoulder and looks for a response. However, Hit-Monkey lurches forward, bites Deadpool face and grabs one of his guns. Both men fall back a bit and point the guns at each other. An alarmed Spider-Man yells for them to stop and tells them that if they pull the trigger then the guns will blow up and they will both be killed. Hit-Monkey and Deadpool stare at each other for a few seconds until Deadpool decides to pull his trigger. This causes an explosion and the two assassins are blown backward.
Spider-Man instinctively leaps onto a wall and then drops down once the dust has settled. He approaches Deadpool’s bleeding body as four policemen enter the room. Stunned, they comment on Spider-Man being alive. Spider-Man confirms it but then gestures to Deadpool and says that he isn’t. “Who cares?” asks the policeman and, with that, Spider-Man is led outside on the shoulders of the policeman to meet the delighted onlookers.
(Rikers Island Prison, Four Hours Later)
Deadpool is sitting on the bed in a stone-walled prison cell. Spider-Man approaches the window, which has metal bars in it. Deadpool tells him that he is going to bust out of there, it’s only a matter of when. Spider-Man asks how about now and rips the window out the wall. Deadpool tells him he is going to get into trouble for that but Spider-Man tells him that he will. He then tells Deadpool to get out of New York City and to take the psychotic monkey with him.
Deadpool asks if they found the body and Spider-Man replies that it was gone and he wants him gone too. Deadpool says that it’s ironic that the city would let Spider-Man get away with murder but they would never give Deadpool credit for walking an old lady across the street. He goes on and says that he never assumed the whole hero thing would be easy but he didn’t realize it would be impossible… for him at least.
Spider-Man starts patronizing him and mimics Deadpool, saying he is a lonely and misunderstood freak of nature and nobody loves him. Deadpool is taken aback and say that was cruel. Spider-Man tells him he was talking about himself, that’s what he used to be like. He’s been where Deadpool is and could have been him, it would have been easy. Deadpool asks Spider-Man if he thinks being him is easy to which Spider-Man tells him it’s easy to be what you are but harder to be what you want to be. Deadpool tells him he just wants to be the good guy.
As Spider-Man swings away, he tells Deadpool that he wants people to love him for being the good guy… it’s not the same thing. Deadpool thinks about what Spider-Man just said and decides that it is the same thing.