As a naked Deadpool relaxes in a Jacuzzi, he remarks how perfect it is. Death steps into the soapy water and she tells him that it is all a dream. He hands her a glass of wine and says that it’s a dream that going to come true. When she asks him how, he tells her not to worry as he has it all under control. Leaning in close to her, he tells her it’s happening for real, maybe not now but soon.
In the real world, Deadpool is sat in a tin bath full of water outside a camper van which is parked in the desert. A gun lies next to him and the water in the tub is red after he blew his brains out.
(outside Vancouver, BC, 9 days ago)
Whilst drinking a beer, Wolverine tells Deadpool it can’t be done. The merc, chomping on some crisps, tries to bargain with him and tells him there must be something that can get the job done. Wolverine sits back and tells him there isn’t, not without… He trails off but Deadpool presses for him to tell him more.
Wolverine stands up and begins to walk out of the pub. Deadpool says that Wolverine owes him after using him to find his kid as well as recruiting him as part of another plan. Deadpool suddenly has an epiphany and realizes what he needs to do. Wolverine twigs at what Deadpool is thinking and unsheathes his claws to threaten him. He tells Deadpool not to do it but the merc calmly asks if Wolverine is going to kill him. Wolverine sheathes his claws again, turns around and says that he won’t do it. Deadpool gets on a small motorbike and drives away, telling Wolverine that he won’t have a choice.
(Vladivostok, Russia, 5 days ago)
In the ally of a snowy and run down dock yard, Deadpool meets with two men. One of the men greets Deadpool and says they have brought the forklift like he asked for. Deadpool hands them a piece of paper and tells them that he wants as many of them as they can get. They look at the details on the papers and say that what he is asking for is difficult to obtain, as there are lots of restrictions. Deadpool opens a nearby storage container and says he completely understands. As the two men stare at a huge pile of cash in the container, Deadpool tells them this is why they brought the forklift. One of the men, in a dazed state, says that the delivery will be in three days.
(New Mexico, today)
As a pick-up truck drives through the dusty desert, Deadpool stands outside his camper van staring at it through a pair of binoculars. He focuses in on the driver, a middle-aged man wearing glasses, and jumps on his bike. He catches up with the truck at a small fuel station and comments to the man that he must be having a party given the amount of food he has in the back. He asks if the Hulk will be there, to which the man solemnly asks what Deadpool wants. The merc tells Bruce Banner that he just wants to go to the party but the man gets in his car and replies there isn’t one. As he drives off, Deadpool stares at him and muses that there will be.
In the truck, Bruce reels off a number of questions to himself concerning why Deadpool is there. He becomes alarmed when he realizes Deadpool confronted him but then let him drive off. Unbeknown to him there is a small nuclear bomb strapped to the underside of his truck, which Deadpool promptly detonates.
A little way off at an Air Force base, the soldiers detect the explosion.
Deadpool watches as a huge mushroom cloud rises into the sky in the distance. Amidst the cloud and the debris, something strikes him and sending him flying off his bike. When he picks himself up, he sees a very angry Hulk looming over him.
At the air base, a general speaks to the local senator over a computer monitor. The general tries to calm the irate senator down but fails to do so when he lets slip the Hulk is involved. He tries to explain the detonation occurred in a deserted area and the fallout will also be contained there. The senator starts to talk about the voters in the state but the general cuts him off. He says the voters will be told that it was detonated for testing purposes and an official government statement is going out as they speak. The senator finally calms down and asks if they have any idea as to who is responsible. The general sends over a satellite image taken a few minutes before that shows who they believe is responsible. Unfortunately, the senator is dismayed to see who is on the image.
Back in the desert, Hulk charges at Deadpool and shrugs off a barrage of bullets. In the fuel station, an old couple stares out the window at the scene. The man asks if their insurance premiums are paid up to which his wife confirms. He tells her they are moving to Florida and the two of them run out of the back door with suitcases in hand.
As Hulk uppercuts Deadpool, the merc’s inner voices say that they should probably talk smack about him to get him even more riled up. Instead, Deadpool takes out his katanas and jams them up the Hulk’s nostrils. As the green goliath opens his mouth, Deadpool rams as many grenades into it as possible. They explode, engulfing the Hulk’s head in a ball of flame. As the Hulk recovers from the blast, Deadpool leans in close to him, getting ready to be sent into oblivion.
To his surprise, however, the Hulk quietly tells him “no” and so Deadpool tries to goad him into smashing him. The Hulk says that whatever trap or plan Deadpool has, he won’t be charging into it like some crazed bull. He should go back to whoever hired him but Deadpool replies that no one has. The Hulk says it will make it easier to walk away but Deadpool points out that, if he knows who he is, then he knows he won’t give up until the Hulk does exactly what he wants him to.
The Hulk sneers at Deadpool and tells him he is a 2000-pound radioactive monster and he only does what he wants. Deadpool starts to taunt him but the Hulk flicks him into the air before he can finish. He eventually lands in a used car lot and, after crashing into a car, he collapses on the ground. Taking out the detonation device again, he plugs it into a phone. He dials a number and a bag near the Hulk starts ringing. The Hulk opens it up to find another nuclear bomb and a letter from Deadpool, explaining he has a lot more where that came from. Deadpool blows up the Hulk again and sits calmly as the infuriated Hulk crashes through the car lot, ready to smash him.