The Negative Zone:
(If you know anyone from here, you’ve made a huge life mistake somewhere):
On a throne sits its self-styled ruler, Annihilus. He is joined by a holographic transmission of the Brood Queen, who observes that their secret gathering of the kings and queens of the galaxy seems to be missing some key figures. Where is everyone else?
Annihilus recounts it’s just the two of them. King J’son of Spartax has been removed from his throne. The Supreme Intelligence of the Kree has been destroyed with his home planet. Gladiator of the Shi’ar has decided to ignore the invitation. And he does not and never will trust the Chitauri. So it is just them. Interesting turn of events, the Brood Queen muses. So, the galaxy: how shall they split it up? Annihilus begins to grin.
The Milky Way
(home to a lot of things. Including you and your stuff):
Ben Grimm aka the Thing soars through space deciding he needed this. This feels right. This is what he always wanted, anyhow. This was the original life goal. He wanted to be out here. He trained his whole life to pilot a ship out here. Not his fault, God or Galactus or whoever had a different plan. A little Fantastic Four detour, but he’s here now. And call him crazy – everyone has – but he’s loving it. Except the one thing: everyone out here is trying to kill him.
With his blaster, he faces a Chitauri spaceship. The Chitauri aboard recognize him as one of Earth’s Fantastic Four. And he has declared war on the Chitauri by stealing form them. The captain gives orders to strike him dead but he wants the head as a trophy.
What took them so damn long? Ben suddenly asks and the Chitauri face the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy - Agent Venom, Drax, Groot, the new Star-lord (Kitty Pyde) and their leader Rocket Raccoon.
Kitty informs Ben they were waiting for him at the rendezvous point. This the rendezvous point, Ben insists. This isn’t even close to the rendezvous point, Rocket snarls. And why is he flying around with one of Rocket’s trademarked rocket packs? He told him he could, Ben reminds him. Not the good one! Rocket shouts.
Venom reminds them that they have more pressing issues. A swarm of Chitauri exits their ship to attack. They gonna do the thing? Rocket asks. Let’s do the thing, Kitty agrees.
The Chitauri elder gloats that this will be their greatest moment. The destruction of the Guardians.
What is this? the Thing asks, as Kitty propels herself toward the Chitauri. The thing, Rocket replies, as Kitty phases through the Chitauri, their blasters and finally through the ship, managing to destroy it.
As the other Guardians take care of the rest of the Chitauri, Agent Venom explains that, when Kitty phases through things, it disrupts technology. But why doesn’t she phase through her clothes? Rocket informs him that Venom is covered in alien goo and he doesn’t question why (to Flash’s face). Drax opines Kitty is a fine warrior. He likes her, too, Rocket agrees. He likes their new Star-Lord. Drax wonders how the old one fares. The fancy boy king? Rocket scoffs. He can keep kissin’ his furry grunton. On both sides.
Former Star-Lord and current king Peter Quill finds himself in boring trade negotiations and desperately wishes he were somewhere else. No wonder his dad went insane, he decides. He went insane by boredom. He decides that as king he should be able to leave. They all can kiss both sides of his saved grunton.
As he begin to get up, everyone stares. Is there something he’d like to say? Councilor Golgug asks. After an embarrassed silence, Peter replies he was going to step out for a minute. Step out to where? Golgug asks. When Peter has no reply, Golgug promises they will be done soon. Peter sits down again. Just another few hours, Golgug promises. As he can see here, military expenditures in the southern region account for more than 63 percent of the entire planet’s…
Inside the Guardians’ ship, the team is gathered around a small, metal object they liberated from the Chitauri. They argue whether or not to open it. It could be a bomb, Kitty points out. What if it’s cake? Rocket shoots back. How many cosmic artifacts of immeasurable cosmic import do they need to almost die from before they learn they live in a galaxy filled with cosmic artifacts of immeasurable cosmic import? Drax sighs. Gee, one Infinity Gauntlet and they all run crying for their mommies, Rockets snaps. ‘I am Groot,’ Groot points out. Rocket tells him to be quiet.
Ever wonder where the rest of it is? Ben asks and clarifies he means the Infinity Gauntlet. Where is the Infinity Suit of Armor and who is wearing it? And in a galaxy where that question is unanswered still, what are the Chitauri hiding? They look at each other then back away from the object.
Rocket still insists they need to open it. Kitty suggests they do it on an uninhabited moon. Why did they steal it, if they didn’t know what it was? Flash wonders. Because the Chitauri had it, and anything they have is bad news for others, Rocket explains.
They need to bring it to experts, Drax decides. Experts they can trust. Except they don’t know any! Rocket snarls. Experts? Ben asks. People they trust, Rocket clarifies. The Avengers! Flash shouts. He always says that, Rocket hisses. They ain’t going to Earth with something like this. Those monkeys still use paper to wipe their gugooli holes.
Kitty knows a place they can take it. Ain’t nothing coming to mind, Rocket replies. Kitty smiles and makes a ‘c’mon’ gesture. What? he gestures. She smiles more broadly. No. He turns away. Kitty begins to look angry. No! he snaps. She smirks triumphantly. No! he shouts. What is he missing? Flash wonders. I am Groot! Groot realizes happily. NO! Rocket spits.
In the Royal Gardens, a pink-tentacled alien tries to convince Peter of the advantages of a procreatic union between them. He needs to make his own mark on the galaxy, she presses. He should do that by procreating with her right now! Her arms capture him in an embrace as she promises to show him something from her planet’s population customs. She licks his face and he grimaces in disgust.
Cue for the Guardians to land. When they see the scene Rocket laughs and Kitty glares. Well, this is a surprise, Peter greets them. ‘I am Groot!’ Groot cries with open arms. Sure, he is happy to see him, Peter remarks, but the last time he saw them the other half of this motley crew told him to take his planet and shove it in his— Drax interrupt that it is good to see him. He looks heavy.
Peter greets Kitty who turns away, still pissed off by what she saw. Okay then, Peter asks as they bring the object. What’s this? It’s not his birthday (he thinks). It’s none of his business if they ask him, Rocket pouts. Flash translates that they took something off the Chitauri. And they don’t have the tech to see what’s inside without opening it. But if the open it and it’s the Infinity jockstrap, Ben remarks…
Peter promises to have the science council give it a look. Glogul worries it might be a Chitauri trap. A guard points to the sky, announcing they were followed. Rocket protests, then realizes there is indeed something in the sky falling fast.
The guards try to get Peter to safety but he seems to know something they don’t. He runs toward the site of impact, followed by the others, and together they find a badly beaten Gamora. She groans and apologizes. She tried to stop— it took all her power just to escape. The destroyer of worlds is here.
They look at who did that to Gamora, a tall, blue-skinned Kree woman floating above them.