Star-Lord and Kitty Pryde #3

Issue Date: 
November 2015
Story Title: 

Sam Humphries (writer), Alti Firmansyah (artist), Jessica Kohlinne (colorist), VC’s Joe Sabino (letterer), Yasmine Putri (cover), Kris Anka (variant cover), Christina Harrington (assistant editor), Jake Harris (editor), Mike Marts (executive editor), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (executive producer)

Brief Description: 

Star-Lord and Kitty have been tied up by Widget, who is obeying Gambit orders. Gambit taunts them but then leaves because he heard a strange noise. Kitty explains she cannot phase them through Widget’s metal tentacles, as Widget appears to be an alter ego of hers. This gives Peter the idea to serenade Widget, as all Kittys loves his singing. Impossibly, his plan works and, when Gambit returns, Peter and Kitty are free and ambush him. With the Longshot blades, Gambit still has an advantage over them. That is, until a strangely eccentric Emperor Doom shows up and takes him out. “Doom” reveals himself to be Drax, who followed Peter from the club. He leaves Gambit for the Thors to find. Later, Peter and Drax want to see the anomaly. Kitty shows them what turns out to be a raccoon tail and Peter is certain it belongs to his friend, Rocket Raccoon. Kitty relents and lets him keep it before she leaves. Peter and Drax realize they are out of a job and Peter toys with the thought of having Rocket Raccoon cloned.

Full Summary: 

The Doomenheim Museum, Manhattan:
Star-Lord and Kitty Pryde literally hang there as prisoners by Widget’s tentacles. As usual, they argue, in this case about whose fault this is while watched by Widget. Amused, Gambit the Collector informs them it’s both their fault.

Peter goes on arguing that they could be having pizza and ice cream together, if Kitty didn’t— Really? she snaps She could be back on her way to Doomgard, mission accomplished, if he hadn’t—

He can’t believe she fell for the old bait and switch, Gambit goads. What’s next? Made you look? Got your nose? Pull my finger? She got greedy. Her precious prize was with him the whole time.

On behalf of God Doom, Kitty orders Gambit to hand over the anomaly inside that bag for scientific study and—

Why such formalities? he grins. Does she not remember their time together in Higher Avalon? She’s tried everything to forget! she snarls. He’s got a new hideout in Egyptia he’d love to show her. She’d rather go to Greenland. Undeterred, he continues. This is so romantic: Her, him, she hanging upside down. He thinks he’s got a Spider-Man mask he could put on her…

Suddenly, there is a noise. Gambit orders Widget to stay and guard these two, while he goes to investigate.

Peter suggests this is their chance and asks if Kitty can’t phase them out. Won’t work, she explains. Widget is an analog of her, so her power won’t work on it. The whatnot is a whosit? he asks. Kitty explains that, when God Doom created the world, he allowed for multiple versions of the same person to exist in different domains. They share a quantum signature in their matter. Sometimes it creates strange side effects - their superhuman powers cancel each other out.

Peter has a plan and calls Widget over. He explains that his Kitty has a weakness: his singing. Kitty groans as Peter begins to sing “I know you,” though he alters the lyrics somewhat— But if I knnooow you I know what you’ll dooo. You’ll feee us at once ‘cause Gambit’s a creep. A total creeeeep!

Widget utterly falls for him and smacks Peter on the lips.

Sometime later, Gambit returns having found nothing but a tacky jacket. He finds only the smitten Widget, but the prisoners are gone. Gambit shouts at Widget. That moment, Peter literally gets the drop on him.

Kitty threatens him with her claws. This day has been coming, since the day he swiped the sword of Knight Crawler of New Avalon from under her nose. She’s gonna make him pay for every creepy one-liner he ever—

Not so fast, he smirks, Lady Luck. He energizes one of the Longshot blades and fires it at her. Kitty deflects it with her claws. It ricochets and hits Peter in the arm. Kitty is momentarily distracted. The blade returns and Gambit remarks they are lucky. They never miss.

Peter sighs that Rocket said there’d be days like this. Kitty orders him behind her. Oh, good idea. He’ll never get past the intangible girl. Does he want a matching cut on the other arm? Kitty snarls.

Gambit energizes both blades. He’ll miss her, he grins, but not much.

A towering shadowy figure behind him booms Halt! He is most displeased, Doom announces. How dare Gambit defile this shrine to his benevolence? He has earned the ire of Doom!

They are all aghast and Doom hits him. Kitty explains who she is and begs for mercy. Doom announces he is a grumpy god Doom. He will banish them to the Wall. Unless — the handsome young man woos him with a song. He does so love it when he sings. Drax takes off the mask and reveals himself.

He explains that, when they left the Quiet Room, he followed along. Like he said, no one roughs up the talent in his club and gets away with it. Is this good or bad? Kitty asks confused. It’s Drax! Peter cheers.

They leave for the park. Peter and Drax want to see the anomaly but Kitty refuses, explaining it’s top secret. Finally, they get her to open the bag. Kitty is confused, Drax is disgusted and Peter realizes it’s Rocket Raccoon’s tail. His little buddy. He heard a rumor his tail was fake but he didn’t have the guts to ask. Now he’s gone. He looks at his bracelet with the letters W.W.R.R.D. ‘What would Rocket Raccoon do?’ He’d give anything for one more drink with that stinker…

Peter’s memory:
He recalls them drinking at a bar. ‘Baby boo,’ Rocket told him, ‘no matter how bad things get, just keep swimming.’ Isn’t that from a movie? Peter asked. Rocket denied it.

Peter is still holding the tail to his face. Drax tells Kitty to give him a minute. He said that twenty minutes ago, she replies impatiently. What did he do with Gambit anyway?

He left him on the street and notified Doom’s thunder gestapo.

Gambit awakes, his head ringing, muttering ‘Cherie… crawdad… Carcosa.’
Behind him is an insulting drawing with the words Doom sux.
Several Thors stare at him angrily. He knows how this looks, he begins.
Beta Ray Bill informs him he has misspelled “sucks.” Another Thor adds that defiling the image of God Doom with a typo is punishable by death.

Drax explains to Kitty he is no fan of the Thors either, so he left Gambit with a little handicap… the Longshot blades. They’ll keep each other busy for a while.

Gambit reaches into his coat. Would they like to see his papers?

In the park, Kitty demands Peter hand the anomaly over. Sure, he sighs. Hand over the only thing left from his home planet or reality or whatever. Not to mention one of his best pals.

Awkwardly, Kitty replies he is not the only person far from home who will probably never see it again. He realizes she’s right and offers her the tail. Kitty sighs; she can’t believe she is doing this and tells him to keep it. He thanks her effusively, even as she warns him to never show it to anyone or she will find him. And please don’t do anything gross with it. One of them should be able to keep a piece of home. She’ll invent a cover story for Valeria.

So how did she like their date? he singsongs. This was not a date, Kitty snaps. Peter enumerates that they went to a fancy club, he got her pizza, they went to the park, they went to the museum, he sang her a song. Where he comes from, that’s a legendary date. Furiously, she grabs him by the lapels: She. Does. Not. Date! That said… she suddenly kisses him.

Admit that she fell for his heart of gold, he offers and is told ‘nope.’ She repeats that when he suggests his killer thief skills. She’s a sucker for puppy dog eyes and… well, he was right about the song. So she does have something in common with his Kitty, he decides. In another world, perhaps. In another galaxy, she laughs. Another universe, he offers. She phases into the sky as she tells him goodbye and asks him not to get himself killed out there.

He looks after her: How many Kittys does he have to lose? Peter Quill? Drax asks and Peter sheepishly admits his name is not Steve Rogers. He knew it from the first when Peter grabbed a microphone, Drax reveals. He’s seen Cap with the mutant gene. He’s seen one with wings. He’s seen one riding a bloody, red T-Rex… but never has he known a Captain America with a voice as smooth as his. So he still has a job at the club? Peter hopes. Drax points out he left the stage mid-song and Drax left the door unguarded. He thinks they are both out of a job.

Forget the club, Peter has some ideas and asks if he knows a good geneticist. He wants to clone the raccoon? Drax asks. He wants to clone an army of him! Drax believes that is the beginning of a beautiful friendship…

Characters Involved: 

Kitty Pryde (from the domain of Apocalypse)

Gambit the Collector

Black Bolt
Polaris, Strong Guy, Wolfsbane

Story Notes: 

Kitty talking about Doomgard is a mistake, as that is the home of the Thor Corps. The Foundation, on the other hand, is in Doomstadt.

Widget being an analogue of Kitty is kind of right, as explained in Excalibur (1st series) #66-67.

Gambit’s reference to a “Spider-Man mask” probably refers to the scene from the 2001 Spider-Man movie in which Toby McGuire’s Spider-Man kisses Kirsten Dunst’s Mary Jane Watson while hanging upside down.

Rocket’s “keep swimming” quote is probably from Finding Nemo.

Gambit mumbles about Carcosa. Originally a place from Robert Chambers’ collection The King in Yellow, this is more likely a reference to True Detective season 1

“The beginning of a beautiful friendship” is the classic last line from the movie Casablanca.

Star-Lord next appears in Guardians of Knowhere #4 before returning to the main series in issue #7.

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