Ultimates 2 #5

Issue Date: 
June 2005
Story Title: 
The Passion Play

Mark Millar (writer), Bryan Hitch (pencils), Paul Neary (inks), Larry Molinar with Laura Martin (colors), Chris Eliopoulos (letters), Jared Osborn (production), Nicole Wiley & John Barber (assistant editors), Nick Lowe (associate editor), Ralph Macchio (editor), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher)

SPECIAL THANKS TO: Joe Simon & Jack Kirby (creators of Captain America)

Brief Description: 

SHIELD soldiers try to bring Thor’s followers into safety, but they refuse to leave, especially nurse Jane Foster. Meanwhile, Thor’s pretty much outnumbered against the Ultimates and all of the Captains and has a hard time keeping up. After being hit by Captain America’s flamethrower, Quicksilver gets back up on his feet and moves into action, but gets taken out once more. Wanda becomes angry with Thor and wants to bring forth a reality in which Thor is a baby seal, but she gets punched down as well. The Black Widow attacks Thor alone, and gets taken out as well. However, she surprises Thor when she lies to him she was three months pregnant with Thor’s baby. Shocked, Thor stops fighting, giving Natasha the opportunity she wanted and fires Thor in his face with bullets. After a few more attacks, Thor angrily flies up into the sky, shouting at Loki to end his charade. Wanda and Pietro get back up on their feet, and Wanda lies to her brother that Thor really hurt her. Pietro, not allowing this to go unpunished, puts his speeding powers to the max. He jumps so high into the sky that he manages to reach Thor and take off his belt, which gave him his powers. The both of them fall down and Thor is finally defeated. SHIELD transports Thor to the cell Bruce Banner used to be in, where he gets taunted by his brother Gunnar. However, Gunnar reveals that there’s a traitor in the Ultimates, and also mocks Thor that he can’t defeat a foe who can shuffle with reality like him. Or, perhaps this is all going on in Thor’s head. Who knows? Later, Fury has a briefing with Iron Man, Captain America and Hawkeye and informs them something has come up in the Middle East.

Full Summary: 


Soldiers try to bring Thor’s followers into safety. One of the soldiers, Sparrow-hawk, reports to Eagle-one that they’ve got the “freaks” a mile from ground zero and that transport is good to go. The Ultimates are now clear to attack. Another soldier has the hardest time getting Jane into a truck and asks what’s the matter with her and the others. Jane refuses to get inside, as they won’t just walk away and leave Thor like this. The soldier reminds her that this is a superhuman situation. If she hangs around here, one of those things is going to fly straight through her.

Jane doesn’t think that matters. Thor is their leader and some of them came halfway around the world to hear what he has to say, and his people won’t turn their backs on him now. The soldiers don’t see what the folks can possibly do for Thor. Jane doesn’t know. Pray, she guesses. Just let him know that some of the humans still believe in him. As some of the followers start to pray, Jane walks back to Thor.

Meanwhile, Captain America has activated his flame throwers and fires it on Thor, catching him on fire! Cap orders to the other Captains to get Thor’s belt, as that’s the source of his powers. If they get the belt he won’t be able to whip up the storms.

Inside his plane, which has now landed on the ground, Sir Braddock worries that Captain America and Hawkeye are going to get crucified. Fury asks Braddock if he’s serious about that. Braddock explains that, as long as Thor’s wearing that belt they designed, he’s the most powerful superhuman on the face of the Earth. He still believes Fury should have used his Captains first.

Sir Braddock is correct. Though Thor has lost his hair due to the flames, he still manages to beat both Hawkeye and Rogers. Quicksilver, who was being carried into safety by SHIELD soldiers, wakes up and immediately runs back into battle. Gunnar notices something on his monitors moving towards the Ultimates, at five or six hundred miles an hour and getting faster and faster. Fury immediately suspects Quicksilver. Braddock asks Fury to order Quicksilver to go for the belt, as that’s their number one priority. Without the belt, Thor’s completely powerless.

Quicksilver rushes towards Thor, but he points his hammer at the young speedster and somehow manages to take him down. Captain Britain and Spain hit Thor, and Brian orders Wasp to go for it, now! Janet warns the boys to hold Thor tight, as she’s going in. She flies inside Thor’s mouth, remembering that a brain-freeze worked when they took down the Hulk. She doesn’t see a reason why it shouldn’t work again. Thor immediately closes his mouth when Janet flies in and threatens to swallow her, but she begs him not to do it.

Wanda sees that her brother has been taken down and tries to wake him up, but with no success. She angrily points her hands at Thor, telling him that there’s a reality out there where he’s a baby seal getting clubbed by a million Eskimos. She’s going to find that reality and bring it there.

Thor punches the two Captains off of him, taking them all out. Suddenly, he gets attacked by loud sounds waves coming from Iron Man. Tony tries to tell Thor he’s acting like a lunatic. He just needs to calm down and surrender. Thor and Iron Man fly up in the skies, and Thor asks Tony if he can’t see what they’re doing there. He claims that they’re trying to silence the conscience of the team. Iron Man mocks that’s probably because, that way, they can use the Ultimates in the Middle East. So they can be deployed in Asia or something. Tony has heard it all before, and it’s really getting old. He calls Thor a paranoid schizophrenic who needs psychiatric help.

Thor begs Tony to listen to him. He has to understand. He claims that Fury’s information was just Loki screwing with reality and that none of that stuff is real. Tony makes the waves coming out of his gloves stronger, apologizing to Thor, but he just doesn’t believe him. Thor is sorry too. He charges up his armor and hammer, and throws the hammer straight against Iron Man’s armor, causing him to fall down.

Natasha notices this and angrily slams into Thor’s back, causing them both to slam into the snow, which results can even be seen far back by Thor’s followers. Cap thinks that Natasha needs backup. He sends the other Captains in to assist, and warns them to keep Thor off balance so he doesn’t has a chance to summon up the lightning! With Brian taking the lead, the other Captains follow. Meanwhile, Cap helps Iron Man back up to his feet, and jokingly asks Tony if Natasha’s this violent back home. Tony jokes back she’s only that way when he asks her nicely.

Black Widow keeps punching Thor. As she kicks him in the face and holds him down, she asks if he knows what he hates about Thor and his hippie scum people. They grow up with everything in these woods and then they bite the hand that feeds them. She wonders if Thor knows who pays for all those welfare checks they draw. Natasha doesn’t notice that Thor summons his hammer back to him, which floats through the air right back into his hand. Thor uses it to punch Natasha away from him and slams her into the ground, telling her America can afford it.

Natasha starts to panic, wondering what Thor has done to her baby! Thor is stunned. Natasha reveals that she was three months pregnant, but she and Tony hadn’t tell anyone about it yet. Her stomach hurts so much, and can’t believe Thor did this to her. An ashamed Thor holds back and tries to apologize. Natasha quickly gets up and points her armored fists at Thor, and shoots bullets at him, calling him a sucker.

On that moment, Captain Britain and the others slam into Thor and warn Iron Man they’ve got him and has to hurry up. Iron Man flies towards the Captains, ordering them to hold Thor down as he’s coming in. He tells Natasha to bring the neuron scrambler on-line, as he’s going to microwave Thor’s brain. Thor makes it to the Captains and tells them to take Thor’s belt off, so they won’t have to fulfill his plan. Thor keeps struggling against this, and Tony asks him to stop doing that, so they won’t have to hurt him much.

Sparks fly through the eyes of Thor, who calls Tony and his friends traitors. Suddenly, a storm comes up above the heroes. Fury informs Tony about this. Tony thinks Thor’s almost out and that they’ll be finished in another second. Thor angrily lashes out and shouts “traitors! How dare you lay a hand on me!”

Quicksilver gets back up from the snow and thinks he’s got one more chance. He runs at top speed toward Thor, who has noticed Pietro and quickly strikes him with a thunderbolt. Thor uses his hammer to fly up into the sky, declaring that there won’t be any more chances. Captain America activates the communicator in his helmet to order everyone that he wants them all standing to group on Thor. He wants him nailed and he wants that belt. He asks Janet for a sit-rep, as he doesn’t know what she’s doing right now. Thor gets attacked by all of the Captains, but he hits them with lightning bolts again. He claims that he tried to explain and that what happens now is nobody’s fault but their own.

It starts to rain. Elsewhere in the woods, the soldiers try to escape in their truck, which gets almost smashed by a crashing tree! Luckily for them, Captain America notices this. He uses his strength to hold the tree up and saves all of the soldiers’ lives. Thor’s lightning bolts hit Fury’s plane, which explodes, causing his followers to run into safety. Thor shouts that he came here to save the world and all mankind’s done is try to crucify him. Below, Gunnar, Fury and the others have survived. They stare at Thor, and Gunnar thinks he’s going to kill them. He thinks they’re too late, as Thor is now completely super-ionized up there and that nothing can stop him now.

Wanda tends to her brother and keeps slapping his face for him to wake up. Pietro does, and Wanda tells him that he’s the only one who can do this. He’s the only one fast enough to snatch Thor’s belt off. Pietro disagrees, as he can’t even stand up anymore. Wanda lies to Pietro that Thor hurt her, explaining that she was trying to disable Thor and that he hit her with Captain Britain. Pietro is shocked to hear that. Wanda sarcastically smiles, lying that Thor really hurt her, asking Pietro if he has seen the size of that madman. He almost broke her nose. Pietro angrily glares at Thor.

Thor shouts at Loki that he’s going to die for this. He asks the trickster if he can hear him, because the charade he has created… ends! Meanwhile, Pietro rushes towards Thor, unnoticed by anyone. As lightning almost hits him, Pietro dodges it and jumps high up into the sky! Having jumped so high, Pietro reaches out to Thor’s belt and manages to take it off! Both Thor and Pietro fall down, and Pietro calls out to his team asking for someone to catch him, which gets done by Captain Britain. Thor starts to cry and calls out to his father. He lands into the snow, where he rolls and falls off a cliff. As he smacks on the ground, Thor barfs and pukes Janet back out, who isn’t amused by it. She coughs and notices Hawkeye standing in front of her. Clint, holding an arrow ready and awaits Cap’s word to fire. Cap, looking at the disappointed Thor, tells Hawkeye to take it easy as Thor’s done.

Later, at the Triskelion…

Thor has been jailed into Bruce Banner’s former glass cell. Gunnar stands in front of his brother and gloats him. Gunnar has been informed that this cell is pretty much the biggest one SHIELD’s got down here in the Holding Area. He knows it’s all a bit plain right now, but mentions that, once they’ve moved Thor’s stuff over there, he won’t even recognize the place. It’ll be his little home away from home. Thor doesn’t say anything. Gunnar asks Thor what’s the matter, smilingly asking if he’s angry with him or something. He reminds Thor he knows there’s no malice in what he’s done here. This is all just part of the game. This is what they always do.

Thor wants to know how Gunnar got in there, as he told the soldiers he didn’t want any visitors. Gunnar can’t believe Thor actually thinks he asked permission. He didn’t even have to use a door. He can step anywhere in this little three-dimensional realm Thor’s so found of as easily as Thor can take a walk in the park. Thor reveals that his father sent him there to save this world and that this isn’t a game they’re playing. This is a matter of life and death and Gunnar already had poor Banner killed with his pranks.

Gunnar grins that wasn’t him. He mentions to Thor that he knew he’d get to blame for that, but he really had absolutely nothing to do with outing Banner to the press. Gunnar whispers that between the two of them, the Ultimates have a wolf in the fold. Thor didn’t know that. Gunnar defends there’s a traitor in the Ultimates and one of these “super-soldiers” isn’t quite as noble as they seem. He thinks Thor will be surprised when he finds out who it is. They’re working for some friends of his and, together with what he has in mind, the next few months should be very entertaining. Thor calls out to security and Gunnar simply laughs.

A security guard, sitting behind a safety glass, asks Thor what’s up. Thor tells him there’s a man outside his cell. He knows the guard didn’t let him in but the man is standing right outside his cell. It’s his half-brother from Asgard! It’s Loki! The guard doesn’t see anyone. He tells Thor to get some sleep, and if he needs any help he’ll ask Doctor Brankin to come by with some tranquilizers. The guard continues to read his paper and calls Thor a lunatic.

Gunnar transforms into a talking snake and wraps himself around Thor’s neck. Gunnar, calling Thor “Odison,” states it must be so frustrating being teased by a foe who can shuffle reality like a pack of cards. On that moment, he disappears, joking that what if they’re right? What if this is just all in Thor’s head. He leaves Thor thinking, alone in his cell.

Above, Fury has a meeting with Tony, Cap and Hawkeye. Tony enters the room a little late. Nick as Tony how it’s going. He apologizes for getting him out in the middle of the night, but they’ve got themselves a little situation here. He also asks Tony how his neck is doing. Tony mentions it’s a little stiff down the left side, but the medics gave him some pretty decent painkillers. Nick smiles that’s cool, and asks Thor how he’s feeling about this whole Thor thing now. The Norwegian trip was tough on everybody, but Fury knows Tony and Thor were especially tight. He wants to know if Tony’s okay with the way things planned out.

Tony doesn’t think anybody was okay with it, but what else could they do? Thor was delusional. They had to stop him before he hurt himself more than anything else. Cap compliments Tony he did good out there. He made more of an impact than both him and Hawkeye combined. Clint doesn’t think Steve’s serious on that: he had a bow and arrow. They’d all have been great back there if somebody had given them a little Iron Man suit. Tony asks Nick what this meeting is all about. Fury gets an intense serious look on his face, stating they’ve got big problems. Something’s come up in the Middle East.

Characters Involved: 

Black Widow, Captain America, Hawkeye, Iron Man, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Wasp (all Ultimates)

Captain Britain

Sir James Braddock

Captain Spain, Captain France, Captain Italy


Nick Fury

Jane Fosters and various other loyal followers to Thor

Gunnar Golmen

several SHIELD soldiers (all unnamed)

Story Notes: 

More about the Ultimates’ adventures in the Middle East can be found in Ultimates Annual #1.

Issue Information: 
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