Uncanny X-Men (3rd series) #15

Issue Date: 
January 2014
Story Title: 

Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Kris Anka (art), Rain Beredo (colors), VC’s Joe Caramagna & Chris Eliopolous (letterer & production), Kris Anka (cover artist),Xander Jarowey (assistant editor), Jordan D. White (associate editor), Nick Lowe (editor), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (executive producer)

Brief Description: 

After a session with Dr. Strange in the past, Magik returns to the present, where the female students beset her, as they want to go shopping and don’t dare ask Emma directly. Actually, though, Emma is amenable and the one with the money. She also invites Kitty Pryde and they head for a girls’ night out in London. One shopping trip later, Jean Grey stands up to Celeste regarding her irrational dislike of Jean. The women follow an alert and find a teenager in a cocoon, which he soon leaves, transformed into an Inhuman. While they don’t know what to do with the mutaphobic new Inhuman, they are attacked by AIM, who abduct the new Inhuman. After that, the Emma declares girls’ night over.

Full Summary: 

The Sanctum Santorum of Dr. Strange, years ago:
Dr. Strange and Magik are in mediation, or at least Strange is. Illyana, he notices, has fallen asleep. Dasvidanya, bitches, she mumbles. He wakes her with a minor spell. Believing she is under attack, she goes for her Soulsword. Sternly, Strange informs her meditation that time is not nap time. Illyana apologizes. He tells her it’s okay and suggests she return to her own time for now.

She explains it’s been a stressful time for the X-Men. It’s better if he doesn’t know any more about the future. In her time, is the Earth still turning? he asks. Last time she left it was. That’s all he needs to know.

Is he still alive? His servant Wong asks. He doesn’t care about Strange, just him. Blink twice if it is a ‘yes’. Illyana smiles and teleports back to her own time.

Outside her room, the Stepford Cuckoos and Eva Bell are waiting and ask where she was. Illyana tells them it’s none of their business, being that she is the professor and they are the students. And if any of them try to read her mind, she will turn them into toads. Why are they all in her room?

Babbling, the girls finally explain that they don’t have any proper clothes or other necessities. Jean Grey walks past the door and Eva calls to her to come in. Celeste rolls her eyes. Eva and Irma explain thy need to get things. Oh God yes, Jean exclaims. She’s been wearing this since like 1963!

Illyana tells them to make a list. She’ll get the stuff. The girls look at her silently. Don’t judge them, Eva begins. They are all strong women, the Cuckoos continue. And? Illyana asks. They want to go shopping! Like normal people. So go shopping, Illyana smirks. Eva points out she needs to take them. Irma amends they want her to come along too. Girls’ night out.

Illyana suggests they ask Emma. They want Illyana to ask, since she is the nicer one, which surprises Illyana – plus Emma warned them never to wake her.

Illyana enters Emma’s room and they find her sleeping in a rather ridiculous position, her knees propping her up and her butt angled into the air. Out! she orders. However, when the girls explain they want to go shopping she agrees immediately. But they don’t know where to go and they don’t have any money, the Cuckoos explain. Emma opens a duffel bag full of cash and hands each of them a bundle. Is this hers, Jean asks Emma. They are a team, she replies. So it’s theirs. But it’s really hers. She reminds them she was the White Queen of the Hellfire Club, the most elite club in the world. She has money.

The girls argue about their destination. She has this, Emma announces and calls for Kitty Pryde to join them. Kitty asks if there is an emergency. Should he get the team? Cyclops asks. Not him, Emma announces. She informs Kitty they are going shopping. Kitty isn’t interested until Emma tells her she has been wearing that outfit since like 1980. She’s coming with them. Jean begs her not to leave her alone with the mean Stepford Sisters. They can hear her, Celeste bristles. She knows, Jean replies. Where are they going? Kitty sighs.

A shopping trip later at Piccadilly Circus, London. The Cuckoos announce they should do this any day they are not being attacked. Irma suggests they should have brought the guys. The others don’t see her point. Eva reminisces her last boyfriend and she broke up on a day like this. They have no place here. Kitty points out that’s sexist.

The girls decide they are starving and head for lunch. Kitty, Illyana, Eva and Jean are sitting in a booth, Emma and the Cucooks at the counter nearby. After the meal, Eva asks Jean why the Stepford sisters hate her. Because she’ll grow up to be something that intimidates them, she replies while the Cuckoos glare. Jean continues that Celeste thinks she is mad at her for that, even though she hasn’t grown up to become that yet.

They can hear her, Celeste snaps. She knows, Jean replies calmly and turns to her. Is she wrong? Celeste has a huuuge problem with her and it’s based on nothing she has done. She shouldn’t even be here! Celeste reproaches her. She was invited, Jean retorts. She means this time period, Celeste clarifies. She gets it, Jean replies. Celeste doesn’t care for her but her sisters like Jean and, if Celeste weren’t such a queen bee, they’d be sitting over here with them.

As sirens go off outside, Illyana muses that this is nice. They might kill each other and set off another mutant civil war, Kitty points out. Emma and the Cuckoos senses something wrong. The sirens come from the police cars racing by outside. Eva expresses her excitement at being an X-Man. You never know what’s going to happen next.

They see an agitated crowd. Celeste suggests making them go to sleep. Emma tells her to just disperse them gently. When Celeste argues, Jean volunteers.

They make their way to a cocoon. Jean tries to get a reading and finds the phrase global Terrigenesis. They see someone in there. Eva suggests Kitty phase him out. Kitty points out they don’t know why that is attached to him.

The Cuckoos pick up this is happening all over the world. They are calling it the Terrigen bomb. Like the Inhumans’ Terrigenesis? Illyana asks. What’s an Inhuman? Jean asks. Should they be afraid?

Suddenly, a young man with pointed ears and fleshy protrusions from his chin bursts out of the cocoon. He greets them confused. Irma reads that his name is Geldhoff. Ignoring his surprise, the Cuckoos continue that he is from Latveria and on a class trip.

Emma explains he was subjected to a biological transformation. Does he know what an Inhuman is? They discuss what to do and mention the word mutant. Geldhoff becomes agitated and groans that mutants are disgusting. What did they do to his friends?

The Cuckoos note he doesn’t react to their mental commands. Kitty tries to calm him. He lashes out and shouts at them to get out of his head. A shockwave bursts out from him, leveling the X-Men. Geldhoff sinks down as well.

A ship lands. It’s Dr. Rappaccini and her AIM crew. She orders her men to pack up the Nuhuman. Her assistant points out the presence of the mutant women. Rappaccini figures Geldhoff shut down their central nervous systems. Her assistant asks if they should take the mutants as well. Rappaccini isn’t interested. This Terrigenesis miracle is their calling. The secret to their true evolution. The future of the entire world is locked in these new specimens. And she’s reminded of what a very smart man told her: The best way to defeat mutants is to leave them be. Let them do it themselves.

They leave with Gedhoff.

Emma wakes up and has the Cuckoos send away the law enforcement. Emma sighs she declares girls’ night out over and ask Illyana to take them and their stuff home.

Irma suggests that, if there is a big uprising of Inhumans, that’s good for them. Maybe people will stop blaming mutants and start blaming Inhumans for some things. Yeah, because that’s how it works, Emma sighs. How will people know the difference? Kitty wonders and Emma fears their world got more complicated.

Characters Involved: 

Cyclops, Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde, Magik (X-Men based at the New Xavier School)
Stepford Cuckoos, Tempus (students)
Marvel Girl (time-displaced original X-Man)


Dr. Monica Rappaccini and other AIM agents

Piccadilly Square patrons & pedestrians

In the past
Dr. Strange

Written By: