(Somewhere near the Canadian/U.S. border - the past)
Special Agent Neil Langram smokes a cigarette as he waits for Logan to arrive. He works for a department so secret, even his own prime minister is unaware of its existence. It allows him to do his job without all the bother of bureaucratic red tape, and allows him into places to learn things that civilians could never fathom. Some things even he would rather not know.
Nervously, he continues to wait, thinking about how he’s lived with the secrets for too long. Someone has got to tell the world the truth. Tonight, he’s letting Logan, his partner, know exactly what he plans to do. Suddenly, a voice from the darkness tells him he’s looking tense; like he’s got a lot on his mind. Langram turns and pulls out his revolver. The stranger isn’t frightened of that. Langram realizes he’s been found out. He knew it would happen eventually, and he must warn Logan. Out of nowhere, his assailant strikes, slashing his stomach and causing huge amounts of bleeding. Neil looks down at all the blood, and collapses to the floor. His attacker tells him that this is what he gets for poking his nose in where it doesn’t belong. He isn’t the first, and he won’t be the last. His runt of a partner is going to be next. Logan and the stranger have a score to settle. Langram bleeds to death.
Meanwhile, Dr. Perry Edwards appears on a television program hosted by Patrick Hoolin. The show is Stranger than Strange, and Dr. Edwards is there to promote his book, entitled The Shadow Society. It’s a book which discusses the possibilities of a hidden society living amongst ordinary humans. They are beings of power and potential danger. Edwards calls them mutants.
Edwards contends that they may be no more dangerous then the person living next door to you, but the government has been hiding the existence of these powerful beings in order to exploit them for their own purposes. Hoolin asks for what purposes they serve. Edwards’ answer isn’t revealed. Hoolin then enquires about the possibility that these mutants come from another planet. Edwards dismisses this idea outright, and reminds Hoolin that the potential threat is very real, and everyone should be advised to be aware. Patrick Hoolin cuts to commercial break.
(later, Toronto)
In a rundown section of the city, Special Agent Carol Danvers is on an undercover operation. Her pseudonym this time is Ms. Daniels. It’s a joint operation with the Canadians. She carries a suitcase full of money, and enters a bar to meet with an arms dealer known as Mr. Preen. He uses the bar as his base of operations. His supply route takes his illegal arms through both American and Canadian soil, and he boasts that he can get any weapon for the right price. He is very rich, having traded with dictators and terrorists from all around the world. But, when all’s said and done, Carol thinks he’s nothing but a common thug; an extremely rich and bored one, but a thug just the same.
She meets him. His face is scarred down the right side from what looks like an acid burn. She opens the suitcase and reveals a large amount of cash inside. She asks if he would like to count it, or can they proceed. He asks her to call him Jacques. He tells Carol that she’s a beautiful woman, and so young for one in such a dangerous line of work. He asks her to bring the money, and they will reconvene in his showroom. He shall count it while she peruses the merchandise. She will not be disappointed.
They head outside along with Preen’s bodyguards, and head off to the showroom. He asks if her clients are international freedom fighters. Carol doesn’t divulge this information. He asks if she’s from the eastern part of the States but, again, Carol isn’t giving much away. Preen doesn’t know much about her, but there’s so much he’d like to know.
She is shown inside a room, where a large man awaits them. Carol asks where the weapons are. She thought this was his showroom. “Oh, it was,” Preen replies, “until I learned that the Americans would be sending a young woman to me, posing as an intermediary for international terrorists.” He explains that he had them moved to another location. Carol feigns ignorance and, even with a pistol to her forehead, she says that she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. She’s a professional to the end.
Jacques Preen asks her not to insult his intelligence. He has been in this business far too long, and has people on his payroll in both Canada and America. He reveals he has known about her operation since before she was given this assignment. Now, it is over. He will remain in business, but unfortunately, she will be dead. Carol knows this is a tough situation, but reacts instantly, kicking the large bodyguard and grabbing his pistol. She holds it to Preen’s head and he does likewise. They’ve arrived at an impasse.
Preen smiles. He informs Carol that at this moment there are four more guns trained at her head. She will be dead before she can pull the trigger. “I’m still standing, Preen,” says Carol. Preen calls for his four men, but none of them respond. He begins to panic. “Kill her, kill her now! A strange voice replies from the darkness. It’s Logan, and he explains that ain’t gonna happen. Preen asks who he is. Logan introduces himself and adds that some might say he’s the best he is at what he does.
Wearing trousers and a white vest, Logan carries two blades which he has used to off the gunmen. Danvers is surprised to see him. He wasn’t supposed to be part of the operation. Lucky for her that he dealt himself in. He’s still the Wildman after all these years, she thinks. He still moves with the same brutal grace, and shows his age about as much as he shows mercy - as in, not at all. Preen is terrified and tries to run, and Carol almost feels sorry for him; almost.
A short time later, back in the bar, Preen is unconscious on the floor. Logan tells Carol it’s nice to see her again, and asks how she’s doing. She replies that she’s good, but a few minutes ago…? She was expecting Langram as back up. Logan says it’s her lucky day. He got the call just an hour ago. He adds that Langram was supposed to be here, but something came up. The boys back in Ottawa knew Logan and Carol had a history of running successful missions together, so they chose him as a replacement.
They share a drink to old times. Carol points out that she needs to call this in; get a clean-up crew and some interrogators. Logan asks why bother? He’s sure they can squeeze everything they need out of the fat man. Carol says they don’t do that stuff anymore, but Logan reckons that’s more the shame. It takes all the fun out of being a secret agent.
Carol makes the call. She and Logan go way back. She was green when they first met in the field, but she learned real quick. There isn’t a man or woman alive who Logan would rather have watching his back when the heat comes down. He thinks it’s almost time he told her everything. She’s one of the few he can trust. Carol gets off the phone, and looks shaken. Logan teases her a little. He tells her she looks like her best friend died; but knows that ain’t the case as he’s standing right before her. Carol replies that it’s Neil. He’s dead.
(one hour later)
Logan and Carol arrive at the crime scene as government troops are scouring the area. Logan knows that Langram was the best. Whoever got the drop on him was real good. A tall official named Sidney Hallorman stands behind Logan and says this is a mess. His men have been all over the scene trying to piece together what happened. From experience, Logan knows the killer came out of the bushes. He dislikes Hallorman intensely. He is an officious bureaucrat working with the Defense Ministry; an accountant playing at the espionage game. He wouldn’t know a clue if it stabbed him in the throat. He wonders what Neil was doing here. They were so close to learning the truth, and this had to involve that.
Hallorman explains that the best they’ve been able to determine is that Langram was selling his services to the highest bidder. “He was a traitor, Logan; one who obviously ran foul of someone who liked to play with knives. He got what he deserved if you ask me.” As Neil’s corpse lies in a body bag, blood drying to his cheek, Logan flips, and pushes Hallorman. He produces one of his own knives, and grabs him by the neck tie. He wails at Hallorman, explaining that Neil Langram was as loyal and trustworthy a man as you’d ever meet. He was worth ten of Hallorman. He won’t let the bureaucrat dirty his name just because it’ll make his job easier. He’ll see Hallorman dead first.
Carol asks him to let the guy go. He isn’t worth it. She asks that he get control of himself. Logan replies that he is calm. She shouldn’t worry. He hasn’t lost it in a long time. He warns Hallorman that if he ever hears that he’s been talking any other garbage about Langram being a traitor, he promise he’ll come after him. He tells the hopeless Hallorman to get lost; he has work to do.
Carol asks Logan what he’s doing next, and thinks they should go for a drink. It’s over for Neil. Logan has other ideas. He wants to find out who did this, and make him pay. There’s something there he can almost smell. Carol thinks he’s too close to the case, and should back off. A stranger behind her asks Logan to listen to her. It’s Malcolm, one of Logan’s superiors. He informs Logan that he is to back off from the case, or charges will be brought against him. He will take the lead in the investigation.
Logan asks when he’s hauling him in for a grilling, but Malcolm replies that there’ll be no grilling. He reminds Logan that he is a loyal government employee with nothing to hide, and is sure he will cooperate to the fullest in their investigation. He suggests Logan take some time off. He’ll be contacted when the government needs him. Logan thanks him, but is clearly not finished with this case.
(later, Logan’s apartment)
Logan and Carol are relaxing, but Logan is anything but relaxed. The whole thing stinks. Malcolm should never have let him walk away like that. He knows more than he’s admitting. Carol feels it’s the booze talking. One of Logan’s best friends was killed and, in his state, he’s bound to see conspiracies all over the place. Logan replies that he ain’t drunk. Carol asks why that is. He drinks like a fish, and it never seems to affect him. Logan replies that he guesses he’s been blessed with an excellent metabolism. He informs Carol that there are things going on he can’t tell even her about. He and Neil were into some pretty serious stuff, and he thinks that’s what got him killed.
Logan then accesses a computer; an experimental version he acquired from the tech boys. He attempts to break into the defense ministry’s mainframe and see what he can dig up on Neil. Unfortunately, as he attempts to hack into it, his access is qualified as unauthorized and a self-destruct mechanism goes off, destroying the machine. Logan puts the fire out, but now needs another way to get the info he needs. He asks Carol if she fancies spending the night so they come up with a plan. Carol says she’d love to, but she has a six a.m. plane back to Washington. She still has to write up her report on tonight’s mission, and, as a friend who cares a great deal about him, she suggests he gets some rest and takes a back seat on this whole mess. Logan says sure, and he’ll keep that in mind. Carol departs, and Logan gets some shut eye.
(two hours later)
Logan is woken by the sound of gunshots. He instinctively leaps form his bed, and figures his assailants must be shooting blind, as he hasn’t been hit by the time he hits the floorboards. As shots rake the bedroom, Logan crashes through his room door and into the hallway, where another assassin awaits. Logan doesn’t waste his ammo, and takes him out nice and quietly to buy himself a few more seconds. With the precious time he’s saved, he leaps through a window and to freedom.
(soon)
Logan makes a phone call from a telephone box. He offers his priority code: Wolverine, and says he needs control, now. He explains that he had a hit and run at his apartment, and bad guys might be on his tail. He wants to be brought in, and asks if he can be met. They suggest the hockey stadium and ask if Logan knows where it is. “Yeah,” he replies, “I know where the hockey stadium is! I am Canadian, you know. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”
(fifteen minutes later)
Logan waits inside the stadium for his contacts to arrive. As he stands in the center of the rink, he sniffs the air, and realizes that he’s being set up. He pulls a revolver from its holster, and shoots the light out as two fresh assailants abseil from the ceiling. He then draws one of his blades and hurls it at the first man, who’s carrying what appears to be an overly large gun for this type of mission. The blade slices his rope, and he lands much harder than he expected. He’s out cold. Logan grabs his weapon and begins firing at the second guy. He connects with his rope, and he too lands with a thump. Still a pro to the end, he manages to reach for his gun, but Logan warns him that he’s not that fast.
Logan demands to know who on the inside set him up. The injured assassin isn’t talking, but informs Logan that, by the end of the night, he and the woman will be dead anyway. Logan kicks him in the face, hard, and comments that he now won’t be talking for the next couple of months. Not with his jaw wired shut.
(Carol Danvers’ room, later)
When Logan arrives at Carol’s place, it emerges that four assassins came after her. Logan feels insulted that only two were on his case. Carol replies that, obviously, they knew who wears the pants in this partnership. She asks what Logan got her into, but he clearly doesn’t know. All he does know is that they can trust no one. He asks if she’s up for this. Carol replies that it looks like she hasn’t a choice. “C’mon,” he smiles, “It’ll be just like the old days.” That’s what Carol’s afraid of.
(Canadian Ministry of Defense)
Deep within the complex, a top secret research and development agency in its earliest stages of growth, two hapless guards in white combat suits are playing cards. “Department H!” says one, “What’s that stand for, Department Hoser?” He can’t believe they drew this detail. His friend says he shouldn’t complain. They could have to dress up like all the other hosers up above instead of getting to wear this fine garb. They finish their game, and get up from their seats - boxes labelled ‘Top Secret.’
Heading off on their rounds, they soon come across Carol Danvers, who distracts them with a little flirting, whilst Logan jumps them from above. Now with an electronic key which will open the vault, they make their way through the basement. Logan explains to Carol that he’s been with the department longer than he cares to remember, and he’s telling her that this place doesn’t exist. Clearly, it does. They don’t know what they’re looking for, but Logan discovers a list with his name on it, as well as Neil Langram’s and half a dozen others. Carol asks how he fits into all this, but Logan simply doesn’t know. He smashes a screen that reads ‘Mutant Agenda,’ and figures they should start at the top of the list. There are two names that look vaguely familiar. The first they don’t want to run into. The second is gonna take them back to their home soil.
(New York City, four hours later)
In Greenwich Village, Dr. Edwards, earlier seen being interviewed on television, wanders through the crowded streets. Logan intercepts him, but Edwards shrugs him off, thinking him an autograph hunter. As he heads away, he glances backwards to see several men who appear to be following him. He increases his pace, and says to himself that he knew this would happen eventually. He knows too much, and there’s no way they can allow him to live. What was he thinking when he decided to publish?
He enters a building and ascends the staircase. ‘It’s the mutants,’ he thinks. He feels they’re out to silence him. He opens a door, and discovers Carol Danvers standing in the room. She tells him to get down. Edwards stubbornly refuses, and states he will not be intimidated. She repeats her request, and is then forced to shove him out of the way as a couple of gunmen appear at the doorway.
Suddenly, the two men are taken out from behind, as Logan piles through them. He’s spotted at least half a dozen more on his way up, so they should take ‘em out quiet so they don’t have them all up there at once. Carol deals with one of the guy's who is still conscious, and Logan helps out where he can. She becomes frustrated by his insistence on calling her ‘kid,’ and he enquires just how old she is, anyway. She replies that, in some states they’ve been in, he wouldn’t even be able to buy her a drink!
They usher Dr. Edwards from the room, and inform him that they have a safe house nearby. Edwards stutters, “But who... who… who…?” Carol interjects, by replying, “Who is behind all this? We’re hoping you can help us figure that out.” “No,” Edwards replies, “I mean who is going to help feed my cats?”
(a short time later)
Dr. Edwards is wary of being escorted by these two strangers. He wishes to go to the police. Carol advises against doing that, but he isn’t interested in her advice. Logan assures him that they’re simply trying to keep him alive. Edwards asks who they think is trying to kill him, but Logan cannot answer. All he knows is that whoever it is, they want him dead too.
He explains that both his and Edwards’ names appeared on a list which turned up in a government data bank. The file was called ‘The Mutant Agenda,’ and it looks like it has worldwide ramifications. “Worldwide?” queries Edwards. He never dreamed. But then, he realizes that of course it would be worldwide. How small-minded of him to assume it would be confined to the United States. He’s on the brink of exposing it all, so no wonder they want him dead.
Logan grabs his shoulders to bring him back to reality. He asks the doc to take a deep breath and start from the beginning. He asks who it is that wants him dead. Edwards replies that it’s the mutant hierarchy, of course. Logan hasn’t heard of them. Edwards pulls out a book from his jacket pocket and tells them it’s all in there. A shadow society of mutants, he explains; super-powered, genetically superior beings who are living amongst mankind. Logan asks him to continue, but Carol can’t believe Logan is buying this drivel.
Edwards continues to tell them that mutants are very real. As they stand there, society; civilization is on the brink of a major step forward in the evolutionary process. However, the consequences could be a war, the likes of which mankind has never witnessed. Logan takes the book. Dr. Edwards adds that, in researching the sequel to this book, he has uncovered that not all of these mutants are benevolent. He decides to show them.
(evening, Upper Manhattan’s east side)
Logan, Carol Danvers and Dr. Edwards are standing on the sidewalk opposite the Hellfire Club. A large white limousine is parked outside and people are entering the premises. Edwards says that admittance and membership is by invitation only. Logan adds that only those who are amongst the wealthiest and most powerful movers and shakers ever receive invitations. No one turns down membership. To do so is to exclude yourself from cavorting with others in a similar socio-economic bracket.
When Logan asks what it has to do with mutants, Edwards explains that amongst the highest-ranking members of the club are super-powered mutants. Logan asks how he knows this. Discreetly, Edwards replies that he has his sources; sources who tell him that the mutants are planning a purge of what is called the Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club. “And this is a bad thing?” enquires Logan. Edwards continues to say that his source, before her untimely death, came upon information which indicated that these mutants crave power which reaches far beyond these walls. The fact he is telling Logan this has marked him for death.
Logan wants to go in. Carol adds, “Of course we are.” Logan apologizes, but he wants Carol to get Edwards safe. Carol asks why he can’t let this go, and Logan replies that it’s personal; real personal. Carol senses that there is more to this than just Langram’s death, but Logan kisses her on her cheek and asks her not to go there. As he turns and walks to the club, he tells Carol to forget about him. Just get Edwards safe and she’ll be just fine. He’s going to find some answers, but isn’t sure he’ll like what he finds.
Logan approaches the door and whistles. The doorman, Jonathan, stands in his way and explains that entry is for members only. He warns Logan to leave before he calls the police. As he disappears along the sidewalk, Jonathan radios his fellow guards and warns them they may have a possible stalker. He orders security on all entrances beefed up.
A young boy climbs the steps to the club with his father. The boy is Warren Worthington III, and he asks his father what the Hellfire Club is. His father replies that he’ll learn all in due time. Tonight is simply about enjoying the party and the company of others of their standing. Jonathan greets him warmly.
Meanwhile, Logan is up on the rooftops, having lost his coat. He thinks it’s ridiculous that he’s bouncing from roof to roof when he could be going in through the sewers. He drops through an open skylight and discovers a computer for him to tap into. Unfortunately, it’s all encrypted, so he’ll find nothing there. Suddenly, from the shadows comes a cadre of Hellfire Club guards; each of them armed. Logan plays it nonchalantly, and asks what they’re gonna do with him.
Moments later, and the guards are being defenestrated, with Logan taking them out in mid air. As they face this ferocious onslaught, Logan is thankful that all bad guys seem to be alike, and couldn’t resist telling him in gory detail what they planned to do with him. One of them said, “Orders are to take you up to the Canadian installation with the rest of your kind.” Logan doesn’t know what that means, but at least it’s a lead. Maybe, he thinks, he should have waited to hear more before breaking the guy’s jaw.
Their battle is watched from inside the club by concerned officials, who ask their guests to pay no attention to the melee outside. It’s a minor problem which security has under control, they lie. As Logan continues his assault, he wonders why he continues to do this. As more guards approach, unexpected assistance arrives in the form of Carol Danvers, who drops gas grenades on the incoming guards. She drops him a rope, which he climbs and the pair of them hightail it outta there.
Carol explains that she got Edwards to safety, but mentions that this is her country, and since when does he start giving her orders? She asks if he founds anything, but Logan doesn’t give much away, He wonders if she can gain access to her department’s computers and help him do some digging. It’s not a problem for Carol, and she reminds Logan that her government isn’t trying to kill her. “The night’s young, darlin’,” replies Logan.
Watching events from a window in the Hellfire Club, Sebastian Shaw asks his companion if he thinks Logan will take the bait. “Count on it,” he replies. He reckons the runt’s good enough to follow the trail he’s given him there, and he does show initiative. Shaw wonders if he could be persuaded to join up and work for him. “Not a chance,” comes the reply. Shaw then tells him to do what needs to be done. This one man jeopardizes everything he’s worked to accomplish. Shaw turns to his companion, Sabretooth, and explains that the Inner Circle is within his grasp and, after all, it’s imperative that the existence of mutantkind not be made public knowledge until he and his compatriots are ready to act decisively. He thinks this operation is turning into a debacle, and orders Sabretooth to salvage what he can and clean up the rest. Sabretooth is happy to do this. He and the runt have a score to settle.
(the next day, near the Canadian border)
Logan and Carol are in stealth mode. They have arrived at their destination, and Logan feels this is the right place; he can feel it in his bones. However, something doesn’t smell quite right. They move their way through the empty complex, and Logan tells Carol that the whole place reeks of blood. A voice from the darkness says, “Ain’t you the sensitive runt?” Logan draws a meaty-looking knife, and recognizes the voice. “Don’t remember the red salty botherin’ you much when we were in the mud together, boy!” Logan says Creed’s name, and orders Carol to leave, now!
Sabretooth tells her to stick around; the fun’s just starting. Logan suddenly sees Dr. Edwards’ body dropped beside him. He is wrapped in cloth, and hanging lifelessly. Creed then proceeds to drop several more bodies, including Hallorman and Malcolm from the Defense Ministry. Three others Logan doesn’t know, and never will, hang beside them. Creed explains that they were working on the U.S. side of the operation. He explains that so many minds were put into this thing, and Logan ran it all into the ground. He informs Logan that a lot of real powerful people want him dead. He has no idea what a beauty of an operation this was gonna be. Creed had it made, and even thought about bringing Logan in. It was, he adds, always supposed to be about people like Logan and himself, but now, it’s just about him.
Creed’s arm reaches from the shadows and grabs Carol by the hair. He comments that they will die, and the people he works for will start building this all over again. He isn’t going to lose any sleep over it. “Seems like old times, Logan. You, me and a frail.” Logan warns Creed to let Carol go, but Creed isn’t willing to do that just yet. He wants Logan to be at his fighting best, and actually wants him to go all wild over him like he used to. He figures he’ll need a little inspiration. A little spilled frail blood might be just what he needs. “While you’re fightin’ me, you can think about how you couldn’t save her.”
Fortunately, Carol Danvers isn’t helpless and she delivers a kick to Creed’s torso, which frees her from his grasp. She tells Logan he can kill Creed, but should do it for himself, not her. Creed is eager for battle. Logan desires a kill, but not before Creed explains what this is all about. Creed is happy to oblige but, before he spills his guts, he just wants Logan to admit what he is. Raising his knife above his head, Logan asks what he’s talking about. Creed taunts him about running around, looking into all this mutant stuff, while he won’t even admit himself why he’s doing it. Logan orders him to shut up, and leaps at Creed.
Sabretooth uses Logan’s momentum to get him off balance, and he holds him above his head. Creed tells him it’s scary looking in the mirror and realizing you’re different from anyone else. This, he explains, is the difference between the pair of them. Creed is proud of the fact he is different, ‘cause he knows he’s better than the rest. It explains why he finds it so easy to kill them all. “We are both mutants, Logan. Unfortunately, in about another minute, I’m going to be the only live one in the room.”
Logan replies with a hint of sarcasm that they’re both mutants; so how come a group of mutants like the Hellfire Club wants other mutants dead? Creed seems surprised that Logan hasn’t cottoned on to the Club’s real purpose. He explains that Edwards was right. Sides are being drawn up for the future. Armies of mutants are going to be formed. His employers wanted to make sure they had one of the first; one of the best. That’s why they picked him up. Logan and his partner were on somebody’s list, but it was some farm team down in the States. Logan’s partner, he continues, was contacted by his people and turned down the offer. He learned the hard way it was a once in a lifetime offer.
Logan realizes that it was Creed who killed Neil Langram. With incredible swiftness, he brings his sword around and plunges it straight into Sabretooth’s stomach, lifting him clean off the ground. The air is filled with an inhuman howl of pain. For years after, Carol Danvers could never be quite sure if it was a cry of pain from Sabretooth, or one of bestial rage from the depths of Logan’s soul. Soon, the sound dies away, and the battle is done.
Carol asks Logan if they should take what they’ve learned public. Logan knows information like this will start riots, as people begin hunting mutants down because they’re different. He doesn’t want to be responsible for creating a world like that. Suddenly, Sabretooth stands, his healing factor clearly helping him recover quickly from the blade wound. He is carrying an explosive device. Carol and Logan have a second to think. Logan calls for Carol to get down, and then unloads several bullets into Creed’s body. A massive explosion demolishes the complex.
(one month later)
Carol is in a safe house while she nurses her wounds. She is called by Logan, and thanks him for dragging her out of that inferno alive. She enquires about him, and he replies that he’s always been a quick healer. Carol’s people went through the ruins, but came up with squat. Not even a trace of Creed remained. This news comes as no surprise to Logan. Carol asks what’s next. Logan says they do nothing. Nobody will believe it, and he’s not even sure Carol believes it - and she was there. Besides, his rep with his people is dirt now. They get all squirrelly when you start talking conspiracy in the Defense Ministry. Along with busting into Department H and the Hellfire Club, he’s lucky not to be in jail. He figures they should get on with their lives, and see what the world throws at them.
Carol replies that she can’t do that. Somebody in one of their governments has got to listen; has got to care. She wants to find someone they can trust and get them to look at what they’ve found. She’s heard good things about a freshman senator who’s on the way up. His name is Kelly, and it seems like the kind of thing he’d be willing to help with.
Logan lets her decide, but asks that she doesn’t let it drag her down. He’s heading off to the Yukon to try and forget he ever heard about mutants. “Maybe in a few years it’ll all have blown over. Teams of super-powered mutants? Even I can’t buy that one!”
