All-New X-Men (2nd series) #4

Issue Date: 
April 2016
Story Title: 

Dennis Hopeless (writer), Mark Bagley (penciler), Andrew Hennessy (inker), Nolan Woodard (colorist), VC’s Cory Petit (letterer), Bagley, Hennessy, Woodard (cover artists), ), Bagley, Hennessy, Woodard ; Brigman, Palmer, Rosenberg;  Lim, Palmer, Troy(variant covers), Christina Harrington(assistant editor), Daniel Ketchum (editor), Mark Paniccia (X-Men group editor), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (executive producer)
X-Men created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby

Brief Description: 

Beast has developed a system to predict threats and the X-Men teleport around the globe to combat them. Due to Cyclops’ speech having gone viral, he has to face his newfound popularity. Angel, in the meantime, has difficulties dealing with the tendency of his girlfriend, Wolverine, to throw herself into danger. They discuss this while in Paris but end up near a café in which the Blob is threatening the chef. Wolverine attacks him, ignoring Angel’s plea to get the rest of the team. With him helpless, he has to watch as the Blob beats Wolverine within an inch of her life.

Full Summary: 

Tokyo, a hostage situation in a high rise, as the people are threatened by gangsters in demon masks. Outside, Angel flies himself and Wolverine close. She tries to find out what is wrong with him but he refuses to answer, assuring her he is fine. She figures he doesn’t want to work on this case. He’s worried. Why would he be worried? Angel asks sarcastically. His girlfriend is the best there is at what she does. He’s about to watch her prove it. Again. Damn right, Laura chuckles. Now tell her he loves her and let’s do this thing! He tosses her against the window, reminding her she knows he loves her.

Did they hear that? Wolverine asks as she crashes through the window. They are in love! The men fire their guns at her and Warren is horrified, even though he knows that Laura heals quickly. She unsheathes her claws and attacks. That really hurt, she grins.

Later, the crisis over, cops are arresting the criminals and paramedics take care of the hostages. Beast explains to an audience (in fluent Japanese) that he has written an algorithm that reads and processes probable threats by scanning international news and weather patterns. Then it’s just a matter of scanning the data and determining where the X-Men are needed most.

Standing a bit aside with Oya, Genesis figures Hank is talking about his danger tracker again. Idie asks if he speaks Japanese. No, but he is holding that scanner thing and everyone looks confused. She agrees and suggests they talk to him about Twitter. Seeing some schoolgirls go crazy about Cyclops, Idie marvels that people seem to be crazy about X-Men here. Just them, Evan explains. Scott’s police station video went viral. People love them. “Road tripping throwback X-Men lead by example!” Front page of yesterday’s Washington Post, he clarifies. Idie is amazed they still print newspapers.

The girls ask Cyclops to sign some autographs and argue whether or not he is the real Cyclops. One girl clarifies he is not the evil Cyclops who died in the Terrigen but the hero from the internet. Being asked to sign autographs is a new situation for Scott and he doesn’t know what to do, much to Iceman’s amusement.

Wolverine tweezes out the bullet in front of a fascinated and repulsed crowd, not to mention a sullen Angel. Is he enjoying the circus as much as he is? Cyclops asks. Not loving it, Warren admits. Will Laura mind him stealing Warren away for some hole-in-the-wall Ramen? Warren bitterly doubts she’d even notice. Hank calls after them not to go too far. They’ll leave as soon as Pickles is fed.

European Union’s exceptionally rare and exotic zoological park, Outside Paris, France:

The Blob walks into the cage of a strange monster, goading it to attack him. He kills it grinning:  sometimes you eat, sometimes you get eaten

Sequoia National Forest, California:
Pickles teleports the X-Men to the burning forest. Hank is disappointed they arrived so late. The incident tracker should have alerted them hours ago. Iceman asks Oya if she can snuff a fire that big. She figures so, but is afraid there might still be someone in there.

Two coughing firemen come from the flames, groaning she is still trapped. On it, Wolverine volunteers over Angels’ protest. “BRB,” she announces and heads into the flames. Why does she always do that? he exclaims. Because she can, Hank replies. They should count themselves lucky to have a Wolverine on the team. Yeah, lucky, Angel echoes half-hearted.

Moments later, Laura returns carrying the missing firefighter in a protection suit. She orders Oya to snuff it. Idie absorbs the flames, in effect freezing the fire.

The Firefighters marvel at what Laura did. And he was worried, Cyclops tells Angel. His girlfriend sets herself on fire, he replies somberly. Like, on the regular!

Hurricane Roxy:
Koh Phi Phi Islands, Thailand:
The X-Men help evacuate people caught in the storm but they are running out of high ground and shelter. Iceman protects them all with a huge ice bubble. He is getting icier all the time, he observes. An anxious Angel asks where Laura is. At that moment, claws dig an entrance into the ice bubble. Wolverine stayed behind to save a dog. What’s the matter with him? she asks Warren. He… just… He just what? she presses. He sighs and replies he’s good. The dog begins to lick Warren’s face and Laura jokes that puppy love melts the grumps away.

Later, they celebrate at the beach bar and Eva asks Hank what the next destination is. Paris? Hank hesitates then agrees. Evan shows him the news on his cell. Looks like some creep is poaching exotic animals. It’s trending on Twitter.

At the bar, a young man tries to flirt with Bobby and asks him to show him how that icestuff works. In response, Bobby freezes his tray of drinks before realizing this was not the best way.

Paris, France, that night:
Laura and Warren are in the streets. 45 minutes in line for hors d’oeuvres, she complains. Is that what he meant when he said they’d go on patrol? He explains those minutes were an investment in their future. An evening which begins with croquette de jambon never ends badly. She laughs and calls him ridiculous.

More seriously, he wants to talk with her about her badass, head-first-never-needs-saving thing. He knows she can survive a lot. Healing factor is one thing, but lately it’s like how hardcore can Laura hurt herself. This is who she is, she retorts. This is what she does. Says who? he asks. This is a team sport. And it’s her role on the team to take the risks, she retorts. To swallow the bullets and burns so nobody else has to. She’s the one who won’t get hurt.

Stop saying that! he shouts. She has everybody else convinced she is invincible. But that’s crap! Just because he face grows back, doesn’t mean—

She orders him to stop talking. Taking this the wrong way, he asks if she cares so little about what he thinks… Interrupting again, Laura tells him she is happy to listen - later. But right now, can they deal with that? She points at a restaurant behind him, out of which a panicking group is running.

Inside is the Blob and the chef, who is supposed to prepare the animal the Blob has killed. The Blob informs him he is willing to pay handsomely for a delightful meal. But he has high expectations and a refined palate. Disappointing him would be a bad idea.

Angel and Wolverine peek inside the restaurant and Angel wonders how much it cost to have that Dolce and Gabbana suit made for his size. Dude used to run around in a strongman singlet. Not a good look. Laura asks if he actually cares about these things or is just trying to annoy her.

Warren suggests they call the team. Not necessary, she replies and unsheathes he claws. She’s got this. Warren sighs. This is exactly what he’s talking about. They are a team! She doesn’t have to take on everything by herself. Not everything, she agrees before jumping inside, but this is a fat bully in overprized clothes and she is the #*&% Wolverine!

The Blob catches her head in mid-jump with amazing speed and smashes her into the ground head-first. Body-shaming and a sloppy, off-balance attack? He mocks Wolverine was better than that.

Angel flies in, ordering him to leave her alone. Blob hits him with the body of the dead animal and points out she was attacking him.

Laura has gotten her second wind. Trapped beneath the animal corpse, Angel shouts at her to get the others. Angrily, she attacks instead. Blob kicks her head into the ground and remarks at least she got something in common with the real Wolverine, as he keeps on hitting her. That guy didn’t know to stay down either.

Watching horrified and helpless, Angel cries her name.

Characters Involved: 

Angel (from the past), Beast (from the past), Cyclops (from the past), Genesis II, Iceman (from the past), Oya, Wolverine III (all X-Men)



Story Notes: 

Cyclops held his speech last issue

The other Cyclops’ fate will be revealed in the Death of X limited series.

BRB: Be Right Back.

Written By: