All-New X-Men (2nd series) #5

Issue Date: 
April 2016
Story Title: 

Dennis Hopeless (writer), Mark Bagley (penciler), Andrew Hennessy (inker), Nolan Woodard (colorist), VC’s Cory Petit (letterer), Bagley, Hennessy, Woodard (cover artists), ), Bagley, Hennessy, Woodard , Christina Harrington(assistant editor), Daniel Ketchum (editor), Mark Paniccia (X-Men group editor), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (executive producer)
X-Men created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby

Brief Description: 

The Blob leaves the café after having beaten Wolverine to within an inch of her life. Angel stays by her side and watches her heal. When she recovers and gets ready to fight the Blob again, he tells her he can’t do this anymore and wants to break up. Beast is on the street when he runs into the Blob and is quickly forced into battle. Not far away, Cyclops has bought a soccer ball and is almost lured into a dark alley by the Toad, when he notices the battle and joins it. In a shoe store, Iceman is uncomfortable flirting with the clerk. Genesis tries to talk with him about his hang-up, when they too notice the battle. Oya is in Notre Dame trying to come to terms with her faith when Iceman enters and gets her to join the battle.

Full Summary: 

A restaurant in Paris, France:
With a grin, the Blob wipes Laura Kinney’s blood off his hands. Wolverine? he mocks. Not even close, sweetheart. Here’s hoping they threw in a side of healing factor with those claws. Now about that dinner… He looks at the dead animal, to find Angel is still trapped underneath.

He frees him and goads Angel to show him what he’s got. Angel’s firewings flare. Unimpressed, the Blob describes them as ‘real pretty’ and mocks him when he runs to Lara’s unmoving body. Screw it, the Blob decides. He’ll eat somewhere else.

Angel sinks down horrified as he looks at Laura’s injuries. Anyone else would be dead. This is what dead looks like. He takes her hand.

Not far away, Beast follows a trail from newsfeeds on his tablet, fascinated and jealous of technology that seems to have passed him by. Unfortunately, he runs straight into the Blob’s fists. Slugging the animal carcass around, the Blob shouts will those teenybopper X-Men just let him #*+%& eat?!

Notre Dame:
Clearly resentful, Idie walks inside the cathedral, addressing God. She didn’t expect to be back so soon either. She freezes the devotional candles as she walks past them. But she just saw him up here now and decided, to hell with it. They need to talk! She looks at the Pieta in front of her.

At a kiosk, Cyclops wants to buy a soccer ball, noticing too late that it is ridiculously overpriced. He doesn’t see the figure in the shadows stalking him. Nevertheless, he buys the ball, figuring the two vendors are laughing at him.

He loses the ball that rolls into a dark alleyway. Smooth, he sighs.

A moment later, someone says ‘catch’ and the ball is thrown back at him from the dark. The words ‘let’s play’ are written on the ball. Scott asks who’s there. Come and see, the other person goads him.

That moment, an enraged Blob breaks through the wall with Beast trying to stop him. The stranger forgotten, Cyclops runs after them.

In the café, Angel watches nauseated how Laura’s bones reset themselves and she heals violently.

In a shoe store, Bobby is awkwardly flirting with the clerk, or rather being flirted at. Bobby excuses himself, claiming he has work that night. Evan intervenes, promising he can cover Bobby’s shift. The clerk gives him his number. Clearly uncomfortable, Bobby excuses himself that he’d like to get some streets crepes.

When Evan follows after purchasing some sneakers, he is surprised that Bobby actually got crepes. So he guesses they are pretending his weird freakout back there didn’t happen. He offers they can talk about it but Bobby doesn’t want to. Evan points out he was cloned from a more or less immortal fascist god king, whose genocide obsession runs so deep he renamed himself Apocalypse. And that fact never ever comes up. The X-Men accepted him from the start. Does Bobby really think Evan is judging him for flirting with some guy? He doesn’t know, Bobby shrugs. Until this conversation he’d have described Evan as “that smiley guy standing in the corner.”

Eating crepes and walking, they talk. What about Hank? Evan asks. He’s seen Bobby push him away lately. Is Hank the type of guy who--? No! Bobby replies forcefully. He’s not stupid. He knows Hank’s not a homophobe. Of course, he knows that.

Evan wants to know the problem. Bobby explains Hank is like his big brother. And he’s this mess right now. He doesn’t want to put this on him. He just wants to be Hank and Bobby like always. He thinks people are telling him it’s not a big deal. Whatever. But it is a big deal for him. It’s a huge frikkin’ deal -- Look at old Iceman. There’s a grown-up version of him who kept that secret for years! He never told anyone! That’s scary. That’s sad! He doesn’t want that.

Evan apologizes for interrupting but, at that moment, the Arc de Triomphe falls victim to the Blob, Cyclops, Beast and several policemen. The two join the action.

Inside Notre Dame:
Idie rants this is what it always comes down to: God is good. God is love. God is righteous. Unless you happen to be different. In which case, God is vengeful. Because different is somehow evil to him. Mutants are demons made flesh, right? That’s what she was taught and believed. That’s why she hated herself for so long. Because of him. But she isn’t evil. Her friends aren’t either. They are good people.

That moment, Iceman is hit into the church through one of its window. Weird people, Idie amends. But whose fault is that? She doesn’t hate herself anymore. Not most days. But she doesn’t know how much of God she keeps. Can she hold on to the loving God who taught her how to be good and pretend the vengeful jerk doesn’t exist? Or does it really have to be all or nothing? Grimly, she suggests he think on it then get back to her. They have to go deal with whatever nonsense it is he has put outside.

As they leave on Iceman’s iceslide, he asks if she talks to God a lot. She used to. Now she mostly yells. Outside, their friends try to stop a raging Blob.

In the café, Wolverine awakes and asks what happened. The Blob happened. Angel reminds her. Right, she remembers and admits she played that all wrong. Where did he go? Refusing to meet her eyes, Warren explains he left right after he killed her. No one killed her, she smiles. Obviously, he replies. He can’t do this anymore. He wants to break up…

Characters Involved: 

Angel (from the past), Beast (from the past), Cyclops (from the past), Genesis II, Iceman (from the past), Oya, Wolverine III (all X-Men)



Written By: