First story:
Predator X stands over Logan growling fiercely. Logan says to it “Heel, puppy… I don’t wanna have ta hurt you.” Punisher thinks to himself that this isn’t something he sees every day and admits that Wolverine has more experience with this type of foe.
The mutant-devouring creature lunges at Logan who slides under it and slices it with his claws as he admits “Ah… like hell I don’t!” Predator X roars loudly and tosses Wolverine away from him. Logan lands deftly and says that the shiny beast “…kinda reminds me o’ me.” The Punisher enters the fray, thinking to himself that he didn’t track this case halfway across the globe to sit on the sidelines.
He fires both his handguns at Predator X with little effect. Logan tackles him and tells him not to provoke it. As he does so, he explains to Castle that Predator X is programmed to hunt mutants only and is only after him. Predator X dramatically proves Logan’s point as it bites down hard on his arm. Logan yells out to Castle to find Viper and leave Predator X to him. Punisher gets to his feet but is quickly attacked by an unseen figure who tells him that getting involved in her business was foolish and killing her men was stupid. She adds “But following me here to Madripoor? That’s suicide.” The woman is revealed to be Kimura, an agent of the mysterious group known as The Facility.
She tells Castle that she didn’t spend six months getting her “brain re-wired after Emma Frost’s mental meddling” to let The Facility’s plans be thwarted by a “small-time vigilante like you”. She grabs him by the shirt, gloating about how easy it will be to kill him. He proves her wrong by easily grasping her with his legs and throwing her aside. The Punisher knows little about Kimura beyond that she is selling bioweapons to Viper. Kimura recovers quickly and tells him that he’ll find she’s not so easy to kill either. He tells her he isn’t afraid to do things the hard way and grabs a gun from a fallen Hydra agent. He aims it directly into her chest and fires. The bullets merely bounce off her indestructible bosom and one grazes the Punisher’s shoulder. Kimura backhands him and sends him flying. She tells him that the “hard way” is how she prefers to handle things as well.
The Punisher ponders the nature of animals and how when they are cornered and threatened, the adrenaline rush can cause them to do crazy things. He asks Kimura if she’s a mutant given her indestructible nature. She tells him that if she were, Predator X would be after her instead of focusing solely on Wolverine. Castle tells her “We’ll just see about that…” and tackles her, driving her into the waiting jaws of Predator X. As he does so, he tells her that he bets that her mutant-eating monster doesn’t mind snacking on “plain ol’ humans” once in while. She cries out “You maniac… NO!” as Predator X bites down on the both of them! Wolverine looks up at Predator X with disappointment and says” Aw, hell! I was just gettin’ warmed up…”
Fourth story:
Roberto says to Mojo “Let’s get this thing going, big guy. Let’s sign some contracts and make a movie.” Mojo quickly corrects him, they’ll be making movies together, plural. Sam points out that that wasn’t the deal and Mojo says that they’ve yet to make a deal, they’ve simply agreed verbally to work together. He tells them that whenever they’re ready to enter into contract negotiations, they can “say when.” Bobby folds his arms and says simply “When.”
Mojo shouts, “Roll cameras!” and the walls of the plain square room they are in roll back to reveal an immense studio space. Set pieces from numerous game shows are set up throughout the studio. Sam exclaims, “What is going on here?” Mojo and his right hand man, Major Domo explain that in the Mojoverse contract negotiations are handled via televised game shows. Major Domo reveals that this is their third variation on contract negotiations. The first attempt involved battles to the death for deal points but this led to the voiding of the contracts since the involved parties were dead. Next they tried a version where Mojo always chose the games and subsequently won every deal point. After this aired, no one wanted to enter into negotiations with Mojomedia. Sam agrees that it did seem unfair. Domo goes on to explain he format they will be using. There will be seven rounds of negotiations with the winner of each round naming a condition of the contract. The loser of each round gets to pick the next game to be played. No powers until the contract is settled.
With the parameters set, Mojo names the first challenge: MOJO FEUD! Sam and Roberto face off against a family of Mojos… Mojo as the “dad”, a Mojo mom, Mojo grandpa and two adorable Mojo kids. Major Domo acts as the show’s host and asks the Mojo family to name the person most associated with the phrase “Male Motion Picture Sex Symbol”. The family brainstorms ideas: Brad Pitt, George Clooney, David Hasselhoff. Finally, they come up with their answer: Mojo! Every answer on the board turns out to be some version of Mojo and thus, he wins this round of negotiations. Sunspot begins to protest saying “Oh, this is bull—.” As the winner, Mojo gets to name the first condition of their deal --- Sam and Bobby will produce eight movies in one month!
As the losers of round one, Sam and Bobby get to pick the next game. They ask how they know what to pick and Major Domo provides them with a list of choices. Sam enthusiastically suggests “Mojowood Squares” and says that he loves Jim J. Bullock! ‘Berto suggests that it might be a whole board full of Mojos and they should pick something random and points to a Mojo version of “Press Your Luck”. Sam agrees since the game’s rules would allow them to avoid Mojo with the chant “No Mojos!” Despite their hopes, the game is clearly rigged in Mojo’s favor and he wins the round, despite Sam’s heartfelt chants of “Big bucks, no Mojos!” Mojo sets Rule #2: If they fail to make the allotted number of movies in the given time, they both become his slaves for all time!
Once again, Sam and Bobby get to pick the game. They ask if they have to stick to the recommended game list and despite Mojo’s orders, Major Domo tells them they can pick any game they like. Cannonball points out that Mojo only knows TV stuff and so they pick a popular tabletop game: Helicarrier (The Marvel equivalent of Battleship!) Mojo calls for E4… every time and Sam swiftly sinks his Helicarrier winning them the round! They decide to choose full creative control over actors, story and budget.
Next up is a Mojoworld version of $100,000 Pyramid. Mojo plays with Major Domo and every category is “Things that are Mojo.” Major Domo gets Mojo to guess it with clues like “Yellow and obnoxious” before moving on to “Fat, rotund, grossly obese” Mojo warns him to “Watch it” and moves on to safer prompts such as “Master, owner, boss.” Naturally, Bobby and Sam get much tougher categories like “Things that are Cerulean” and “Things that are Corporeal”. Bobby gives clues for one category that at first stumps Sam “Selene…the Black Queen”. Sam guesses “Things that you fight”. Bobby adds “Amara… Betsy” and Sam guesses “Things that are Attractive.” Finally, Roberto adds “Uh… your sister Paige.” Sam puts his hand to his forehead and says “Things you made out with” which proves to be the correct category. ‘Berto smiles and says “Sorry.” Despite guessing this category correctly, the pair of mutants lose the round and Mojo sets yet another rule. Rule #4: Mojomedia, Inc. owns all the rights to the movies you make.
Sam and Roberto stick to their winning strategy and Mojo loses at Clue with his guess of “Longshot with the light bulb in the media room” Roberto picks their next deal point, they get to choose who distributes the films! Mojo chooses the next challenge “AMERICAN ANNIHILATORS” featuring giant killer robots. Sam and Roberto take one look at the monstrously huge mechanoids and decide to pass on this one. Mojo adds the caveat “The distributor you choose must be located in the Mojoverse” as Rule #6.
For the final round, Sam and Roberto choose Connect Four and easily best Mojo. Sunspot asks him if he realizes that this game is marked for ages 7 and up. Mojo pounds his fist on the board as Roberto declares their final rule “While making our movies you have to supply us with all the hot girls and fruity drinks we want!” Mojo declares this a deal and Major Domo gets to work on the paperwork. He reminds the mutants that all powers are suspended until they fulfill the contract. He tells them that the allotted month of production time will begin as soon as the papers are signed. When he asks if there’ll be anything else, Mojo demands that every board game in the Mojoverse be destroyed. Domo agrees and asks if there’s anything for Sam and Roberto. Bobby replies “Sure. Bring us the finest of your women and booze!” and ruffles Sam’s hair playfully.
