After recent events, Cable’s body has been rejuvenated but is rapidly ageing towards his regular age. Deadpool decides to do him a favor and takes him to Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
When Deadpool asks him about his seventeenth birthday, Cable tells Deadpool but it, but adds that he isn’t exactly sure if it was his birthday, because he doesn’t know his exact date of birth. Deadpool agrees that being born to a clone and then being transported to the future must be murder on civil service records. Cable responds that he is reasonably certain that he spend his day like any other:
(Cable’s tale)
An oil rig-like city or base is being attacked by men in gliders. The protectors have claws and long arms, while the men in gliders use advanced energy weapons. Their leader is a young Cable.
(present)
Deadpool thinks that Cable spent his time telekinetically undressing hot future babes.
Cable tells Deadpool that he really is still an idiot. Deadpool agrees. Cable points out that his planned “last night” turned out to be rather disappointing. Deadpool claims that he couldn’t know that the town wouldn’t live up to its name. Cable tells him that it’s the thought that counts.
He asks Deadpool to tell the waitress that he’s old enough to drink. Deadpool responds, that at the moment, Cable isn’t old enough to drink and he won’t have a ward of his getting drunk on his watch. Cable tells Deadpool that he is not his ward. He tries to convince the waitress that he’s older than he looks, but the waitress refuses to give him a drink without an ID
(Cable’s tale)
In his time, the Canaanites had been infecting soldiers with nannite bombs, which would turn the soldiers into unwilling and unknowing suicide bombers. Cable and his forces had tracked their production factory to the East-Siberian Sea.
(present)
Deadpool is disappointed that, thousands of years in the future, Halliburton still can’t come up with something better than nannites. Cable replies that in his time humans and mutants had been fighting themselves and each other for so long that any method of murder was long overused. Deadpool thinks it sounds like fun times.
(Cable’s tale)
Cable runs after one of his own men. When he gets close he pushes a button on the detonator he’s holding and there is an explosion in front of him. Cable looks shocked.
(present)
Cable asks Deadpool about his seventeenth birthday. Deadpool is dismissive: he spent it like every other day. Cable thinks that it sounds like hard times, but Deadpool replies that there wasn’t much to do for a dumb kid in Ohio. Cable didn’t know that Deadpool was from Ohio, but Deadpool replies that he isn’t. His father was in the army, his mother died when he was five years old and they moved around a lot. Cable asks if that’s where Deadpool got his discriminating international tastes. Deadpool replies that he can say chimichanga in seven languages.
(Deadpool’s tale)
A sports car is bouncing and the legs of a person stick out: obviously a couple is having sex in it. The sports car is in front of a derelict house. Inside,Wade’s father has a beer bottle in one hand and his belt in the other, about to hit the young Wade Wilson. Wade holds up his arm to protect himself.
(present)
Cable asks if Deadpool’s father is still alive. Deadpool replies that he’s not, he went on a bender like he always did and then he got himself shot. Cable apologizes. Deadpool doesn’t understand why. Cable replies that he had brother-in-arms and kinsmen, but never a father like Deadpool had and to know your father and then have it turn out that way. Deadpool doesn’t want to ruin Cable’s “Opie’s World” version of life, but life usually is crap.
(Deadpool flashback)
His father on the floor in a bar, shot in the chest. A gun is visible but not the person holding the gun.
(present)
Cable doesn’t believe that. Deadpool understands: a miserable, self-righteous turd like Cable would have to be optimistic. Cable responds that he could never lose hope. Deadpool replies that he never could afford hope. Cable wonders how Deadpool could ever live that way. Deadpool says that he once tried to have hope, but it didn’t work out. He figured he would be better off without it.
(Deadpool flashback)
A young Wade crying next to the sickbed of his mother, his father is standing by stoically.
(present)
Cable asks if it was his mother’s death that started off his father’s problems. Deadpool says it was; he hid a rough patch and after that started to acting up to get attention or to just feel something.
(Deadpool flashback)
Various scenes of Wade as a kid acting up: torturing a frog with fireworks while two kids look on shocked, beating up another kid with glasses and trashing a car with a baseball bat.
(present)
Cable asks if they are still talking about Wade’s father. Wade changes the subject; he admits that his life is like anything you could see in any ten Scorsese movies, but Cable has been fighting since he got out of diapers. He wants to know what it is that Cable is fighting for.
Cable moans that he really needs a beer, but Deadpool is not easily deterred. He wants to know if Cable really is just “fighting for peace.” Cable responds that it never was simple: for hundreds of years mutants had fought for equality and humans for survival. Hundreds more humans were fighting for freedom and after that mutants were fighting each other. Deadpool wants to know what for. Cable replies that they were fighting for equality, survival and freedom. Deadpool points out that it sounds like an endless loop. Cable admits it is.
(Cable’s flashback)
Cable and his fellow soldier are fighting their way through a mass of Canaanites.
Deadpool asked if he kept on fighting. Cable responds that you can’t stop if the other side is run by a madman who made Hitler look like a camp counselor. Deadpool thinks that was the plot for Meatballs 2.
Deadpool notices that Cable is almost back to his regular age. Cable can’t find a mirror. Deadpool replies that it is probably for the best. Cable thinks that Deadpool really isn’t in any position to make ugly jokes. Cable wonders what happened to Deadpool after his father died.
Wade responds that he was 17 and a high school dropout. The army took him in, he joined Special Forces, was removed for being too good, became a mercenary, got cancer, joined Weapon X, had a problem with diarrhoea in St. Louis and that brings them pretty much up to date. Cable thinks it sounds simple. Deadpool responds that things are not always complicated. His old man got what he had coming and he had to live his life. It’s best not to mope about it and just deal with it.
(Deadpool’s flashback)
Wade is playing pool in a bar and harassing an old drunk. His friends are looking and laughing, when his father enters. His father is sober and in full uniform and takes Wade with him.
(present)
Cable sees what Deadpool is saying. Deadpool continues: even if life is always crappy, like Cable’s daily schedule “Breakfast. Fight. Lunch. Fight. Dinner. Fight. Sleep. Wake-up. Fight. Breakfast. Fight.” Cable makes a bitter joke about sometimes skipping breakfast. Deadpool points out that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Cable asks Deadpool if life chose him or if he chose life. Deadpool doesn’t understand. Cable explains: he never thought he had a choice so hard choices were easier to make. You just did what you had to survive. Deadpool points out that now it is Cable who is making things seem too simple. Cable responds that it wasn’t simple, but just that there were not many options available beyond survival and death. In the end, there was not much choice beyond survival and death. He concludes that life chose him.
(Cable tale)
Cable and the other soldier have entered the core of the nannite facility. Cable threatens one of the mutant scientists with blades from his armor and the frightened scientist points at a screen that shows where the nannite-infected people are. Cable looks at the screen and is shocked to see one of the marks exactly at the place he is.
(present)
Deadpool never gave the question much thought. Cable doesn’t believe him. Deadpool responds that he chose life to choose for him. Cable thinks that is a terrible cop-out. Deadpool wants to know if he’s talking about the answer or the choice. Cable tells Deadpool to tell him. Deadpool doesn’t want to tell him, it just was what it was. Cable thinks there is a difference between delving too deep and just completely denying something happened.
Wade wants to know if Cable accuses him of not telling the truth. Cable responds that he believes that Wade is not telling the truth to himself and wants to know how Wade’s father died. Wade still holds on to the previous version of his father getting shot in a bar fight. Deadpool changes the subject back to Cable’s story.
(Deadpool’s flashback)
Wade’s father pushes him out of the bar, but behind him one of Wade’s friends grabs a bottle and hit Wade’s father in the head. Wade’s father lying on the floor again, shot in the chest, but this time he is wearing his uniform instead of regular clothes.
Cable tells Deadpool that the nannites had been implanted in hundreds of his soldiers everywhere, including one of his teammates right at the Siberian facility. The bombs could be triggered with just a thought, so Cable did what he could to destroy the Canaanites ability to trigger the bombs. Deadpool wonders if this was life choosing Cable or Cable choosing life.
(Cable tale)
Cable sees the facility marked on the map and looks at his fellow soldier. He shoots the machinery the scientists have, hoping to destroy the detonator with it.
Deadpool stands up and asks Cable to pay the tab. The waitress walks over the Cable and tells him that she can’t let a minor there without adult supervision. She adds that he is cute though, so he should come back when he’s older. Cable turns around and the waitress sees that he’s the old Cable now. Cable asks if he can get a beer now. The waitress drops her plate with beers in surprise.
Outside, Deadpool thinks back to the events surrounding his father’s death and how his father was always in his face and always trying to stop him from screwing up.
(Deadpool’s flashback)
Wade is shocked to see one of his friends hitting his father. His friend grabs his father’s gun and aims it at Wade’s father. Wade jumps at his friend and hits his friend, causing his friend to pull the trigger. He turns around and sees his father with a bullet hole in his chest. His father falls over. Wade drops to his knees, while his friend stands still, looking shocked.
Cable leaves the bar and thinks back to the events in the nannite factory.
(Cable’s flashback)
One of the scientists activates a detonator and the soldier with Cable feels something in his chest or otherwise uses a scanner and tells the soldier that there is a bomb in his chest. The soldier panics and runs away, Cable grabs the detonator and runs after him. The soldier runs outside towards the rest of Cable’s troops, so Cable is forced to hit the button and detonate the bombs inside the soldier.
Outside Intercourse, Pennsylvania, Cable asks Deadpool for the truth. Deadpool responds that Cable should tell the truth first. Both walk away in silence.
