Irene Merryweather, Cable's former chief of staff, reminisces about the six weeks since Cable died. She is conflicted about all the great book deals being offered her to write the obituary of this man that she loved. Domino, former lover of Cable, explains that, since the weeks that the Marauders killed Cable on his haven island Providence, she spent the first half debriefing S.H.I.E.L.D. and the second half drinking. She wonders what direction she should take when she has nowhere to go.
Alex Hayden, Agent X, explains that after hiring Deadpool as primary field agent at his mercenary agency, he suggested Deadpool take some time off to grieve his friend Cable. Maybe he should get himself a “Boss of the Year” plaque. Finally, Bob, Agent of HYDRA, wonders which direction to talk to us, the all-seeing readers, as well as if we know his full identity. He only joined HYDRA for the health insurance and, oh wait, he's out of space.
In a shipping port known to contraband, in Benghazi, Libya, Wolverine stalks in the shadows. The malleable ceramics from Madripoor and the Tachyon monofilament tubing from India has piqued his curiosity. Bad news for the random guard he stabs through the chest. Tearing a piece of cloth from the guard’s uniform, he confirms his suspicions: it is the HYDRA symbol.
A massive statue of Cable has been erected in Barjnov, Rumekistan with a small inscription in a foreign language. Deadpool admires it but comments that, while nice, they were a bit too generous around the naughty bits. He admits that Cable could make that Techno-Organic Mesh rise to the occasion though. There sure were a lot of flowers that people left last week, he comments, but he really thought Cable would be back by now. Just how long does it take to time travel, or clone yourself, or whatever lame explanation they're going to come up with when he returns?
Suddenly, Deadpool's eyes narrow and draws his katana. “I'm not in the mood,” he growls. Cyclops steps out of the shadows and claims he is only there to pay his respects as a father should for a fallen son. Might have been nice if Cyclops had tried that while Nate was still alive, Wade snaps. It's complicated, Cyclops answers before reading the statue's description. “In memory of Nathan Dayspring Askani'Son, A cable that linked a dark past to a bright future.” They sure can fit a lot on just a few squiggly lines, Deadpool observes. After a moment of silence, Wade turns to Cyclops and states that Scott should have been on Providence where his son needed him. While Cyclops claims he can't be everywhere, he did come to make amends. The X-Men need Deadpool's help. His eyes widen in excitement.
In New York City in the Agency X office, Sandi doesn't understand why the X-Men don't just do it themselves. Wade answers that they know better than to get involved when Wolverine goes on a clawabout. Outlaw explains to a confused Sandi, that a “clawabout” is like a walkabout but with claws. Bob, Agent of HYDRA, expresses his relief at being kidnapped from the base by Deadpool before Wolverine showed up. After Captain America and maybe Elektra, Wolverine is the one all agents are trained to fight against. The courses included “Tactics of Retreat 101,” “Advanced Tactics of Surrender” and “Hiding Places 301.”
Wade explains to the assembled group, including his obese boss Alex Hayden, that Cyclops knew Wade had hit the place recently and so could break in quickly and quietly... Well, at least quickly. Alex wants to know why Wolverine would care about any of this, to which Wade replies that Wolverine's bad history with HYDRA has him always putting a claw to their neck. Also, since Wade left, there is a new sector boss putting together a diabolical plan. Everyone looks at Bob, but he denies any knowledge. He keeps up with his blog but has had all access to his URL link severed after he was kidnapped-- uhm, liberated.
Wade explains that Wolverine was tracking a bunch of shipments that were headed to Bob's former base. Bob denies said ownership as he only made 45K a year. Sandi and Outlaw wonder if Wade will take out the commander before Wolverine and why not just let Wolverine handle the job? Deadpool finishes with an explanation that his pal Weasel is a prisoner at the base. Asking Bob for confirmation, Wade asks what is left standing or breathing after Wolverine hits a HYDRA base. Bob recites that “not a single brick or lung is left.” Wade knows that his pal is in deep between this new commander and Wolverine.
Weasel looks at himself in the mirror. Dressed in a HYDRA uniform, he coaches himself on his “HAIL HYDYA!” voice, telling himself he should add more James Earl Jones. Two Hydra agents enter his room, which looks suspiciously unlike that of a prisoner. They inform him that they are ready for him and that for his sake this better work. In a large room, Weasel stands beside one of two large rings placed on opposite ends of the room. He stands before a mass of agents and proudly yells HAIL HYDRA! and receives many HAIL HYDRA!s back. To the many gentlemen and no ladies, which Weasel comments they should really do something about, he presents his device that will allow them to attack whoever and whenever they want. This device is “The Penetrator!”
When some of the agents question the provocative and gratuitous nature of the name, Weasel passionately explains why they are wrong. The Penetrator will penetrate the warm walls of mother Earth! It will ram home their agenda and Hydra will thrust themselves into the womb of civilization! Weasel wants to know what's so gratuitous about that? “HAIL HYDRA!” he exclaims as the machine powers on.
Weasel orders them to send through the courageous test subject as both rings crackle with energy, forming portals. Two agents stand next to Weasel and inform him that there has been a change of plans. Weasel can be the test subject they explain as they shove him through the portal screaming. Thank God it worked, whispers Weasel as he emerges from the second ring portal. Of course it worked, he corrects himself. Standing triumphantly before the agents, fists held high, he explains that with the teleport technology he, their former prisoner, invented, they will create an army of teleporting warriors. Weasel whips them into a flurry of Hail HYDRA!s with his speech that nothing can stop their destiny to rule over all!
Outside, two guards get pulled into the darkness by Wolverine in stealth mode. Deadpool observes him through infrared goggles as he takes out one of the guards. Dang, thinks Deadpool. Dang what? asks Bob. Did I say that out loud, asks Deadpool. Yes replies Bob. Deadpool slides down the side of the hill they were using for cover and explains that he has to stop Wolverine from making his move. Otherwise, Weasel might get killed by accident. Bob insists on staying hidden in case Wolverine gets confused by his presence, but Deadpool refutes him by saying that he might need Bob to trade for Weasel. Bob is surprised by this plan of being traded, but Deadpool assures him it’s his Plan B, Plan Z even. He would much prefer keeping Bob and Weasel both. Hesitantly, Bob follows, asking what are the chances that even Deadpool screws up 25 other plans?
Wolverine sniffs his way down the corridors and happens upon two agents discussing how they heard “it” will be modified into personal armor. They will be able to teleport and kick butt anywhere. It will be like an international butt party. “That didn't come out right,” is the last statement either utters before being dropped by Wolverine. He pauses and seems to smell something in the air.
Elsewhere, a massive explosion throws Hydra agents around like rag-dolls. Deadpool narrates that stealth ninja tactics can kiss his scabby heinie. Bob ducks and yells out his name in hopes the agents won't to shoot him. As Deadpool mows down agents with machine gun in one hand and bazooka in the other, he mentally sees Bob's actions as a good and courageous strategy, drawing the fire towards him and away from Deadpool. As Bob screams in terror, Deadpool assumes himself that, while he can't hear him, Bob must be encouraging Deadpool to press on. Bob sure is brave. Wade yells out for Weasel as his katana slices through more agents.
Two agents guard Weasel as he tinkers on some kind of torso shaped device. Weasel explains that, even if he finishes one of the devices, they won't be able to mass produce them fast enough to fight off the attacker. They encourage him to hurry it up because Deadpool is the attacker, who is their like fourth, fifth, or possibly sixth biggest threat. An intrigued Weasel murmurs, Deadpool you say...?
Blasting and slicing through still more countless agents, Deadpool proclaims that he will kill every last one of them if they don't tell him where Weasel is, but then admits he will probably need to keep at least one alive. Bob treads carefully behind him, apologizing to his former coworkers. One of them he thinks is his friend Harry, but realizes that the barely conscious groan doesn't sound like him.
“DEADPOOL!” yells a voice from behind Wade. He turns to find Weasel dressed in a Hydra uniform with a weird helmet and chest plate glowing with the teleportation energy. Weasel commands him to stop this senseless slaughter or he will teleport Deadpool far away from here. One of the fallen agents points to Weasel and declares that the Penetrator will save them all, to which Weasel confirms that it really is him, the “PeneTRAITor!”
The penetrator, smirks Deadpool. As agents encircle Deadpool looking suddenly confident, Weasel explains that he can penetrate places with his teleportation matrix, thus he is the Penetraitor. Okay then, Deadpool agrees as the other surrounding agents level there weapons at him. Unimpressed, Deadpool manages to quickly drop all of them with his dual wielded pistols. Leaving only Bob and Weasel standing.
Deadpool tells Weasel that it’s time to get him out of there and Weasel is surprised that Deadpool knew it was him despite the Penetraitor armor. Weasel then exclaims that there is one more behind Wade, who instinctively turns and shoots a protesting Bob through the thigh. Oh, dang – that was my friend Bob, well you know more like a pet or minion. He was planning on trading him for Weasel. Both Bob and Weasel ask if that is true, to which he tells Weasel sure it is and Bob of course not. Besides, they don't have time for this, they need to get out of there.
Suddenly the sound SNIKT causes Deadpool to pause and Bob to start freaking out. He was taught to run from that sound in training class, but with his leg he can't run. Wolverine is revealed next to his logo and it is explained that he is so cool his name can't be captioned by regular letters. Deadpool drops the injured Bob and congenially greets his “buddy,” explaining that one of their fellow X-Men asked him to come here. Deadpool refers to Cyclops, the tall guy with no sense of humor that manages to always score hot chicks somehow. Deadpool walks over reasoning that with this place trashed, they can all leave together, grab a brew and steak and give this whole Hydra mad-on of his a rest. “So... whaddyou say?” asks Deadpool grabbing Wolverine's shoulder.
Wolverine quickly slices Deadpool's head clean from his shoulders. His head bounces a few times on the floor stopping by Bob and Weasel's feet. The two look very distraught as Wolverine holds up his bloodied claws and asks who's next.