Chapter 1:
San Francisco, Deadpool’s house, aka “the Deadhut.”
Blind Al and Deadpool are at the attic. Al thinks that Wade has gone crazy, and that his problem is DHB! It’s a short for Deadly Hormonal Backups. Wade has got testosterone going from up to his ears, and they are eating up his brain. Wade, ignoring Al’s warnings, asks if she has seen his jammies with the feet on, the one with those comfy thin spots worn in the butt?
Elsewhere, at a restaurant…
A group of people are talking about Bobby Two-Tones. He took one of through his victim’s auditory canal, and brains splattered all over Bobby’s new BMW. Another man thinks that’s nothing, as she left his brother with a Colombian necktie that hung down to the kneecaps she lopped off!
Long Island, the Gutman institute…
While a repair crew works on the damage, a doctor shows someone in a red suit where the bulk of the damage took place. It used to be their Dayroom. The man wants to know more.
Deadpool’s house…
Al is angry that Wade is not listening to her. Wade did, but he simply doesn’t care. Wade asks Al to go ensure herself now and go watch Matlock or something. He’s got some packing to do. Al wants to know, if he knows Mary is dangerous, why he is tagging along with her.
First reason: Wade has to protect his investment. That crazy woman still owes him some money, which he tends to get. Second reason: the choice between a dangerous liaison in the Big Apple, or sitting around in this dump hearing Al whine is a no-brainer.
The restaurant…
One of the visitors thinks that the others have got to admit that it’s sort of an… art to the way she can disembowel a guy before he hits the ground. The others agree, and agree it’s a thing of beauty. The woman of the group bets this old burg gets a lot more interesting now that she’s back in town. The woman is just glad that she isn’t on the death list. An other guy laughs, realizing that, with a crazy woman like that, anyone of them could be her next masterpiece.
The Gutman institute…
The doctor tells the man in the red suit that his patient’s results were promising. Dr. Katz seemed to have wrapped up at least two of the patient’s personalities, but the doctor himself thinks Katz left the wrong one intact. The man in the red suit agrees. There could be nothing more wrong than this “personality.” Another mental patient notices the man in the red suit, and thinks that the devil has come to get her!
Deadpool’s house…
Al mentions that, the more jokes Wade makes, the more confident she gets he is covering up something. Wade thinks it’s cute when Al gets jealous, and kisses her on the forehead. Al agrees, joking that she’s Lola Falana. Al sarcastically wishes Wade a crappy trip, and he better brings her home a nice present, or else he doesn’t have to bother coming back. Wade promises to do that, and is ready to leave. Oh, before he forgets to tell her, Wade has hid all of Al’s medications, so she has got something fun to do while he’s gone.
The restaurant...
Everyone gets quiet, thinking about the possibility of each one being the next victim. They grab their cell phones, asking about erasers, as fast as possible. Another one’s agent fails to locate Bullseye, and instead orders to get his Rolodex. Another man orders his agent to go find him a hitman.
The Gutman institute…
The mental patient thinks that the devil has come for her. She has had dreams about him, and thinks he’s here to take back to hell. Daredevil gently touches the woman, mentioning that hell is no place for an angel like her. She can stop worrying. Matt is here for someone else… someone who actually belongs in hell!
Chapter 2
Daredevil scouts the night city, and takes it completely into him. He’s thinking about Typhoid Mary. Every smell of the city sputters upwards from pestering alleys, every fugitive vibration ricochets around the glass and steel canyon. Matt lets it all slap him in the face as he plummets seventy stories, trying to fill his head with adrenaline and bloodrush. With this, Matt hopes to overwhelm his hyper-senses, clog his mind and trying to obliterate Mary’s face. The memory of her lips. The taste of her lips. It’s not enough.
The floodgates open. Daredevil can’t stop thinking about the day he and Typhoid Mary kissed one another. And now, Mary has returned, as all plagues do. It’s like the sirens of “The Odyssey,” who could drive a man insane with a few notes of their song. Typhoid Mary can captivate with a mere glance. She took Daredevil over the edge, and he fell. Hard. What Matt did to Mary, with her, and then later on in order to defeat Mary, it’s too hard. Matt’s soul won’t allow him to fully recollect.
Despite this, it all happened a long time ago. Matt thinks he’s better and stronger now. This time, he won’t be dragged down into Mary’s sickness. He won’t. Mat sniffs around, and concludes that he’s at the right place. Doctor Kantz keeps his office here in Midtown. Matt hopes that perhaps Kantz’ private notes will reveal something about Mary Matt didn’t know before.
Suddenly, he stops thinking. He smells a horrible stench. It hits Matt before his radar senses even register what’s happened in the next room: Kantz and his helpers have been murdered! Air currents whistle through unnatural cavities in the corpses. Daredevil can smell that Typhoid took her time with the doctor. There are postmortem staging. Rope from off-site, indications that Mary had thought this through ahead of time. She’s living out a fantasy. In the back of his head, Matt hears the sirens warming up for their big number!
Elsewhere downtown…
Deadpool and Weasel have arrived. To celebrate, Deadpool has already attacked some cab driver and exploded the poor guy’s car. He orders the gangsters to spread the word that he’s in town. Weasel enjoys a good fight like the next guy, but he fears that this little escapade will get them the attention of the cops. Wade jokes that that’s exactly the reason why Wade doesn’t get any girls: he never takes time to enjoy the moment. The cab driver desperately apologizes to Deadpool. It’s only his first day on the job, and he really was lost. He fears that Wade is going to kill him.
That’s actually the fifty-dollar question. Wade wants to let all the by-standing crowd of watching people decide. He asks their opinion. They aren’t really sure, and want to know if the cab driver really committed a crime. Wade thanks the crowd for that excellent question. He points his gun at the cab driver, and demands the truth. Scared, the cab driver admits that he was trying to raise up the price, because Deadpool and his friend were two dumb people from Wisconsin.
The entire crowd gets against the cab driver and demands some blood. Weasel tells Wade that, if he’s really going to do it, he better hurries up. Wade instead jokes around, and rubs over the crying cab driver’s head and then runs away.
A few moments later, further away from Deadpool and Weasel…
The events of Deadpool’s little escapade can be already heard on the news. The reporter mentions that the shocked cab driver was left with nothing but… a wedgie. The TV gets turned off. Typhoid Mary, after a short battle with her new victims, tells a judge that she doesn’t know how he does it. Living in a town that’s so violent. She, on the other hand, notices so much fun and would simply go mad with all the possibilities. The judge tries to crawl up from under the table Mary trapped him under, but has the hardest time.
Mary continues to say that she knows that this town has so-called “heroes.” “Protectors.” But, the judge’s current predicament sort of disproves that argument. Nothing can protect them from destiny. They are on a collision course, each and every one of the people living on Earth. Mary knows that this statement counts for angels and devils alike. She asks the judge what type of man he is. She takes out her sword, and kills the judge! Sarcastically, she walks away, wanting to introduce Deadpool to Daredevil, and Daredevil to… death!
The next day, at the Sharpe, Nelson and Murock office building…
Deadpool, having used his image inducer to look like a clerk, calls out for some help in an attempt to find Foggy. A security guard tries to stop Wade, as he is trespassing since he doesn’t belong there. Wade jokes that he does belong, as the balloons he holds, he was ordered to deliver them in person.
An angry Rosalind comes out of her office, asking who’s looking to be unemployed in a few moments. Wade jokes that it suddenly dropped fifteen degrees here. The woman is so cold it’s no wonder she has an Eskimo for a secretary. Rosalind tries to keep her cool, asking Wade what he wants. Wade defends that he has got to deliver his balloons. Upset, Rosalind asks Sunny, the security guard, to escort Wade out of the building. He is glad to do it.
Wade gets upset, and puts his elbow in Sunny’s stomach! He remembers the guard that he told him to keep his hands off him. Wade doesn’t give up, and keeps shouting at Rosalind. Foggy, with his dog, enters, and wants to know what’s going on. Wade reads the card hanging on the balloons, as they come from someone who wants Daredevil or else Foggy will get killed. The dog starts to angrily bark at Wade, but he shouts at the animal to stay quiet!
Meanwhile, Matt has just returned to the office building. He had actually hoped to slip inside and look up the name of the judge that put Typhoid in the mental institution. But as soon as Matt heard the loud noises as he entered the elevator, he realized that his attention was needed. He’s even picking up the sounds of gun oil, plastic explosives and latex. And, suddenly, he thinks he sees… balloons?
Wade recognizes Deadpool, and wants to know what that crazy mercenary is doing there, dragging Foggy outside. Matt senses a slight magnetic distortion around Deadpool’s body, meaning he’s using his image inducer, but Matt is certain it’s the merc. Deadpool, not recognizing Daredevil out of his costume, tells the blind man to step aside, as he’s got a date with the “Redman.” Not wanting people to find out about his super hero identity, Matt decides he best plays the “helpless blind lawyer act until he can find a good chance to escape and change clothes.
Deadpool walks towards a window, and breaks it apart! Wade, together with Foggy hostage, jumps through it! Both Rosalind and Matt panic, and Matt suspects that Deadpool has gone completely crazy now. Rosalind and Sunny look down, but can find no trace of Foggy or Deadpool. Matt feels the wind whistling, and suspects that there’s a cord hanging around. Wade and Foggy are on the roof!
Meanwhile, Wade has the hardest time climbing up the roof, thanks to Foggy being overweight. Wade jokes that Foggy should try going to a gym every now and then. He remembers that none of the lawyers on L.A. Law being so fat. Foggy begs Wade not to drop him. Wade tells Foggy to quit his whining, as he won’t do that. He wants Foggy to listen to him.
On top of the roof, Weasel is complaining. He recalls Wade asking him to tag along to New York, promising that they’d go shopping and go see a show of “Cats.” But what happens? Weasel ends up being siege for Daredevil’s loser friend. Though Weasel would never complain or say it to Wade’s face, he knows that there are much more subtle ways to catch Daredevil’s attention. Of course, tact isn’t Wade’s strongest point.
Wade has finally made it to the top. He helps Foggy up, and remembers him to look all helpless until Daredevil shows up, and Wade will do the rest. Wade asks for a hand up. He gets one, but the grip is all Kung-Fu like. Not realizing what’s wrong, he goes up, and finds out that he has been helped by… Daredevil! This is awkward. Daredevil welcomes Deadpool, as it’s been a long time since they last saw each other, though Matt wished that it had been a little longer. Wade agrees and says hi too. He would have said, “Long time no smell,” but that would have been sarcastic, seeing they are in Hell’s Kitchen.
Daredevil mentions Wade that he has no time to waste on him, so he wants to hear a good reason why he shouldn’t just finish him off. Wade will give Matt two. First, it would ruin Daredevil’s honorable standing in the Girl Scouts, the second starts with “Typhoid” and ends with “Mary,” who was recently declared as a looney-tune. While Foggy points a gun at Weasel to keep him at bay, Matt tells “Carpool” to spill it out, or else he’s still finish him off.
Deadpool mentions that recently, he and Mary have become… friends (for the lack of a better word). Mary told Wade, during a tender moment in a firefight, that she wanted to murderize Daredevil himself for doing her wrong, and take out anyone who ever looked in his general direction, just for fun. Even Wade knows that’s pretty ambitious for someone in Mary’s… mental condition, so he came to put the kibosh on the field trip. Wade knows that Mary’s a sick puppy, and he thinks Daredevil knows that too or he wouldn’t have her put away in the first place.
Wade just wants to see that Mary gets the help she needs. Matt isn’t certain, and thinks about it. He would bet his Billy club that Deadpool is one of the unidentified perps who broke Typhoid out in the first place, but Matt senses that Wade is actually telling the truth! He can’t feel any deviation in Wade’s heartbeat at all. Matt wants to know, if he agrees with all this, why Wade kidnapped Foggy. Wade jokes that Matt isn’t listed under fashion-impaired-do-gooders, and the light’s out on the DD signal, so Wade figured Matt would want to help out his old friend.
Daredevil angrily shouts that Typhoid Mary is nobody’s friend. The woman is a plague. She is all that is chaotic and hurtful in human nature! Without Mary’s other personalities to keep her in check, she will break her victim, burn them and later on dance on their ashes. Wade knows that Mary’s dreamy. Matt wasn’t joking! He knows that Mary isn’t anyone’s friend: she’s a monster.
Wade knows that might be a possibility, but the monster family among them tend to stick together. Them freaks have to huddle up against the world that hates them, the world Matt so happily calls home. Wade realizes that Mary wasn’t born like this. She was manufactured and is somebody’s fault. Wade tells Daredevil that he might want to remember that while he is hunting her, just so he doesn’t put her down, permanently like, because it sounds like Mary got under Matt’s skin… deep.
Matt warns Deadpool not to presume to lecture him about morality. He will see Typhoid Mary back in the hands of professionals. He jumps off the roof, and thinks it’s fine if Wade wants to play backup. But, Matt also warns, once they found Mary, none-interference would be very good for Wade’s health. Wade thinks that this is going to be a barrel of laughs. He wants to know what happened to that sense of humor Daredevil supposedly discovered. Deadpool fires off his grabbling hook, and follows Daredevil. Unfortunately, the two completely ignore Weasel and Foggy, who are left behind.
Weasel can’t believe it: no thank you at all for him at all! Weasel asks Foggy if he knows how to use the gun he holds. Foggy defends that he does. Weasel isn’t so sure, as he has noticed that the safety is still on! The gun is about as dangerous as paperweight. Foggy is startled. Weasel changes the subject, asking if Foggy is really Daredevil’s friend. Weasel introduces himself as Deadpool’s whipping boy.
Foggy smiles, lying that it was his mother who started the whole press thing of him being Daredevil’s friend. Weasel suggests that, since Foggy isn’t going to shoot his brains out in the name of justice, they go eat something until their boys are back. That’s fine by Foggy, and they shake hands.
Later, at an exclusive high-raise on Central Park-East…
Deadpool wants to know if they are there yet. Matt, angry, wants to know why Wade keeps asking him that. Wade jokes it’s because he’s waiting for Matt to say “Not yet, my little Smurf.” He thinks Matt never watched any cartoons. Matt sighs, wishing that it was not the eyes but the ears that didn’t work on his body. They land on a roof. Daredevil warns Wade to listen to him. He explains that the judge who put Typhoid away lives here. He thinks she’ll arrive here soon. Wade likes the place, thinking he should maybe trade in his Magnum for a gavel. Though of course, he’s hardly crooked enough.
Matt jokes that Wade is as stealthy as a freight train. He can’t believe that people actually hire him to sneak into places. Wade jokes that people know that, when they hire him, they hire style. They land in the front lawn. Matt suggests that he’ll start searching the ground floor and that Wade takes the roof. He doesn’t want Deadpool to take any chances and, if he sees Typhoid Mary, he has to scream. Wade thinks that’s okay, and wants to know is, after this, they can go to Central Park and look at all the tourists. Matt warns Wade that they are going to have a serious disagreement if Wade doesn’t shut up.
For all the good it does Matt, he reaches out with his hyper-senses, scanning every corner of the apartment. Though he knows he’d have a better luck finding Typhoid with a Braille horoscope and a divining rod. Something about the woman clouds Matt’s senses… almost rendering her invisible to him. He wonders if that could be the reason why his own heart rate just went up a few notches. Or, is it the fact that he is letting a known killer watch his back? He feels sorry for Deadpool, wondering if he even knows what he’s dealing with in Typhoid. Does Deadpool even care?
Elsewhere in the house, Deadpool hangs upside down and calls out to Mary, promising that she can have a Scooby Snack if she comes to him. Not getting a response, Wade thinks that the Redman got Mary all wrong, and that she isn’t there. Deadpool thinks that, if Daredevil really wants to catch Mary, he’ll have to crack open a brew and wait it out at home, because he’s the one she’s gunning out for. Jumping down and still not getting a response, Wade thinks he might as well go find Daredoofus and tell him that it’s murder being so right all the time. Suddenly, Wade gets a sword pointed at his throat!
It’s Typhoid Mary! She notices that her sweety is still leading with his mouth. She knows that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s also a great way to loose a head. She kicks Deadpool down. Wade knows he’s got to work on that. He should probably take up flossing, too. Mary knew that someday, her prince would come. She would just never expect him to be so easy to get the drop in. Wade jokes that they don’t make princes the way they used to. And incidentally, Wade is the prince formerly known as “Prince.” Suddenly, Mary kisses Wade!
Meanwhile, Daredevil has found another of Mary’s victims. Judging by the body’s temperature, Matt would say they missed Mary by about twelve hours. There’s nothing left for Matt to do than to press his ear to the ground and hope they can predict Mary’s next move. He suddenly hears a noise… running water? He wonders if Deadpool is taking a bath or something?
Mary has turned on the water so that the Redman can’t eavesdrop on them. Wade mentions that Daredevil is still scouting the first floor and can’t hear a thing. Mary explains that Wade would be surprised to learn what the devil is capable of. He shouldn’t underestimate him. Wade adds that Daredevil told him the same thing about Mary. It’s a regular mutual admiration society. But Mary doesn’t want to talk about Daredevil and just enjoy the moment… the heat… she could get used to this.
Deadpool asks Mary not to. He knows enough clichés not to mix business and pleasure. Bleach and ammonia, neither. He warns Mary that she’s still got a financial debt to pay off. She owes Wade big – double, in fact – since Wade went in for this little trip of hers. But, a happy employee is a productive employee, so Wade is game to help Mary set up the Redman. Daredevil still thinks that Wade is there to save her soul or some junk. He wants to know when Mary is going to hit Daredevil with the coup de grace?
Mary promises that will happen soon. She has a few loose ends to tie up, first. Deadpool wants an explanation about that. Mary claims that former… acquaintances of her also need her attention. After all, Daredevil wasn’t the only one that used her, though he was the best. Wade angrily corrects that wasn’t the deal. Mary mentions that her former doctors… who have finally stopped practicing. The good judge, who’s blood the devil is tripping through as they speak, are some of them.
Wade gets furious, and shouts at the psychopathic witch that he didn’t sign on for this. He didn’t agree to let Mary come here she could go on a killing spree! She told him that she was only after Daredevil. Mary confirms that she is. The others are warm ups… as they whet her blade. Deadpool doesn’t want anymore! Daredevil is one thing. He’s a player and one of them. But not those other guys. He wants to know who else is on Mary’s list.
Mary promises she won’t kill any more civilians. Deadpool doesn’t want to hear any more lies and wants this finished. Mary smiles with an evil grin, agreeing with Deadpool. However Wade wants it, she’ll give it to him. All he needs to do is spring the tap. But first, she wants to give Wade a little something to help him remember his lines.
Below, Daredevil hears a loud scream. It’s Deadpool’s. Matt panics and runs upstairs. He finds Wade, and smells blood. Matt immediately thinks about Typhoid and wants to know what happened. Deadpool explains that Mary tagged him… bad. He didn’t think she was really going to stab him like this. She shookered him, very unexpectedly. Wade really didn’t think that was going to happen, and he wants to make Mary pay. Matt promises they’ll go to a hospital.
Deadpool reveals that won’t be needed, as his healing factor is already kicking in, and that’s better than any experimental glue. He mentions to Matt that Mary told him about the judge and the doctors. He wants to go get her before Mary makes her next move. Daredevil asks Wade if he knows where she went. Wade, with a serious look, knows that indeed, and promises the Redman he’ll take him right to her.
Chapter 3
The Viper Club…
It’s an exclusive and trendy club. The gangsters from the restaurant are impressed, and think they should come there more often. One of their partners comes running, freaking out that Mary got their friend Vinnie the Elbow, and killed him in his own house! The partner wants to know if his boss is afraid of Typhoid Mary. He isn’t. Or, at least, not anymore. Three costumed thugs walk up to them, ready to take Mary on.
Not far away, on another rooftop, Deadpool and Daredevil are spying on the thugs. Wade mentions to Matt that all the Godfather rejects are holed up in one place, circling the Pasta wagons against the oncoming storm. It’s stupidity in numbers. You’ve got to love the mob. Wade jokes that it just hasn’t been the same since Matt took out the Kingpin. He really went and screwed up things. Daredevil takes that as a compliment.
Matt can hear the murmur of an army inside. The clink of guns and blades. They could probably take a small country. Matt realizes that they only barely take outgun Deadpool. Deadpool notices that a mob vendetta is going on as well. Mary must have had a lot of time on her hands between shock therapy and finger painting. Matt asks for a confirmation of Deadpool’s claiming that Mary is headed towards the Control Room.
Deadpool confirms. He asks Matt if he wants to flip for who gets to yell “Spoon” as they charge inside. Matt asks Deadpool to wait. He wants to talk before they go in, and things get too mixed up. Wade fears that they’re going to have a “not-so-fresh” moment. Daredevil warns Wade to not let Typhoid get to him. She has… a power over men. Wade may think that he’s got Mary figured out by now. But Matt wants Wade to believe him when he corrects that Wade hasn’t. He can’t even try it. All that lies there, is darkness.
Wade tells Redman that he doesn’t have to worry about him, as he already lives in the dark. He takes out his gun and prepares it for action. He jokes that the last one in who last kills a hero is a rotten hero! He jumps down. Matt asks Wade to wait, wanting to know how he can be certain that this isn’t a trap. Wade corrects that of course this is a trap! He just doesn’t want to disappoint anyone, as that would make them rude guests. Matt wants to know why he thought that having a sidekick might be a good idea.
Downtown, in a little place in the Village…
Foggy and Weasel have been eating in a diner for a while now. Foggy tells Weasel that he’s got to try the shrimp and peta cheese… it’s to die for! Weasel isn’t sure about it, as he’s actually kind of stuffed… unless, of course, Foggy is taking up the tab. Of course, Foggy will. What good is being a lawyer if you can’t splurge after a near-death experience? That’s good enough for Weasel, and he feeds his leftovers to a dog behind him.
Weasel wants to know what Foggy does as Daredevil’s friend. Must be something hot. Before Foggy can deny it, Weasel mentions that, one time, he rescued Deadpool’s bacon by plugging a guy right through the brainpan! That was cool. Foggy is disgusted by that, and he corrects that he doesn’t do anything like that. Weasel tells Foggy that he can tell it to him: does Daredevil make him clean his weapons, or hack into computers? Foggy denies that, as he and technology don’t mix that well. Weasel asks Foggy if Daredevil ever had him open any Tickins packages. Or used him for target practicing? Or drive him at 3 AM to Guns ‘R’ Us?
Foggy mentions that actually, he doesn’t have a license, and Daredevil doesn’t make him do anything. They just hang out… like pals. Weasel bangs his head down, as he’s surprised to hear that. He asks Foggy if Daredevil could use another friend. He promises he won’t get in the way. Foggy tries to cheer Weasel up, asking if he doesn’t like being Deadpool’s pal. Weasel corrects that it’s great. It’s the best. He asks Foggy if he wants to trade, as they’ll have fun. Weasel promises.
Elsewhere…
Daredevil and Deadpool jump through the skylight. The armed thugs open fire. Unfortunately, in the close quarters, many sounds and noises quickly overwhelm Matt’s hyper-senses, though he does his best to keep up. He has to focus completely just to hit what’s in front of him. He hopes that Deadpool can handle his own.
Looks like he can. Deadpool, while fighting one of the armed thugs, thinks he recognizes him as Bloodshot-Eyed-Ultra-Armored G.I. jerk! He wonders if that beard of the thug is made from real-life hair. Wade has had enough, as now… it’s Polka time! He takes out his gun, which is revealed to release super sonic noises. This makes it for Daredevil even harder to concentrate thanks to his hyper-senses, and throws his Billy club at the weapon, tossing it out of Wade’s hands. Deadpool wants to know why Dardevil did that, as his mom lets him play with guns in the house.
Daredevil warns that there will be no killing, as they won’t be dragged down to Typhoid’s level. In case Daredevil forgot, Deadpool mentions that he’s already sort of on that level. The point is taken. While taking out another armed thug, Daredevil corrects that Wade only kills for money. This would be pro bono! He wonders what the union would think.
Wade angrily wants to know who Daredevil thinks he is: a purist?! He kills guys for lots of reasons! He kills guys for looking at him funny, - which, incidentally, Dardevil does so he warns him- and Deadpool kills guys for talking down to him, which he noticed Daredevil also sometimes does. And sometimes, Deadpool likes to off a guy just for looking like a blind man dressed him. And that’s Daredevil as well! Come to think of it, if there’s anyone Wade was born to kill… it’s Daredevil! Sayonara, sucker!
At the Control Room, the gangsters can watch the battle on a big viewing screen. It’s like a war zone out there… and they think it’s beautiful! But they wonder what Daredevil is doing there, as this is for Mary. They also want to know where Mary is, as they can’t see her on the screen. Suddenly, Mary enters, and she has killed the gangsters’ guards. She asks them if she can offer anyone anything to drink before the screaming starts.
Daredevil wonders if he just heard Deadpool saying he was going to kill him. Suddenly, his senses feel one of Deadpool’s blades being thrown at him! Daredevil thinks he never should have trusted the merc. He ducks and, instead, the blade hits a thug! Glad that Deadpool wasn’t aiming at him, he still thinks the merc is insane. Deadpool calms Matt down, promising that the thug won’t die – he hopes – and that he was aiming for the spleen. After all, Deadpool always wondered what the spleen does. Isn’t it for digesting swallowed gum or something like that? Another gangster attacks Deadpool. He notices it in time, and throws the guy over his shoulder.
Finally, all the thugs are defeated. Deadpool thinks that was a decent workout. Richard Simmons would be proud – that is, if Wade wouldn’t snap the guy in two for being an affected dweeb -. He asks the horny one what he thinks. Matt smirks back that he agrees with whatever the acerbic one says. And now that they’ve separated the wheat from the chaff, Matt’s senses are back on-line enough to try and find Typhoid Mary.
Wade remarks that he doesn’t like the acerbic prank. He isn’t from Serbia… he’s adorable. Suddenly, gunshots can be heard from above. That has to be Mary. Wade tells Devil-Dog that he can go get her, before the thugs come back to their senses. Matt wants to know what will happen to Wade. Wade promises that he’ll be right behind Matt once he has cleaned up there, and then they’ll bring this to an end. Once Matt is gone, Deadpool asks the thugs that are getting up again if that wasn’t a great round of bleed-tag. Wade suggests that they play another of his favorite games “Hot Potato.” He takes out grenades, and has a serious look on his face.
Daredevil makes it to the Control Room. He knows that Mary is there. The absence of air in the room is enough. There’s also the smell of Mary’s skin, a poisoned perfume, and the heat. Again, he stretches his senses to their limits. Suddenly, Mary shouts very loud, welcoming Daredevil. The cry is so loud that Matt’s head almost impales. He doesn’t even hear himself scream. Then, there is only ringing, and Mary’s voice.
Matt falls upon his knees, trying to get himself back together. Mary approaches the fallen hero, joking that this is how she likes her men. She knew that Matthew would try to use his hyper-senses to find her, even though they are useless. A top-of-the-line audio system did the rest, as, after all, this is a club. She thanks Matt for being so predictable. She kneels before Matt, and asks how his life is. His girlfriend, his job? He doesn’t look so good.
Daredevil tries to tell Mary that she has to go back to her treatment, and give up this insanity. Mary smirks that nothing works better than shock therapy. So that’s what she is doing: shocking the system. She’s pursuing it, of every man who ever did little Mary wrong. But Matthew doesn’t have to worry: as always, Mary has been saving the best for him. She kicks Daredevil, and he screams! Matt, with little breath left, tries to convince Mary that she can fight Typhoid. She has made progress. Typhoid shouts that she has made progress. And he’s right: all that time in therapy helped here realize that little miss Mary Walker is dead! She tries to punch Matt, but he blocks it with his arm. He shouts that he can’t touch her.
Typhoid has killed Mary, and she doesn’t exist anymore. Typhoid has always been, and will always be there. Mary jokes that Matt didn’t shout not to touch her with much conviction. Is he trying to tell her to stay back, or convince himself that’s what he wants? She’ll make it easy for Matthew: she has made her choice. She has no intention with soiling herself with Matt’s touch ever again! She attacks him.
Daredevil can barely dodge her stroke, but luckily his head is clearing up a little. He notices that Mary strikes with no hesitation or remorse. He wonders if Mary Walker is truly gone. Typhoid shouts that this is about restitution and rebirth, not about reconciliation. Today, she’ll wipe Matthew from her life, him and all the others that caused her pain. This time, it’s for good. Mary turns away for a moment. Daredevil notices this, and, telling himself to focus, he tries to hit her from behind. But then, he gets stopped by… Deadpool?!
Meanwhile, the Village…
Weasel and Foggy are drunk. Foggy can’t remember the last time he did this: he can’t even remember his phone number. Weasel wonders how their “friends” are doing. Foggy thinks that the guys are getting along pretty well. He notices his dog, and actually can see two of them – though that’s only because he’s drunk”. Weasel doesn’t think that Daredevil and Deadpool will ever get along: it’s like oil and water, or heavy metal and opera.
Foggy is hungry, and suggests that they go back to his place and order some pizza. Weasel agrees, and helps Foggy up. He asks the guy if he’s got some cards at his home, so they can play Five Card Stud. Foggy has cards, but doesn’t know how to play it. But Weasel will teach him, and asks Foggy if he’s got the Playboy channel back home.
Elsewhere…
Deadpool punches Daredevil in his jaw! Typhoid is happy to see Wade, and hugs him. He just wants to get it over with. Daredevil wants to know why Deadpool and Typhoid are working together. Typhoid tells the devil that the last few days have been a purging for her. Now, she agrees with Deadpool and just wants to kill Daredevil, as he did her wrong.
Almost without breath, Matt tries to explain that he tried to help Mary, but she doesn’t believe that. She kicks Daredevil, telling him that, even though he loved her, he also left her so she could be poked and experimented upon. Yeah, that was thoughtful. But, there’s more, Mary concludes. Like all men in her life, Daredevil violated her life in ways he cannot fathom. It’s true that he never struck her in a drunken stupor or something, or never reached over to touch her in the dark of a movie theater. He never kicked a frightened girl out of a window and left her to die, or did he?
Deadpool interrupts, reminding Mary that he actually did all those things. Typhoid tells her sweety that he didn’t. She knows what Wade did, and forgives him because Wade triggered something in her, released a memory she had concealed. Truly, it was little Mary’s last image of true pain, and of a very special young man.
Daredevil doesn’t understand the window remark. He thinks that this is madness and tries to stand up again. Typhoid explains that she’s talking about a young man with piercing eyes… moves, still raw, but potent, bent on revenge. She asks Daredevil if her story is starting to sound familiar. She’s talking about a boy dressed to kill, with a spot in his heart to match… the boy who gave birth to her.
It was years ago, and little Mary had tripped away to the big city. She found herself in a brothel on the East side. Daredevil freaks out, and remembers. Mary had found a shelter from the storm… a putrescent to be sure, but she got to keep ten percent of whatever she earned and her customers were… almost human. Then, one night, he came. Like the scorching summer embodied, a young manling in search of a monster. It was a customer who had hurt someone he loved, a father. His righteousness was tangible. He never expected the girls to attack him. Or bite and scratch. The man panicked.
Typhoid smelled it on the man’s breath as he exhaled, lashed out… hard. It was Mary who was in the man’s way, and they fell through a window, from stories up. Even as she fell, Mary remembers thinking “this is the last time.” She promised herself never again to be hurt by a man. Everything that was weak in her, died that day. Everything Typhoid is today, was born. Born of him. Born… of Daredevil!
Daredevil can’t believe it. All these year he had thought that Mary was dead; she was alive! Typhoid confirms that she is, and… she can remember. Mary always knew that there was some kind of bond between them. But it was so deep she didn’t understand it, until Deadpool released her mind, and she saw Matthew in the boy who almost killed her. Wade jokes Mary that she’s welcome.
Everything hit Mary as if it were yesterday. It was like comparing snapshots. Before and afters. So, she had to come. She had to see the look on Matthew’s face once she had told him that, every man she has ever killed, every life she has shredded, the ocean of blood spilled on her hands, was all started because of him. She wants Daredevil to know this, and accept the responsibility. And then, he can die.
Daredevil, ashamed and sitting on his knees, mentions that he carried that moment with him for years. The Jasmine perfume Mary wore to kill the stench of her work, feel of her stomach as Matt made horrible contact, it was the biggest mistake he made in his entire life. But, he utterly refuses to accept responsibility for what Typhoid has become!
He proudly stands up again. Typhoid is angry. It was Matthew who drove the final spike! He caused the final schism! It was Daredevil who did this to Typhoid! He made her! Typhoid attacks Matt with her sword, but he easily dodges. He denies the fact that he made her. He admits that what he did was wrong, but it was an accident. Typhoid shouts that she lives because of the horror men brought upon her. What Daredevil did, most of all!
Matt believes otherwise. He tries to explain to Typhoid that she is who she is today because of the choices she made in the past. Sometimes, life is tragedy and pain and accidents. But, Matt asks Typhoid, was he there when Typhoid first pulled the trigger of a gun to kill someone? He wasn’t. Typhoid made that choice all by herself! Typhoid angrily shouts that Daredevil took her chances away. Matt knows that bad things happen to everyone. But, they don’t all lash out at the world because of it. For all of Typhoid’s bashing of little Mary Walker, it’s Typhoid herself who is the weak one! When things got too tough, she retreated into insanity.
Daredevil notices an opening, and hardly punches Typhoid on her jaw. She falls down. Matt concludes that he knows it’s a lot easier to be crazy than to face reality. He will always be ashamed for what he did to Typhoid, but he will never accept responsibility for darkening her heart. He won’t take the guilt of the crimes she committed. He knows that everyone is forced to make choices in the face of pain. Matt himself has chosen to uphold the light at best as he can, in spite of the darkness. While, Typhoid has chosen to embrace that darkness, and nothing she says will ever make Matt accountable for that.
Freaked out because of her defeat and almost out of breath, Typhoid cries, defending that it wasn’t like that. She wants Daredevil to pay. Matt tells Typhoid that if that’s all she wanted, she failed miserably. Typhoid cries, and begs Deadpool to kill Daredevil for her.
Deadpool apologizes to Typhoid, but this mess is over. Typhoid Mary faints. Deadpool congratulates Daredevil on his fine work, but he fears that their time is up. He jokes that he can send the bill to Typhoid, and Wade promises that he’ll take it from here. Matt takes it that this is where Deadpool blows him away in a final, desperate escape attempt? Deadpool won’t. That would be too cliché. And, he’s got more couth than that. Besides, he never really wanted to kill Daredevil anyway. Believe it or not, this was all one big therapy session. And Daredevil played his part just fine.
Daredevil is surprised that Deadpool knew all this was going to happen. Wade didn’t. He first thought that Typhoid wouldn’t go after anyone but Matt, okay, there were a few hitches, but still. Daredevil wants to know how Wade could allow this. Wade explains that someone once pointed out that he has a responsibility towards Mary. Now, he isn’t saying that’s true but, if it is, then he figured the first thing he would do is try to help Mary out and help her face her demons – not like those pansies did back in the psychic ward –, but the way pools like Wade do it: head on, sweating and bleeding until one is left standing. But in this case, Mary was after the wrong demon and he had to help her see that.
Wade picks Typhoid up, and tries to walk away with her. Daredevil refuses to let that happen. Wade tells “Hornboy” to give him a break. With the dead bodies aside, Wade knows that Daredevil got as much out of this as Mary did. Wade explains that for the first time in his life, Matt knows for sure that he isn’t a killer. That case is closed, while Mary’s just opened. Wade knows that Matt doesn’t have much reason, but he needs to trust him that he’s going to help Typhoid out. Daredevil warns Matt that this has just been the beginning, and that Mary will do a whole lot worse to Wade. He knows. But, with helping Mary out, maybe one day Deadpool hopes that, by helping her, he too can one day walk into the light. He takes goodbye from Daredevil, who is startled to hear that last sentence, and then Wade leaves.
Daredevil goes outside as well. A few minutes later, while standing on another roof, Matt watches the police arriving and cleaning up the mess in the club. He knows that Mary is out there, and is a little scared about what might happen between her and Deadpool. It just can’t be any good. But still, he is relieved that he isn’t a killer. He thinks a final time about Typhoid Mary, and returns home happily.
The next day…
Foggy wakes up alone in his apartment. The TV is still on, tuned onto the Playboy Channel. Trying to get his head together after the rough night out, he calls out to Weasel. He appears to have already left, but left behind a little note. He thanks Foggy for the great time, and tells him he can consider his poker tab paid. Confused, Foggy remembers that he and Weasel were playing poker, and that he was losing. But, he wants to know what he lost. He calls out to his dog, Deuce. But the animal is gone.
Later that day, back in San Francisco, Deadpool’s house…
Deadpool arrives back home, and is welcomed by Blind Al. She asks how things went. Wade jokes that on the plus side, he got to beat the snot out of NYC’s finest mob hitters and made some progress with their new friend Typhoid Mary. On the minus side, Mary offed about a dozen taxpayers, making Wade look like a durn idjiot. Oh, and Daredevil probably wants to pull his intestines out through his nose, but that’s fine.
Al is confused about the “progress” remark. Are they talking about show and tell here? Wade claims that it’s nothing like that. It’s pure mental progress… he thinks. Wade admits this quasi-heroic stuff isn’t exactly science, but it’s a good thing. Al hopes so, for Wade’ sake. But more to the point, Blind Al wants to know about her present. Wade takes out a present. He hopes that it’ll fit Al, and mentions that Weasel helped pick it out. They ripped the tags off it, so they can’t return it if Al doesn’t like it.
Al thanks Wade. She opens the present but, thanks to her blindness, can’t see that she’s holding… a pork chop! Wade explains what it is. Al is upset. Did Wade travel to the cultural capital of the world… and brought her back dead flesh!? Wade happily jokes that it’s actually a New York steak! Official meat of the Big Apple. Al doesn’t like it, as she’s got tons of meat in the freezer. Wade defends that the meat was just the first part of the present. He tells Al to hold the meat close to her body. She does as told. Wade thanks her, and calls out to… Deuce!
Deuce happily runs upstairs, towards Al! She hates Wade for this…
