Deep in the heart of Texas, Deadpool is interrogating a man about the whereabouts of some disks by hanging him upside down, covered in barbecue sauce above a pack of dogs. He explains that he needs to retrieve the disks so that his employer can get surgeon for Blind Al, who has broken her ankle. The man cracks and tells Deadpool that the disks are in the wall safe in the bedroom. Deadpool leaves the Texan without untying him and, when he leaves, the sounds of the dogs attacking are heard.
Deadpool isn’t bothered by it, though. When he enters the bedroom, he notices that the wall safe is gone and that there’s a man-shaped hole in the wall. He concludes that there has either been a Kool-Aid accident or that one beat him to the safe. He looks outside and sees the Animus leaving. Deadpool notes that he killed Vamp/Animus last year and how quickly they get to the main plot when there are only 12 pages. Outside, a cab driver sees Animus running past him and concludes that it’s a victim of incest but Deadpool appears behind him and tells him to follow the Animus while aiming a gun at the driver.
Soon after, right outside of Dallas, Animus arrives at the Mooing Mushroom Veggie Bugger, where Animus turns back into the Vamp and hands the disk to his/her boss: Arnim Zola. Grabbing the bag with the disks, Zola, who is responsible for Vamp/Animus being back, explains how normal cloning takes years, but that he can do it in hours by imprinting DNA on pre-formed proto-husks. His army of the clones, the Corpse Corps, will secure all the money he needs for his experiments in future years.
At this point, Deadpool enters and starts to insult Zola’s camera-head. Zola orders the Vamp to take care of Deadpool but he shoots her without even looking at her, while he keeps joking about Zola’s camera-head. Overpowered by him, Zola asks Deadpool who he is. Deadpool introduces himself and wonders why Zola wants to know. Zola replies that he wants to know what he should put on label of the container with his tissue samples and orders his army to attack. Deadpool turns around and looks at Zola’s army – all of them being clones of deceased super-powered individuals. Deadpool then smiles and says it’s an early Christmas.
He shoots Cyclone while dodging Basilisk and the Ringer’s attacks and explains how he normally is morally torn about killing his enemies but, since they’re artificial life-forms, he has no such problems.
He then shoots Kangaroo and the Whizzer, while making fun of their names and costumes before shooting Bucky in the chest. He turns around and grabs a machine gun of his back and shoots Bird-Man II, the Ringer and Cyclone a second time while making a joke about himself being Scourge.
Zola orders his remaining troops to stop Deadpool before he damages the proto-tubes. Deadpool wants to comment but is hit by Porcupine’s quills. He replies by shooting Turner D. Century in the knee, who then accidentally hits Porcupine with his flame-thrower umbrella. Deadpool makes fun of Turner, taking his weapon from him, and when Thornn and Basilisk attack, he jumps out of the way so that Thornn and Basilisk hit and kill Turner D. Century instead.
Deadpool moves upstairs and finds two bodies covered by sheets. He decides to take a peak and finds a naked Ben and May Parker, who think that he’s Peter Parker. Deadpool’s first reaction at seeing two old naked people is to shoot them repeatedly. He then becomes mad; it’s one thing to throw a bunch of second-rate heroes and villains at him, but if he’s going to be tricked into looking at naked old people, somebody is going to die.
In quick succession, Deadpool then shoots Egghead, inserts his knee in Mirage’s throat, walks around with Red Raven’s sawed off wings, while noting that if they put an X on the cover, sales might go up. He kills Reptilla with her own snake-arm, the other snake-arm being pinned down by Turner D. Century’s umbrella. He puts grenades in Basilisk’s eyes and beats up the other Salem Seven members, Hydron, Vakume and Brutacus, at the same time wondering about another “something“ seven that died.
Arnim Zola is completely confused and is then hit in the face (or at least the projection of his face on his stomach) by Deadpool who points a big gun at him. Arnim then changes his minds and offers Deadpool something if he won’t kill him. Deadpool gives him a chance and Zola whispers something into his ear. Deadpool wonders if that’s legal but is pretty enthusiastic about Zola’s proposition.
Back home in San Francisco, Deadpool brags to Blind Al how he not only got her leg operated, but how he also had a workforce to do her work around the house while she has to wear a cast. Blind Al has to agree and thanks Deadpool. Deadpool tells her not to mention it; it’s just the guy he is, asking his four Gwen Stacy-clones for confirmation. The Gwen-clones, all four of them wearing nothing but underwear, high heels and fishnet stockings, reply with a smile that he’s right about whatever he says.