Dawn… in a place out of time…
Zoe Culloden feels dizzy. Her head is spinning. She thinks that she… no, this… is crazy. Zoe asks a Landau, Luckman & Lake guard to give her optic glasses, and the guy hands them over to Zoe so she can put them on. Zoe believes that this situation should have never gone this far, as there’s too much at stake. Monty informs Zoe that, if she isn’t sure about if they should do this, percentage points are fluctuating Monty’s sight dim, meaning he can’t see what’s going to happen. Zoe jokes that means that Monty’s going to be out of a job then.
Monty corrects that time is still on Zoe’s side. Monty tries to warn Zoe about something, but she tells him not to even think it as it could have him killed. Monty doesn’t care about that, and suggests that Zoe just leaves her chosen one die. Zoe doesn’t want to hear it, but Monty fears what will happen if he was wrong about the chosen one and they will all die bidding a fool’s quest. Zoe smiles that if it isn’t the case and Monty is right; she will die ten times over to see Wade Wilson do the right thing. She departs, joking that she’ll see Monty in the future.
Dawn, on Earth, more specific Golden Gate Park…
Gerry teleports on a bench. He sighs that apparently his watch is still on German time and that it’s still seven hours until noon. He opens up a wine bottle, thinking it’s the only suitable way to pass the time that Wade would enjoy. Gerry smiles and promises Wade that he doesn’t have to worry, as he’s got everything covered.
Dawn, over the heart of America’s Pastime in Iowa…
Wade wakes up. He has a funny feeling inside him, which feels weird but good. It’s something he hasn’t felt anymore since his time with Vanessa, which was a very long time ago. He jokes how funny his life turned out to be recently. He notices Siryn still sleeping next to him and decides to wake her up.
Terry wakes up and yawns, still sleepy. Wade promises that, after last night, he’ll do whatever it takes: he’ll play the role of the hero, because Siryn digs him this way. It doesn’t matter to him if that makes her happy. When coming to her senses, Terry is surprised that Wade is still there and thought he would have been half across the country by now. Wade, confused, doesn’t know why he would do that. Terry suddenly laughs, thinking that, even though she has to wash Wade’s stench of her body now, she’s still in this Siryn disguise. She gets up, and presses a button, telling Wade she has to get her face together.
It’s… Typhoid Mary! Wade can start screaming now. Wade can’t believe it. Mary is pleased to see that Wade still remembers her, which means he must still care about her. She sarcastically asks the merc if she is the girl of his dreams. Still startled, Wade thinks he’s in a Rod Serling thing. He tells Mary this can’t be happening and that she has to turn back, asking what she just did. Mary claims that she can’t turn back into anything, as she isn’t a good girl. She just took the chance of an opportunity. It’s amazing what a photo and a stolen image inducer can do to help people get what she thinks they both wanted.
Wade thinks he’s going to be sick. He needed Terry, not Mary. Mary tells Wade he’ll get over it: she sure did. Besides, role-laying keeps a relationship healthy. Wade wants to know why Mary did this. Mary says it’s simple. As she licks Wade’s face, she answers that she did this, simply because… she could.
A few hours later…
Wade hangs over his toilet, throwing up. Al angrily walks in, telling Wade to keep it down, as it’s making her feel sick as well. Al suddenly remembers something: she hasn’t heard from Wade all night, as she thought he was looking for that Irish girl, Siryn. And besides, Wade never gets sick, thanks to his healing factor, so something must be wrong. She notices that Wade drank again, but doesn’t think it was for fun this time. Al asks Wade what’s going on, but he asks her to throw him a towel, as he thinks he needs to take a shower.
After the shower, Wade goes to sit into his chair. Al knows she isn’t like the guys on Loveline, but tells Wade that, if something happened between him and Siryn, he can talk about it to her, if he wants to. But, she fears and asks Wade: he didn’t kill her, right? Wade explains he didn’t, as that would be too easy.
Wade remembers Al that today he was supposed to meet up with his battle against T-Ray, but thinks maybe he has something better to do. Al thinks that’s the smartest thing Wade ever said in his entire life, and this makes her worrying. She asks Wade again what happened, but he gets up and tells Al he doesn’t want to talk about it, but thanks her for trying. He leaves, and Al warns Wade to stay away from the Golden Gate Park.
Meanwhile, at the Golden Gate Park…
T-Ray impatiently waits for Wade to arrive, and feels him getting closer. With blood and fire running through his veins, T-Ray is ready for the battle of a lifetime!
Al has contacted Weasel about Wade’s situation and teleports inside the house. He fears that the worse has happened and that Wade is dead. Al thinks that Weasel must have been waiting by the phone to come over there, but Weasel denies that, as he hadn’t anything better to do since Tyra Banks cancelled lunch. Al informs Weasel that Wade isn’t going to fight T-Ray like they thought, but something happened to him when he tried to locate Siryn and Al is worried.
Weasel claims he can track down Wade anywhere on the world, and opens his laptop. He only has to press a few buttons to find the misguided merc. Weasel can pinpoint the teleporter in Wade’s teleport belt anywhere, anytime (plus or minus three kilometers of course). Al jokes Weasel sure is the whiz kid. Weasel suddenly freaks out, fearing that they are both dead.
Deadpool arrives in Weasel’s house! He jokes at Weasel to turn off his Spice Girl’s video, as he’s in the mood of some talking, and just came up with some pretty good jokes about Pamela Lee. Not getting a response, Wade sights that Weasel must not be home.
Suddenly, Wade hears Weasel’s computer beeping. He recognizes the homing signal, and hates to think that Weasel has got himself kidnapped by Taskmaster again. Wade also recognizes his own signal, but wonders why Weasel should be tracking him down. Wade freaks out. The signal of Weasel is coming from…. his Deadhut?!
A furious Wade immediately teleports back home, where he finds Blind Al and Weasel together!
Meanwhile, at the Golden Gate Park…
Zoe successfully teleports inside the park, thanking her base for the proper transport. She cuts off the conversation and thinks she’s on the break of something big there. But despite that, it’s also complete madness and Zoe doubts if she should do something to stop it, or not. Suddenly, Gerry approaches her. He says some magical words “Man-delay”. Zoe’s eyes turn green, and she collapses!
Gerry thinks it’s a shame that they still live in a universe where LL&L still has to implant neural kill-switches into their employees. It’s still a few minutes until noon, so Gerry decides he takes a few more things before he lets Wade finish things uninterrupted.
Back at the Deadhut, aka Happyland…
While Al and Weasel try to calm Wade down, he angrily bounces on a wall. He thinks there are a few things a man should be able to rely on in his life: one is that he has to be able to relay on a good pair of sneakers who don’t wear off in a month, and the other things is that his best buddies in the world don’t try to betray him behind his back. Weasel and Al try to make Wade understand that they aren’t trying to betray him and are just worried, but he doesn’t want to hear it.
He thinks that everyone is betraying him at some point in his life: Vanessa did it, Mary got her way and now this, and especially… Siryn! Al panics, and Weasel tries to tell Wade he knows he has issues about guests in his house, but it’s not like he’s going to kill them about it, right? Wade gets an intense, evil look on his eyes, obviously thinking otherwise!
He punches Weasel really hard into his face, making him bounce back against a wall and faint. He furiously picks Al up, wanting to know why she did this. Al tries to apologize, but Wade doesn’t listen and puts her… inside the Box! Al begs Wade not to do this, but he places her inside it and closes the door. Deuce cries a little, but does nothing to help out. Wade gently taps the dog on its head, thanking him for it and teleports away.
The Golden Gate Park…
Deadpool teleports right in the middle of it. T-Ray walks up on him, having feared for a moment that Wade wouldn’t show up. Wade turns around, and recognizes T-Ray, standing triumphantly, holding a huge sword and dressed in knight clothes. T-Ray jokes that Wade must have gotten smart recently, if he decided to show up. Wade thinks that’s him… Mr. Accommodating. He jokes that the Village People are never going to do a comeback if T-Ray keeps stealing their outfits.
T-Ray has heard enough jokes and suggests that they get started. Wade takes out his sword a well. “Polo.” “Marco!” both Wade and T-Ray open. They start fighting, and T-Ray wonders if Wade is starting to feel the darkness. Wade jokes he isn’t feeling anything though could almost feel the breeze from T-Ray’s swing with his blade. Life is good for him at the moment, Wade claims, as he’s having his very own Workshop at the moment.
Wade jumps over T-Ray and kicks him in his back. T-Ray quickly gets up again and notices an opening, striking Wade into his neck! He thinks that Wade has gotten sloppy: maybe some troubles at home, or maybe at his precious Workshop? Or did that Irish girl finally learned the truth about he really is. Wade still smiles, annoying T-Ray because of this.
Wade confirms that something like that really happened and thinks it’s about time too. He finally reached the bottom of his heart and knows what he’s good for: blow stuff into pieces! He jumps in front of T-Ray, and sticks the guy right through his stomach! Wade pulls out his sword, and T-Ray starts to breath. T-Ray tries to say Wilson’s name, but can hardly do it. Wade helps him out, telling T-Ray he should never have challenged him. T-Ray finally manages to say something, and welcomes Wade back to the other side of the line. It will be good for T-Ray to see Wade die where he belongs!
Suddenly, he takes out a card with a Japanese inscription on it. He blows on it and throws the card at Wade, and on impact it explodes! Wade always thought that T-Ray’s stinky breath must have been good for something, but this really stung. He wants to know why T-Ray isn’t dead. T-Ray, already recovered, explains Wade it’s simple: he went straight for the heart, and T-Ray hasn’t had one of those in years! Not since Wade tore his out, that is. But now, he’s all better. He takes out another Japanese encrypted card and prepares it for action.
The card floats into the air and makes its way to the heavens. Suddenly, lightning appears! Wade jokingly tells T-Ray’s he’s impressed by his magic tricks and wants to know how he does it: using mirrors? Suddenly, it starts to snow. The townspeople don’t know what’s going on, though some think Lucas must be in town. T-Ray thinks that Wade now maybe remembers, and understands. Wade thinks he does. Suddenly, T-Ray jumps high up into the sky! But… T-Ray can’t fly, can he?!
T-Ray smiles that of course he can’t, and throws several blasts at Deadpool. He hopes that this surely isn’t another one of his dreams, because he wouldn’t want to see Carol Channing naked again. Meanwhile, Zoe wakes up but she doesn’t understand what the snow is about either. T-Ray angrily shouts at Wade if he has got the déja-vu already, them meeting at the symmetry? Zoe fears that she’s too late and couldn’t stop Wade from facing his adversary.
T-Ray punches Wade into his face, asking if the snow makes his skin remember all the bad things that happened that day, the smoke in his eyes? Zoe contacts her base, asking for one bodyslide. T-Ray asks Wade if he remembers the fire and Patsy Cline. The base asks Zoe for a confirmation as she was scheduled for two. Zoe confirms, and says goodbye to Wilson. Wade kicks T-Ray into his face and notices a flash light on the other side of the field, and surprisingly recognizes Culloden. Wade recalls that she tried to warn him about T-Ray, but at least the good news is that the good guys always win.
T-Ray again attacks Wade with magical blasts, from which souls emerge from. He mocks that it all began that day in the snow: T-Ray’s ultimate loss, and Deadpool’s ultimate gain. On that day, the road would always lead them back together but it all ends here, today! T-Ray smiles that he has watched Wade lose everything: T-Ray took the Hellhouse from him so Wade’s out of a job. T-Ray saw Wade get crippled on that fool’s quest of him trying to be a hero, making him have no direction. He kicks Wade into his face again, several times. T-Ray has seen Wade beat on those closest to him, making him have no friends. He has seen Wade fall in love with the wrong woman, making him have no love. No self-respect, or hope.
This means that Wade’s got nothing left, but faith that the beating of his tortured heart means that he’s still alive, that he always had a chance. T-Ray takes out his card box again and touches it, and magically gets an scythe… which he sticks it right into Wade’s chest! With his final breath, Wade says that they should do this all over again, as it isn’t supposed to end this way. T-Ray charges up another card and throws it against Wade. The card explodes. Wade faints, and appears to be… dead!
T-Ray triumphantly checks up on Wade, knowing that they can’t do things over in life. It’s Wade who taught him that lesson. He takes goodbye from Wilson and teleports away, confident that he’ll see Wade again in his nightmares.
A few moments later, a mother and her son, Daniel, arrive. Daniel notices Deadpool lying in the snow, not moving. He thinks that maybe he’s homeless and that they should help him. The mother fears that the guy might be dead and doesn’t want to see her son this, so she lies, saying that Wade’s making snow angels. Daniel thinks Deadpool must be doing that, because he’s happy then. They walk away, and Daniel shouts at Deadpool to have him a Merry Christmas!
Hours later, Deadpool still lies covered into the snow, unmoving…