(the Bolivian jungle, Deadpool’s home)
Deadpool and Mercedes are on the roof together, both a little uncomfortable. Wade tries to break the ice by asking Mercedes if she wants a little of his choco-twisted sugar sticks. Mercedes isn’t amused and is desperate to find out what happened to their lives, and to her. The last thing she remembers is Jane Eyre, a book she read with Wade in the living room in the dead of winter. And on that moment… BAM! Like a dream, Mercedes finds herself woken up in Atlanta, being chased by a homicidal maniac, and Wade sweeps in like he’s a comic book super-hero or something and brings her to his castle. Wade doesn’t like the super-hero remark and tells Mercedes to take her act to the street.
Mercedes angrily shouts that she is certain this isn’t a dream, but real life! She found Wade being attacked by zombies and Wade wearing his stupid Spider-Man wannabe mask. Wade resembles that remark. Mercedes has had enough with the jokes and punches Wade in his stomach, demanding the truth. She thinks she deserves to know what really happened. Wade, almost out of breath after that punch, admits he didn’t feel this bad since he found out Cindy Crawford had married. Mercedes apologizes for the punch, but she wants Wade to talk to her.
Wade promise he’ll talk, but not right now as he doesn’t have all the answers yet. But he gives Mercedes his word and asks her to trust him. Mercedes thinks that will only work if Wade takes off his mask and lets her see his eyes. Wade jokes he never does that on a first date. Mercedes realizes something terrible happened. Wade admits that, but promises that he’ll make things right again and even knows where to start.
(Chicago, the Hellhouse)
Alestaire has made it to the entrance of the Hellhouse, but it isn’t exactly like he remembered it. It’s even worse. Lots of mercs stand outside of it, like they are guarding the place with their very lives. Grunch finds it a shame Patch let the house go to such a waste. Patch walks out, immediately recognizing Alestaire but isn’t pleased to see him. He gives the guy three seconds to explain what he wants before Patch orders his guys to blast him. Alestaire admits that he’s in trouble, and that he did something to Deadpool and wants Patch to undo his mistake. Hesitant, Patch allows to give Alestaire five minutes to talk now, and lets him enter the Hellhouse. Alestaire tells Patch he won’t regret this, but Patch already does.
(Bolivian jungle, Deadpool’s home)
Monty is busy with his computer, trying to find information about Mercedes Wilson being involved with Deadpool’s past, but fails to find any. He even wants to give up, but Wade enters, asking Monty’s help about what to do with Mercedes. Monty shuts down his computer, telling Wade that, if he truly thinks Mercedes is the woman he once truly loved, which Wade does, Monty thinks he isn’t doing any good to either of them by hiding the truth from her. Wade is scared and shouts at Monty that he can say that but it’s really hard for Wade to do that. Monty calmly responds to Wade that Mercedes needs a guide in her life, and asks Deadpool if he still loves her. Wade hesitates and thinks about the option.
Later, Mercedes sits alone in her room. Wade enters it. He explains to her that the only thing he wanted to ever do is to protect her, and that he still wants to do it. He wants to wrap her up in a fireproof package and put her high up on the shelf, but Wade knows he can’t do that because he knows Mercedes deserves to know the truth. He promises there will be no lies in it and, if she still wants to hear the story, he’ll tell it. Mercedes wants to hear about it, no matter what. Wade sighs, telling Mercedes to prepare herself as it won’t be pretty.
Deadpool reveals that, once upon a time, there was a house in Maine. It was a place where happiness hid from the rest of the world and ran rampant. Crazy as it sounds, there lived the most blissful people on Earth, namely Wade and Mercedes Wilson. They were teachers who decided to throw it all away and build a love nest all of their own, and did it. Her bright idea was to keep the house isolated. To live off the fat of the land, except for the VCR and truffle of the month club, mind you. Really, it was sort of disgusting. All this “I love you snookie pie” and “you too honey lips face head mush-mush”… Wade goes into diabetic shock just by walking by the place.
Anyway… In between Patsy Klein marathons and hour-long smooching sessions, the necessities of real life did intrude. So, one winter-day the happy couple headed out to score drinking water from the river nearby the house. But, the river brought company: T-Ray! The happy couple thought at first that the river monster was a logger who fell into the river and washed down-stream, and had skin bleached from exposure, thinking it to be a miracle the man was still alive. Of course, not knowing the guy back in those days, the Wilson couple decided to take him inside their home as it was the right thing to do. They cleaned him up, poured sweet potato soup down the guy’s throat, helped him get back on-line. But they were sorry to say that they had no phone for T-Ray, as they were hippies. The Wilsons told him he’d had to wait until the next morning to head into town.
Only, morning never came. It was the worst snowstorm in Wade’s memory. The clouds blotted out the sun for an entire week. A week where everything shut down. They were a week alone with T-Ray. Their “new friend.” It didn’t take long for the Wilson’s to ascertain that they had made a big mistake. They soon discovered that their guest wasn’t hardly a down on his luck lumberjack as they first thought he was. No. T-Ray was a mercenary… a killer. A killer who had botched a job and was on the run from some very powerful people. A killer who couldn’t afford to leave witnesses. Wade would give Mercedes the NC-17 details, but it doesn’t matter right now. The point is that Mercedes died in his arms, butchered in the snow!
Mercedes is startled. Wade concludes that a stranger broke into their lives and tore down his soul and set his house on fire and destroyed the last great happiness he would ever know. But worst of all, the stranger forgot to kill Wade. Wade cries a little, explaining that he has been walking dead since then. He was a thing of suffering, spite and other things not so nice. And the punch-line is that he even got cancer. And when he tried finding a cure for it, he ended up with his entire body horribly destroyed.
Wade admits he doesn’t know how Mercedes came back into his life, and why she doesn’t remember any of what he just told her. All he knows is that she got a second chance and believes Mercedes should get away from him as far away as possible thinking they’ll never be happy together. He takes off his mask and reveals his face to her. Mercedes hesitates for a while, but eventually hugs Wade and he hugs her back. Mercedes tells him it’s all right, wanting to know what they are going to do next.
(later, at the balcony of Deadpool’s home)
Deadpool has introduced Mercedes to Ilaney, who is surprised Wade even got married once. Wade jokes that Ilaney better doesn’t have a problem with Mercedes tagging along from on, or else he’s going to tell her how Barbies are being made. Ilaney doesn’t have a problem with the plan: Wade says Mercedes is going to Morocco, that’s where she goes since he’s the boss it’s just that, Mercedes is so… skinny. Mercedes smiles that’s true, and that Ilaney apparently isn’t. (Serve returned). Ilaney likes Mercedes now and tells her she’s got a schnitzel on board of her plane, thinking about making her fat and they take off.
Wade stays behind, whispering that he wants to see them take off from his bedroom window. Monty enters holding a paper demanding that Wade stops the flight as he’s got something important to say. Wade doesn’t want to hear about it since he wants to meet up with Alestair and find out why he set him up to meet Mercedes. Monty claims it can’t wait, and explains the fax just came in for Wade. He reads it but doesn’t tell Monty what it’s about. Instead, he walks towards Ilaney’s plane telling her there is a change in plans: they are now going to Chicago!
(half a day later, in front of the Hellhouse)
Wade, Ilaney and Mercedes take a look around and notice a lot of things being torched and still on fire. Wade knows the house isn’t much to look at right now, but he has had a yuk or two when he was here. Wade tells Ilaney and Mercedes to wait in the chopper since there might be trouble. Mercedes wants to go with Wade, since she’s already dead, meaning there isn’t much left to be afraid of. Wade thinks that might be true, but hopes Mercedes will never have to find out what those other things are.
Wade walks up to the entrance but is hold back by security guards Scumson and Hoover Tron. Wade introduces himself, joking that Scumson and Hoover Tron’s mothers must have loved them both very much giving them those names. Wade tries to explain that he’s here on invitation because of Patch and even has a key to his dressing room, but the guards refuse to let him pass. Wade doesn’t have the patience to calmly deal with this right now, so he takes out his gun and blows the goons out of his way. Once inside the Hellhouse, Wade proudly shouts that he’s back and that all the Drew Barrymore look-a-likes can immediately run back to him. But Wade’s mood changes fast when he notices all the other Hellhouse mercs aren’t pleased to see him, not to say immediately attack him!
Montys sits behind his computer but complaints about the T1 line they have there, as the downloads go really fast. Suddenly, he finds something very interesting. A hard copy of Wade’s marriage license, some photos and all being referenced with Black Ops incidents in that area. Monty notices something else and panics, hoping it isn’t true what he reads. On that very moment, a mysterious person materializes behind Monty, smiling that he’s just here to surprise him.
Deadpool starts his way fighting and shooting through the many mercenaries. Even though he kills some of them, Wade gets overpowered and knocked down. Outside, Ilaney thinks it must be amazing to go on an adventure with Deadpool and asks Mercedes if he ever took her on one of them. Mercedes doesn’t really know what to respond to that. A loud bang is heard. Mercedes panics and runs towards the Hellhouse. Ilaney tries to hold her back knowing that things blow up around Wade constantly and that it’s nothing to worry about, but Mercedes goes inside anyway.
Inside, Wade gets punched and kicked by merc Mark McGwire, who is glad that he and his bo-staff are having some action. Wade has had enough and thinks it’s about time to take out the trash.
On that very moment, Patch, guarded by CF and Fenway, enter. Patch angrily shouts and corrects that none of these mercs belong to him and that they can go back running through their albino boss before he kicks their butts. None of the mercs listen and continue fighting. Deadpool thanks Patch and the others for their help, as it’s much appreciated. Wade notices CF punching a guy’s teeth out, and is amazed by it never hading thought CF would have it in himself and compliments him for it. CF is touched. Patch mentions that he’s only helping out because he felt guilty towards Alestaire leaving him alone in the lurch and felt tired of being a prisoner in his own house.
Wade goes to team-up with Fenway, who mentions that he doesn’t like the current regime at the Hellhouse and also that he never forgets a former teammate, even if he is an idiot like Deadpool. Wade is touched. They fight together, and Wade asks Fenway if he perhaps talked to Weasel recently, but doesn’t get an answer. Wade runs back to Patch, asking him if he heard what happened with him and his wife. Patch did but only some wild guess rumors. Wade wants to know what happened at the Hellhouse while he was gone. While trying to escape, Patch admits that only bad things happened and that the guy responsible for it, his finger prints are all over the place. Wade notices that Patch is afraid to say the guy’s name as well.
They jump on the balcony and kick a door open, where they find Alestaire chained on a chair. Patch kills the guard and Wade thinks it’s only natural to see a traitor like Alesair in a position like this. Alestair claims that he didn’t want any of this and begs for help. Wade isn’t sure what to do. Suddenly, a demon cat jumps through the window, which was before Patch’s cat Allie. Allie has been completely taken over by an evil, green fog force and starts eating and killing Alestaire. P>
Wade panics for Mercedes’ safety and jumps outside again, wondering what’s going on. Both Mercedes and Ilaney are still alright, but are freaked out by the thing behind Deadpool and tell him to take a look. Wade turns around, and notices an apparent dead Monty tied up! A letter is attached to Monty’s body, appointed to Wade and warning that they’ll meet each other soon. Mercedes wonders how Monty could possibly get here from Bolivia. Wade thinks that his suspicions are correct, but that he was only afraid to say the culprit’s name. This whole mess can only mean one thing: T-Ray… is back!
T-Ray witnessed everything through the light of the candles, and is pleased.