The Landau, Luckman & Lake operation base, somewhere in the universe…
Herbert panics. Zoe doesn’t notice at first and continues with her message to report to her bosses to immediately terminate Agent Mikitan’s position, since there was property damage. Also, she mentions that all the Christmas presents from the company from the last five years should be taken back and that his daughter’s ballet recital does not qualify as an “illness.” She suddenly does notice Herbert squirming and asks him if the interface is locked. Herbert doesn’t say anything but puts his thumbs up, telling Zoe to give it a “go.”
Zoe orders the computer to initiate full memory backup into organic storage medium concurrent with modification of “Discipline” file to her authorization. Her last entry is a request to run a full black out on all files containing the name “Kelly.” She doesn’t want the authority of the company to be questioned, and certainly not by a mere writer. And she also guesses they should have the guy beaten up once he leaves the building. Zoe asks Herbert if he knows what it feels like to utterly decimate the last shreds of a man’s spirit. Herbert continues to squirm without saying anything.
Zoe puts a device into his ears, claiming it was a rhetorical question and that he can forget she asked it. But he does have to remember her download, and wants him to take a secure door towards the three L’ bosses without any detours. Herbert is about to leave through a portal, but stops when he gets shocked at what he sees.
Deadpool enters, holding a with green covered fog Monty in his arms! Wade wonders what a guy has to do to get some suspense around here. Zoe panics when she sees them both.
Landau, Luckman & Lake… quaintly referred to as an “intergalactic holdings company” in the literature, is an influential clandestine syndicate that can buy and sell someone’s solar system before tea time…
While alien Glort arrives at the center, Mercedes takes care of Ilaney who was injured on her head during the teleportation. Apparently, she isn’t quite cut out for it. Mercedes wants to know where they are. Ilaney recognizes the place from the stories Deadpool told her, and thinks they are at the outer space bank where Monty used to work. Mercedes also asks Ilaney if she ever gets used to the danger and monsters Wade always seems to hang around with. Ilaney doesn’t, and thinks that’s the whole beauty of the entire thing. Mercedes sighs.
Meanwhile, Deadpool reveals to Zoe what happened after he defeated the Destroyer. He returned to Gerry’s place and was upset at him for not revealing to him that he knew all along what was going on. Wade is also upset because, during the battle, he felt the pain of countless of people and could have prevented them from ever having that pain again, but didn’t do it. Al reminds Wade of the reason why: because if he had done it, nobody would have their own free will anymore. Wade puts a disguise on Monty and lifts him up, with Monty revealing that he doesn’t have anything in his life anymore: he lost his powers, reason to live and the love of his life. Wade and Monty left Gerry’s house together, leaving both him and Al behind. Ever since, he and Monty became closer friends, for which Monty had to pay the price for, thanks to T-Ray.
Wade still doesn’t understand how T-Ray could have possibly found his home in the Bolivian jungle, but he thinks the guy went through a lot of trouble, especially seeing the trouble he went through at the Hellhouse. He believes T-Ray just showed it off to prove he could find him whenever he wants. Zoe puts Monty in a life-regenerating tank, and remembers T-Ray, meaning that is no good news at all. Wade confirms, as he truly hates that stupid albino jerk. Zoe admits she’s sorry about what happened to both Wade and Monty, but feels Wade shouldn’t have come back there after what happened, since Monty isn’t the company’s problem anymore. Wade realizes that, but what other hospital would take in a guy without insurance… or without a skin, for that matter?
Zoe doesn’t know about that, but explains that lots of things have changed at the LL&L company since the Mithras Directive was over. Wade apologizes for not caring a jam about that, but he just thought that, since Monty was hurt and the guy helped Zoe out in the past, he thought she wouldn’t mind the assist. Besides, Wade spills, he “accidentally” read Monty’s diary a couple of times and it appears he’s quite the erotic poet, writing those silly stories about Zoe.
She is a bit shocked to hear Monty was writing about her. She truly didn’t know. Wade finds that hard to believe. But, it’s the truth. Zoe remembers Monty kissing him before he departed with Wade, and explains to him that Monty wasn’t programmed or allowed to experience love, that only happened when he started to malfunction.
Wade gets a bit upset hearing those words. He reminds Zoe that Monty could be dead without her help. Zoe realizes Monty isn’t dead and… blasts Wade down! She apologizes for it, but remembered that Monty is still on the Landau, Luckman & Lake payroll no matter what and can’t play Wade’s little games anymore.
Not much longer, Deadpool, Mercedes and Ilaney wake up in a containment cell. Mercedes is confused, since Wade told her that Zoe was his friend and would help. Wade thought that too, that Zoe was his friend, but that probably changed after he claimed that Vanilla Ice was hardcore. Wade thinks that, when he signed on for the whole Mithras thing, he also signed on for afterwards being LL&L property. Mercedes gets upset hearing that because they are human beings, and not cattle. But she realizes this isn’t Wade’s fault at all: it’s T-Ray.
Wade promises he’ll get them out of this. Mercedes believes that, and wants Wade to promise that afterwards, they are going to hunt T-Ray down like a dog and kill him. Wade digs the whole Clint Eastwood impression Mercedes just did there, but thinks she’s a little bit over reacting. But Mercedes looks dead serious. Wade realizes they have to get out of here, and starts hurling, mentioning he learned this trick from a super-model and at the end will have the solution to their problem.
Elsewhere, in the science department of the company, some of the scientist concluded that Monty is now nothing more than a six million dollar vegetable. Zoe heard enough and orders everyone out. She takes a look at Monty and tells him to stop looking at her like that. She knows she screwed Deadpool over, but she has to obey her orders.
Meanwhile, Wade has hurled out lots of electronic devices and explains that a wise woman once told him that “you never know when you are going to lose your utility belt” and, with that wise piece of advice, Wade thought that, since his healing factor can’t really take any damage, he always swallows some things for protection. Though both Mercedes and Ilaney are disgusted by the whole thing, Wade puts the devices together and warns them to stand back, as this show he’s about to reveal sure isn’t Pokémon! He places the device nearby the wall, and an explosion comes!
Wade quickly takes out the guard and Ilaney has noticed the direction towards the elevator. Wade thanks “Colonel Klink” for it and tells Mercedes to follow her. Mercedes also wants a piece of the action and takes the guard’s gun, but this freaks Wade out because he doesn’t want to see Mercedes hurt or anything. Mercedes warns that she isn’t just a pretty wallflower standing nearby. She can do stuff but just needs to be told what to do. On that very moment, more guards arrive.
At the lab, Zoe explains to Monty that her bosses, the three L’s, aren’t pleased at all by the way Dixon completely messed up the Mithras Directive. She thinks that, if they have Deadpool honor his original contract with the company, they will have won their respect back. It’s all just big business. Zoe smiles, asking Monty if he remembers the time when they caught Wade tapping into his circuits so they could spy on Dixon, and caught him tele-ordering a home facelift kit on a secure level.
Zoe laughs, causing her to remember when the last time was she smiled and laughed like that. Not that she ever had such a high sense of humor; it’s just been a while. Monty doesn’t respond. Zoe wonders what happened to her, and to them. She gently touches Monty’s face, and the devices wired onto him reveal life signs!
There is brain activity in Monty but he isn’t awake yet. Suddenly, a viewing screen opens, and Zoe is startled: it’s showing her Monty’s dreams, and he is dreaming about her and him together, taking a walk in the park. Zoe is surprised that, after all she did to Monty, he still sees her like that. She cries a little about it. Zoe gets interrupted by the attacking guards, asking advice for what to do about Deadpool since he’s taking them down hard. Zoe hesitates, unsure what to respond.
At the battlefield, Wade and the others are hiding behind a table. Ilaney panics, fearing they are doomed, but Wade laughs about it. He claims to have seen scarier episodes of “Dexter’s Lab” than this fight. He has a plan. Suddenly, the two women scream, but Wade tells them to shut up. He’s just taking off his white underpants! He shows it to the guards, waving it like a white flag asking for a truce. Wade explains that he wants to make a deal with LL&L. He’ll stay there in return for Mercedes’ and Ilaney’s freedom, and they don’t even have to remember him and can have their memories wiped.
Mercedes refuses to go on with this. She doesn’t want to forget Wade at all. Wade knows it isn’t his greatest plan ever but, after seeing what happened to Monty, he refuses to let the same thing happen to his wife. Suddenly, all the guards collapse. Zoe enters, and reveals she put the guards all asleep using the Overboss gem on her head. Wade can consider it as her last act as Overboss. No more… it’s over. Zoe reveals she simply had some sort of an epiphany. She shows Wade Monty. He’s awake again and says “hi” to Deadpool. Zoe mentions that she helped save the world together with Wade, and she dislikes the current shadow, dark and manipulative world she is in now. Monty defends Zoe completely, claiming she is telling the truth.
Wade believes it. Ilaney sheds a tear, smiling that it’s like the “Gunter und Marikogoben” fairy tale. That’s all fine by Mercedes, but she doesn’t see what good fairy tales are with them. Monty explains that this is all about getting a second chance in life, and he wants to take his together with Zoe. Zoe wants to do the very same thing, explaining she already terminated her contract with the company. She opens two teleportation portals, explaining that they can all walk through one. She and Monty will take on and go live their lives together, but will only have two minutes to decide where to go because that’s when her clearance stops.
Monty hugs Wade, promising he’ll never forget him. Wade, a bit embarrassed by the hug, tells Monty to stop asking if he’s sure about it. Monty claims he is. Monty gives Wade the advice to go somewhere where T-Ray will never find them. He and Zoe step through their portal and take goodbye from Deadpool, thanking him one last time.
Wade suggests to Mercedes that they’ll just use the portal so she can get her revenge on T-Ray. Mercedes isn’t so sure about that anymore. Wade is confused. Mercedes explains she isn’t interested in taking revenge anymore. After she saw how Wade wanted to rescue her and Ilaney’s life by sacrificing himself and mind wiping them so they wouldn’t feel too bad, Mercedes realized she just wanted to be her old self again, and have her old life with Wade back. Wade isn’t sure what to say. Mercedes suggests that they just give it a shot, since they have a shot at a clear start and do things whole over again. Wade agrees to take it. He takes Ilaney’s hand and, together with Ilaney, steps through the teleportation portal, ready to be happy.
Ten seconds after an intergalactic jump later…
They arrive at a snowy landscape. Wade jokes it sure feels good to be in Madrid again. The cold reminds him of truly being home. Mercedes didn’t even knew Madrid could get so could. Wade remembers something: it never snows in Madrid and sure is never cold! They spot a house and go over it. But on that very moment, a voice welcomes them home, smiling that this entire event must make Deadpool and his friends want to cry. And scream. And die. Wade freaks out, as he recognizes his old enemy standing in front of him… T-Ray?!