Deadpool recollects the events of Cruel Summer (last three issues), when he hears an elderly woman who's tripped and fallen cry for help outside his warehouse. He brings the woman, named Patricia Muggins, to the hospital where they have a little moment when she reveals that she has cancer. After checking up on things, Wade and nurse Veronica flirt with each other, and decide to meet later at a bar.
Later that evening they meet and talk a while, and after the nurse leaves for her next shift, Wade gets drunk off his ass. He hears a woman telling a guy to leave her alone in the distance, and clumsily takes him out. To thank him, the woman takes 'Pool home for some horizontal fun. Wade wakes up the next morning, the woman leaves ion a limo, but hands him her phone number. From the card Deadpool learns that her name is Debbie.
Cut to an all-girls Catholic school, where a stuck-up star soccer player named Bitsy hits the showers. Suddenly, two shadowy figures enter the room. While one reminds Bitsy of a soccer game they'd lost to her the day before, the other knocks a row of lockers on top of her. We exit as one of them pulls out a hack saw to make sure that Bitsy will never play soccer again.
Back to Deadpool, the morning after his night with the woman at the bar. While cruising the supermarket, Wade attempts to grab a package off a top shelf for a young woman. He falls, lands on his ass, and breaks her glasses. To pay her back for them, they make a date to go out for dinner later. Upon leaving, she introduces herself as Marguerite.
Wade watches Judge Judy back at the warehouse, when there's a knock at his door. Yet another hot girl Amy, who's delivering the stuff he bought at the supermarket. As he searches for her tip, she undresses and surprises him. She thinks Deadpool is someone famous and wants to make an impression. More horizontal fun ensues.
Cut to Wade leaving messages to all the women he's encountered (especially that SEXY Ms. Muggins.) Each of the five phone calls are redirected to the smae answering machine -- surprise -- they were all Vanessa aka Copycat! What could she be up to, tricking poor old Wade like that?