Exiles (1st series) #83

Issue Date: 
August 2006
Story Title: 
It’s Your Funeral

Tony Bedard (Writer), Casey Jones (Penciler), Vince Russell (Inkers), Wil Quintana (Colorist), Dave Sharpe (Letterer), Sean Ryan (Assistant Editor), Nick Lowe (Associate Editor), Mike Marts (Editor), Joe Quesada (Editor in Chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)

Brief Description: 

The Exiles begin to send home the bodies of the deceased Exiles and Weapon X members, as well as the living Angel and Daredevil. After sending the body of Kane home, Heather pulls Power Princess aside and lectures her on constantly referring to Morph in the past tense. They cannot give Proteus any reason to doubt himself. Spider-Man and Morph walk past the Stasis Gallery and Spider-Man takes note of one body skipped – that of Thunderbird. Morph explains that Thunderbird is an original Exile member, and that they will reawaken him and fix him up themselves. They reach the infirmary where a living Iron Man reasons with Sabretooth to let him stay, but Sabretooth refuses to allow him, so a fight breaks out. Blink buries Mimic in the desert chamber and she and Longshot return as the fight occurs. Longshot and Morph quickly defeat Iron Man, leaving him with a stabbed eye. The team sends Tony Stark home, sans armor, and Heather explain that Iron Man caused a world war on his planet and is a wanted man. The Exiles finish sending the rest of the fallen home, but Power Princess urges Blink to reconsider keeping Mimic there, as the girl doesn’t even know what his funeral wishes were. Realizing that she cannot be that selfish, Blink takes Mimic back to his reality herself, and confronts the X-Men, telling them that, if she tells them everything they need to know about Calvin’s disappearance, they will tell her everything Mimic didn’t have the time to tell her about himself.

Full Summary: 

Earth #27:

The master of Magnetism, better known as Magneto, descends from the sky and returns home, greeted by his grieving wife, Rogue, at the door. Magneto tells Rogue that he came as soon as he could. What is so wrong that she could not tell him on the phone? Rogue, whose hands cover her mouth as tears run from her eyes, tells Eric that he has to see it for himself. She then takes him inside and explains that she was just sitting in the living room when there was a flash of light – and then there he was.

Magneto begins to call forth magnetic energy, thinking that his wife has been attacked. He asks who the teleporter was. Was it Nightcrawler or Vanisher? Did the teleporter threaten her?

However, Rouge points to a body lying on the ground, covered with a blanket. Rogue explains that it was just a body. It was burnt beyond recognition and it is radioactive, but she still knew. As the tears increase, Rogue shows Magneto a note that confirmed her suspicion. As she buries her face into Magneto’s chest, Eric reads the note aloud, stating that the body is that of Magnus, son of Magneto and Rogue. He died a hero to save them.

Shocked, Magneto begins to tell himself and his wife that this cannot be true. Magnus ran away from home, is all. Rogue forces her husband to accept that the body is Magnus, making Eric wonder where his son has been this whole time.

Earth #653:

At the Weapon X compound, the body of Mesmero appears in the Director’s office, setting off the security alarms.

Earth #172:

Mariko cries out the name of her lover, as the body of Wolverine appears. The Silver Samurai, who quickly pulls out his sword, tells Mariko that this cannot be. Wolverine has been missing for months!

Earth #1287:

S.H.I.E.L.D. agents scramble around the deck of the Hellicarrier, as the body of their best operative, Maverick, materializes, with a jagged shield of Captain America stuck in his chest. Nick Fury barks orders and tells someone to get a trace on that teleport. No one kills his best agent and gets away with it.

Earth #181:

The Kingpin of crime sits in his office, smoking a cigar, impressed with the dramatic entrance of Daredevil. Where has he been all this time? Daredevil tells his boss, Mr. Fisk that it is a long story and he won’t believe the half of it. He just hopes the Kingpin didn’t give his job away.


Power Princess and the Proteus-possessed Morph, brain-washed into thinking that he is Morph, carry the body of former Weapon X member, Kane, to the excursion platform. Proteus, carrying Kane by his legs, tells Power Princess that he gets her codename, and names like Daredevil and Hulk, but he doesn’t understand Kane. What kind of codename is that? Did the man think it sounded tough?

As the two reach the excursion platform and put Kane down, Power Princess turns to Heather Hudson, who is busy writing a note explaining how Kane died, and asks if Morph always babble on and on like this. Heather puts the note on Kane’s body and turns to Zarda, worried, and tells her that he did. The excursion platform then teleports Kane away. Six down, ten to go, says Heather.

Heather then immediately asks Proteus to go to the infirmary and find out what is taking so long with Iron Man. Confused, Proteus asks Heather if she cannot just use the intercom, but Heather explains that it will be faster this way. She then looks up to the ceiling and tells her other teammate that he should make himself useful for a change and go with Morph to make sure he isn’t sidetracked.

Perched on the ceiling is Spider-Man, who jokingly takes offense to Heather’s comments. She is deducing the physics of the excursion platform and she assumes he is doing nothing. Heather apologizes, but she wants to speak to Power Princess alone for a minute. Spider-Man understands and follows Proteus out, who shifts into a sports anchor and narrates Spider-Man swing and landing – giving the man a 9.8 out of 10.

Back in the excursion platform chamber, Heather turns to Zarda and explains that this is the third time he has referred to Morph in the past tense in front of him. Confused, Zarda reminds Heather that it isn’t Morph anymore. Yes, says Heather. It is Proteus. However, thanks to Zarda’s B-Mod equipment, Proteus believes that he is Morph. Zarda cuts off Heather, telling the doctor that she knows all of this.

Heather, in a very serious tone, asks Zarda why she is giving Proteus any reason to question who he is. Is the brainwashing foolproof? The most dangerous mutant alive is dormant inside Morph, and Heather would rather let sleeping dogs lie. Does Zarda get it? Zarda towers over Heather and explains that she doesn’t like Heather’s tone of voice… but she “gets it.”

Stasis Gallery:

Morph and Spider-Man walk down the wall of shame and look at the bodies of Ms. Marvel, Gambit and Namora. Morph is glad that they are finally sending these poor guys home for a proper funeral. It creeps him out seeing them there in this trophy case frozen as if they were in a food section. Spider-Man relates to his fallen predecessors as flies trapped in amber. Spider-Man then leaps upon the wall to walk, prompting Morph to ask him how he sticks to walls. Spider-Man shows Morph his hands, which have talons growing from his fingers. His talons grip most surfaces. They took a little while to get used to when they grew in.

Morph then asks how Spider-Man… well…

Pick my nose? Wipe my butt? asks Spider-Man. Morph explains that he was going to ask how he shook hands, but now that he mentions it, those are good questions too. The two then pass by a body that is wrapped up as if the victim took quite a beating, that hasn’t been removed unlike the other bodies around him. Spider-Man asks what the deal is with this guy. Morph explains that it is Thunderbird. He is an original Exile. They will defrost him and fix him up themselves once the others are taken care of.


Sitting in his underwear, Tony Stark freaks out and tells Sabretooth that he cannot send him home. They will kill him on sight! Fine with him, says Sabretooth, so long as he doesn’t have to hear Stark whine anymore. Last time they met, Iron Man tried killing him and his friends, which is why Sabretooth took off his armor. Tony reasons that those were different circumstances. He is sorry it happened, but sending him home is a death sentence. Pointing to the armor on the ground behind him, Sabretooth explains that, if there is a bounty on Tony’ head, he is sure it is well earned.

Tony tells Sabretooth that he comes from a culture of war and conquest, and he is an outlaw. This is because he doesn’t believe in violence as a way of life. He made the Iron Man armor to combat the military-industrial complex that made his world a permanent war-zone. There is a shoot-on-site order against him. Sabretooth dismisses Tony, so Stark asks if he can speak with someone with a brain. Where is Blink? Having a private moment, explains Sabretooth. Tony is stuck with him.

Desert Chamber:

Longshot is amazed and asks how the Panoptichron can have an entire desert within itself. Blink, who kneels in the sands before a body wrapped up in a cloth, tells Longshot that she will explain later, but right now she needs him to be quiet, as this is already hard enough.

Blink looks down upon the exposed, withered face of Mimic and tells her lover that she wishes she was better to him before his death. She then begins to pray. Longshot puts his hand on her shoulder and asks Blink what she is doing. Blink tells Longshot that she is trying to pray, but she cannot think of what to say. Longshot is confused to the meaning of the word pray, and Blink explains that she is asking God to have mercy on Calvin’s soul. Isn’t it a bit late for that, asks the naïve Longshot.

Blink pauses as she gets up. She tells Longshot that she wasn’t a church attending person as a child, so she can’t give him any other explanation other than a prayer seemed like the most appropriate thing to do at a funeral. Longshot recognizes the word funeral, and tells Blink that on Mojoworld they recycle bodies instead of burying them. However, why bury Mimic here when the others are being sent home.

Blink tells Longshot that she supposes she wants Mimic close so she can visit his grave. She then teleports Mimic’s body into the sand dunes and tells Longshot that they should go.


Morph and Spider-Man reach their destination, and Morph tells Miguel that he knows why Heather asked them to find Iron Man together. Worried that Proteus has reawakened, Spider-Man asks Morph if he really has. Well, I’m not blind, says Morph. This is a crime against nature! Miguel should not be afraid. Morph won’t let him be the only un-funny Spider-Man in the multiverse! By the time Morph is done with him, he will be cracking jokes like a pro.

Relaxed, Spider-Man enters the infirmary and tells Sabretooth that Heather sent them to escort Tony to the excursion platform. Confused, Creed asks if something is wrong with the intercom, and Morph explains that Heather wanted alone time with Zarda. Don’t we all, says Sabretooth. He then tells Tony to get ready. Annoyed, Tony tells Sabretooth that he had his chance to change his mind. Speaking the word “Abraxas,” Iron’ Man’s armor reactivates and flies back to Tony, armoring him up. Iron Man tells Sabretooth that he should have listened to reason. They could have had him as an ally.

Excursion Platform:

The entire Panoptichron shakes as a fight breaks out. Zarda puts her helmet back on, as she and Heather race towards the infirmary. Zarda asks Heather if she thinks Proteus has awakened, but Heather tells her that there is always something going wrong.

Desert Chamber:

Longshot and Blink return back to the Panoptichron from the desert, just in time to feel the attack. Blink realizes that it is coming from the infirmary and teleports her and Longshot there.


Iron Man asks the Exiles what right they have sending him home to die. They are as bad as the Timebroker ever was. Correction – they are worse! Sabretooth narrowly avoids a repulsor blast. Spider-Man leaps out of the way and tells the team that at least the Timebroker had a game plan. Morph shifts a hole in his body to avoid a blast, which hits the walls. He then tells Iron Man to watch out, as this place is fragile.

Spider-Man shoots a load of webbing onto Iron Man’s back, thinking it should stop him, but Iron Man tells him not to be stupid as he sends a charge of electricity to remove it. He then shoots out a ball from his gauntlet, which explodes into a web and pins Spider-Man to a wall. Iron Man begins to trash the room, and asks the Exiles if they regret not listening to him now.

Blink and Longshot teleport in, and Blink angrily tells Creed that she told him to take off Tony’s armor first. She then sends out a few teleportation arrows, but Iron Man deflects them with his energy shield. Sabretooth rushes up to Iron Man and punches him across the face.

Iron Man tells Sabretooth that he only gets one lucky shot, as she slams the man away. Actually, we get more than one, says Longshot as he throws a knife that amazingly hits right at Iron Man’s helmet’s eye slit!

Iron Man screams in pain at having a knife to his eye. Morph leaps at Iron Man and tells the team that he has a reboot switch. Morph then finds the switch on the armor and hits it, deactivating the armor. When Longshot asks Morph how he knew about the armor, Morph explains that, the last time he fought Iron Man, he was deactivated. Tony then spent three hours begging Morph to reboot him, as he lay trapped in his suit. Inside his motionless armor, Iron Man begs someone to save his eye.

Heather and Zarda come in just in time to hear the plea, and Heather tells Tony that she would have he not trashed the infirmary. Power Princess asks if Morph is the one who defeated Iron Man. Morph smiles and asks if there is a kiss in it for him if he says yes. No, says Power Princess firmly. Then it was Longshot, says Morph.

5 minutes later:

Tony Stark stands on the excursion platform with a bandage over his eye, sans armor. Heather teleports him home. Sabretooth asks Heather what Tony’s world is like. Quite peaceful since he left, answers Heather. Their database says that he started a world war. Why does Creed ask?

Sabretooth responds that Tony said he got a death sentence for trying to stop a war. However, he thinks he just wanted to stay and study the place. Power Princess tells the team that they should hurry and return the other 10 in stasis. Nine, corrects Sabretooth. Mimic is staying here per Blink’s request.

Concerned, Power Princess tells Blink that, without proper burial on his world’s soil, Calvin’s spirit will wander forever. Blink tells Zarda that this may be the case where she comes from, but Calvin doesn’t believe in the same things as her. Zarda then asks what Calvin did believe in. Was it his wish to be buried there? Blink admits that she does not know. They never talked about it. There was always a universe to save. Zarda then tells Blink that she does not question her devotion to Calvin, but if he never told her his funeral plans, perhaps she should consult his family.

Earth #27:

Nightcrawler conducts the funeral for the fallen Magnus, and begins reading the rights of the dead, as Rogue and Magneto hold each other at the funeral home.

Earth #653:

Mesmero’s body is cremated at the Weapon X compound.

Earth #172:

Night falls, as Silver Samurai and Mariko watch Wolverine’s body burn in the funeral pyre.

Earth #1287:

The United States flag is draped across the coffin of Maverick, as Nick Fury mourns the death of his best agent.

Earth #181:

Daredevil holds his bloody club in his hand in a dark alley. At the street, Wilson Fisk watches his agent work, and Matthew is glad to be home.

Earth #3031:

Cable, Domino and Grizzly stand before the grave of Kane as the sun sets.

Earth #2020:

Tony Stark surrenders as he finds four guns aimed right at his face.

Earth #714:

Angel gets his gun ready as decides that it is time to get back to work.

Earth #23895:

Storm is laid to rest as the Black Panther and his people watch.

Earth #10101:

The Scarlet Witch mourns on the grounds of the Avengers Mansion for her fallen lover.

Earth #1917:

The family of Piotr Rasputin mourns at their son’s grave.

Earth #4210:

Colossus and his parents stand at the grave of Illyana.

Earth #873:

Betty Ross cries while she and her father stand before a giant casket, draped with the United States flag, for the Hulk.

Earth #15:

As a prison, a grave for Spider is placed among so many others.

Earth #4732:

The mournful Beast begins an autopsy for Ms. Marvel.

Earth #371:

Under the cover of night, the Thieves Guild ready for Gambit’s funeral.

Earth #2189:

Namora, ruler of the world, is given an underwater funeral surrounded by numerous people, in a ceremony fit for a queen.

Earth #12:

At the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters, the X-Men sleep peacefully. Suddenly, there is a pink energy signature on the front lawn. Inside, the alarms go off. Cyclops snaps to attention and tells Jean to wake up. Elsewhere, Nightcrawler and Storm rush into the hallway. Kurt wonders who is attacking this time, and a Mohawk-sporting Storm tells him that they will be sorry. Wolverine also comes out of his room, claws out, angry that his dream was ruined.

The team rushes downstairs to see a pink-skinned woman carrying a body wrapped in cloth. Wolverine immediately realizes that it smells like Calvin, their missing teammate. Blink tells Wolverine that it is Calvin. She brought him home for a proper funeral.

As Blink begins to cry, she tells the X-Men that Calvin died fighting for what he believed in. She will tell them why he has been gone this whole time, and she hopes that they will tell her everything he never had a chance to share.

Characters Involved: 

Blink, Heather Hudson, Longshot, Proteus/Morph, Power Princess, Sabretooth, Spider-Man (Exiles)

Angel, Daredevil, Iron Man (former Weapon X)

Body of comatose Thunderbird (former Exile)

Bodies of Magnus, Magik, Namora (former Exiles)

Bodies of Colossus, Gambit, Hulk II, Kane, Maverick, Mesmero, Ms. Marvel, Spider, Storm, Vision, Wolverine (former Weapon X)

Various Timebreakers

Earth #12:

Body of Mimic

Cyclops, Jean Grey, Nightcrawler, Storm, Wolverine (X-Men)

Earth #27:

Body of Magnus

Magneto, Nightcrawler, Rogue (X-Men)

Earth #172:

Body of Wolverine

Mariko Yashida

Silver Samurai

Earth #181:



Earth #371:

Various Thieves Guild members

Earth #653:

Body of Mesmero

Various Weapon X employees

Earth #714:


Earth #873:

Betty Ross, General Thunderbolt Ross

Earth #1287:

Body of Maverick

Nick Fury, unnamed S.H.I.E.L.D. officer

Earth #1917:

Unknown grievers (presumed to be Illyana, Mikhail, and Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin)

Earth #2020:

Tony Stark

Various citizens of Earth #2020

Earth #3031:

Cable, Domino, Grizzly (Six Pack/Wild Pack)

Earth #4210:


Mr. and Mrs. Rasputin

Earth #4732:


Ms. Marvel

Earth #10101:

Scarlet Witch

Earth #2189:


Various Atlanteans

Earth #23895:

Body of Storm

Black Panther

Story Notes: 

Magnus died in Exiles #2 containing an explosion. Mesmero, Wolverine, and Maverick were original members of Weapon X whose causes of death are unknown, but confirmed in Exiles #68. Daredevil’s death was mentioned in Exiles #12, though initial scans of the Stasis Gallery did not include him as among the living, contradicting this issue’s reveal that he still lived. Kane also died off-panel and was confirmed dead in Exiles #12. Iron Man was seemingly removed off-panel and placed in the Stasis Gallery between Exiles #13 and #23. Angel was also removed off-panel and placed in the Stasis Gallery sometime between Exiles #26 and #38. Storm was seen already mortally wounded in the beginning of Exiles #38, on a mission to kill Bruce Banner. Vision was blasted in Exiles #38 for disobeying Hyperion’s orders, but didn’t die until the planet imploded in Exiles #40. Colossus was blown out into the vacuum of space by Hyperion in Exiles #40. Magik had her neck snapped by Hyperion in Exiles #44. Hulk II was killed by Hyperion in Exiles #44. Spider was incinerated by Firestar in Exiles #44. Ms. Marvel was apparently killed in Exiles #45 when Morph slammed him and her into a building. Gambit sacrificed himself to seemingly kill Hyperion in Exiles #45. Namora was flash-fried by Hyperion in Exiles #64.

There are other former members of the Exiles and Weapon X that did not appear in this issue. Thunderbird was left in a coma in Exiles #10. Sunfire was killed by a Brood-possessed Mimic in Exiles #37 and buried in Exiles #66. Firestar incinerated herself to ashes in order to kill Spider in Exiles #44; hence why there was no body for the Exiles to send back home. Nocturne was left behind in Reality #616 in Exiles #48. Holocaust was killed by Hyperion in Exiles #62, though the fate of his body is unknown. Hyperion, who was not killed by Gambit after all, broke out of the Stasis Gallery and wreaked havoc until he was sent back to his barren home-world in Exiles #65. Deadpool was believed to have died in Exiles #13, but his healing factor saved him in the Stasis Gallery, though he ended up being killed by Hulk I in Exiles #68. Hulk I was put in the Stasis Gallery after being sucked into the Negative Zone in Exiles #24, and sent home safely in Exiles #68. Beak was sent home in Exiles #71.

Issue Information: 

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