I (Heart) Marvel: My Mutant Heart #1

Issue Date: 
April 2006
Story Title: 
<BR><em>1st story:</em> The Promise <BR><em>2nd story:</em> How Love Works <BR><em>3rd story:</em> My Girlfriend, The Thief!

1st story: Daniel Way (writer), Ken Knudtsen (pencils), Jose Villarrubia (colors), Dave Lanphear (letters), Andy Schmidt & Molly Lazer (assistant editors), Aubrey Sitterson & Tom Brevoort (editors), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher)

2nd story: Peter Milligan (writer), Maroos Martin (pencils), Dave Lanphear (letters), Andy Schmidt & Molly Lazer (assistant editors), Tom Brevoort & Aubrey Sitterson (editors), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher)

3rd story: Tim Fish (writer & pencils), Wil Quintana (colors), Dave Lanphear (letters), Andy Schmidt & Molly Lazer (assistant editors), Aubrey Sitterson & Tom Brevoort (editor), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher)

Brief Description: 

1st story:
Wolverine stands in front of a grave in a cemetery in Amsterdam. He takes out a locket, and remembers a time from his past. More specifically, a time in 1943. After making love to his then-girlfriend, Catharina, she gave Logan her locket for good luck. Skipping towards their new mission, they arrive in a bunker and have to break into the lab of Dr. Maier. While Catharina goes to occupy the building’s guards, Logan enters it. Unfortunately, he soon gets lured into a cell and ends up trapped. Catharina betrayed him, only to make sure Dr. Maier would release her sisters whom he holds captive. Green fog fills Logan’s cell. Catharina tries to rescue Logan since Maier promised he would keep him alive to study. Maier lied, and has her shot. Before losing consciousness, Logan promises Maier no that, matter how long it would take him, he’ll kill the man for this. Today, Logan stands before Maier’s grave, and leaves the locket on it.

2nd story:
Private Investigator Chandler is hired by rich man James Gilray, who believes his wife, Birgit, is cheating on him. Chandler accepts the job, and tails Birgit for five days. Eventually, he discovers that she is having an affair, with none other than Doop! Disgusted by seeing a gorgeous woman like Birgit making love to what is literally a green potato, Chandler still lies to James, claiming his wife isn’t having an affair. The truth is that Chandler has fallen in love. Unfortunately, a few days later, James discovers the truth and Birgit has left him. Chandler apologizes for lying to him and gives James the address to her hotel. After getting punched in the face by James, Chandler realizes James is crazy and will probably do something about the same. He quickly drives to the hotel, where he knocks James out before he can kill Birgit and Doop. Chandler admits he fell in love the first time they met. He drives away, with Doop sitting next to him! As they continue to drive away, Chandler and Doop start making love.

3rd story:
Cannonball has been living at his girlfriend’s, Lila Cheney, apartment for a while now. He is glad that he can watch her every move now, as he hasn’t been able to for a very long time. This apparently makes Lila a bit uneasy and Sam wonders why. He suspects that she might be going back to her former thieving ways. Lila leaves, claiming she has to practice with her band. Sam decides to follow her but, before he can, Lila has already teleported away somewhere else. This makes Sam even more suspicious and he searches the apartment for evidence. He finds a weird, glowing object. Lila teleports back home and catches Sam red-handed, demanding to know what he’s doing. Sam tries to lie about it, but Lila doesn’t believe him and hopes he isn’t thinking what she thinks he’s thinking. She explains that the diamond he holds was supposed to be an anniversary present for him, but now he blew it. Lila ignores Sam for the following days, even though he does his best to make it up to her. When Sam joins Lila to one of her shows, he notices how she gets attacked by an alien, arriving on Earth and claiming Lila stole his guitar, which she played on now. Sam defeats the alien, explaining to him that the guitar belongs to Lila, as he bought it when she was feeling blue because her career was slipping. He tells the alien to leave, because Sam now realizes that Lila is a woman of her word, and he trusts her. The disappointed alien leaves, and Sam and Lila make up again.

Full Summary: 

Zorgvield Cemetery, Amsterdam, current time…
Wolverine silently stands, in his X-Men uniform, before a grave. He takes out a golden locket from his pocket. He takes a closer look at it, and remembers a time from his past.

Berlin, 1943…
While lying in bed with a beautiful, blonde woman, Logan claims he should not have let this happen. The woman, wearing the exact same locket, smiles that it’s nothing, defending that she let it happen too. Logan takes an angry look at her, but calms down, and smiles. The woman takes off her locket and wants Logan to have it. Logan won’t let Catharina do it, but she wants to give Logan her locket for good luck. She wants to make Logan promises something in case they never see each other again, but Logan stops her, confidant that they will. He promises her that. He puts his pants on, and leaves.

Catharina follows him. They arrive in front of a bunker. She explains that Dr. Maier will be in his lab in the Southeast corner of the second floor, and she has learned that the guy prefers to work alone, especially at night. She promises to guard the front of the building and occupy its guards. Logan enters the bunker, and Catharina hopes God will keep him safe.

But as Logan goes deeper into the building, he enters a room and ends up trapped! A viewing window opens. Dr. Meier and a soldier show themselves, and… Catharina is at their side? Meier reveals to Logan that Catharina has betrayed him. He wonders how that makes Logan feel. Logan takes an angry look on his face. Catharina apologizes to her love, claiming she didn’t have a choice, as these soldiers have captured her sisters. She couldn’t bear the horrors they would inflict on her sisters, so she had to do this. She truly is sorry.

Green fog fills Logan’s cell. He panics a bit. Catharina protest, shouting at Meier that he promised he would only study on him, and said he needed Logan alive. Meier sarcastically smiles, remembering saying those words, but he also said that he would let Catharina live. He has the soldier shoot her!
Logan hears the gunshot and angrily protests. He tries to escape his cell, but more fog appears by the second. Meier finds Logan to be an interesting specimen, and finds it a shame that he was born a mongrel. He asks the soldier what he thinks Logan is saying. In his cell, Logan, almost without breath, promises that no matter how long it will take him, he’ll hunt Meier down. And when he does, he’ll kill him.

Zorgvield Cemetery, Amsterdam, current time…
Wolverine leaves the locket on Maier’s grave. He notices that it’s day again, and leaves.

2nd story:
James Gilray believes that his beautiful wife, Birgit, is having an affair. It’s been going on a few weeks now. Detective Chandler tells James that his wife is beautiful. While drinking, James admits that he knows that, just like every other lone wolf in this city does. He begs Chandler to find out the truth, because not knowing it is killing him. Chandler doesn’t think it will hurt less when he finds out Birgit is having an affair. He’s afraid that isn’t how love works.

In any way, Chandler takes on the case. As he tries to find Birgit across town, he wonders how love does work, and how a marriage like James and Birgit’s stops working. She’s an intelligent and successful woman, besides being absolutely gorgeous. They are both beautiful, young and rich. Gilray assured Chandler that everything was fine in the bedroom.

Chandler spots Birgit with a man named Jimmy in his sport scar, driving to a local restaurant. He follows them in it. Birgit tells Jimmy that she thinks a man is staring at her, but he claims she’s being silly. Chandler hides behind his newspaper, wondering why Birgit wants to risk having an affair. What would it take to lure Birgit away from all the joy she has in her life?

The detective follows Birgit to her apartment, and finds out that she’s making love to… a green potato?! Birgit tells Doop not to worry about the curtains and just come back to bed with her. A startled Chandler jokes that you see something new every day.

Chandler goes back to his office and contacts James. He explains that he has been spying on Birgit for five days now, and can honestly tell James she’s not seeing with another man. A happy James leaves the office. Chandler doesn’t know why he didn’t tell James the truth. He realizes that other private investigators focus on murders, money and missing people. Chandler specializes himself in broken hearts. He believes that maybe he is sick of all the misery. Maybe he wants to believe that love can work. He has seen how beautiful Birgit is. She could have any man she wanted. But she chooses for a big, green potato like Doop, and drives with him in a sports car.

Doop and Birgit enter a hotel together. She orders the manager to have some Champaign and Belgian cookies brought to their room, including some live bugs. They leave to their bedroom to make more love. Chandler, still spying on her, doesn’t believe this relationship can last. And then, Birgit is bound to move on to some other new lover. And when that time comes, Chandler will be waiting (hey, he’s only human, which is more than he can say about the green potato).

The relationship between Doop and Birgit goes for a few more days. They even hang out at the beach together. Chandler still spies on them, and keeps lying to James, until he finds out the truth. James angrily demands to know why Chandler lied to him, as Birgit left him this morning, leaving nothing but a note saying she did. Chandler admits that he got emotionally involved, and that Birgit and her new lover booked a room in Nevada. He gives the hotel, and promises to waive his usual fee. He starts drinking and apologizes for this, but James angrily hits Chandler and leaves.

Chandler realizes that James is acting crazy right now and can do anything right now. Chandler admits that he’s crazy in love, and rushes to his car hoping he won’t be too late. A few moments later, he arrives in front of Birgit and Doop’s hotel and hears gunshots and screams. Chandler runs towards their room and breaks the door open. James orders him to stay out of this, wanting to kill his wife and Doop. Chandler wastes no time and simply knocks James out. He reaches out his hand, guessing he fell in love the moment they met, and wants to give their relationship a chance.

Later, Chandler admits that he broke the first rule of his profession: he fell in love with someone he was tailing. This sure wasn’t the way he planned it. But he guesses that’s the way love works. And it does work sometimes. Chandler drives away in his car, with Doop sitting next to him! They start making love.

3rd story:
Cannonball remembers that he has been hanging out at his girlfriend, Lila Cheney’s, apartment for a while now, because his is getting fumigated. And for the first time since a very long time, he has noticed her every move. The more Sam watched her, the more nervous she seemed to get. Lila had been “working on the new set” for weeks now! First, she worked alone, writing new songs. Then the band came along and they practiced together. But always, they didn’t want to be disturbed. They hadn’t played out in ages, and yet Sam saw Lila less than ever! Her frequent disappearing acts made Sam’s imagination race wildly. Could Lila be using her powers of intergalactic teleportation to return to her old ways? Her old life of crime? Sam didn’t know how he could face his girlfriend, the thief.

Lila is getting ready. She tells Sam she is off to practice, and tells Sam not to forget to lock up when he leaves this time. Sam promises to do that, and asks Lila if she wants him to stop by the practice. Lila hesitates, telling Sam not to do it, claiming the band is still working on the new set, claiming it won’t be any fun for him. And she remembers that half of the time Sam tells her he’ll come visit her, he takes off to correct some wrong-doings as Cannonball anyway. She tells him goodbye and slams the door shut.

Sam puts on his jacket, remembering that Lila swore she would give up her thieving ways. He refuses to believe she’s falling back into it. He wants to find out the truth. He had trusted Lila with his whole heart, until now. She has never given him any reason not to trust her, but her behavior has been so sketchy lately. And Lila’s ability to teleport to other galaxies could easily explain why she needed “some time alone.” Sam takes off and sees Lila leaving to her club, but eventually teleports away, making it Sam unable to find her.

He returns to Lila’s apartment. He begins to “casually” look around it, searching for evidence of her intergalactic travels. And after a few hours, he finds a guitar and a small, glowing tiny diamond. Sam is stunned and confused, and wants to talk to Lila. But she suddenly teleports inside the apartment again, angrily demanding to know what Sam is doing. Speechless, Sam tries to fake that he was looking for his keys. Lila realizes Sam is lying, and is bad at it too. Sam admits that, but wants to know where she got the glowing thing. Lila hopes Sam isn’t saying what she thinks he’s saying.

Sam believes he is right, and that the thing is alien in origin and that Lila stole it. Lila denies that, revealing that she has been playing with the band on Planet 201 in order to pay for it. She explains that the glowing thing is a rare Congrevean love-sphere. It was supposed to be an anniversary present. Lila admits that she always has a hard time trying to find a present for Sam. She even had to get a job all the way across the galaxy just to do something nice for him. Lila can’t believe Sam would accuse her of stealing, even when she gave him her word she wouldn’t do it anymore. She doesn’t think her word means anything to Sam, and angrily leaves again.

Cannonball realizes he made a mistake, and feels sorry for it. In the coming days, Lila does her best to ignore Sam, but he is determined to make it up to her. He cleans the house, and even buys presents for her. He even sang a song for her and cooked a meal, did everything he could think of to win her back. But nothing seems to work. In fact, things were getting worse, even when he visited the club to hear Lila and her band perform.

After the show, Lila feels greet, except for their song “Sing-Y Song-Y,” which she admits she totally crushed. Suddenly, a teleportation portal opens and an alien comes running through it! He calls out to Lila, claiming she has stolen his guitar and has traveled light years to reclaim it. He desperately wants his Fender guitar back as its sound quality is unsurpassed throughout the entire galaxy. He grabs Lila who does her best in defending her guitar. The alien explains that the tracking devices he placed on the guitar and the Galactic Gateway Maker 3000 have allowed him the opportunity to reclaim it. He won’t leave Earth without it.

Sam notices that Lila is in danger and rushes into action, and punches the alien as hard as he can. He eventually manages to knock him down. He explains to the alien that he’s making a mistake. This isn’t his guitar. He bought it for Lila when she was feeling blue when her career was tanking. He remembers scratching it on the way home and shows the scratches, which are still on the guitar. He tells the alien to just shove it, because Lila is the type of girl who keeps her word. He now realizes that who she was no longer matters, as it isn’t who she is today. Lila Cheney is the girl who he loves, and trusts.

The alien doesn’t want to leave without the guitar, as he promised the fan club, in honor of Lila, he would come back with it. He even begs Sam to give it to him. He doesn’t think so, and tells the alien to leave. He opens his transportation portal again, and disappointed leaves.

Sam admits to Lila that he realizes what a fool he has been. Lila also admits that she probably has been acting a little suspicious, but she is just used to having her space. She suggests that they just forgive each other. Sam agrees. He and Lila kiss, realizing they will get lucky tonight.

Characters Involved: 

1st story:

in Wolverine’s flash-back:


Dr. Lukas Maier
World War II soldier (unnamed)

2nd story:

Mr. Chandler (private investigator)
Birgit Gilray
James Gilray

restaurant visitors, waiters and several other people (all unnamed)

3rd story:

Lila Cheney
Lila’s band (all unnamed)

alien (unnamed)
club visitors (all unnamed)

Story Notes: 

I (Heart) Marvel is a two month-long celebration of romance in the Marvel Universe. For four weeks this month and one of next month, Marvel released five one-shot issues starring some of their characters. Other one-shots besides this issue are Web of Romance, Outlaw Love, Marvel AI and Masked Intentions. Also, a Marvel Romance five-part limited series was released, namely Redux: But He Said He Loved Me.

1st story:
First appearance of Catharina and Dr. Lukas Maier. It’s at this point only known that Catharina and Logan were lovers, not how they met.

2nd story:
First appearance of Mr. Chandler, James and Birgit Gilray.

3rd story:
First appearance of the alien who wants to claim Lila’s guitar. It’s also the first mentioning of Planet 201’s existence.

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