First Story:
‘Unnnh…’ moans Meggan as she slowly regains consciousness. Confused, the founding member of the British super group Excalibur wonders where she is, before deciding that everything seems to be normal - except for her, as she has a awful polka-dot dress on and a apron. She wonders what is going on, when suddenly arms sprout from the chair she is sitting on and clamp tight around her mouth!
‘Okay, lady…start explaining!’ declares the chair, which causes Meggan to leap to her feet, slightly restrained, and exclaim ‘Unhand me you…you…chair!’ The chair obliges, but warns Meggan that they have other ways of making her talk, and suddenly knives and forks fly out of the kitchen drawer and all make a beeline towards her. ‘What kind of insane nightmare is this?’ Meggan wonders, ducking beneath a table for protection, relieved that she is safe after all the cutlery finds itself stuck in the table.
Suddenly, the table transforms…into a toaster! ‘Hey! Now what’s happening?’ Meggan wonders, muttering ‘I had to ask’ when the toaster pops up a large piece of bread - with Meggan stuck inside it. The toast bounces along the kitchen floor, until Meggan breaks free, ‘All right! I’ve had it!’ she exclaims, and now back in her yellow one-piece outfit, Meggan starts exploring the strange house she is in, declaring that someone is going to pay for this!
Entering another room, a shocked Meggan stands in the doorway - ‘That does it! Now I’ve seen everything!’ she remarks as she stands before two very strange looking people - a large Frankenstein-like man and a sultry woman dressed in black. ‘What’s the matter, dear?’ asks the woman, before the man smiles and tells her that she acts like she has never seen her Aunt Lilac and Uncle Norman before. ‘Is something wrong?’
‘Aw, don’t worry about her!’ remarks a small boy as he enters the room. ‘Freddy’s home already!’ exclaims Lilac, ‘Yeah, what a day! It’s been bloody murder!’ Lilac tells her son that he does them proud and that only if his cousin Meggan’s behavior was as easy to understand. Freddy declares that Meggan has probably just seen herself in a mirror for the first time, as it would be enough to scare anyone!
Elsewhere, Meggan’s teammate Kitty “Shadowcat” Pryde continues to phase through various rooms and mechanical equipment, pulling apart various wires and programs, knowing that she doesn’t know what ramifications she is causing, but hopes it is having some effect on the rest of her missing team. And until she can locate Excalibur, this is all she can do to help.
Elsewhere still, Excalibur’s handsome leader Captain Britain is walking along the yellow brick road when a Tin Man hurls his axe at Brian, ‘Flag Man…Flag Man…’ he groans. Brian turns to the Tin Man, ‘The name’s Captain Britain - and you’ve got some explaining to do!’ declares Brian, before remarking ‘Never mind - the answer is obvious - I’m losing my mind!’
Back at Meggan’s location, the phone rings. Everyone turns to it and Freddy exclaims he will get it, when a hand reaches out from a box and grabs the phone. ‘Darn! Da Fing beat me to it again!’ Freddy exclaims. Running down the stairs comes a large man dressed in a suit followed by what can only be described as a found-furry thing with arms, legs…and glasses. ‘You rang?’ asks the large man as the furry thing mutters something in its own language. ‘No way, Twit! It’s gotta be for me!’ exclaims the tall man, but as Da Fing hands the phone to Meggan, Norman tells Belch that it looks like the phone is for Cousin Meggan.
Meggan looks at the phone somewhat afraid. ‘Err…I can’t come to the phone right now!’ she exclaims. ‘Same old story, eh, Twit?’ mutters Belch. Twit utters something in his language, which Belch obviously understands, as he agrees with Twit, wondering why if Meggan is so unpopular the phone calls are always for her. Suddenly Meggan screams ‘They can’t always be for me! I’ve never been here before! I don’t know any of you TV rejects!’ Lilac looks at Norman and remarks that although Meggan has always been a little different, she has never gone through this sort of denial stage before. Norman suggests it might be time to call Dr. Bones.
Norman points out that they wouldn’t want to upset Meggan’s mother, as she has got such a fiery disposition. But as a large burst of flame surges past Meggan and Norman, Lilac remarks that that they are too late! A large green dragon approaches everyone and claims that she has heard everything that’s been going on, and that she will take care of her own daughter. ‘Your WHAT?’ screams Meggan, before telling the dragon that she has no idea who or what she is, and that she is clearly not her daughter, that she has nothing whatsoever in common with her. ‘Oh, no?’ sneers the dragon, when Meggan suddenly turns into a dragon also.
Norman smiles and remarks that some good may come of this, as Meggan has never looked so good. Meggan exclaims that she doesn’t know how they turned her into this…thing…but that they are not going to get away with it. Suddenly, and elderly man asks Meggan what she means, claiming that no one is trying to get away with anything, before he leaps at Meggan. ‘Way to go, Grampire!’ exclaims Freddy, before Meggan tells Grampire that one thing he is sure not to get is her blood, and opens her dragon-mouth wide, letting out a mighty burst of flame, sending Grampire flying away.
Meggan turns to “Mommy dearest”, informing her that it is her turn. ‘Really, dear, you wouldn’t do anything to hurt your mother now, would you?’ the dragon asks. ‘No, I wouldn’t’ replies Meggan, before unleashing a mighty blast of flame, which hit’s the dragon as Meggan remarks ‘You’re a completely different matter!’ Meggan returns to normal, then there is a large explosion and she finds herself alone in the room.
Meggan realizes that she didn’t manage to get any answers, and decides to begin somewhere else. Looking around the room she discovers a loose panel in a wall, she punches it open, deciding that this is as good a spot as any to start.
But elsewhere, Gums Gunny, the leader of the Loonies, informs his teammates that the boss didn’t change the original plans, which means that somebody else has been messing things up around here. With Captain Britain strapped to some machine behind them, the Ham tells Gummy that it sounds pretty screwy and asks who would do such a thing. ‘That, my friend, is exactly what we are going to find out!’ declares Gums Gunny.
