New York City: local super hero Peter Parker a.k.a. Spider-Man swings from building to building, carrying his girlfriend, the mutant super hero from the X-Men, Kitty Pryde, along with him. The two are discussing possible code-names for Kitty. ‘Shadowcat’ she remarks, which is her current name. ‘Meh’ Spider-Man replies. ‘The Cat’. ‘Meh’. ‘The Shroud’. ‘Meh’. ‘If you “meh” me one more time – ‘Kitty begins, until Spider-Man interrupts, telling Kitty that those names suck. ‘They do not!’ Kitty snaps back. ‘Those names aren’t you!’ Peter exclaims.
Kitty declares that she needs a super-hero name, to which Peter tells her ‘Fine – but those suck’. ‘Like Spider-Man is such a great name!’ Kitty replies. ‘It works!’ Peter points out. Kitty mutters that “meh” is the worst word in the English language, when suddenly a bolt of lightning-like energy strikes a building nearby. ‘Uh…did you see that?’ Spider-Man asks Kitty, when suddenly the top half of the building blows up. ‘Oh my God!’ Kitty exclaims.
The building in questions is the Baxter Building, and Reed “Mr. Fantastic” Richards of the Fantastic Four orders a lock-down, shouting out the security code, and ordering everyone out of the building now. ‘Well, this is a “hey, how are ya”?’ Ben Grimm a.k.a. the Thing jokes as he, Reed, Johnny and Susan are attacked by a group of super-humans not from their world. Zarda a.k.a. Princess Power replies to the Thing’s comment, but her words a jumbled, and no one can understand her. ‘Really, ya don’t say?’ Ben replies jokingly.
Susan Storm a.k.a. the Invisible Woman asks if anyone has any guesses as to this little intrusion of their personal space. ‘You’re the brain, Susie…’ Ben points out. Another of the intruders mutters something indecipherable, while Susan approaches the one called Tom Thumb. ‘Hi, little guy!’ she exclaims. Susan’s brother, Johnny Storm a.k.a. the Human Torch tells Reed that he has many questions about this – in no particular order. ‘Firstly, what language is this?’ Reed replies that it is not one spoken on this planet. Wrapping his malleable body around one of them, reed adds that he does not know why they are doing this.
Arcanna Jones unleashes her quantum powers while also saying something unrecognizable. Susan tells her brother to ‘Watch it with the fire!’ before using her powers to put a force field around Hyperion. ‘Yeah, we wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to our stuff’ Johnny jokes, as all their stuff is in fact destroyed. The Thing plows through the intruders, telling them that they are trashing his buddy’s lab and now he is going to cry. ‘You want to see a stretchy man cry?’ Susan tells Reed that she gets the impression that the intruders are not in complete control of themselves, that they seem confused.
‘Oh, like we’re not!’ the Thing shouts. Reed exclaims that he is about to end this, and fast. With that, he radios to the Triskelon, informing them that the Baxter Building is under attack. HERBIE picks up on this and initiates defense mode. Blur uses his super speed to repeatedly attack the Thing, who cannot get a single punch in. The Thing is about to announce what the only thing worse than a speedster is, when someone puts their hand on his head. He looks around – only to be smacked over by Hyperion. Ben wipes his mouth, then snarls ‘Huh, I thought you had something there’. Hyperion says something indecipherable and the two power-houses engage in a fist fight. Eventually, the Thing grabs Hyperion and tosses him with all his might into the air, way out of the rubble that is the Baxter Building.
Spider-Man and Kitty see Hyperion being tosses past them and realize they must be at the right place. Spider-Man drops in and asks the Fantastic Four what is going on. ‘You, like, having a party or something?’ Kitty drops down and the Thing asks who is next. Power Princess approaches him and smacks him over towards Kitty Pryde, who phases so that he passes right through her.
Nighthawk motions to Blur, who sees Hyperion in the sky and races out of the building after his teammate. Hyperion bounces off another building while Blur speeds all over the city trying to rescue his teammate. Eventually, he races across water, past the Statue of Liberty and into a populated area, where he helps the civilians as Hyperion crashes into them. Blur’s words are slowly becoming recognizable and he asks why he cannot talk, before putting an ear to Hyperion’s chest to listen for a heartbeat, before turning back towards the Baxter Building as various forms of power sound around it.
The misplaced super humans’ sentences are becoming easier to understand, and Nuke tells the Human Torch that he is under arrest. Spider-Man mutters that he hates it when bad guys won’t tell you who they are. Reed tells Spider-Man that they appreciate his help, to which Spider-Man replies that he owes the Fantastic Four a ton, before asking what language this is. ‘Latverian?’, to which Reed replies that he doesn’t think it is a language. He points out that the unidentified humans do not seem to be pleased with the noises that are coming out of their mouths, and he doesn’t think they are fully in control of their powers. Kitty asks Reed if she can borrow his phone, to which Reed replies ‘It’s right over there’ and informs her to dial “nine”.
‘They like to make a mess!’ the Thing exclaims as he battles Power Princess, while Arcanna motions to Kitty, who is behind a set of pipes and talking on the phone, telling Storm that the X-Men need to get over to the Baxter Building, as things are going crazy, when suddenly, the phone turns into a bunch of flowers. ‘Damn it! Why aren’t my powers working?’ Arcanna shouts. ‘Okay, that was sufficiently weird!’ Kitty exclaims.
Doctor Spectrum calls out to his teammates, telling them that he thinks he is getting his voice back and asks if any of them can hear him. The Thing grabs Doctor Spectrum, who is unleashing his powers, while Spider-Man shoots his webbing at Kingsley, and the Shape bounces along, announcing that his powers aren’t working.
‘What was that Arcanna?’ Nighthawk shouts. Arcanna replies that it might have been the dimensional travel, to which Doctor Spectrum tells her to fix it. ‘It is fixing, Spectrum! What do you want from me?’ Arcanna snaps back. Nighthawk mutters that they should have never relied on Arcanna for something this important, to which Arcanna calls him something offensive and suggests that he find a way to transport a large group of people across inter-dimensional space next time. ‘Hey, whoa! Language!’ Spider-Man tells Arcanna, before informing them that he liked it better when they all sounded like Flipper.
Nearby, Blur crouches by Hyperion, who slowly rises. Hyperion asks Blur if he is all right, to which Blur replies that he can talk again, and asks Hyperion if he is okay. ‘I am now!’ Hyperion replies.
Back at the Baxter Building, Arcanna reminds her teammates that she told them that when they decided to do this, that this travel has a lot of x-factor. Arcanna suggests that their biology took a little time to get used to this place, but now they are getting it together. Nighthawk argues with her, pointing out that they should never have transported right on top of them if there was a chance that they would not be themselves upon arrival. ‘Hey, I got an idea – why don’t you guys just beat each other up and we’ll just watch!’ the Thing shouts at Arcanna and Nighthawk.
The Thing calls the invaders “yokels” and remarks that now they can talk, how about clueing everyone in as to why they are here. He looks to the sky and sees Hyperion flying back towards him. ‘Oh, you again – time for another smack in the puss?’ Hyperion reaches the Thing with tremendous force, but before he can attack him, he is knocked away by a powerful bolt of energy, which also signals the arrival of Nick Fury and the Ultimates – Captain America! Iron Man! Thor! Scarlet Witch! Hawkeye! Quicksilver! Ant-Man! Wasp!
Fury introduces himself and informs the intruders that they are all under arrest. ‘Cease this $#%^% immediately or we’ll do it for you!’ he bellows. ‘Translation – you made a big “whoops!”’ Wanda a.k.a. the sultry Scarlet Witch exclaims. ‘What? You guys having a party?’ Janet van Dyne a.k.a. the Wasp asks. Spider-Man smacks Nuke over and declares that he made the same joke. ‘You did it funnier!’ Kitty assures her boyfriend. Spider-Man exclaims that he loves this girl, before telling his foes that, in case they were wondering, ‘You’re in a lot of trouble now!’
Hyperion takes to the sky, ‘You people would defend such a man?’ he asks. Thor warns him to stand down or else feel his wrath, to which Hyperion continues to fly towards him. Captain America exclaims that they have a situation here, and orders the building to be sealed. ‘Uh-oh…’ Kitty mumbles as Hyperion and Thor clash in the sky. Ant-Man makes his way to Tom Thumb, while Wanda flies over to Arcanna, both powerful women surging with their respective energies.
Hyperion smacks Thor in the jaw, while Captain America tosses his shield around and asks Reed if he can fill them in on what happened. ‘Uh, no, actually’, Reed replies. ‘He really can’t!’ Spider-Man exclaims. Inertia exclaims ‘You’re just making it harder ion yourselves, you know that!’ to which someone asks ‘We who? Harder than what?’ Iron Man blasts his opponent while remarking to his allies that, whoever these people are, one has to give them credit for not crapping their pants when the Ultimates showed up. ‘I would have!’ he jokes.
Nick Fury fires his weapon at Nuke, while some lightning strikes Hyperion. Thor smiles, remarking that he thought it was his, to which Ororo “Storm” Munroe exclaims ‘You can thank the X-Men!’ She is flanked by her teammates in the mutant super team Wolverine, Marvel Girl, Cyclops, Iceman and Rogue. Kitty smiles upon seeing her teammates and shouts ‘You guys rock! I love being on a team!’ Storm flies above everyone, surveying the situation and remarks that Kitty wasn’t kidding, ‘This is a real thing-a-ding!’
‘Okay, whose first?’ Wolverine asks, while Mr. Fantastic informs the intruders that they are no overpowered and outmanned. He suggests that before this escalates into someone actually dying, they reveal why they are here and what it is they want. ‘Turn of the wind!’ Arcanna shouts. Hyperion smashes Thor again, before calling out to Reed. ‘Yes? What?’ Mr Fantastic asks, looking up at Hyperion. ‘You’re under arrest!’ Hyperion shouts. ‘Oh really? ‘ mutters Susan, while Nick Fury wants to know by whose authority.
Hyperion exclaims that they have come here to bring Richards to answer for his crimes against humanity. ‘Uh-huh’ Reed mumbles. The Invisible Woman asks what they think Reed has actually done to them, to which an angry Nighthawk shouts ‘What did you do? You destroyed our world! You destroyed everything!’ Claiming innocence, Reed replies that he doesn’t even know who they are, that he has never heard of or seen them before. ‘What world?’ he asks.
Suddenly, Reed stops talking as Princess Power holds up a small probe. ‘You didn’t. Tell me you didn’t!’ Nick Fury asks, while Reed just looks at the probe, his jaw dropping. Susan asks Reed what it is, but she doesn’t get an answer, as Hyperion shouts ‘You’ve destroyed our world – and you will answer for what you have done!’
