Ultimate Spider-Man #94

Issue Date: 
July 2006
Story Title: 
Deadpool: part 4
Staff: 

Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Mark Bagley (pencils), John Dell & Mark McKenna (inks), Justin Ponsor (colors), VC’s Cory Petit (letters), Tom Valente (production), Nicole Boose (assistant editor), John Barber (associate editor), Ralph Macchio (editor), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher)

Brief Description: 

The X-Men are all startled to discover that Deadpool and Professor Xavier are one and the same person! Spider-Man has a hard time accepting this fact as well, and punches the guy into his face! The X-Men hold Spidey back, but he believes they are dealing with the real Deadpool, using his image inducer to fool them again just the same way he did when he managed to kidnap them in the first place. Deadpool smiles that the webslinger is correct, and opens fire at him and the mutants again. Meanwhile, Beezer gives the word to the show’s executive producer, Mojo Adams. Mojo declares that he has dedicated his life to punishing mutant villains and also reveals that he holds the real Xavier captive, and even makes him watch the horrors his students have to go through. Deadpool and his team of Reavers get another lock on the X-Men and take the shot. Kitty phases through some of the robotic bodies of the Reavers, thus electrocuting them. Kitty is in turn knocked out by Deadpool, however Spider-Man and Nightcrawler team up, and use their quick reflexes to take the villain down. While the X-Men take care of the Reavers, Spider-Man rips off Deadpool’s mask, and reveals that Wadey Wilson has an actual robotic face! With the others are startled at this discovery, Kitty gets an idea. After Colossus throws her at the villain, she phases through Deadpool’s body. Deadpool too gets short-circuited, but the shocks are so heavy that it causes him to explode and leads to the destruction of the Reavers as well! The X-Men make it to Beezer’s studio, and Jean defeats him. She also uses her powers to release Xavier from his chains and he takes care of Mojo. With all the villains gone, the X-Men return home. Xavier thanks Spider-Man for his help and drops both him and Kitty off at Queens. Peter wants to spill the secret to his aunt that he is Spider-Man, because he has been missing for almost two days without calling. Kitty goes with him but, once inside the house, they discover that his Aunt May isn’t even there. Apparently, May is out on a date that is going so well she’s spending the night with Doctor Miles Warren.

Full Summary: 

Augustus Beezer welcomes his viewers back to the show. On Krakoa Island, the jungle-trained warriors led by the enigmatic Deadpool have chased the X-Men and the show’s unexpected guest, Spider-Man, through the jungles of the island. When the show went on a small break, the X-Men managed to capture Deadpool. And when Deadpool was unmasked, the teenage heroes were all shocked to discover that he was none other than… Professor Xavier?!

Shadowcat demands to know what’s going on. Xavier, sitting ashamed on his knees, begs his children to heed his words and to run away from this place as far as they can. Storm wants to know how their captors could have done this to the Professor. The Professor calls their jailors monsters. Colossus notices that the Professor can stand on his legs again, and doesn’t understand how that’s possible. Xavier recalls that he told the team to never come to this island but Angel quickly defends that they were kidnapped.

Finally speaking up, Spider-Man asks everyone to wait a second. He then suddenly punches Xavier into his face! Kitty is shocked to see her boyfriend do this, though Beezer is impressed. When Kitty demands to know what Spidey is doing, he explains that he believes that they are dealing with the shape-shifter.

In disbelief, Storm powers up, reminding Spider-Man that he just hit their teacher. Spider-Man believes otherwise and that they are dealing with the guy who tricked the X-Men in the first place. Kurt asks the Professor what to do. “Xavier” orders the X-Men to kill Spider-Man, believing that he is one of the monsters. Kitty tries to calm everyone down. “Xavier” jokes that it’s just like Lucy and the football, and starts shooting at the X-Men!

Angel is quickly hit in his wings, but the other X-Men and Spidey manage to dodge the shots. Peter reminds Kitty that he has a spider-sense and they’ve got to learn to trust that. Kitty apologizes, because the guy really acted and sounded like the Professor.

Beezer smiles to his audience that they almost had the X-Men this time. He reveals that “Professor Xavier” really was Deadpool ,using his trademark image distortion cloaking device. (more about the cloaking device can be found on the show’s website). The X-Men mistook Deadpool for their missing Professor Charles Xavier. For more on that, the show now turns its attention over to their long time executive: Mojo.

Beezer asks Mojo what he’s got for the viewers. Mojo claims that this program is more than a television show broadcasting to half of the world. This is a courtroom and a public execution. This is man’s justice. Mojo reveals that he has dedicated his life to the punishment of mutants who break the law, and he believes that the X-Men are the worst criminals the world has ever seen.

Mojo continues to explain that there is a man who brought these children together. He trained the X-Men and armed them. It is a man who has spent his entire life dedicated to building an army of mutant terrorists, to inflict his nightmare on an unassuming world. Mojo states that this man’s punishment is poetic and just. He shows the viewers that he has Xavier chained in the same room he is standing in, and keeps the Professor forced to watch the decimation of his dream. And after that, Mojo promises, Xavier will be lobotomized on the air. His powerful mutant brain will turn into jelly. It will be a reminder to all those mutants who would raise themselves above the laws of mankind. Tonight, Mojo concludes, the world will see the physical destruction of the X-Men and the final moment of Charles Xavier’s “twisted” dream.

Beezer is glad to have Mr. Mojo back on the show and is certain the viewers feel the same way. The show will come back to him as it continues. Right now, Beezer wants to return to the jungle to see how the X-Men and Spider-Man are doing.

At the jungle, Spider-Man asks the X-Men if they remember how Deadpool disguised himself as other people to trap the entire team. Storm believes that the point has been made. Peter feels exhausted. Kurt asks Storm where Scott is, as he is nowhere to be seen. Peter noticed that they lost Scott half a mile back into the jungle.

Elsewhere, Deadpool picks up his mask and declares to his Reavers that they are once again good to go. It’s time to bring it in for the big finale. One of the Reavers states that the X-Men and Spider-Man are all stronger than they look. Deadpool reminds his team to focus. He wants to pull off the legs of Spider-Man for the kids at home, and suggests they take it from there. He believes that the reason why this show isn’t going smoothly is because they didn’t plan for Spider-Man to be on board. And to be frank, the webslinger is starting to get on Deadpool’s nerves. They didn’t come this far to loose, so that isn’t going to happen. He asks his team if any of them has Spider-Man on any of the thousand cameras that are on this island.

Beezer interrupts. He explains to his audience that the control room is also looking for Spider-Man and the X-Men. And they’ve got them! He reports back to the Deadpool that their prisoners are situated southeast of him, about fifty yards. It looks like the mutants are heading towards the studio! And Beezer would really like that not to happen. Deadpool and the Reavers run into their prisoners, and he asks Cruise if he’s got a lock on them. Cruise has and Deadpool orders to take the shot.

At the same time, Storm states to the others that they’ve got to get to the studio they can see up on a hill. She believes that’s where their captors are holding Xavier. Spider-Man hopes that, since they are in a TV show, they can win an Emmy for this. Suddenly, Spider-Man gets shot! Beezer is thrilled. Kitty is stunned and is speechless. Instead, and an angry look comes across her face. Storm gets worried about her.

Deadpool and the Reavers open fire on the X-Men. Kitty instead phases through the armors of some of the Reavers, and her powers short-circuit their suits! Beezer declares to his audience that the rumored relationship between Spider-Man and Kitty Pryde appears to be true. Deadpool sneaks up on Kitty, and hits her with a shocking device.

Beezer desperately tries to warn Deadpool about the incoming danger, but is too late. Nightcrawler teleports nearby the villain, and takes his shocking device out of his hands! The Reavers, uncertain what’s happening, open fire on Kurt but as he teleports away again, Deadpool gets hit and falls unconscious at Kitty’s feet!

Kurt then teleports to the other Reavers and uses the device he took from Deadpool to take them out. Meanwhile, Angel flies Deadpool high up in the air, and throws him harshly back into the jungle! Once down, Deadpool is done with having fun, and instead ends up getting hit by Spider-Man. As the battle between the X-Men and the Reavers continues, Spider-Man and Deadpool also continue to fight each other. Spidey gains the upper hand, and rips off Deadpool’s mask.

Everyone is shocked when they discover that Deadpool’s face is… entirely bionic! Deadpool angrily declares that he already told the X-Men and Spider-Man about this: he and the Reavers gave up everything to destroy them. He kicks Spidey into his face and starts shooting at the rest. He declares that the mutants don’t have what it takes to bring down him and his team. Beezer apologizes to his viewers that they had to see this. He states that, as he explained earlier in the show, the Reavers went through grueling surgical experiments to make themselves equal to the task of fighting super-powered mutant youth. And as the viewers can see, Wadey Wilson took it as far as a man can.

Kitty asks Colossus to throw her at Deadpool. Colossus isn’t sure about that, but does so anyway and performs a fastball special with Kitty. Deadpool gains the upper hand on Spider-Man and promises that the world will understand it once this is over. Kitty phases through Deadpool, and Beezer proposes that the younger viewers may want to turn away now. Deadpool’s body starts to give up small sparks, and Kitty phases herself and Spider-Man into safety. On that very moment, Deadpool’s body entirely explodes!

The other X-Men worry about Peter and Kitty’s safety. Beezer isn’t certain what to think. The other Reavers want to avenge their leader and begin to open fire again. However, suddenly they get all taken out by an optic blast from Cyclops! With everyone back together, the X-Men and Spider-Man start to bring down all of the Reavers. The fight makes it closer and closer to the studio, and Beezer desperately tries to proclaim to the authorities that they are under attack by mutants.

Jean makes it into the studio and faces Beezer. She tells the authorities, if they are watching this, that she begs them to come there and take care of this television show that kidnaps children out of their beds and brings them to this island to torture and kill them. Jean introduces herself to Beezer and jokes that she doesn’t have to ask him where he is holding Professor Xavier. She can easily look into his mind and figure it out by herself. She can also tell Beezer’s mind to stop breathing. Luckily for him, she says, she is one of the good guys.

Kitty cuts in, and reports to the kids watching this at home that they are lucky their life sucks. The lives of the X-Men don’t suck, and she wants everyone to sit in the dark and think about that. On that moment, the show closes its feed entirely.

With all the cameras destroyed and the Reavers taken care of, Jean uses her telepathic powers to contact Xavier, hoping he can hear her.

Elsewhere, in his studio, Mojo angrily lashes out at the soldiers for just standing there and not doing anything about the X-Men. He shouts at them to either give him a gun, because he wants Xavier dead. Mojo sees that the guards don’t seem to listen to him, and wonders what’s wrong with them. Suddenly, Xavier’s chains go slack and fall off. Xavier jokes that he would like to have a word in response to Mojo’s accusations against him and his students.

The X-Men and Spider-Man run further down into the studio, trying to reach Xavier. Scott asks Jean if she knows where he is. Jean mentions that the Professor is just down the hall they are running in, but the Professor closed his mind off to her. Jean desperately tries to reach the Professor telepathically, but doesn’t receive an answer back.

On that moment, a loud scream is heard! Kitty panics. Storm asks Jean what happened, but she doesn’t know. The X-Men and Spidey stare in front of them, and the Professor, sitting in his wheelchair, meets up with his students. The X-Men are thrilled to see their mentor again, and Xavier jokes that he is worse for wear. Scott mentions the scream they just heard, but Xavier only replies that he just wants to leave this horrid place.

Kurt mentions he saw a small airfield. Xavier shakes hands with Spidey, thanking him for coming to their rescue. Xavier fears what would have happened to him and the other X-Men if Spidey hadn’t been here to turn the table to their favor. He even calls Peter a fine young man. Spidey jokes that’s great, and sarcastically asks if he can come live with the X-Men when his aunt kicks him out of the house. Xavier smiles that they’ll get Peter home.

As the X-Men leave, they are unaware that, on Krakoa island, Deadpool has survived the explosion and watches the plane leaving. On the plane, Spidey and Kitty hug each other. Peter asks Kitty if she’s alright. Kitty just can’t understand the fear, as it can get to you. Peter knows that. Later that night, after having been home and taking their plane back, the X-Men drop Peter and Kitty off nearby his home in Queens. They walk together to his home, and Kitty asks Peter if he’s really going to do it. Peter replies that it’s four-thirty in the mourning and he has been missing for a day. There’s no way out of it: he has to tell his aunt that he’s Spider-Man!

Kitty wonders what Peter’s aunt is going to do once she discovers the secret, but Peter doesn’t even know that. Kitty doesn’t know for sure, but maybe Jean or the Professor can use their psychic powers to make Peter’s aunt forget about him having been missing. Peter is against that. Kitty knew that already, she was just saying. She wants Peter to be happy. They share a hug together.

As they approach Peter’s house, Kitty says wants to come in as well. He panics and is against it. Kitty jokes that if she comes, Peter will have a buffer and she can’t kill him with a witness nearby. She can also help explain. They go into the house together, but it’s dark, so Kitty thinks that maybe Peter’s aunt went to bed. Peter goes to his aunt’s bedroom, but she isn’t there. Kitty thinks that maybe she went out looking for him. Peter dislikes that thought.

Kitty phases around the house, looking for May. Failing, she meets with Peter in the kitchen and reports that her car isn’t in the garage. He starts to worry seriously.

Suddenly, Kitty notices that Peter’s answering machine hasa new message recorded. He presses the button to hear the message… it’s from Aunt May! She asks Peter to pick up but, when she doesn’t hear him do that, she thinks he already went to bed. She tells Peter that, if he gets up and gets this message, she doesn’t want him to freak out. She’s not coming home tonight, because her date is going so well and she’s going to stay with him tonight. She jokes that Peter is a big boy and they can discuss this later.

May explains that she’s on a date with Doctor Miles Warren and tells Peter to write down the guy’s phone number, which she provides next. Kitty jokes that Peter’s aunt got her groove going. Peter is surprised to hear the name Miles Warren and that his aunt never came home. Kitty smiles that Peter dodged a bullet.

Characters Involved: 

Spider-Man

Angel, Colossus, Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Nightcrawler, Professor X, Rogue, Shadowcat, Storm (all X-Men)

Deadpool

Cruise and various other, unnamed Reavers

Mojo Adams

Augustus Beezer

security guards at Mojo’s show (all unnamed)

Story Notes: 

In this issue, Mojo holds Xavier prisoner in the same way his Earth 616 counterpart did in X-Men (2nd series) #10.

First appearance of the Reaver named Cruise.

In one panel, when the X-Men find Xavier and hear the loud scream, both Jean’s and Storm’s text-balloons are switched with each other: Jean says what Storm was supposed to say and reversed. The heard scream probably comes from Mojo after Xavier uses his telepathic powers on the villain.

First mentioning of Miles Warren to exist in the Ultimate Universe.

When Deadpool (while disguised as Xavier) makes a reference to “Lucy and the football,” he is referring to the famous running gag in Charles Schulz’s comic strip, Peanuts. In the strip, Lucy routinely promises to hold the football for Charlie Brown to kick, however she continuously removes it at the last second, though always promising that this time would be different.

Issue Information: 
Written By: