Ultimate Wolverine vs Hulk #2

Issue Date: 
April 2006
Story Title: 

Damon Lindelof (writer), Leinil Francis Yu (pencils), Dave McCaig (colors), Chris Eliopoulos (letters), Tom Valente (production), Nicole Wiley Boose (assistant editor), John Barber (associate editor), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher)

Brief Description: 

Months ago, Iron Man drops an unconscious Bruce Banner on a platform in the middle of the ocean, and places a megaton bomb nearby him. Tony flies himself into safety, and detonates the bomb, hoping that the Hulk is finally dead. However, before the explosion, Bruce woke up and quickly transformed into the Hulk, and dived into the ocean for protection! Afterward, he swims his way towards Normandy. One month later, he finds himself in Paris, talking to a psychiatrist. She makes him angry, referring to Betty all the time, and Bruce transforms into the Hulk, jumping through the psychiatrist’s office’s window and causing havoc. Again a month later, Bruce is in Ireland. He goes to a bar and tries to contact Betty, but hesitates and hangs up. When people try to make fun of him, Bruce can’t handle it anymore. He transforms into the Hulk again, and kills all the men and eats their cows. He travels to another city, where he finally gathers the courage to talk to Betty. But, when her phone gets answered, it’s… by a man! Bruce freaks out, and again transforms into a furious Hulk, which is witnessed by lots of people. One month later, Bruce travels to a snowy mountain in search of the Panchen Lama. After getting a hot chocolate milk, Bruce gets introduced to a young boy who teaches him more about the Lama and his ways. Ten minutes ago, Wolverine locates the Hulk, who has lots of girls around him. Wolverine is ready for a battle, but the Hulk instead offers him a hot cocoa!

Full Summary: 

The not-so distant past…

Bruce realizes that they are going to kill him, and that they are going to do it with a megaton bomb. He also realizes that he’s responsible for the deaths of 815 innocent civilians of New York City. Sixty-two of those civilians were under the age of eighteen. They were just kids. He knows he killed two kids, and is responsible for it. And he realizes that he deserves to die.

While still unconscious, Bruce is dropped on a platform in the open sea. Iron Man places the bomb nearby him, and sets it go off. While Tony flies himself into safety, the bomb explodes. However, before the explosion, Bruce quickly wakes up and transforms into the Hulk, and dives into the ocean! He didn’t die. The Hulk gets the upper hand and, while swimming, he calls Banner an idiot for trusting Betty, thinking she wanted to blow him up as well. He notices a whale and thinks it looks yummy.

Not much later, at Omaha Beach, Normandy…

An old man asks James if he know how many people died that day. He doesn’t care that, when the old man was his age, he couldn’t wait to fight the Krauts. The old man thinks that’s the problem with kids today: now, they’ve got super-soldiers and the Ultimates fighting their battles for them, and that one man with a gun in his hands can’t make the difference anymore. James notices the Hulk rising up from the water and freaks out by it. The Hulk reverts back to Banner, who says “bonjour” to them.

One month later…

His psychiatrist asks “David” how he feels today. He claims to feel good. She wants to know if he called Betty today. Bruce admits he did, but immediately hung up afterwards. The psychiatrist asks Bruce where he thinks the anger will go to if he doesn’t talk to Betty. He claims not to feel angry, but the psychiatrist doesn’t really believe that. She reminds Bruce that they’ve been working together for a month now, and knows that he’s an intelligent man, and adapts fast. So fast that she can’t even notice his accent anymore. He could pass for a genuine Parisian easily. But she does fear that his intelligence is getting in the way of his growth.

Bruce suspects that his intelligence is responsible for his growth. The psychiatrist claims that one can’t grow when he’s in denial. Bruce claims he’s not in denial, because he knows Betty doesn’t love him anymore. The psychiatrist wants to know why Bruce won’t let himself get angry with Betty. Bruce again claims he isn’t angry with her. The psychiatrist reminds Bruce that he’s talking to one of the best psychiatrists of Europe, and she knows that he’s angry. Bruce again claims he isn’t angry. If that’s true, the psychiatrist wants to know why he always hangs up the phone when he calls Betty. She wonders if he’s afraid to discover why she left him. She wonders if he’s afraid Betty will tell him he’s impotent.

An angry Bruce transforms into the Hulk, shouting that his name isn’t “David,” and that he isn’t impotent or angry. He smashes through the city, and roars!

One month later…

Bruce finds himself in a bar. He tries to call Betty. She answers the call, but Bruce doesn’t say a word. He wonders why he keeps doing this to himself, as he has the hardest time controlling the Hulk.

Later, at County Clare, Ireland…

Pat and his friend walk over to Bruce, who calls himself Bixby now. Pat wants to know what he’s having between his sandwich. Pat’s friend tells him to leave Bixby alone, but he ignores his mate. Bruce explains he’s got lettuce, tomato and tofurkey between his sandwich. Pat laughs, wanting to know what tofurkey is.

Bruce reminds Pat that he has been working on the farm with Pat and the others for two weeks now. And every day, they go through this. He doesn’t think it’s amusing that he’s a vegetarian. Pat didn’t hera his question answered. Pat’s friend explains that tofurkey is actually tofu that tastes like turkey. Pat wants to know if Bruce knows what they say about men who don’t eat meat. Bruce gets angry, and transforms into the Hulk, shouting that “tofurkey” isn’t funny. He kills Pat and his friends, and starts eating the cows around him!

One month later, at an unknown location…

Bruce, having shaved his head bald, is in a phone booth and paid sixteen dollars to call Betty. He reminds himself not to hang up again now, as it already costs him too much. Someone answers the phone, but… it’s a man! Bruce grows angry at the thought of a man answering Betty’s phone, and transforms into the Hulk, with lots of people witnessing it.

One month later, on a snowy mountain…

Bruce helps himself and his donkey up the mountain, and knocks on the door of a monastery. A monk answers it, and says hi to Bruce. Bruce is surprised to hear the monk speak English, and claims he found this place with a map. The monk congratulates Bruce on his fine donkey, as most of them turn around and later die. But his didn’t. Bruce turns around, and watches the donkey die from the cold! The monk smiles that at least the donkey served its purpose. Bruce wants to know what that “purpose” is. The monk reminds Bruce that he’s the one who hiked many kilometers up the mountain to get here. He can’t possibly know the purpose.

Bruce reveals he’s looking for the Panchen Lama. When the monk wants to know why Bruce is looking for the Lama, Bruce replies that he thinks he can cure him. The monk wants to know what disease Bruce has and Bruce shamefully admits that he’s got anger in him. The monk wonders what makes Bruce think the Lama can cure him. Bruce defends that’s because the Lama is the wisest man on Earth. The monk hears Bruce flattering the Lama, and Bruce laughs, thinking that this is a “Yoda thing,” but the monk doesn’t understand that. Bruce thinks the monk is playing dumb, and talks about the Lama like he’s another person than him, but secretly the monk is the Lama himself. The monk reveals he isn’t the Lama, and that his name is Steve. Bruce realizes his mistake. The monk asks Bruce if he would like a hot cocoa.

Not much later, Bruce has gotten his hot cocoa, but has also been left alone in a big room. A boy enters, warning Bruce that he might want to blow on his drink first, knowing that Steve tends to make it too hot. Bruce takes a suspicious look at the boy, who thought that Bruce probably thought he was younger. Bruce doesn’t know what to answer to that. The boy wants to ask Bruce something, like what he thinks he knows about him. Bruce explains that he knows the Panchen Lama is considered to be the greatest scholar in Buddhism. And that the boy is only second to the Lama himself. When the Lama dies, the boy is responsible for finding him again. Or at least, his reincarnated body. The boy asks Bruce if he knows who found him. The one who found his “reincarnated body.”

Bruce is aware that the Lama found the boy. That’s what he does. And that’s the boy’s job. For over a hundred years now, maybe even a thousand years. Bruce knows that the boy and the Lama find each other. The boy agrees with Bruce, wanting to ask him another question. He asks Bruce, if his job is to find the Lama, and his job is to find him, who found who first? Bruce doesn’t know the answer to that. The boy claims that Western people have a much more amusing way of posing this riddle, the question about the chicken and the egg.

They both stand up and the boy asks Bruce what he’s doing here. Bruce is even surprised that the boy knows who he is. The boy reveals that the man who gave Bruce the map to this temple ran his fingerprints through Interpol and called him on his cell. Bruce is speechless. The boy defends that these are dangerous times they live in, and sometimes it is better to be technical than mystical.

The boy leads Bruce into a large room, where he finds lots of Buddhists praying in front of a golden Lama statue. The boy asks if the Buddhists aren’t awesome. Bruce asks the boy if he knows why he is there. The boy admits that and is aware that, when he’s angry, Bruce transforms into the Hulk, a monster with green... and sometimes even gray skin. Bruce smiles, claiming that the Hulk’s skin changes sometimes. The boy supposes that “change” is the point of all this.

Bruce doesn’t even know what the point is. The boy wonders what if Bruce looked at the Hulk in another way. Bruce doesn’t understand what the boy means. He explains that the Hulk is dangerous – a murderer, even. The boy thinks Bruce speaks of the Hulk like he isn’t him. Bruce defends that he and the Hulk are not the same. The boy thinks that this is the other way. He wants Bruce to ask himself what if it isn’t him changing into the Hulk, but the Hulk changes into him? Bruce is startled. The boy tells Bruce to think about the chicken and the egg question.

One month later, ten minutes ago of present day…

The Hulk sits in the same temple, with lots of dancing girls around him. The door opens. It’s Wolverine! He says “hi” to Bruce, and angrily snikts his claws out. The Hulk says “hi” to Logan as well, wondering if he would like to have a hot cocoa. Logan is speechless.

Characters Involved: 


the Hulk

in the not too distant past:

David “Bixby” Bruce Banner/the Hulk

Iron Man (all Ultimates)

Steve and other monks

James and older man

Hulk’s psychiatrist (unnamed)

Story Notes: 

This issue finally reveals what happened to the Hulk after being abandoned by Iron Man and the other Ultimates in Ultimates (2nd series) #3.

A rampaging Hulk murdered lots of New York civilians in Ultimates (1st series) #5.

First appearance of Steve and the other monks, and first mentioning of the Panchen Lama.

Issue Information: 
Written By: