Ultimate X-Men #35

Issue Date: 
September 2003
Story Title: 
Blockbuster - part 2

Brian Michael Bendis (story), David Finch (pencils), Art Thibert (inks), Dave Stewart (colors), Chris Eliopoulos (letters), MacKenzie Cadenhead (assistant editor), Nick Lowe (assistant editor), C.B. Cebulski (associate editor), Ralf Macchio (editor), Joe Quesada (editor in chief), Bill Jemas (president)

Brief Description: 

Spider-Man and Wolverine escape from the Black Ops team that has been chasing Logan and question the barkeeper, who tells them that he was told they were FBI. Logan decides that they are not and believes they are connected to the Weapon X project somehow. They question the Black Widow who has a past with Wolverine and, after an exchange of several insults, she points out how illogical it would be for Fury to send a Black Ops team after Wolverine. Wolverine and Spidey ponder the matter on a rooftop and, just as Spider-Man claims that his spider-sense will warn them of any attack on Logan, a missile appears out of nowhere and hits Wolverine in the chest.

Full Summary: 

The three Diaper Service trucks containing Wolverine’s mysterious attackers have parked across the Parker home. They scan the house and read Logan’s vital scans. The blonde named Tara who fronted the attack on Wolverine a couple of days ago asks whose house this is and the two men brief her: the home belonged to the deceased Ben Parker and now his wife, May, and nephew, Peter, live there alone. Just a woman and a kid. What’s Logan doing in there, Tara demands to know impatiently. One of the men suggests they blow the house and make it look like the water heater exploded. The woman brushes him off, still wondering what he’d be doing in the middle of Queens. Maybe they are relatives, the man suggests. He doesn’t have any relatives, Tara insists. An X-Men front? Must be one hell of a front then. She has the whole Parker megilah in front of her. Couldn’t be more typical boring Queens baloney if you tried to make it up. One of the men points to the screen: Logan isn’t moving. Maybe he’s still unconscious. It’s Tara’s call… She doesn’t like it, she admits. Two days of nothing, and suddenly… Queens.

While she still ponders the matter, Logan watches the trucks from the cellar window and points them out to Peter Parker: those are the people who carved him up. “Oh, my God,” Peter exclaims. Why are diaper delivery men trying to kill him? Was that a joke, Wolverine asks. “Kinda,” Peter admits. “Don’t,” the mutant tells him curtly. It’s how he deals with life, Peter defends himself and he doesn’t know what’s going on– Neither does he, Wolverine admits. He just knows they are military Black Ops, but whose military? And if they followed him here, that means he’s officially being tracked. Hunted. Not a thing he takes kindly to.

Well, Peter interrupts, while changing into his Spider-Man outfit, them attacking here at his house, where he lives, is not a good thing. And it will certainly not help him in his ongoing efforts to keep his identity as Spider-Man a secret. Will Peter help him out of here, Wolverine asks. He wants Wolverine out of here, Peter replies. Does he need to put on his little costume to do it, Wolverine mocks. Hey, does he make fun of Logan’s hair? Peter retorts. Wolverine gives him a serious look and warns the boy that he is going to do something that might upset him. But Peter has to go with it, just get Wolverine the hell out of there as fast as he can, okay? He’s not exactly easy to upset, Peter snaps, donning his mask. Wolverine unsheathes his claws and rams them into his own throat. Predictably, Peter is rather upset, screaming “Aaghh! Oh my God!!” as he catches the falling man.

One man in the truck is flabbergasted; Wolverine’s vitals just disappeared. Tara angrily screams “no.” But then the vitals appear again onscreen, but right on top of the truck. Suddenly, the truck topples and is thrown on its side. Tara is the first one to get her bearings back. She draws her gun, kicks open the door and looks for the attacker. Nobody; until she looks up and sees Spider-Man carrying Wolverine and swinging the hell out of there. One of the men asks what happened. Tara orders him to be quiet. They notice a group of scared kids staring at them from the other side of the road. Angrily, Tara tells one of the men to call Fred with the truck. She’s calling it a Delta Nine. What are they going to do, he asks. Regroup! she snaps.

Elsewhere, in front of the diner that was ruined in the shootout two days ago. Its owner sits on the front door sniffing. Logan approaches him, asking angrily if he’d forgotten to leave a tip? Anxiously, the man gets up, spilling his coffee. So, Logan, demands, closing in, where did he go when the parade started? He couldn’t help notice how conveniently he ran just before it all blew up. How did he know, he asks while holding his claws to the other man’s throat. Spider-Man chimes in, suggesting he’d better answer Wolverine’s questions. He’s not as nice as he looks. Wolverine glares at him. Sorry, Spidey apologizes.

Wolverine holds one of his claws up to the barkeeper’s nostrils. Finally, the man finds the strength to speak. He doesn’t have anything against him, he assures Wolverine. He was just cooperating. What else was he supposed to do? Did he think he was going to let them blow up his diner? This was his life. He just knows that this girl came in who insisted she buy Wolverine lunch and handed him a dollar bill with a note attached to it which read: “This man is a mutant terrorist. We are an FBI task force. Please leave ASAP.” So he complied. And afterwards he called the FBI to see if they were going to pay for what they did to his life and nobody knows what he’s talking about. So now Wolverine is fine and his life is over!!
Wolverine unsheathes his claws and tells him to run away.

He seems lost in thought when Spidey asks that he is not actually a mutant terrorist, right? Not that he’s insinuating that Wolverine has the kind of personality that could be mistaken for that of a mutant terrorist, but if he were a mutant terrorist on the run from the FBI, would he even tell Spidey? Wolverine curtly tells him that he can go home now. Oh yeah, Spidey replies sarcastically, he can go back to his house where they left the FBI Diaper Force. And who brought the FBI there again? He forgot. They aren’t FBI, Logan states. It’s a military Op. And they were off Parker’s street in thirty seconds. Like they never were there. And they are tracking Wolverine, Peter asks. How? Logan thinks. They have his Weapon X file, he decides.

Does he know what he’s talking about, the clueless teenager asks. Yeah, Wolverine replies, as he gets moving. Good for him, Peter states, but if he finds out that he’s suckered Peter into a new reality show, he swears to God… He’s not going home is he, Wolverine asks. He doesn’t really want him to, Peter retorts. Where to now? Cash in a favor, Wolvie replies. The X-Men? Isn’t he one of them? Wolverine looks away ashamed and just states not the X-Men. Why not? If he’s coming, he should come, Wolverine replies as he jumps to the next rooftop.

A roomy Soho loft, where Natasha Romanov sits meditating Natasha, Wolverine’s voice comes as he lets himself in over the balcony; he needs her help. He apologizes for the intrusion. Pretty funny she tells him, he being apologetic. He again asks her for help, as she looks at him sullenly and assures her it’s him. That’s what she thought until he just said it, she smirks. He only said it because he knows how ex-intelligence Black Ops SHIELD agents think. How long were they a couple, Natasha asks, testing him. He’d say five days, she probably say seven. How did they meet, she asks. He just smiles. Why did they split? They found out about the “real us.” No, Natasha sharply replies. She found out that he was using her to get information on— Like he said Logan interjects— the real them. And look at them now, Natasha states with a shrug. Look at you now, Logan tells her. The Black Widow. Nick Fury’s secret weapon. Look at you now, Natasha repeats. Famous and infamous.

She takes up the issue of Newsweek with the X-Men article. The world-famous X-Men, making the world a better place for human and mutantkind alike. If the X-Men were a boyband, Logan would be the dark brooding one. Apparently, Xavier never heard of a history check. And neither did Nick Fury, Logan retorts. How else would a spy without a country find herself a part of his superhero PR machine called…? The Ultimates, she replies. The Ultimate what? he asks. Ultimate Ultimates, she replies, getting annoyed, and continues that it is a very fine idea and- He cuts her off: it’s just PR and politics and beneath her, but that’s not why he came here. Right, she agrees, he came her asking for her help by insulting her.

He continues telling her about the situation. How his followers are Black Ops and used ammo that left no shrapnel and claimed to be Feds. Well, she knows nothing about it, she tells him with a raised eyebrow. Does her boss? Natasha plays dumb first, but then admits she doesn’t know and if he did he wouldn’t tell her. But she is the Ultimate Black Widow now, he mocks. If there’s a secret op to get Wolverine, it wouldn’t be a secret if Fury asked the Black Widow to tell Wolverine, now would it, she snaps.

They glare at each other coldly. Spidey, getting nervous, chimes in asking if they are done being cryptic because he’s freezing. Then go home, Logan tells him. Does he have an intern now, Natasha demands. Getting a good look at her, Spidey protests. He recognizes her and she owes him eighty dollars. Ignoring him, Natasha tells Logan about her conclusion. He knew she had nothing to do with this. He came here to see if the Black Op would attack him at her home. If they did it meant they had nothing to do with the Ultimates or Fury. She orders him to get out.

Spidey tells Logan that he saved the Widow once and then she poisoned him and stole his webshooters. Those cost money. Wolverine ignores him as well. The Widow tells Logan if Fury wanted him dead, Captain America would have broken his jaw and Thor would have cracked the rest of him in half. She tells him to take his sidekick and get out or she will call Fury.

Outside on the roof, Spidey tells Wolverine that he doesn’t like her. Bus she must be the hottest girl he’s ever seen and he has cable. Wolverine agrees on both counts. Spidey asks if he is using his “mutantness” to see of they have been here. Yup, and they haven’t. So, Spidey tells him, he has a Spider-Sense. A what? A warning sense that buzzes and warns him of danger. What good does that do him, Wolverine snaps. It’s why he’s sticking around, Spidey explains. He can warn Logan before anything bad is about to happen to him. Wolverine’s head suddenly jerks around. He senses something. Suddenly, a missile moves towards him at incredible speed and hits Logan right in the chest. He falls. Spidey exclaims, “My God,” as he sees the explosion several buildings away to where the missile’s impact carried Wolverine.

Characters Involved: 


Black Widow
Tara and other agents

Story Notes: 

Peter’s “ongoing efforts” to keep his identity a secret are a bit of a joke anyway, as an alarming number of people managed to figure it out.

It is rather odd that the Black Widow would have a copy of the Newsweek issue with the X-Men article, as said article was pulled. (see Ultimate X-Men #15).

Considering how closely Fury and Wolverine worked together in the past (see “Return to Weapon X”) and that Fury owes Wolverine his life, it seems odd that Wolverine believes Fury would send a secret team to kill him.

Spider-Man met the Black Widow in Ultimate Marvel Team-Up #14.

Issue Information: 

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