Standing over a beaten foe, Wolverine, in his yellow and blue costume, thinks to himself that at some point in his life it became clear to him that he couldn’t so much as sit down for a cold one without gettin’ into some kind o’ trouble. Maybe that’s just the way his story goes.
He was born a mutant with senses and abilities that set him apart from most men and he’s got a skeleton and claws laced with adamantium, the strongest metal there is. He’s a scrapper by nature, a hero, one o’ the X-Men, by trade. Some might say he should be used to this stuff by now.
Looking upon his seven amassed foes, Wolverine recognizes one of them as Deadpool. He proceeds to tell him that he’s guessin’ he’s the one in charge and asks if this is a payin’ gig or if is personal. Deadpool replies that he knows how it is. He’s checking out markedmen.com and there’s his adorable mug along side a number so big he thought Ed McMahon was springin’ for the hit. Believe him, if he knew the kind of dough he’s looking at there, he’d off himself just to die that rich a man.
Wolverine snarls that it sounds like something he should look into. He then states that this fight hasn’t even started yet and he’s already bored. Do them a favor and don’t start this. Deadpool tells him that he knew he was going to be like that, that’s why he brought along his boys. Pigskin – an overweight pale skinned man with a bald head and fangs. Vance Rebus and Reckless Eric – normal looking men wearing armor and half shields covering the top half of their faces, Reckless Eric is the one defeated at Wolverine’s feet. Also present are Deadeye Dick – a cyborg looking individual with a bionic eye, Mega Max – a large pale skinned creature sporting fangs and armor, and Mini Max – a smaller, but just as dangerous version of Mega Max. There is also another creature that is small like Mini Max but is not introduced.
Deadpool says that they call themselves the Scourge. They’re kind of a group like N’Sync, only way uglier. Logan tells him whatever and again informs Wade that he’s giving him an out there, he should take it. These other clowns he could care less about but they, he and him, don’t have to go down this road. Readying himself for battle, Wade agrees that they don’t, but the thing is, he needs the money.
Sheathing his claws, Logan tells Wade that he better remember who he’s dealin’ with, ‘cause there’s lots o’ easier ways o’ makin’ a killin’. Wade replies maybe but as long as he’s driving off into the sunset with a thick wad of dough he doesn’t have a problem taking the scenic route. Punching Wade across the face, Logan tells him don’t say he never offered to point out a shortcut. Delivering another crack across Wade’s jaw, Logan says to him to tell him what really is goin’ on there. The last time they tangled, things ended on reasonably good terms.
Firing back with a kick to Logan’s jaw, Wade responds that things change. Punching Logan in the face, Wade adds that they’ve knocked noggins enough for him to know that trying to figure him out is like trying to predict the migrating habits of Africanized bees. You can do it, but somebody always gets stung. Tackling Wade, Logan pops the claws on his left hand and says this time it’s him. Wade remarks that he hates it when he winds up with an analogy on his face. Popping the claws on his right hand, Logan gives Wade one more chance to wise up and three more reasons to do it (his claws). Responding with a kick to Logan’s jaw, Wade states that his pathetic track record with poker and black jack notwithstanding, never let it be said he’s not a gambling man at heart.
Following up with a punch to Logan’s jaw, he adds that he, Logan, on the other hand has done an exemplary job of distinguishing himself as a – drum roll please – super hero. Sure, sure, he’s got a wild and wooly side but deep down, beneath all that wiry hair, he’s a stand-up guy. He ain’t gonna waste widdle ol’ Wade. As Logan tackles Wade, he tells him that he’s confusin’ his own stupidity with confidence. Wade tells him that’s a good one and then, simultaneously, they each deliver blows that temporarily separate them from each other.
Pulling his gun out of its holster, Wade tells Logan that as much as he’s enjoyed this all-too-brief round of verbal gymnastics, he thinks it’s time he got on with doing what he came there to do. He’ll make it fast, scout’s honor. As Logan lunges towards him, Wade fills him full of… tranquilizer darts? Logan weakly tells him that his healin’ factor… Wade cuts him off and says that it is in now capable of holding off enough sedative to drop a T-Rex, so just shut up and fall down. If anyone wanted to hear a dissertation on his mutant healing powers, he’d be raking it in on the college lecture circuit. Besides, he’s heard enough about ‘em as it is.
While the Scourge begins to surround Logan, Wade points out that the man settling the tab for this job has been studying him, Wolverine, for a long time. He knew exactly what it would take to bring him to the ground. Lying on the ground, Logan thinks to himself that his body is lead and that his chest is on fire. He tries to focus, to concentrate, but it’s too late for that now. Maybe it was too late long ago.
Before his run-in with Deadpool and the Scourge, Logan was wearing civilian clothes while downing a few drinks at a bar. The bartender, a large bald-headed gentleman wearing a white t-shirt with no sleeves asks Logan if everything is all right with him. He’s been sittin’ there all night and barely said a word. Not that he’s complainin’ or nothin’, just curious is all. He then introduces himself as Leon. Logan tells him thanks but he’s fine. Logan then mentions that a place like that is usually pretty rowdy, he’s just enjoyin’ the silence. Leon replies ‘I hear that’ and then tells him not to get used to it though. All heck’s liable to break loose later on. With a stoic look on his face, Logan responds that he’ll keep that in mind.
Inside a van parked outside the bar, Deadpool and the members of the Scourge are standing around. Just then, Wade’s computer tech, Weasel, tells him that he thinks they just found his friend and pulls Logan’s image up on all of the computer monitors before them. Wade replies that’s him, he told them they’d find him in some kind of dive bar. It’s like, hello! Ever heard of a micro-brewery? Wade then points out that the place looks empty, is it? Weasel tells him that it sure does seem that way. Aside from his friend, there’s just the bartender and the skeevy-looking waitress. Is he ready to move? Wade says not yet. The guy’s in the middle of a drink, least they can do is let him finish it. He then asks Weasel to stop calling Logan his “friend.” Considering what this job means to him, he’d just as soon carry on like he never met the runt.
In the bar, Leon asks Logan if anyone ever told him he looked like Neil Young. At first Logan tells him no but then recalls that a guy did say that once. Looking back, he probably had no idea why he put his head through that window. Laughing, Leon proceeds to tell Logan that he’s a funny guy. Staring at him, Logan replies that he wasn’t kidding.
At that moment, the scantily-clad waitress comes over to him and tells him not to pay any mind to Levon; he’s dumb as a bag of snot. She’s been watchin’ him though, looks like he could use some company and a change o’ scenery. What say she runs and gets her things? Logan tells her the offer’s temptin’ but it’ll have to wait. He’s got a lot on his mind right now and… The waitress cuts him off and tells him come on, let her take his mind off whatever it is that’s troublin’ him. Girl like her could prob’ly teach him a trick or two. Logan looks at her and tells her that unless she can show him how to make his pennies walk like dollars, he knows all the tricks.
Again, he tells her, thanks but no. Laughing, Leon tells the waitress, Janine, that it don’t sound like this fella’s buyin’ it. Janine tells him to be quiet. The man’s got a sense o’ humor, that don’t mean he’s take a dislike to her. She then says to Logan right, honey? Logan calmly tells her that he never said he didn’t like her. Again, Janine tells Logan that he can’t pay any mind to Levon, he’s not what you’d call bright. So, what say she runs and gets her things?
Inside the van, Weasel says to Wade that he can almost see letting the poor slob finish his last beer but please tell him they’re not watching what’s about to go down right now. Wade tells him to relax; dude’s got more class than that. At least, he thinks he does…
Once Janine steps out, Logan proceeds to ask Leon if he looks stupid. Leon replies no, it’s just that Janine is used to gettin’ her way with men. You know, on accounts of her looks an’… Just then, Logan grabs the bartender by the arm and tells him that he’s not talkin’ about the girl “Leon.” Why doesn’t he tell him what’s going on? From inside the van, Deadpool wonders what Logan is talking about and what he is doing. At that moment, Logan slams Leon’s head to the bar and pins it with his knee.
Popping his claws on his right hand, he tells Leon that his girlfriend called, he’s not too smart. Least he could’ve done was get his own flamin’ name right. See, he’s a sucker for details like that. And since he asked earlier, he’s been sittin’ there all night tryin’ to figure out why a bar he’s been visitin’ off and on for the last twenty years is suddenly as dead as last night’s dinner; and on the weekend no less. So, he’ll ask him again – does he look stupid?
From behind them, a voice asks Levon what he did. Turning around, Logan sees Janine, dressed even more scantily than before, smoking a cigarette, and toting two large guns. She tells Logan that he’s really gotta excuse ol’ Levon. Man’s about as sharp as a dull pencil eraser. He’s got his good points though, which is why she’ll be asking him, Logan, to back away from him now. Oh, she has her things too, hope he’s ready to get gone. With that, Janine opens up fire upon Logan. Dodging her blasts, Logan tells her that she’s better hope she can get to the door before he gets to her…
Inside the van, Deadpool states that unless he’s totally misreading the situation, that’s a cocktail waitress with two huge lumps of death-spewing metal. You ask him, that means they’ve got hired help moonlighting as bounty hunters and that means… Turning to Rebus (Reckless Eric), he informs him that it’s time to waste the joint. Just then, the building explodes which tosses Logan into a clearing in the woods nearby. Approaching him, Reckless Eric tells Logan to stay where he is. Logan tells the man standing before him nice costume and asks if he is with them. Reckless Eric replies that the Scourge has no time for morons or mutants. They’re taking him in, the Scourge has him. Putting his mask on, Logan asks that he’s the best they can do huh? Sighing, he pops his claws and says all right, we might as well get this over with.
Logan wakes up and comes out swingin’. He has no idea where he is, no concept of how long he’s been out. There’s no sign of Deadpool but his goon squad is out in force. Whatever they shot him up with, it hasn’t cleared out o’ his system yet. His vision’s blurred and it feels like his brain’s been wrapped in gauze. He gets moments of clarity but, for the most part, his head is useless. He uses the parts that work, his feet and his fists.
The first thing he notices about the Scourge is they all stink o’ fear. It’s a funny thing, something he can’t put his finger on in his current frame o’ mind. These guys are tough, professionals, they should be puttin’ up more of a fight. But they fold easier than lawn chairs, all of ‘em – Pigskin, Vance Rebus, Deadeye Dick, Mega Max, and even Mini Max. Their lack o’ confidence is almost palpable. He feeds on it like a man starved and then he catches a whiff o’ what’s got ‘em all on edge – the burnin’ stench o’ pure, unadulterated evil.
Turning around, Logan sees a towering figure with a mechanical eye and wearing armor. The man states fascinating, even in his current drug-addled state, he, Logan, could sense his presence. He asks him if he ever stops to marvel at the scope of the gifts he’s been given. Thousands upon thousands of people go through life without sight, unable to hear, unable to feel but he experiences life on a level unimagined even by the healthiest of human species. He’s the best at what he does and he takes that for granted, doesn’t he? He’s so accustomed to who he is and what he’s become that he can’t even see the beauty in the gifts nature has bestowed upon him. Growling, Logan replies that he doesn’t have any patience for speeches so he can save his rap for…
The towering figure tells him that he’s well aware of his capacity for the most brutal forms of defiance – they’ll have none of that here. With that, he smacks Logan across the face. As Logan crumples to the ground, the figure tells him that a man with senses as keen as his should appreciate the promise that he can make him feel pain unlike any he’s ever experienced, if he chooses to resist him further. As Reckless Eric and Vance Rebus take Logan into custody, the towering figure tells him that they are the future, the solution to problems and ills older than even him and his kind. They are the Watchtower.
Inside the ominous building known as the Watchtower, Reckless Eric asks Deadpool how she, Siryn, looks. Wade replies that she’s in a chemical bath with a hose in her mouth, you idiot. What kind of question is that? He asks him what he cares for anyway. It’s not like he’s got any stake in what happens to her now. His obligation to this whole deal ended the minute they showed up at the front gate with Wolvie passed out in the back seat. His was just beginning. Wade tells Theresa that he knows she can’t hear him, but everything’s gonna be all right. This seems bad, he knows, and it isn’t the way she’d have wanted him to do things but they’re gonna make her whole again. They promised him.
In another room, Logan is bound and hanging upside down. The towering figure from before stands there with one of his guards and watches him intently. When he notices that Logan is beginning to stir, he remarks that he wakes again, wonderful. His healing factor is really quite extraordinary. Had they drawn as much blood from a lesser man, they would have lost him long ago. The speed of his regenerative abilities is mind-boggling. Logan proceeds to ask him why he is doing this. The man replies that surely he’s guessed by now; this is all about his healing powers. Nature has always intended for him to fulfill a specific role, him and all mutants. The Watchtower if fighting to heal a sick world and he just became their greatest weapon.
Watching from above, a shadowy figure points to Logan and says there he is. Another member of his crew remarks that the Administrator is there too however. The figure says there is nothing they can do about that. They knew they’d have to confront him eventually. He then tells Cargo to get ready to take them in and for Hardwire to hit it.
Inside his cell, Logan thinks to himself that somewhere amid the barrage o’ tranquilizers and the continued bloodlettin’, it occurs to him that he’s lost the plot. It happens, gettin’ hung up on stuff like this comes with the territory. All it takes is a single event and suddenly everything changes. At that moment, Logan sees three figures materialize before him. One of them seems to be a being comprised of energy and he is carrying two others of his crew, a young man and a young lady. The man inside him tells him ‘good work Cargo.’ Now just pray the old codger’s as resilient as his reputation would have them believe. Cargo then informs him that he is sensing guards approaching. The young man tells his crew to spread out and handle it. He then asks where Hardwire is, they’re waiting on him.
Just then, a large robotic figure appears and states that they encountered interference and has dealt with it. On the ground, the young man proceeds to take out the guards and tells him no worries. If he grabs whiskers, he’s golden. They’ll take the interference as it comes. With Logan free, the young man approaches him and asks him if he’s ready to travel and adds that it’s an honor to meet him. When Logan asks him who they are, the young man informs him that they are friends or enemies. It all depends on where he stands.
As the young man, young lady, Hardwire, Cargo and Wolverine face off against the Administrator, the young man asks him ‘doesn’t it father?’ Popping his claws, Logan hears his body screamin’ for him to crawl up in a ball and sit this one out. His head’s beggin’ him just to lie down and get better. No chance, this is where the story gets good.