X-Statix #10

Issue Date: 
May 2003
Story Title: 
The Diaries of Edie Sawyer, Portrait of the Mutant as a Young Woman

Peter Milligan (writer), Phillip Bond (artist), Laura Allred (colorist), Blambot’s Nate Piekos (letterer), Warren Simons and John Miesegaes (assistant editors), Axel Alonso (editor), Joe Quesada (editor in chief), Bill Jemas (president)

Brief Description: 

Finally convincing Guy to clean out Edie’s old room, Venus comes across four volumes of Edie’s diary. Reading through the first one in secret, Venus learns how Edie came to Hollywood at the age of nineteen. After falling in with a boyfriend who was an aspiring writer, Edie gained control of her emerging teleportation power and decided on a different life. After a brief, secret career as a “super villain,” Edie learned of the media savvy super hero group X-Force and decided to become a member. After an initial, awkward introduction to the group, Edie was accepted as the team’s newest member, U-Go Girl. Life was leading just where she wants it. Having finished the first volume of Edie’s diary, Venus vows to destroy the books and say goodbye to Edie forever. However, even as Guy finds that he is comfortable with having said goodbye to Edie, Venus is not, as she has kept the four volumes of Edie’s diaries hidden, inside her room’s closet.

Full Summary: 

Venus holds up two red clogs like they are too disgusting for her to touch. Her facial expression matches this sentiment. Regarding the pair of footwear, Venus considers them; they are a dead woman’s shoes. They also fit feet smaller than hers, which are probably prettier than hers as well. Lowering them to her side, Venus now considers the rest of the room. Not too far away, Guy Smith sits on a bed pondering a dress like it means the world to him. Seeing this, Venus reflects that she is helping Guy to clear out Edie Sawyer’s old room. Maybe, she thinks, she’s hoping that getting rid of her old stuff will help him put the ghost of U-Go Girl to rest. Witnessing Guy bring the dress to his forehead in apparent anguish, Venus realizes that, maybe, she’s kidding herself.

Turning to Venus, Guy tells her that the dress is the one Edie wore the night before she died. He can still smell her on it. Ignoring Venus’ orders for him to stop, Guy adds that it also has the perfume she was wearing, the last glass of bourbon, the flavor of… Having had enough, Venus yells for Guy to stop it. Venus takes the dress and turns her back to Guy. She informs Guy that she said she’d clear out Edie’s things. She didn’t say she’d be an audience to him wallowing in self-pity.

Sensing Venus’ discomfort, Guy suggests that they do this another day. When? Venus retorts. Next month? Next year? Next decade? It’s been months now and all this… this shrine to Edie Sawyer thing… it’s downright creepy. Settling down her tone, Venus tells Guy that she’ll finish up there. Anything she thinks he wants, she’ll give to him… the rest to her family.

Turning to leave, Guy thanks Venus and apologizes for being so… sensitive. Sporting a wry grin, Venus replies that it’s what she loves about him, ain’t it? Realizing what she has just said, Venus stammers a correction; it’s what she likes about him. Holding Venus’ hand, Guy tells her to relax. He knows what she means. They’ve got all the time in the world for that. Unlike Edie…

A few moments later, as she goes through Edie’s wardrobe, Venus thinks that Guy is lucky that he left before she punched him. She never even met Edie Sawyer, aka U-Go Girl, but she thinks she hates her. That’s awful, she knows, but it like…

Venus internal diatribe is halted at the sight of four hardcover books, with the word diary written on each spine and cover of each one. Picking up the small stack, which is bound by a single, pink ribbon, tied into a bow, Venus thinks that Guy never mentioned anything about diaries. But why would he? Why would be even know Edie kept one? Taking the diary marked #1, Venus sits in a chair, staring at it. She shouldn’t read one, she thinks to herself. No way should she read something as personal as a diary. After pausing a moment in consideration, Venus opens it up, thinking that she will read just the first few pages. “Nineteen today,” Venus reads aloud. “And I’m back…”


…back to where my weird teleportation thing zapped me the moment I looked into the face of my baby, Edie wrote. Having arrived in into Hollywood, California, Edie Sawyer had only two pieces of luggage to start her new life. Thinking still about what happened when she looked at her baby’s face, Edie guessed that it was trying to tell her something. The weird teleportation thing, that is, not the baby. Oh, yeah, she wrote, her name is Edie Constance Sawyer and she’s going to be an actress. Though, she thought, they all call themselves actors nowadays.

(November 23)

Edie was working as a waitress in a small restaurant. She had decided that life sucked. What sucked about it was how it turns you into a cliché. If anyone’s gonna turn Edie Sawyer into a cliché, she wrote, she wanted it to be her, not life. But waiting tables was the only job she could get. And does anyone have any idea how expensive acting night school is?

(November 28)

Having stormed off stage after an audition, Edie quit acting night school. Sitting alone in her small apartment, Edie scribed the fact that she never drank this much until she came to L.A. But, a few shot help her sleep. Still, she admitted, she didn’t think her lousy hotel was really designed for sleeping.

(December 19)

It is the Christmas season and Edie wears a Santa cap as she waits her tables. She writes that she hadn’t done that weird teleporting thing since she saw her little baby and kapaow! But sometimes, she daydreams that she can fly away like that again to anywhere she wants. You need something, she wrote, to think about as you deal with the ass-grabbers, check-dodgers and professional complainers.

Delivering one of her regular customer’s breakfast, Edie announced the arrival of his bacon and eggs easy. Small in frame and wearing glasses, Edie’s regular noted to Edie that she didn’t have a badge and then promptly asked what her name was. To him, she asked… bacon and eggs easy.

(December 25)

It was Christmas Day. Edie wrote that one of the girls who lived on her floor gave her a present; more liquor. It would be the only present she’ll get that year. Having walked past a public phone, Edie had almost called home that day. She had come that close. But what would have been the point? Could she go back? Would she want to? It had been more than three years…

Edie’s thoughts had been interrupted by a man calling out to her, addressing her as “Bacon and eggs easy.” When she looked at the man, the one who had asked her name in the diner, he pointed out that she worked at the diner. That’s just temporary, she told him. Not giving up, the man told her that the name of hers really suited her. Responding sarcastically, she told him that he was a very funny human being and that he should get lost.

Undeterred, he introduced himself as Cal, a writer. Well, he corrected, he was trying to be a writer but hadn’t sold anything yet. He was also lonely and homesick, he told Edie, and he hadn’t stopped thinking about her the other day. Lines like that, she responded, there was no wonder he hadn’t sold anything. Smiling wryly, Cal said that he had a bunch of great ideas. And the best idea, he told her, was that she come and live him. He still had some savings left and she wouldn’t have to work at the diner. And, he’d be inspired by her. Squinting her eyes, Edie asked what the catch was. Well, Cal replied with a smirk, he’d expect some lovin’ of course but he’d do all the cooking. Finally smiling genuinely, Edie told Cal that she had a dark secret… her name really wasn’t “Bacon and eggs easy.”

(January 30)

Cal won’t show Edie his writing. He says it’s too personal. She hoped that it’s better than his cooking. Oh, yeah, she loved the guy.

(February 16)

Edie went out to dinner with a big-shot TV exec Cal met. The idea was for her to get a part in this pilot that Cal had written. After receiving a shocking proposal from the exec, Edie sarcastically wrote that she had a real good feeling about it. After the dinner, Cal plead with her. It would only be once and it could be their big break. Did she know how tough it was in this town? It didn’t mean he didn’t love her. He would ask her if he didn’t know she could handle it. What was one night? Cal’s voice had trailed off as Edie considered her predicament.

(February 19)

Edie had resigned to the deal and had gotten ready for her “date.” The pilot was for a show called “Simply Sisters.” So, how much did she want it, she had thought. What was she willing to pay? She guessed that they all had to face that one sooner or later. And what was the big deal? She had a kid by a handsome stranger passing through town. The TV exec had clean fingernails. That was a good sign. And what was so great about her, Edie asked herself, that she shouldn’t stoop to doing what legions of talented, beautiful, ambitious women had done before her?

After getting ready, Edie had hailed a taxi and appeared on schedule at the exec’s home. He opened the door with a drink and told her she looked gorgeous before inviting her in. As she took off her coat, she asked herself again how much she had wanted it?


Venus stops at this point. She doesn’t want to read the next entry. She wants to say, “don’t do it, Edie.” But this thing, Venus tells herself, happened years ago. It’s past. But there’s no such thing as the past, only that which has been forgotten. The voice of Guy Smith, asking if she found anything interesting, causes Venus to look up. Hiding the book, she tells him not yet. But her molecules are aching and she thinks she might finish off there in the morning. Changing the subject, Guy tells Venus that Ben Affleck asked them along for a party. He was going to blow him off… but maybe it’d be good for them to get out, mix with the normal people.

Later, at the party, Venus smiles as she mixes and talks B.S. Occasionally, she catches Guy’s eye… To Venus, it’s like Edie is suspended somewhere in the past. How much did she want it? How much love does Guy still love her? By two A.M. she can’t stand it any longer. Venus fakes a migraine and teleports back home.

(flashback, February 19)

Just as the exec was taking off her jacket, Edie had gotten her “weird thing” back. The exec had cried out in fear as he found himself and Edie miles above the city, even above a passenger jet, which shot through the air below them. As she continued to teleport them lower and lower, closer to the ground, Edie realized that, with the return of her thing, something was lost in return: a simple girl from the country who noticed a man’s fingernails and thought all you needed was success and talent. She had learned something about herself. She would have done it with the exec. She was glad she didn’t. She was glad her subconscious or whatever it was triggered her weird thing at the last minute. But she would have done it.

Later, at her and Cal’s home, Edie had surprised Cal, who was sitting half-naked in from of the computer. She thought that maybe she could say she had grown up. She wasn’t sure what she wanted but she was pretty sure how to go about getting it. She also learned an important lesson: never trust a writer! Edie teleported her ex-boyfriend, still only in his underwear, into the desert. She pointed toward Los Angeles and told him it was ten miles that way. And then she left him.

(March 3)

This much Eddie knew: to make it in the city, a girl had to have something special. Her, she had this weird teleportation thing and she was getting better at it with practice. Even able to sneak into the Oval Office of the White House, Edie could sit in the president’s chair and place her feet on the desk while she drank a bottle of beer. But what was she going to do with it?

(March 8)

While standing outside a bank, Edie had made a decision: she had decided to become a super-villain.

(March 9)

Now that her apartment was filled with bars of gold bullion and bank safety deposit boxes, Edie realized it was actually easier than one might imagine. She wouldn’t chose to be a super-villain if it wasn’t really the only way to make full use of her talents. She didn’t like stealing, even from filthy rich banks who wouldn’t think twice about stealing from common folk. It was just that super-villains were so much cooler than super heroes. If she were shown a cool super hero, then maybe she would consider a career change.

Shortly after this, sitting on her bed, wearing immensely expensive diamond earrings and admiring her loot, Edie had seen what she was looking for on the Channel 6 news. It was Zeitgeist of X-Force.

(March 19)

Edie stood outside of X-Force headquarters as the team returned home in their limousines. The crowd on both sides of the entranceway was held back by metal gates. Standing in with the rest of the crowd, Edie watched with them and thought that he was gorgeous. His name was Axel Cluney and his working name was Zeitgeist. He was the leader of a team of super heroes called X-Force.

Apparently, Edie had wrote, they were in this messy legal battle with another older outfit of the same name. This X-Force was her kinda super hero team. She couldn’t have told anyone who they fought or who they’d saved. Except, that it was bound to be dangerous and bloody. First and foremost, they were stars. More famous and cooler than any actor, these actors actually get to die on their film sets.

During this crowd-fest, Edie had her hand held briefly by Zeitgeist. She had touched him. She had touched the future… and the future was X-Force. Though, personally, Edie wrote, she thought they should change their name, which was somewhat lame. Like her, they were mutants. For the first time in her life, she felt as though she belonged. Though, of course, she didn’t belong. Yet.

An X-Force security man had come up to her just after X-Force entered the headquarters. Addressing her, the security man told her than Mr. Cluney would like to see her. Taken aback, Edie had looked to the entrance of the HQ and saw Zeitgeist standing there, waiting for her. Of course, she had thought. He had whatever woman he chose. He had groupies. They all did.

And right then, Edie wrote, she wanted to be a part of that team more than ever. She wanted groupies. She wanted big security men to go over and say to cute young men, “Miss Sawyer would like to see you.” This had been her chance. She could have gone in there, pretending to be a groupie, then dazzled Zeitgeist with her weird teleportation thing. So, she asked herself again… how much did she want it? When the security man told her that Zeitgeist didn’t like to wait, Edie told him, much to his surprise, to thank Mr. Cluney for his offer but she would see him another time.

(March 28)

Edie had decided she should have a clear conscious if she was going to join X-Force, so she tried giving back all the stuff she had stolen to its rightful owners. However, she had gotten bored with that so, instead, she had invited some girls from her old hotel over to take their pick. As they had all reveled in their good fortune, Edie had reckoned that there was going to be some sad and lonely customers that night!

Edie also practiced, mainly in the desert, teleporting onto targets to improve accuracy. She practiced hard. She wanted to be the finished article when she presented herself to X-Force. However, she found that she was getting sleepy after ‘porting. She knew a chemist-friend who said he would give her a pick-me-up but she didn’t want to get into all that. A few cups of coffee would get her started again. She did finally decide on a super hero name: Tele-Girl!

(April 10)

The big day didn’t go quite as planned. She had been nervous about making her grand entrance so she had a few drinks. Then, a few more. So, by the time X-Force arrived at the premiere she was very… relaxed… Maybe, a little too relaxed.

Already in her self-made costume, a black mini-skirt and a tight, yellow top, which had exposed her midriff and had a hole in the front to expose cleavage, Edie teleported from her apartment, along with some of her furniture and belongings, to the entrance of Mann’s Chinese Theatre and into the middle of the arriving X-Force. Off balance, Edie had collapsed with her leg’s wide, giving the crowd a good look up her skirt. Obviously, she later wrote, flashing the nation’s media had not been part of the game plan. One man in the crowd, camera in hand, had yelled to her, “You go, girl!”

As Zeitgeist helped her up, he asked her who the hell she was and what the hell was going on. Still shaken, Edie had stammered a response. When Zeitgeist again demanded who she was, Edie looked into the crowd and saw an enthusiastic thumbs up from the guy who had yelled out to her. Now, with confidence, Edie placed her hands on her hips and declared that she was U-Go Girl, with a “U.” And she was going to be the biggest star X-Force had ever seen. Her proclamation made, Edie suddenly felt ill, excused herself and promptly threw-up.

Later, on her twentieth birthday, Edie had continued the diary she had started one year previously. Axel, she wrote, was still trying his damnedest to seduce her. Of course, she wanted to sleep with him but it’s important that there were some women he couldn’t have… for now. But was this the what she really wanted? Was this the life she really wanted to be leading?

While walking arm-in-arm with Zeitgeist, Edie had heard her name called out by a familiar voice. It was Cal, asking if she remembered him. He was trying to tell her that he had written a script especially for her and begged for her to read it. As the security man who had tried to bring her in at Zeitgeist’s request so long ago held back her ex-boyfriend, Edie was able to answer her earlier question: You bet this was the life she wanted to be leading!


Venus closes the diary. The book had stopped there. Holding all four volumes, Venus realizes that it doesn’t matter. While they’re around she’s still alive, if only in her head. Holding the 1st volume over the open flame of the stove, Venus tells the absent, yet ever-present Edie Sawyer to say goodbye.

On the floor of Venus‘ room, Guy and Venus sit by candlelight, having finished their meal. Guy tells Venus that he feels so much better now that they’ve cleaned out Edie’s stuff. He doesn’t want any of it. He doesn’t need any of it. Now, he continues, neither of them is hoarding any baggage from the past. They’re both free… to get on with their futures. Holding up his glass of champagne, Guy proposes a toast: “to us.”

Venus repeats the toast and touches her glass to his. As the both drink, Venus cannot help but look to her closet, which is cracked open, and consider the four very intact diaries of Edie Sawyer, which are carefully bound together by a single, pink ribbon, tied into a bow.

Characters Involved: 

Mister Sensitive, Venus Dee Milo (both X-Statix)

Party attendees

In flashbacks:

Edie Sawyer

Cal, Edie’s boyfriend

Diner patrons

Hollywood citizens

Casting director

Restaurant patrons

TV executive

Hookers from Edie’s old hotel

Coach, Doop, Gin Genie, Sluk, Zeitgeist and three unidentified mutants (all X-Force)

X-Force security

X-Force fans

on television within flashback

Channel 6 reporter


Story Notes: 

The redheaded girl in the picture on the cover is Katie Sawyer, Edie’s daughter, who believes Edie to be her older sister.

Three members of X-Force cannot be identified for sure and none seem to be early X-Forcers Plazm, La Nuit or Battering Ram. Their final fate, prior to X-Force #116, the introduction of the media savvy version of X-Force, is unknown.

Edie introduces herself to X-Force as they are about to enter Mann’s Chinese Theatre. Mann’s theatre is famous as being the place movies “officially” open, with the first screening being the stars themselves, other stars and various famous, powerful and influential people in the industry. The theatre was opened in 1927 and was initially called Grauman’s Chinese Theatre until it was purchased by Ted Mann in 1973.

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