Deadpool (3rd series) #3

Issue Date: 
December 2008
Story Title: 
One of Us (Part 3): The Last Refuge of a Scoundrel
Staff: 

Daniel Way (writer), Pado Medina (penciler), Juan Vlasco (inker), Marte Gracia (colorist), VC’s Cory Petit (Letters), Clayton Crain (Cover), Anthony Dial (production), Jody Leheup (assistant editor), Axel Alonso (editor), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (Publisher)

Brief Description: 

As Deadpool is talking to Nick Fury over the computer, a super Skrull comes up behind him. Rather than fight, Deadpool flees as the Skrull tries to hit him with ice and fire blasts. Meanwhile, the insane Deadpool super Skrulls have killed the entire purge unit sent to expunge them and are about to kill the science chief until he tricks them into going after the real Deadpool. Elsewhere, Deadpool is hiding from the original super Skrull and engages him in combat by electrocuting him and then using his own ice powers against him to freeze him solid. At that moment, the science chief and the Deadpool super Skrulls enter but, before a fight breaks out, the Skrulls start mutating. Deadpool explains how his healing factor is designed to counteract his cancer and that, if his healing factor is put in a body without cancer, then new cells will continue to be created. The Deadpool super Skrulls eventually die because of the genetic error, after which Deadpool kills the science chief himself. Deadpool then goes to a computer and enters a sequence given to him by Nick Fury that should send a file on how to kill the Skrull queen to Fury. Curiously, it doesn’t work properly and the file is sent to Norman Osborne instead.

Full Summary: 

Deadpool is talking to Nick Fury on a large monitor but, in his mind, he is seeing Fury as a cartoonish toddler with a pacifier in his mouth. Nick is relieved to see Deadpool and tells him only he can save them. He starts to tell Deadpool how the Skrulls have invaded Earth and that they are really mean but, before he can finish, Deadpool interrupts and says the situation is under control. Nick starts to repeat himself but Deadpool tells him he was lucky that he was around and next time maybe he won’t be so lucky. Deadpool says next time he might be with his supermodel honeys, and with that he imagines two supermodels in their underwear singing to Deadpool.

Nick Fury tries to get hold of Deadpool’s attention but he is too wrapped up in his fantasy. Nick Fury persists from the monitor and simply points to behind Deadpool. With that, Deadpool snaps out of his imagination and looks behind him to see the super Skrull with one arm covered in ice and the other covered in flames. Deadpool greets him and calls him stupid, to which the super Skrull tells him he knew he was a traitor from the moment he saw him. Deadpool replies that of course he was a traitor to the Skrulls but he wasn’t a traitor to Earth or America and tells the super Skrull that “these colors don’t run... unless they have to!” With that Deadpool suddenly turns around and runs away.

Deadpool dodges blasts of fire and ice from the super Skrull as the voices in his head ask what the plan is. As he narrowly dodges another ice blast, the voices realize that he doesn’t have one. Deadpool tells the voices that they are the brains of the operation and that they should come up with a plan. With that, they tell him to duck. As he does so, a huge fireball hits the wall just behind him. The fireball rips open the wall and exposes burst water pipes and live electrical wires. The super Skrull shouts for Deadpool to show himself but the voices in Deadpool’s head come up with a plan and they whisper it to him. When the super Skrull gets to the scene of the damaged wall, Deadpool is nowhere to be found, so the Skrull simply shouts that he can run but he can’t hide.

Further in the base, the Deadpool super Skrulls have slaughtered all the original super Skrulls, much to the anger of the anger science chief. Not deterred, the Deadpool Skrulls tell the chief that they are going to kill him next. A worried chief tells the Skrulls that they can’t kill him, because he made them. One super Skrull says that he has a point but another jokes and says “yeah… on his ears.” With that, another super Skrull replies, “so do you.”

Soon, the other Skrulls are repeating him and then they start point guns at each other and saying “knock knock.” The science chief pleads with them to stop. He tells them that Skrulls do not act this way and that they don’t revel in violence and humor and point guns at their allies. Unfortunately for the chief, they don’t listen and fire the guns into each other’s heads, spraying green blood everywhere whilst the other super Skrulls look on. The science chief tries a different tactic and tells the remaining Skrulls that the guy who gave them the ridiculous ears is getting away. The Deadpool Skrulls are outraged by this and they prepare to waste the “chucklehead” Deadpool.

Elsewhere, the super Skrull is walking through a dark chamber, which now has water on the floor, thanks to the burst water pipes. He uses his fire powers to light the way but is unable to see Deadpool, who is hidden in the pipes that run along the ceiling. As the Skrull warns Deadpool that he is trapped in there with him, Deadpool swings down from the pipes and wraps a snapped electrical wire around the Skrull’s ice arm. As the Skrull is electrocuted, Deadpool points out that the last time he was trapped with the Skrulls it didn’t work out well for them.

After a few seconds of electrocuting the Skrull a breaker shorts out which stops the Skrull getting shocked. The Skrull is staggered by the shock but soon regains his balance and seems even angrier than before, swearing an oath to the Queen that Deadpool will die. With that, he fires an ice beam at Deadpool, who easily uses the pipes above him to swing out the way. Deadpool points out he is a really bad aim and that maybe he should try a career change.

Undeterred, the super Skrull fires another ice beam, which Deadpool dodges again whilst making jokes about possible careers for him. But this ice beam hits the pipes that Deadpool has been standing on and he slips and falls. He just manages to grab a pipe and hangs there with his back to the super Skrull. Deadpool asks the Skrull if he would really shoot him in the back and comments that “I really thought you were cooler than that.”

The Skrull asks Deadpool if he really thinks his hot/cold jokes are funny. When Deadpool answers “yes” the Skrull tells him he will enjoy killing him. Deadpool jokes that the Skrull is going to give a little speech, which turns out to be true when the Skrull goes into detail about how he is going to freeze and smash Deadpool and use the chunks as ice in his drinks. Deadpool tells him he has obviously put a lot of thought into this and the super Skrull replies that yes he has. With that, he raises his ice hand and prepares to fire a beam at Deadpool. However, Deadpool reacts quickly and breaks the pipe he has been hanging from, which causes water to spray out at the super Skrull just as he fires. The water covers the Skrull and causes him to become frozen in a block of ice. Deadpool stands in front of him and tells him he just makes things up as he goes along.

Before he can gloat for much longer, he hears some clapping coming from behind him. As he turns around, he sees the Skrull science chief standing in front of a squad of Deadpool super Skrulls, who are standing in the shadows. The chief congratulates Deadpool on doing the impossible but remarks “that even a broken clock is right twice a day.” This confuses the voices in Deadpool’s head, until they realize that he meant Deadpool achieved it all by dumb luck.

Deadpool asks the chief if he just called him dumb but the chief ignores him and orders the super Skrulls to “get him.” Deadpool calmly stands still and invites the Skrulls to come and get him. When nothing happens, though, the chief turns around and is shocked by what he sees. He asks what is happening to them and Deadpool informs him that the Skrulls aren’t the first to try and duplicate him and that every time it’s been attempted it’s been a failure. He goes on to tell the chief that, even though he has a healing factor, it wasn’t something he was born with and as a result it’s not part of his genome – but cancer is. He guesses that the Skrulls didn’t look for the cancer when they made the test tube super Skrulls.

He continues that Weapon X made the healing factor designed specifically for him and makes replacement cells for the ones killed by cancer. But if this specific healing factor is put into a healthy, cancer-free body then unneeded replacement cells will constantly be created. The science chief looks back to the Deadpool super Skrulls, all of which are now contorted and covered in huge growths all over. The two men wince as the Skrulls start to explode, spraying green blood everywhere.

Deadpool points out to a dejected chief that he isn’t so smart after all. Deadpool then starts to walk away but then stops and says he almost forgot to beat him to death. With that, he punches the chief in the chest, sending him flying upwards. He then kicks him in the head, knocking him to the floor. Deadpool then continues to stamp on the science chief until he is dead. He walks away from the body leaving a trail of green-blooded footprints behind him.

He enters another room and goes to a computer terminal with a hologram of Nick Fury on it. Nick asks him what took him so long, to which Deadpool jokes that he had a heavy exposition scene to do. He sits down at the terminal and asks Fury how he is supposed to do this. Fury asks if he has memorized the sequence, to which Deadpool replies yes. Fury tells him to input the sequence into the computer interface and the upload should begin automatically. He tells Deadpool that the only hard part was getting someone inside the base as the code had to be entered manually. Deadpool scoffs at the words “the only hard part” and asks Fury if he has seen everything that he has done. Fury tells him that wasn’t part of the objective, to which Deadpool mutters about what he has to do to get respect around here.

Deadpool asks what he is uploading but Fury tells him it’s none of his business. Deadpool sits back in the chair and crosses his arms and tells Fury that maybe he cannot remember the sequence after all. Fury relents and tells Deadpool that the files contain bio-data on how to kill a queen Skrull. Deadpool starts singing a little tune, then inputs the sequence and sends the data off. However, Fury doesn’t receive anything his end and starts to blame Deadpool, though Deadpool tells him he entered the sequence correctly. Puzzled, Fury then poses the question where has the data gone.

Elsewhere, on a computer screen, the words “DATA CAPTURED” appear. Norman Osborne calmly sits in front of the screen, with a drink at his side and a sly smile on his face.

Characters Involved: 

Deadpool

Skrull Science Chief

Super Skrull

Numerous Deadpool Super Skrulls

Dead Super Skrulls

Norman Osborne

(In Deadpool’s Imagination)

Two Supermodels

On Computer Monitor/Hologram

Nick Fury

Story Notes: 

This issue is a tie-in to the Secret Invasion crossover event.

Deadpool destroyed a Skrull ship in baseball stadium and then seemingly sided with the Skrulls in Deadpool (2nd Series) #1. He then convinced the Skrulls to make a new batch of super Skrulls based in his genome. He trained the new Skrulls, who then slaughtered the original super Skrulls and became unmanageable in issue #2.

“Gunpowder, Gelatin? Dynamite with a laser beam?” are lyrics from Killer by Queen.

Issue Information: 
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