Steve Rogers peers through some high-tech binoculars at a farmhouse. It’s night time and cars and armed men surround the house. Steve tells his team, Black Widow and Moon Knight, that this is the target. Anti-government militia has been stockpiling small arms and explosives here for over a year. Normally that wouldn’t put something like this on his radar, but last week the girlfriend of one of the militia was arrested for D.U.I. Afraid that she would lose custody of her kid, she told the police that her boyfriend and his militia friends had just received a package from the Russians from across the border in Canada. She thinks the package contained bomb components because they are building a bomb.
The Black Widow asks him what kind of bomb they are building. He tells her he doesn’t know, so they need to be very careful. He looks around for a few seconds and then asks where Deadpool is. Suddenly, a huge explosion rings out and the team ducks behind a nearby tractor. Deadpool struts towards them as the wreckage of the farmhouse burns behind him. He tells them that they had a bomb inside so he used it to bomb their asses.
As he gets to the team, Steve yells at him and says that that wasn’t their mission. Deadpool asks why it wasn’t… because it worked. Moon Knight swears at him and calls him an idiot. He says he was supposed to confiscate the bomb, not blow it up. Deadpool tells him that if he needs bombs then he can get a ton of them. He asks why they need bombs anyway. Steve stutters and then says it’s for blowing up terrorists. Deadpool calmly points behind him and asks if he means like he just did. Steve says he needs a moment and walks away.
Steve gets out his phone and tells the person on the other end that Deadpool is driving him nuts. The voice on the other end tells him to remember what they talked about in their sessions. He is Steve Rogers and a super-soldier, he can do this. Steve hangs up the phone and closes his eyes. He calmly tells himself he can do this. He walks back to Deadpool and simply tells him he doesn’t like him. A little taken aback, Deadpool asks why. Steve tells him it’s because he’s dangerous. Deadpool agrees and says he is dangerous. Steve says they are done there and that the mission is scrubbed. As he and the rest of the team walk away, Deadpool yells after them and says to keep doing the bite thing. Steve says the next time they go into the field, he will listen to his orders and he will do what he tells him to or he’s off the team. Deadpool asks if he means the volleyball team and Steve punches him hard in the side of the head.
(Later at the super-secret underground H.Q.)
One of Deadpool’s inner voices asks what that was all about. Lying in a bed and holding the side of his head, he replies that he couldn’t help himself. His other inner voice adds that they had a chance to be a real hero. Deadpool asks if he meant a real hero like Steve “hits-like-a-girl” Rogers. His inner voice continues and says they finally have the chance to be a real hero and he’s blowing it. Deadpool asks if it’s talking about the bomb. The first voice says they are talking about everything. The bomb, Top Gun references… they’re getting everything they wanted and he’s acting like a tool. The second inner voice asks what’s wrong with them. Deadpool sits up and says he might be a little crazy.
Watching him on a giant monitor, Dr. Bong corrects him and says he is a lot crazy and that’s what makes him so special. From behind him, Steve says he doesn’t get it and asks why he needs Deadpool when he has them. Dr. Bong says it’s because Deadpool is the genuine article. Steve starts to say that because they are genetic clones, but Dr. Bong corrects him and adds they are imperfect genetic clones. Steve looks down and mutters that that’s hurtful. Dr. Bong puts his arm on Steve’s shoulder and calls him Batch 191. He apologizes for hurting his feelings and his failings as a genetic engineer. Unfortunately, the truth hurts sometimes. He says they’ve talked about it before and then tells them all to go get some rest as they have a busy day the next day.
Outside, the real Steve Rogers, Black Widow and Moon Knight observe the base from a nearby rooftop. Steve tells them the plan. Black Widow will cover exits one and two and Moon knight will give him three minutes and then come in after him. Moon Knight cracks his knuckles and says he’s got it. Steve tells Black Widow, who has a big sniper rifle, to drop anyone who comes out. She asks what happens if no one does, to which Steve says that it’s mission accomplished then.
Inside the base, Steve walks down a corridor and Deadpool runs up behind him. Deadpool waves and starts to talk about the previous day. Steve punches him around the head, knocking him to the floor. As Deadpool sits on the floor, tenderly touching his nose, he says he was going to apologize. Steve ignores him and kicks him so hard that Deadpool is tossed through the air. Deadpool starts to pick himself off the floor and he says that it looks like somebody needs to learn how to forgive and forget. His inner voice chips in and says at least he’s learned how to throw a decent punch.
Suddenly, an alarm starts sounding and the corridor flashes with a red light. Deadpool says that’s usually not good. Dr. Bong, Moon Knight and Black Widow are watching the scene unfold on the giant monitor. One of them says they are under attack and Dr. Bong confirms that it’s the real Steve Rogers. He radios Batch 191, the clone of Steve, but he doesn’t get a response. Batch 191 is running through the corridors. He opens a hatch and escapes outside but Black Widow spots him with her rifle and shoots him in the chest. He looks stunned for a few seconds and she tells him not to look pathetic. She shoots him in the forehead and as he lies on the floor bleeding she says he’ll regenerate… eventually.
Inside, the clone Moon Knight spots the real Black Widow on some monitors. The clone Black Widow looks worried and says they have to get out of there. Dr. Bong asks what she proposes… all the exits are covered. She tells him he’s the evil genius, so he should figure something out. Dr. Bong tells them they have to fight their way out and Moon Knight points to Steve on the monitor and asks if he means they should fight him. As they watch the monitor, Steve punches Deadpool in the face again, sending blood spraying everywhere. Moon Knight tells him to *#%& that. Dr. Bong points his giant spherical metal hand at Moon Knight and tells him that this is exactly why he wanted Deadpool for the team; he never stops fighting. He’s just taking it as he thinks Steve is his friend. Black Widow points out that Deadpool thinks they’re his friend too and Dr. Bong says that’s a good thing.
Dr. Bong explains that Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, used to be a psychiatric patient of his. He has spent many, many, many hours inside that scarred head of his and there’s one thing he can say with certainty. If there’s one thing Deadpool hates more than himself, it’s his friends.
As Deadpool continues to be pummeled by Steve Rogers, he finally snaps and slashes him across the chest with his katana. Deadpool tells Steve he really used to look up to him. When he asked him to join the team, he couldn’t believe it. Steve tries to point out that he wasn’t the one who asked but Deadpool kicks him in the throat before he can finish. He kicks Steve around the head and then grabs him by the scruff of the neck. He tells him he should have known he didn’t really want to be his pal. He’s just like the rest of them; he’s out to use him. Steve head butts Deadpool in the mouth but is has no effect. Steve calls Deadpool insane, to which Deadpool agrees. He head butts Steve back and tells him he would have let him use him.
As Steve kneels on the floor, Deadpool stands over him and asks why he turned on him. He asks is it because he made Steve look bad or is it because he’s so much better at it than he is? With that, he hits Steve in the head with the butt of his katana and then knees him in the chest. Steve can barely stand up but he agrees that Deadpool was right, he is much better. Steve suddenly fights back and, with a few well placed punches, he pulls Deadpool’s arm behind him and then breaks it.
Dr. Bong, Moon Knight and Black Widow continue to watch it all on the monitors. Moon Knight is amazed that Deadpool really isn’t afraid to die. Dr. Bong points out that neither them are afraid to die. Deadpool’s advantage is that he fears living. Deadpool gets out of his arm lock and picks Steve up by his throat and asks to give him more. The Black Widow clone mutters that he’s a psychopath but Dr. Bong corrects her and says he isn’t… but Marc Spector is. As Deadpool throttles Steve, a bunch of moon shaped throwing stars hits him in the back. The real Moon Knight enters and asks if he can get in on it. Steve calls for no more fighting and says they need to talk.
Still watching the monitors, Dr. Bong swears and says that’s it then. The clone Moon Knight asks he what he means and Dr. Bong replies that it’s time to face facts that this venture is done. The clone Black Widow asks if he is going to surrender but he replies that of course he isn’t… his name isn’t Dr. Surrender. With that, he lifts his giant metallic ball-hand high above his bell-head. He hits his head and a catastrophic sound rings out. The clones of Moon Knight and Black Widow are literally blown apart and everyone else inside the base falls to their knees and clutches their ears. Outside, Black Widow can only watch as the entire building explodes and then collapses in on itself.
