Dressed in pseudo-Asgardian garb, Cypher announces there shall be an ending to this grim tale of wanton Sigurd, the most ancient and yet slutty of all the legendary heroes. And the fatal Disir, the ravening she-warriors who were stricken by a curse because of Sigurd to roam the world, slaying men and eating their flesh. About which, you know, eww. Forsooth, he continues, for that is a word, the coils of fate have finally bound both together, where the simple ritual of a wedding will end their curse and set both Sigurd and the Disir free from their eternal torment. In the community church hall, Mission Street, San Francisco where they lay their scene…
Loki interrupts, chiding him to stop pinching his saga gig. Plus, come on! The ceremony is starting. Here come the brides!
Standing at the front is the officiating Bor, flanked by Cypher and Sunspot the unhappy groom Sigurd. Meanwhile, Hela’s handmaiden Leah leads the brides, the Disir, through the aisles. Hela watches everything from behind while Mephisto tries to get Magma’s attention. Apart from the mutants, the amnesiac and very confused Asgardians are also present and wonder why they are there.
Sigurd whispers to Sunspot that this is a bad idea. Roberto points out nobody has come up with anything better. Dani doesn’t like it for other reasons. The Disir are the victims here, trapped by the half-baked values of a patriarchal--
Loki interrupts her because she is dull. He reminds her that the Disir are trapped between Sigurd’s curse and their own monstrous natures. Bor is the only one who can break the spell. Even if the old goat does look like he‘s relishing the misery a bit too much…
Arthur wonders why Bor keeps glaring at him. And did he just say he was the father of the gods or something? Tiff points out that’s not the weirdest thing that happened today. He admits the weirdest thing is he feels he should know what’s going on…
Bor orders the Disir to form into a rank and make their pledge. Man will take dominion over these chattel women, he booms, as is his right! No more will they stray! With iron, he will bind them…
Dani whispers to Brun they don’t have to do this. What choice do they have? Brun asks. It’s the only way to escape Bor’s curse.
Everything will be fine, babe, Sigurd assures her grinning while Bor continues they will be his handmaidens and servants, his help-meets and his slaves forever. To bear his children and to raise them. To toil in the home and--
This is wrong! Dani interrupts. There’s got to be another way. Sometimes you’ve got to fight for what you believe in! That’s enough! she shouts and threatens Bor with her sword.
Fighting is her way? Loki scoffs. Fighting isn’t a way! Dani shouts she’s had it with Bor’s chauvinistic swill and orders him to end the curse. Dani then demands Loki do something about this. Now that she’s gotten into Bor’s face? he protests.
Hela too is displeased. Bor shoves Dani back with an energy blast. One of the Disir helps Dani up, while the others announce they will have no more of this. Their liberty counts for nothing. They’d rather see Bor suffer! Not good, Sigurd mutters and gets to run while the mutants get ready for battle against Bor.
Angrily, Bor orders the Disir to kneel. The mutants are thrown back by his energy. Warlock tries to protect them while the Disir attack Bor. Dani orders her team to counterstrike. Is she sure? Nate wonders. Amara points out that Bor called Dani a wench. What does he think?
Loki suggests to Hela they get out of here and they teleport away.
Kneel before Bor! the angry god repeats as he begins to strangle one Disir. Dani orders the team to take him down
Amara makes lava appear beneath him, while Sunspot saves the Disir woman. Dani cuts Bor. As he bleeds, the Disir go into full attack-mode, driven by bloodlust. Enough of this! Bor shouts and teleports away to Hel. The Disir and Dani give chase while the portal is open, leaving the others behind to wonder what happened.
Mephisto uses the chance to sidle up to Magma, joking those Norsemen are worse than Italians, and he hung out with Dante. Is she okay? Angrily, she tells him Dani is gone. She leapt into the portal. And now it is closed, Cypher agrees, but it was definitely a route to Hel. Amara asks Mephisto for help. He reminds her Hel is not his jurisdiction. He got them there before, Amara points out. Angrily, he tells her he’s invested a lot of time and effort into those Disir and he’s very annoyed they’ve escaped from his clutches before he could see any return on that investment.
Outside the gates of Hel, Bor shouts for them to be opened, as the Disir are on his heels.
Sitting atop the battlement is Loki, who informs him that Hela put him on guard duty and he’s shut up shop for the day. Furious, Bor orders his “grandson” to open the gates. Loki points out the irony of him being hoisted on his own cruel petard.
Dani tries to calm the Disir. They’ll be damned for all eternity if they kill Bor! Only he can break the curse. They are damned anyway! Brun snarls.
What is he playing at? Dani shouts at Loki, who informs her this is Plan B. This is the other way. Loki suggests to Bor there is one way out. If he cancels his curse and takes away the Disir’s soul hunger.
Bor curses him but then complies and frees the Disir. A light engulfs them and the Disir are returned to their state of warriors maidens. See, that wasn’t so hard, Loki beams, while Bor vows revenge on him for making him an oathbreaker.
Hela intervenes. She tells the Disir their curse is lifted but they are many centuries beyond their mortal state. They must choose their fate: go to their eternal rest or will they serve as Hela’s Valkyries? The Disir gladly accept her job offer. Pleased, Hela orders them to return Bor to her palace.
Hela then returns Loki and Dani to San Francisco, where all the Asgardians are restored again. Thor thanks Dani and the other mutants. Volstagg even admits that they owe Loki. Dani thanks Thor, then asks if the car is ready. Joke! she adds.
Thor muses that the spell made them a part of this community. He had forgotten how curiously contented mortal life can be. They must clear away and rebuild before they depart.
Loki apparently tries to shirk work duty when he runs into Mephisto, who informs him that he owes him big. Loki took his handmaidens from him. What’s more, he ruined his chances with that Amara girl. Now that she knows Mephisto owned the Disir for a while, she won’t have anything to do with him. And he had such plans for her.
Loki tries to talk but Mephisto stops him. He has made an enemy of him today and he will not forget it. They will soon have their reckoning, he promises and disappears.
Who was he talking to? Dani asks. No one! Loki claims. Dani wonders what became of Sigurd in all the confusion.
Zig, it turns out, has gone to Texas and joined a firefighting crew there. In a bar he flirts again. When he hits the restroom, the Disir appear behind him. What do they want? he asks nervously.
If it were up to Hlökk, he’d be singing falsetto now, Brun informs him. But they took a vote and decided to let him live. They waited for their vengeance so long, centuries. Now they realize he is not even worth it. They are Hela’s Valkyries now. They have the foreknowledge of Hel. They know the hour, place and manner of his death. So they will come to him then and he will enjoy their cold embrace. It’s something for him to look forward to. After so many years, they can wait a little longer…
With those words they leave him alone…
