The waitress from Knockers who had served Deadpool is looking at a photo of him that two men have given her. She starts complaining how the freaks always sit in her section of the bar and that she must be some loser-magnet. She asks one of the men, “Detective Cates,” if Deadpool is dangerous and they explain that he blew up a building. She continues to say how she totally loves America and that she’ll do anything to help the men. Thanked for her sentiment, she is asked if Deadpool said anything that might help them find him. Unfortunately, she doesn’t know, as Deadpool just stared at her boobs the entire time and tried to smell her hair.
The two men interviewing her turn are, in fact, the Punisher and his associate Henry Russo, both of whom are wearing bad, fake moustaches and long coats to disguise their real personas. Henry is having trouble focusing on the waitress’s face, as she is still wearing a very low cut top as part of her uniform. When the Punisher quietly reminds him to look her in the eyes, he says he is like a moth to a flame. When the Punisher jokes that he should take a picture, Henry starts clicking a hidden camera and his jacket.
Before the waitress becomes too suspicious, Henry moves the conversation along and starts asking how Deadpool paid for his food. She responds by saying he paid with cash and that he also left her a creepy little picture he drew. When she says the picture also included a phone number, the Punisher asks to see it, to which the waitress says, “Sure. I think I remember where I put it.”
Shortly thereafter, both Henry and the Punisher are digging around in a dumpster behind the bar, whilst the waitress looks on. After the Punisher finds the piece of paper with the number, Henry is confident that they can catch Deadpool, “easy peasy.” The Punisher seems to admire Henry’s confidence but not so much his use of off vernacular.
Soon thereafter, both men are sitting in a surveillance van, listening in on Deadpool’s phone conversations. Henry remarks that he must be a stone-cold killer, as the stress points in his voice are “cool as ice water.” Punisher says that, although he is a murdering bottom feeder, he is still a professional, which is why he hasn’t kicked down the door yet. Just as he says this, Deadpool starts making a call for pizza, which comes as a relief to the Punisher, who thought it might be for more phone sex.
A pizza delivery boy drives up in a car and gets out. The Punisher is waiting for him and offers the boy one thousand dollars for his jacket, cap and pizza. Deadpool is sitting on his apartment’s couch without a mask on when a knock comes on the door. He asks who it is, to which the man on the other side replies “pizza.” Deadpool puts his mask on and looks through the spy hole in the door to see the Punisher in a green jacket and cap holding a pizza. Oblivious that it’s the Punisher in disguise, Deadpool lets him in.
Inaudibly, Henry confirms via ear-set radio that there are no other unfriendlies in the apartment. Deadpool asks how much the pizza was and the Punisher replies fifteen, to which Henry quickly corrects him that it was twenty. Deadpool apologizes for the amount of change he is giving him but then says that he could use it for laundry as the man smells a wicked-ripe.
With his back turned, Deadpool suddenly spies via a reflection on the jar of coins the Punisher drawing a weapon out of his jacket. Quickly, he flings the jar at the Punisher just as he shoots his energy gun. This causes some of the coins to be fired back at Deadpool, injuring him as if he’d been shot. Stunned for a second, Deadpool imagines the Punisher dressed up as Dr. Doom. The Punisher then fires a second blast directly into Deadpool’s right eye and says “compliments of the Tornado,” to which Henry corrects him that it was Torpedo.
Still conscious, despite the gaping hole in his head, Deadpool takes out his sword and chops the gun in two, whilst squaring up to the Punisher. However, the Punisher takes off the pizza boy’s jacket, revealing his costume and the mechanical tail of the Scorpion. Using the tail, the Punisher grabs Deadpool and thrusts his head into the ceiling whilst remarking that the device actually works. Henry replies, “Of course it works… I rebuilt it.”
Mrs. Jenson, Deadpool’s landlady and upstairs neighbor, is startled when Deadpool’s head bursts through her floor. Just as he apologizes that the rent may be a little late, he is dragged back down and thrust through the window. Deadpool quickly takes out his sword again and slices through the mechanical arm, which causes his to start falling to the street below. Even quicker, though, the Punisher uses one of Whiplash’s whips and ties of Deadpool by one of his legs and dangles him out the window. When asked by Deadpool if the Punisher will him, the Punisher clicks a button on the whip which causes a huge electrical surge to surge through the whip and thus Deadpool.
When the surge passes, the now smoldering Deadpool is no longer struggling and is now limp. Just as the Punisher starts hauling him up, Deadpool braces himself against the outside wall and pulls the man through the hole in the wall. This causes both men to crash down to a rooftop below, landing on their heads. The Punisher is knocked unconscious whilst Deadpool staggers away.
(Ten Minutes Later)
Deadpool is knocking on a door and willing the occupant to be home. Outlaw opens the door in a short NY Giants t-shirt and underwear. Deadpool compliments her on her short haircut as his voices compete in noting her throwback tee, with one remarking at the irony of her large breasts being contained by a tee labeled “Giants.” She helps him inside whilst he apologizes for his eye socket dripping on her floor. She replies that she shouldn’t worry; the cleaning lady comes this week.
Sitting on the couch, he leans his head on her chest and starts to go to sleep. However, Outlaw takes his head in her hands and tells him that he needs to stay awake and keep talking, otherwise he’ll go into shock. To that end, she asks him if it was true that he blew up a building full of people. When he says he was set up, she keeps him talking by getting him to tell her about the man who set him up. Outlaw finds it hard to make sense of what Deadpool is saying, as he starts mumbling about the fight with Punisher and imagining her as Bea Arthur.
Just then, Deadpool’s mobile phone rings, which Outlaw answers. Sitting in the surveillance van again, the Punisher is sewing up him wounds whilst Henry exclaims, “We got a hit.”
(Meanwhile)
Tombstone greets Conrad, as a gagged man is dragged toward them by two other men. Confused, Conrad asks what’s going on. Tombstone replies that the gagged man is Bunky and that he used to do collections for Tombstone. Conrad then notices a pen of giant boars with large tusks and glowing eyes. Asked what they are, Tombstone replies that he has raised the pigs since he was in sixth grade and they were fed some medical waste supplies a few years ago that made them change. Tombstone then takes a bucket of slops and throws it to the pigs, at which point Conrad notices human fingers and toes amongst the slops. Tombstone says they will eat whatever is put in front of them and the mother pig almost bit off his fingers at one point. He gestures to the other men, who promptly throw Bunky into the pen. Conrad looks on wide-eyed as Bunky is devoured by the pigs.
Tombstone then grabs Conrad’s head the pushes it down to the railings of the pen. His face is inches away from one of the snarling pig’s snouts. Tombstone threatens Conrad by saying he is going to humiliate the man first if he doesn’t pay his debt. Then he will throw him to the pigs. Tombstone demands that Conrad check in every day to make sure that he doesn’t run away. He then takes a device out of his jacket and presses it against Conrad’s neck, placing a chip under his skin. Tombstone now has Conrad chipped and will be able to monitor him wherever he goes.
(The Next Morning)
At Outlaw’s apartment, an unmasked Deadpool wakes up on the couch. He remarks to “Crazy Inez” that his eye has grown back and she “rooks maaaarevellllloous.” To this, she retorts that if he calls her “Inez” again, she’ll rip his eye back out. She then asks him what his next move is, to which he says that, though he’s like to sit around watching “I Love Lucy” reruns, he is probably being hunted by every card-carrying member. Outlaw offers to call Agent X but Deadpool says he needs to do this alone. Curious, he then asks how that “chunky monkey” is doing, to which Outlaw replies that he’s actually lost 14 lbs with Jennry Craig. To this, Deadpool notes that it’s only four hundred ninety more to go. Not bad.
Outlaw puts on a jacket and says she has to go for a bikini wax. Deadpool reaches for a sword and offers to do it for her, to which she replies that her boyfriend probably wouldn’t like that. Asked if she has a boyfriend now, Outlaw replies “sorta.” It’s a terrific guy she met on Ashley Madison.
Sidestepping this, Deadpool says he intends to visit the people at “Black Ops Magazine” to find out about the person who put the advert in the publication. Outlaw begins to offer “If there’s anything I can do,” to which Deadpool immediately perks up, only for Outlaw to rebuff him just as quickly. They continue to flirt as Deadpool puts on his mask.
A few moments after she has left, there is a knock at the door. Expecting that Outlaw has returned, Deadpool opens it, only to find the Punisher standing in the doorway with a sword raised above his head. Before Deadpool can act, the Punisher swipes the sword down, taking Deadpool’s his right arm off at the elbow. The Punisher then slashes across Deadpool’s stomach and chops his left arm off, just as Deadpool reached for a gun. Deadpool quickly kicks the Punisher in the chest, sending him flying backwards. Deadpool then charges head first, only for the Punisher to dodge out the way and stab Deadpool through the back.
Lying on the floor in a pool of blood, Deadpool professes his innocence. The Punisher adamantly claims there is video of the event, to which Deadpool claims that it was done with green screen. Undeterred, the Punisher raises the sword over his head once again to finish off Deadpool. However, just as he is about to swing the blade, he is hit on the back of the head. As the Punisher falls unconscious on the floor, Deadpool turns to see Daredevil crouching in the broken window. Egged on by the armless Deadpool, Daredevil quips that he thought Deadpool could use a hand.
