Captain America and Bucky fight amidst an army of Nazi soldiers. Teeth clenched grimly, they battle through the horde of gunfire with their shield and musket respectively. The Nazi soldiers are tossed casually through the air for all of their effectiveness.
As this is witnessed, Bob-Agent of HYDRA muses that the only thing worse than being pulled like taffy through the timestream is finding yourself in the middle of a WWII battlefield and not knowing which side to take. As an American first and HYDRA agent second, it seems obvious to fight the super bad Nazis, but that would mean helping Captain America, the scourge of all things Hydra-iffic. Also, who gives a teenage kid like Bucky a machine gun and just says "Go get 'em," thinks Bob. All of his training says to run and hide, but unfortunately he has a time travelling buddy who just cannot help himself.
Deadpool fights side by side with Cap, drop kicking a Nazi in the face. Okay, Axis, here we come, he yells as Bucky questions who the #@$% he is. Deadpool asks if Bucky cleans latrines with that mouth, before declaring himself as the fighting American patriot hero Deadpool-uhm Canadian hero he means. Bucky wants to know what is wrong with Deadpool's voice, to which Wade replies that his cracks due to the understandable stress, as opposed to Bucky's doing so due to puberty.
As the trio cut a swathe through the Nazi ranks, Captain America tells Bucky to be at ease and not look a gift horse in the mouth. He thanks Deadpool for the assist and wants clarification on his Canadian origin. Deadpool explains that they had their own Super-soldier project thing...
Bucky uses excessive force on a grounded soldier and Deadpool remarks to Cap that Bucky seems feistier than the history books would suggest. When Cap questions the history books comment, Deadpool claims he can't lie to Cap and proceeds to make up a story about how the Nazis have a secret time machine weapon they are using to go to the future and win the war. Cap states that there were rumors of Hitler dabbling in such research and a surprised Deadpool quickly confirms that, of course, that was what they were sent there to stop. Bob has finally creeped his way to Deadpool's side, now that the fighting is over, and reinforces Wade's story by commenting how bad that would turn out.
Bucky suspiciously questions Bob what the "H" stands for on his uniform and Deadpool covers for the cowering Bob by saying that it stands for "The Hider." Bob is an excellent infiltration operative, Wade explains to Bucky, who excitedly says they should trade notes. Deadpool asks what Cap and Bucky are doing, and Cap explains that they are looking into the activities of the Nazi scientist Arnim Zola. Deadpool wants to team up prompting an exclamation of "NO!" from Bob. As Deadpool reprimands Bob, they suddenly both start brightly glowing and time appears to jump back a few moments.
Captain America is introducing himself again talking about looking gift horses in the mouth and Bucky wants to know what the "H" stands for. This time Deadpool says that Bob is Halitosis Man, him having a nasty but effective power. The pair move off to the side, as Bob protests and Deadpool apologizes for his knee-jerk reaction. Besides Bob's breath is... never mind. What just happened, asks Wade. Bob theorizes that it was a temporal hiccup where Cap and Bucky forgot the last few minutes. Wade thinks this might not be a bad thing in the case they say the wrong thing.
Cap asks Bucky what he thinks, and Bucky thinks he'd like a date with Rita Hayworth. When the humor goes over Cap's head, Bucky seriously answers that he hasn't figured them out yet. As the pair studies Wade and Bob secretly conversing, the two wave innocently back at the WWII legends. Back to Wade and Bob, Deapool claims to know Zola and believes that, despite being crazy, he is just brilliant enough to maybe get them back to their own time. When Bob protests that he is a Nazi, Wade smacks him upside the head, reminding him that they win the war. The world becomes a safe and peaceful place... well it doesn't, but not because of Nazis. If Cap and Bucky are going to Zola's, then they should just go with them.
Deadpool walks back over to Cap and Bucky and explains that they are here on assignment for Canada, tracking a Nazi scientist named Arnim Zola. Have they ever heard of him? Captain America smiles and says that it sounds like their mission assignments overlap and that they should work together. Bucky frowns at this and a slumping Bob tries to sound enthusiastic about the team up. Bucky again asks what the "H" stands for.
Walking through a ruined city, Bob is lagging behind and complaining about how Cap and Wade never seem to get tired, even after miles of walking. Bucky seems to refuse to get tired, but Bob is exhausted and his feet hurt. This seems nothing like the show Band of Brothers, Bob thinks. First of all, there is no grainy footage and second his feet hurt. Bucky asks Bob if he's okay as Bob pauses to shake out his boots. Bob replies that these shoes weren't made for walking. Bucky asks what they were made for, and Bob tells him never mind, “chronal anachronism.” Whatever the #@$% that means, replies Bucky. As Bob shakes out his removed boot, he comments that he never expected Bucky to have such a potty mouth.
Checking to make sure Cap and Wade are far enough away, Bucky suddenly jumps on Bob, brandishing a knife and demanding for him to tell his real story. A very startled Bob mechanically recites that he is trained to resist any kind of torture. After the knife very slightly nicks his throat, Bob starts spilling his guts about his name and affiliation with HYDRA, including the history of HYDRA being the remnants of the army Nazi they defeat in 1945. Continuing, he explains that he and Wade were caught in a temporal warp where they met the two of them and are hoping to use Zola to get back to their own time. Bob suddenly glows in a bright light and suddenly a confused Bucky looks perplexed at his knife and asks what the "H" stands for yet again.
Wade and Cap are talking a little further ahead about Wade's Canadian super-soldier program. Wade says that it is a bit different than Cap's program, to which Cap posits that at least Wade isn't being used as a propaganda tool. Taken aback, Wade genuinely asks if that bothers Cap, seeing as how well he seems to handle it. A grimly determined Cap responds that all he wanted to do was fight for his country, and if a costume and war bond drive is the price to pay, then so be it. Wade wants Cap to know that it is more than just that... Cap understands but he just tries hard to separate the concept of Captain America from the man behind the mask. How does he do that, Wade asks, and still manage to make all the right choices? Cap doesn't seem to see any other alternative. Wade points out that they are in Nazi Germany, and this is the alternative. What better reason then, to do the right thing and make the right choices, Cap concludes.
Captain America, Deadpool, and Bob wait in the cover of night, in the forest, observing a distant log cabin. Bob thinks about how they sent that dislikable but undeniably confident Bucky out to do his thing. Confidence was what his wife Allison always said he lacked. And Captain America... Bob knows he is supposed to fear and hate him but how can he? Besides, before he joined HYDRA, he always thought Cap was so cool... "Hail HYDRA! Immortal HYDRA! We shall never be destroyed! Cut off a limb and two more shall take its place!" Fist raised high, Bob's conditioning seems to overtake his need to remain stealthy.
A very surprised Cap is mollified slightly by Deadpool's explanation that Bob has a nervous twitch... Just ignore him... Cap still looks very suspicious and Bob nearly jumps out of his skin when Bucky suddenly returns giving the all clear. The "H" should stand for Hopeless, decides Bucky. He explains that the Nazis had carved into the mountain like they thought. Bucky had found two hidden air vents around the house with no guards. Cap and Wade decide to split up and meet in the middle.
At one of the air vents, as Deadpool pries open the grate, Bob remarks to Wade about how serious he has been around Captain America. Wade responds that Cap is a remarkably serious guy and not in a Dick-Cheney-is-so-uptight kind of way. Bob supposes that is true and says that it is hard to believe that Cap is like ten years younger than them. As they crawl into the vent, Bob asks Wade if Zola will really know how to get them back to their time. Wade isn't sure, but given that Zola is a mad scientist...
Bob ends the discussion by concluding it might not be so bad being stuck in the past, knowing the future. He thinks to himself that he should buy every available copy of Action Comics #1 and that he knows every World Series winner for the next 50 years. Guess he will get the last laugh, right Allison? Actually Allison, won't be born for another 30 years... but her mom was smokin' when she was younger... All things to consider if they never make it back.
In present day, Manhattan, in the office of Agency X, Sandi questions Weasel on whether the repairs he's making to his armor are safe. Weasel replies that it is as safe as repairs to damaged equipment that manipulates tachyon particles can be. Sandi is not reassured by the comment and Outlaw doesn't believe it was ever supposed to be reassuring. An overly obese Agent X watches the proceedings, more interested in the ice cream he is consuming. Weasel is certain that Wade and Bob are still alive, he just lacks the proper tachyon scanning equipment to trace the hiccup that folded space around them. Sandi asks if that is the only way to find them and Outlaw asks who might have that equipment. Agent X suggests that, if hiccups are the problem, he should try sugar water.
In the past, Captain America and Bucky stand in the shadows of the ceiling, observing Arnim Zola working on an experiment. Bucky asks Cap if he thinks the other pair will know to follow their lead. Deadpool seems quite competent, assures Cap. "Arnim Zola, your madness ends now!" Bucky mutters about how dramatic Cap is even when the cameras aren't rolling. A surprised Zola turns around to face a leaping Captain America and Deadpool, along with a posed to shoot Bucky. "Nein! I will not be stopped by American Svine!" Zola throws a switch as Deadpool protests that some of them are sort of Canadian.
Zola poses in triumph as a giant humanoid monster awakens, due to bolts of electricity striking him. Grey in color, around twelve feet tall and with arms much longer than normal, Zola decries that his version of Frankenstein's monster will, "Kill Zem All!" The monster starts swinging his elongated arms around the room in a vicious fashion and all Cap can say is how the poor soul is in agony. Deadpool protests that it should be themselves they are worried about, before stopping midsentence. "I mean-yeah-we should figure out how to help this guy..." Meanwhile, Bucky gets punched to the floor.
Bob hides on the other end of the room, claiming to himself that his HYDRA training has kicked in. It's not so much about hiding, as strategic invisibility. He observes as the creature has Cap in his clutches and uppercuts Deadpool. He notices how hard Wade is trying to stop the monster without killing it, even at great risk to himself. The force of the punch knocks Wade backwards, impaling him through the chest by a random spike. A distraught Cap cries out to his presumed fatally wounded ally, but Deadpool hops off the spike, casually telling him not to worry about it. Drop kicking the monster to the face and freeing Cap, Wade explains that little things like being impaled do not stop this super soldier. Next, Wade points a gun at a panicked Zola and demands that he turn this thing off.
As Wade shoots at Zola, hitting the camera on his head. The monster jumps in front and takes several rounds to the chest. A startled Deadpool assures everyone he was aiming for Zola, as an enraged gun-toting Bucky appears and reveals himself to be the one trying to kill the monster. Cap places himself and his shield in front of the monster and commands Bucky to stop, stating this creature isn't in control of his actions. A momentarily confused creature is commanded by Zola to "destroy zem" and quickly goes back to trying to smash the heroes. Deadpool thinks they should maybe rethink this whole poor creature strategy.
Bob watches as Zola attempts to escape in the confusion and touts his invisibility strategy as finally paying off. Bob races to catch up to Zola, yelling at him to let them borrow a time machine. As Cap and Wade continue fighting, Bucky pleads to Cap that they don't have much choice and Zola is escaping. Wade starts to glow yellow with time particles yet again and he thinks this time feels worse than before. He gets an idea and hugs the monster, just as a similarly glowing Bob finally reaches and grabs Zola. The flash of light spreads.
Zola turns a gun on Bob and demands, in German, to know who he is. Bob tries to explain that he doesn't know German, but maybe Hablo Espanol? Cap and Bucky are flabbergasted, demanding to know what happened and demanding Deadpool identify himself. Wade is in the middle of what used to be the monster. It has exploded into a giant gray mess of sludge and bones. The still intact head whispers out, Help-me... What-happened...
Short-term memory thing, theorizes Wade. The monster must be back to how he was when Zola first started experimenting on him... Sorry... It won't last long but they had to stop fighting him. The monster pleads with Wade to kill him, since he won't ever be normal again. Wade resigns himself and quotes Cap from earlier that, when there is no alternative but doing the right thing... A confused Cap just looks on and wants to know what he means and who he is. Please... whispers the monster. Kapow!
A distressed Bucky holds a smoking gun and spurts out that he thought he had to. Wade, holding a smoking gun as well, is missing a chunk of his head, having been shot by Bucky. He states that it figures that's what he gets for trying to do the right thing, and he doesn't think he likes feisty Bucky so much. He collapses to the ground as Bob comes rushing back in towards him.
Hugging the mortally wounded Wade, Bob is being questioned by Cap yet again as to what is happening and who they are. Bob glows with yellow light and suddenly Deadpool is back alive in time for Cap to again be confused. Finally, one final time, the pair glow with the brightest light yet and disappear altogether. Bucky and Cap no longer have any memory of what just transpired and look around wondering where the heck they are. Bob thinks about how that last one felt more like a pull than a push, and that someone must be trying to bring them back home.
At the present day Baxter Building, Outlaw and Sandi watch Weasel at work and question if the two should have appeared by now. Weasel assures them he is working on it as he is surrounded by a lot of high tech equipment attached to his tachyon suit. Over the intercom, a voice explains that the only reason they allowed Weasel access to such equipment was because, frankly, the idea of Deadpool and a rogue HYDRA agent running amok in the timestream was even more problematic.
A distresses Weasel is then asked three questions by the revealed voice of Black Panther surrounded by Storm, Thing and Human Torch. If they are not here, where are they? What can the Fantastic Four do about it? Lastly, how much trouble are you in if you can't answer the first two questions?
