Wolverine and the X-Men (1st series) #24

Issue Date: 
March 2013
Story Title: 
Ain’t No Sin to Be Glad You’re Alive

Jason Aaron (writer), David Lopez (penciler), Alvaro Lopez (inks), Morry Hollowell w/ James Campbell (colorist), VC’s Joe Caramagna (letterer), Nick Ramon Perez & Laura Martin (cover artists), Jordan D. White (associate editor), Nick Lowe (editor), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (Exec. Publisher)

Brief Description: 

Wolverine finds he has been made babysitter for the night, as most of the other staff members are out on town. He reminisces with Storm, who has replaced Kitty as co-headmistress and who now asks him to step up. In turn, he trims her hair back to a Mohawk and they share a kiss. Kitty and Iceman are out on a date and find they have nothing to talk about until they stop trying to act normal and do crazy things involving their powers, at which point it turns into the best date ever. Beast is visiting his lover, Abigail Brand, hoping SWORD can help him find some method to heal Broo. Idie witnesses Broo waking up. Unfortunately, he has turned feral. Quentin Quire tries to hit on Jean Grey from the past. Predictably, she isn’t interested. Sabretooth trains Kade Kilgore’s murder skills.

Full Summary: 

The Jean Grey School:
Ororo Munroe aka Storm is in video contact with her former husband, the Black Panther. Does he remember to eat? she asks concerned. He has people who remember it for him, he points out. How are they treating her at school? Is that place seriously as strange as he heard? Stranger, Ororo agrees. But other than inebriated blue devils that insist on sneaking into her garden and eating her azaleas, she is settling in just fine. Does that mean she’s back in the attic? No, it was taken, by a Deathlok, no less. Instead, she is somewhere with a better view, namely a floating globe above the school

Is she… seeing anyone? T’Challa asks hesitatingly. Let’s not do this just yet, Ororo asks. He reminds her that their marriage may have been annulled, but she will always be in his heart. She will always be his queen.

Checkmate, she tells him as she moves a figure in their game. He has to stop letting her win. On one condition, he tells her. He wishes her well in her new endeavors, wherever and with whomever they may take her. Just promise him one thing. T’Challa, she warns. Not him, he insists. Anyone but him.

Somewhat the worse for wear and still having several arrows in his body, Wolverine enters Harry’s Hideaway in Salem Center to get beer. And lots of it. Harry refuses. His pal Rachel left a little something for him, namely a telepathic message of an angry Rachel telling him to not even think about it.

A little later, Wolverine is back at the school, shouting Rachel’s name. Good, he got the message, Rachel, dressed up, remarks as she exits the building, followed by Warbird, Deathlok, Angel and Doop, most of whom are also dressed up. She’s sure he hasn’t forgotten it’s his night to babysit. It’s teachers’ night out. They are headed for the city for some well-deserved leisure time.

There had better be coupling involved, Warbird remarks. She was promised there would be indiscriminate coupling. Deathlok announces that he is serving as the “designated driver.” He is told this is a role of great honor. He’s been given the honor of paying for everyone’s drinks, Angel announces cheerfully.

He can’t run this place alone, Logan insists. He doesn’t even know how to turn the lights on? Where’s Kitty. On her first date with Bobby, Rachel explains, so don’t dare bother her. Just make sure Krakoa gets fed and the kids don’t kill each other. Toad’s off too, so he’s on Bamf poop duty as well. Wolverine swears, then stops. Kitty’s on a date with who?

The roof terrace of a fancy restaurant. Kitty and Bobby sit there stiffly. This is weird, isn’t it? Kitty asks. Bobby remarks that the other day his teenage self travelled through time and is now living two doors down from him. Exactly what about their lives isn’t weird? But that’s X-Men weird, she explains. This is real people sorta weird. He doesn’t even know what that means anymore. Can’t they just have a nice dinner and enjoy themselves?

Does he think the school is okay? Kitty suddenly wonders. For some reason, Rachel didn’t wanna tell her who was watching things tonight. Maybe she should give them a call to make sure everything is all right.

Are those sirens? Bobby asks. Maybe he’d better ice up just for a minute to make sure it’s being handled. There goes Spider-Man and Daredevil. And some girl with pink hair dressed like the Thing. Maybe they could use… Just one call, Kitty decides.

Rachel telepathically shouts at them to remind them they are on a date. So stop worrying about the rest of the world for five minutes and have a good time!

They sink down and admit she’s right. No super heroing and no school talk. Let’s just sit like normal people. Silence ensues as they don’t know what to talk about. He’s starting to see her point, he admits. This is definitely weird.

Idie enters the sickbay, where the comatose Broo is lying. She has her arm full of snacks, all his favorites: Tofu bacon tacos, raw beets and a strawberry soy shake. She suggests while he eats she can read the day’s homework assignments. He’ll love it. Dr. McCoy gave them eighteen pages of science worksheets. Maybe later she can help him practice his accordion or some new Yoyo tricks or… or they never got to have that dance, did they? All he has to do is wake up. Just open his eyes. She’ll be there, waiting.

Quentin walks past the room and hears her.

The Peak, headquarters of SWORD, Earth orbit:
Triumphantly, Abigail Brand announces she had to call in some serious favors but she got the night off. Even if Ego the Living Planet comes by to make out with the moon, they will not be disturbed. So why doesn’t he move that big blue butt over and they get to exploring the new look him?

When she sees Beast is engrossed with TV, she tells him this isn’t her idea of erotic cinema. Namely Brood autopsy videos. Hank reminds her he has a comatose Brood child at school. There has to be a clue somewhere to saving him!

Pouring herself a glass of wine, Abigail muses that the saddest part is this isn’t even the first time she’s been stood up for a Brood.

Somewhere in a snowy wilderness, Kade Kilgore takes aim with a sniper rifle and fires. His teacher, Sabretooth praises him. They’ll make a gunner out of him yet. That’s five for him, Kade triumphs. Sabretooth better get a move one if he hopes to catch up or else he’ll owe him half a million. He hates to lose a bet, Sabretooth replies, but he’s supposed to meet Mystique in Thailand in a few hours. And one doesn’t want to share a bed with an angry shapeshifter. Kade protests. He is just getting warmed up. He thought they’d be doing this all night! Sabretooth laughs. He may be the little Lord Fauntleroy of the Hellfire Club but there’s still a lot he’s got to learn. For starters they need to get him a girlfriend. They leave behind the man Kade shot.

Outside the school grounds, Quentin Quire faces a newly built memorial statue of Charles Xavier. Quentin calls him a crazy old man and curses this stupid school. It’s gonna be the death of them all someday, isn’t it? So why the hell is he still here?

She’s been asking herself the same question all night, comes a voice from the shadows. Quentin turns around to see teenage Jean Grey. She thinks she finally found her answer. She’s staying until she’s saved the world. Sounds simple enough, right? How about him? She’s Jean Grey. She didn’t get his name.

Quentin stammers dumbly, forgetting his own name for a moment. He silently decides he has to score with her. Jean grins and telepathically tells him her reason sounds a bit more noble than his. Quentin swears. She isn’t supposed to be telepathic already.

Jean admits it’s actually kind of refreshing to have someone here look at her like she’s a real person for a change. She’s sick of people gawking like she’s some sort of museum exhibit come to life. Quentin sits down next to her. In their defense, they did that even before she died. Jean rolls her eyes. Even more to look forward to. No offense, but this future of their sucks! She’s preaching to the converted, he assures her.

So… he didn’t hear a ‘no’ in there… She didn’t hear a question, Jean shoots back. Wanna come back to his room and— No. Fair enough, he can wait. He’s awfully confident, Jean remarks. Look around, he tells her. This is the X-Men, if there’s one thing they do more often than time travel and come back from the dead it’s randomly hooking up with each other.

At the restaurant, Bobby sighs. This just isn’t working, is it? Kitty still finds it preferable to her last date. But that one involved the Phoenix. He was on the Champions, Bobby announces. Trust him, he knows when something isn’t working. He can’t even make her laugh. Without that, he’s got nothing.

It’s not him, Kitty muses, it’s just with everything that’s happened lately… It feels almost wrong to laugh. Charles Xavier was the smartest, most caring man she’s ever known and one of his students killed him, so all she keeps thinking is what the hell chance do they have? They were both once the youngest of the X-Men, but God help her, they are supposed to be the grown-ups now. And not only that. For the students to even have a shot at making it, they have to be better than everyone who’s ever come before them. She just doesn’t find anything funny about that.

She’s kidding, right? He laughs his head off every time someone calls him ‘Professor Iceman’. He never imagined himself a father and now he has two dozen super-powered teens to look after. He supposes he could just stand around navel-gazing, moaning about how awful the world is. God knows they’ve done their share of that over the years. But what good will that do the kids? What good does it do him? Being grown up doesn’t mean being endlessly morose. And having fun isn’t just for five-year-olds! The day he can’t laugh at how ridiculous this all is while still loving every single second of it is the day he walks away and finds a new line of work! But… he doesn’t know where any of that leaves him and her. Maybe this date was a huge mistake. Maybe they just know each other too well to be anything but friends. If that’s the case they should probably just call it a—

Kitty gets up. He is absolutely right, she tells him. Their lives are ridiculous, so why are they trying to sit here and pretend they are normal? When she needs to get away she likes to go for a swim. Would he like to go swimming with her? He didn’t bring any trunks, he stutters. Just take her hand, Kitty orders and phases the two of them downward through the concrete. This is what she calls swimming, she laughs.

In the “Danger Room,” Wolverine takes out several tentacles. Storm joins him, wondering why there is a Danger Room in the showers. The school is more like real life, he tells her as the session begins again. Here the danger’s everywhere.

She tells him it’s not the danger he’s built here that impresses her the most. It’s the hope. And what could be more dangerous than that? he asks. As endearing as it is to see him so frightened of this place, she smiles, she’s going to need him to begin working through this. Ain’t she heard? he asks. He’s the babysitter. He orders the Danger Room to maximum.

As the attacks pile up, Storm asks if he is trying to scare her off. Just making sure she didn’t get too rusty out there on Cyclops island, he retorts as they fight back to back. She muses it’s strange that being in a Danger Room reminds her of happier times. It makes her miss poor Charles and Kurt even more. And she knows even he misses Scott. Though he’d never dare admit it.

If by “miss” she means “would love to stab in the face,” then yes. She smirks that she remembers they did more in the Danger Room than just fight. She teases him when he blushes. Does she come down here to torture him? He gets enough of that as it is.

Storm explains that Kitty came to see her this morning. Given her newfound responsibilities looking after their time-displaced visitors, she’s asked Storm to assume her headmistress duties. What’s her answer? Logan asks. Before she tells him, she’s going to need him to do her a favor. Do these showers work?

Okay, just hold tight, Kitty orders Bobby. They stand on a roof somewhere, waiting for a tornado to come. Aren’t there easier ways to save someone’s house? he asks. Sure, but not as much fun! she replies and phases them and the house.

Later, in a desert, they give the people something they never see – ice.

Eventually, they return to the school. That was seriously the greatest date ever! Bobby admits. Kitty agrees. Which is why she doesn’t want him to hate her for what she is about to say. Maybe they should leave things like this. One perfect date. This is as good as this is ever gonna get, right? They are X-Men. They don’t get to grow up and live happily ever after. Maybe not, he replies, but at least they are growing up.

In the showers, Ororo tells Logan she needs two favors. First, she needs him to stop being afraid he’ll break those kids and get in there and help them the way only he can.

When he expresses uncertainty, she orders him to shut up and do her the other favor before she changes her mind. He slices off her hair and what’s left is a mohawk. She kisses him.

Outside on the school grounds, Kitty and Bobby kiss as well. Too much damn kissing, Toad mutters. He liked it better when they were all trying to kill each other!

Crying, Idie turns away from Broo, begging him again to come back. Suddenly, he gets up. She smiles happily until the moment he growls and attacks her.

Characters Involved: 

Angel, Beast, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, Rachel Grey, Storm, Wolverine (All X-Men)
Broo, Kid Omega, Oya (X-Men students)
Marvel Girl (Original X-Men from the past)
Warbird II

Commander Brand


Black Panther

Kade Kilgore

Story Notes: 

The marriage of Storm and the Black Panther was annulled because of the events in the Avengers versus X-Men limited series. They decided to stay friends in A + X #3.

The young original X-Men came from the past in the All-New X-Men series.

The girl with the pink hair is Pixie.

Beast’s new look is explained in All-New X-Men #5.

Kitty had a date from hell with a Phoenix-powered Colossus in issue #14.

Xavier died in Avengers versus X-Men #11.

Kitty’s new duties are taking care of the time-displaced original X-Men.

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