Deadpool (2nd series) #63 / Deadpool : Funeral For A Freak #3

Issue Date: 
April 2002
Story Title: 
Funeral For A Freak - part 3 : Showtime !
Staff: 

Frank Tieri and Buddy Scalera (writers), Georges Jeanty (penciler), Wong, Vines and Newbold (inkers), Color Dojo (colors), Dave Sharpe (letters), Mike Raicht (assistant editor), Mike Marts (editor), Joe Quesada (editor in chief), Bill Jemas (president)

Brief Description: 

Weasel takes Deadpool and his homless friends to his secret base, and gets him to remember his past. Alerted by the news about multiple Deadpool sighting across town, Deadpool wants to kill these imposters. Meanwhile T-Ray hires killer Deadpool to assassinate media Deadpool while he hosts the VTV awards later that night. It all comes together during the awards,. As maniac Deadpool is among the audience, and heroic Deadpool saves media Deadpool from killer Deadpool’s bullet. A big fight starts until one of the Backseat Boys, annoyed that the Deadpools disturbed their performance, takes a hostage. None of the Deadpool can act, but Scuzzy one of Deadpool’s homeless friends, vomits on the Backseat Boy from behind and this distracted he is easily disarmed. He finally faints when being threatened by maniac Deadpool. The audience cheers at the Deadpools who decide to form a team. Suddenly the wall cracks in and T-Ray arrives, ready to fight.

Full Summary: 

Weasel has taken Deadpool and his homeless friends to one of Deadpool’s bases. He has given him his costume, but looking in the mirror Deadpool still doesn’t remember his past. He only thinks that he looks like a Spiderman rip-off. While the homeless are inspecting the place, Weasel opens a box that holds some of Deadpool’s trophy’s : Dr. Doom’s face mask, Amelia Erhart’s pilot licence, Blind Al’s ulcer pills, a Yoda puppet stolen from Mark Hamill and even King Pin’s underwear. But nothing rings a bell. Then Deadpool gets aware of a picture of him and Siryn. Her he remembers !, and then Scuzzy vomits again, this time on the photo. Fully remembering himself again, Deadpool hits Scuzzy on the head and makes a nasty comment about the homeless people smelling. Meanwhile Popeye is watching TV, and suddenly there is a trailer for tonights VTV awards, hosted by none other than Deadpool (the media one). Deadpool gets annoyed that somebody has taken his name and prepares to leave, as the news mentioned yet another “new and improved Deadpool“ who has been attacking fast food chains. Video footage of the maniac Deadpool is shown. Deadpool wonders that if the the news call this one new and improved he really needs to work on his image.
A few guys calling themselves Pistachio Boys are about to break into a warehouse. They want to steal the pistachio nuts stored inside and make a fortune by cornering the market on pistachios. Just as they have opened the door somebody approaches from behind. It’s killer Deadpool, who shoots all of them stating “I hate pistachios“. He leave the dark alley, thinking that Pistachio Boys, or P-Boys, would have been a dumb name anyway and if he hadn’t killed them, somebody else would. Suddenly a limo stops next to him, and the person in the back says that he has been looking for him all night. He offeres him one million bucks. T-Ray is the person in the limo, and the job is to assasinate a person named Deadpool while he is hosting the VTV awards. Hearing that the intended target has the same name as himself, killer Deadpool takes the assignment for free.
The real Deadpool and his friends have prepared themselves to go into battle, wanting to kill anybody who falsely claims to be Deadpool. Yet looking at Duke, Popeye and Scutty who ary carrying a broom, pipes and trashbin lids, Deadpool thinks they are doomed. Weasel cheers him up, they have been through worse, and it’s not as hard as coming back from the dead.
Later the VTV awards start. A female reporter stands outside, informing her audience on the celebrities that are just arriving.There are the Backseat Boys, but the reporter warns that they shouldn’t get too close to a radiator, as they are so shiny and clean, they have to be manufactured plastic. Next up is Alostmi Keys, who probably is a one-hit wonder and will be gone next year. Of course there is also the rap act “Scary, Angry Fellaz !“. Then she presents tonight’s host : Deadpool (the media one). The crowd cheers.
From a nearby roof, the real Deadpool and his friends observe the events. Deadpool asks why somebody cool couldn’t have picked up the name Deadpool, he thinks it’s time to regain his honor, dignity, self respect and most importantly ... He can’t finish his sentence as he is being vomited on by Scuzzy once more. They fail to notice that they are too being watched, as the heroic Deadpool is standing on another rooftop behind them.
The VTV award show starts with media Deadpool announcing the performace of the Backseat Boys, the blandest band in America. Above the stage, killer Deadpool is aiming his weapon at the media Deadpool while maniac Deadpool is in the crowd asleep, totally bored by the boyband’s performace. Right then the real Deadpool and his friends bursts in, and while media Deadpool is puzzled, having thought the real Deadpool to be dead, killer Deadpool fires his weapon. The bullet is on its way, but before it hits media Deadpool, heroic Deadpool jumps in between. The bullet bounces of his chest and heads into the audience, where it scratches maniac Deadpool’s head, waking him up. Deadpool is annoyed by the sight of yet another imitator. The Backseat Boys stop performing, nobody is looking at them anymore, how can that be ? They are so cool and original.
Killer Deadpool leaps onto media Deadpool intending to kill him with fists if bullets won’t do, and heroic Deadpool says “ Evildoer, cease this action ! No good will result from this ! “ Maniac Deadpool joins the action, as does the boyband and the audience. Deadpool tells Weasel that he thinks he is responsible for all this, yet he likes it and now wants to kill some Deadpools. Yet all of a sudden the battle is uinterrupted by a voice saying “ Nobody move or she’s dead “.
The lead singer of the Backseat Boys has taken the female reporter hostage. She begs to Deadpool to save her, but also worries about the camera filming all this from the wrong angle. The Backseat Boy tells her that it doesn’t matter, she isn’t looking good in that outfit anyway. The girl bursts into tears finding that he is right. She says that she is looking like a Jersey Girl and deserves to die. Deadpool tries to calm the situation, saying that nobody has to die, but the Backseat Boy is mad, the Deadpools stopped the music ! Meanwhile Scuzzy and Duke have sneaked up from behind, and as his eight minutes are over, Scuzzy vomits on Backseat Boy and his hostage. Distracted, the singer is easy prey and killer Deadpool shoots the gun out of his hand. The girl cries for somebody to shoot her, as she got vomited on while being filmed.The backseat Boy fears about the effects that the drama will have on his career, but media Deadpool tells him not to worry, it was already over a long time ago. Finally the Backseat Boy faints when maniac Deadpool approaches him with his usual “No Pickles“ remark.
The audience cheers at how the five Deadpools handled the situation, standing a little bit apart, Weasel and the homless people recognize that they look like some sort of team, as they all their costumes are based on Deadpool elements. The five Deadpools pick up that thought and decide they should try out banding together, only the real Deadpool thinks this is all going too fast, maybe they should get to know each other first. Heroic Deadpool finds this a stellar idea and says his name is Deadpool. Killer Deadpool introduces himself as Deadpool and media Deadpool tells the others to simply call himself Deadpool. Maniac Deadpool says “No pickles“, and the real Deadpool suggests that they should call themselves Team Deadpool. Right on cue for a superhero team coming together, the wall is cracking behind them and the first villain arrives to fight them. It’s T-Ray, who comments that the last time he saw (the real) Deadpool, he was desecrating his tombstone.

Characters Involved: 

Deadpool

Weasel

heroic Deadpool

killer Deadpool

media Deadpool

maniac Deadpool

Duke, Popeye, Scuzzy (all homeless people)

T-Ray

The Pistachio Boys
The Backseat Boys

Alostmi Keys

The Scary, Angry Fellaz !

Story Notes: 
Issue Information: 
Written By: