The X-Men are gathered together as one of their brethren is ready to be lowered into the ground. Those assembled shift their glances downward as Deadpool in a priest’s frock reminisces over the events of Second Coming and how his old friend died trying to save the world… as usual.
Later, after the casket has been placed and everyone else moved on, Deadpool glances down into Cable’s open grave. For once he’s almost speechless. He just doesn’t know what to say as it all feels so anti-climactic.
Reaching into his satchel Wade pulls out a large bottle of liquor. He tells Nate he’s tempted to dig up his metal arm, seeing as that’s all that’s left of him, drive out to the desert, hit a few cheap bars, try to get it lucky and then bury it under a Joshua Tree all Grand Theft Parsons-style.
However, Deadpool reasons, society would probably think that creepy and the voice inside his head agrees. Instead Wade lifts up the bottom of his mask and chugs some of that alcohol. He then tips the bottle over and drains some of the contents onto Nate’s casket. “Here’s to you, ol’ buddy…” he says, but then turns the bottle right side up, deciding Nate’s passing deserves more than just prayers muttered over his metal arm. He drops the bottle onto the casket, a wide smile breaking over his masked face. He knows just what to do.
(A map ranging from North America to Europe appears below this scene. On the map is a simple bi-plane carrying Deadpool and heading eastward. There is a line of red dashes trailing from the back of plane to North America, a scene reminiscent of one you would find in an Indiana Jones movie.)
Deadpool comes skipping out of the airport, his suitcase on wheels following him into the air with every leap. He turns and begins walking the streets, his brain filling up with memories of Cable’s rule of this country only a few short years ago.
The streets are desolate, garbage strewn all over the place, a few rats here and there. Deadpool comes across two children playing with a beheaded doll. Nearby, some unexploded ordnance leans against the alley wall. He remembers Cable’s attempts at creating a utopia here, until he had to leave and take that brat (Hope) out into the future.
Wade stretches his arms out wide as if he’s about to give the biggest hug he can. He approaches the kids playing with the doll and yells, “These were his people!” The children run off in terror.
Cable and Deadpool walk through a very similar garbage-strewn street. Deadpool’s in the middle of asking Cable why he didn’t choose a place like Hawaii to lead. Staying serious Nathan explains that if he can stabilize this country it will be a force of change throughout Europe, and then beyond. Deadpool still argues Cable should have went with Catalina Island, with its close proximity to the coast where he can bodyslide over and meet with his entertainment lawyers and then hop over to the Coffee Bean on Beverly Drive.
However, Deadpool admits he came to understand what Nate was trying to do and that he cared for these people. So Deadpool thinks he should unite the people of Rumekistan in a three day-long festival of music, food and fun. He even wants to start it off with a museum in honor of their national hero.
“We could call it Cablepalooza! Or maybe Nathanstock!” he cries aloud scaring the nearby citizens who were already staring at him in fear. The oblivious Deadpool doesn’t notice what his actions are doing as his imagination conceives the wonders of an amusement park. “You survived a battle to the death with Apocalypse… but can you survive the ride?” he thinks to himself while envisioning a huge rollercoaster outfitted with a tunnel resembling Apocalypse’s head, mouth open wide.
The next image that pops into ‘Pool’s scrambled brain is a shooting gallery. He pictures children trying to handle giant guns bolted to a counter while firing at targets for prizes. This amuses Wade as Nate really loved his guns.
Last into his mind comes the Nate-themed restaurant. Deadpool thinks the waiters should be dressed like Cable and should serve up only the finest in techno-organic fare. Deadpool scrunches his brow realizing just how awesome his ideas are. His only problem is finding the right wheel to grease so he can get this whole thing going.
Presidential office, thirty-seven minutes later
Deadpool stands in the office of the President. He’s offering him buckets of grease, literally, but the president assures Deadpool he’s never heard of “Kable” or “Nadine Summer.” Wade sits down in a nearby chair and folds his hands behind the back of his head. He chocks up the official’s lack of cooperation as a bargaining tactic. He promises he can bring attention to the obscure former Soviet nation, suggesting he could book Lady Gaga.
The President has heard enough and presses a button underneath his desk. Guards swarm the room, some with weapons drawn. Deadpool’s told to freeze or perish, but he thinks it’s just another bargaining tactic, a ballsy one at that. He figures it wouldn’t look good if he killed everyone so he decides to play it cool.
The President gets up from his chair and in his native language orders the guards to take the “spy” to the detention center. Deadpool thinks the Prez is trying to be slick speaking in Rumekistanian, but Wade believes he is fluent. His inner voice disagrees with him, but to prove his point Deadpool translates the President’s orders as: “Take this squirrel to the William Shatner Festival and feed him gravy.”
Reaching into his side holsters Deadpool removes his handguns and places them down on the President’s desk as a sign of goodwill. Immediately after, the guards beat him to the ground with batons and electrically charged staffs.
It’s at this point Deadpool’s inner voice tells us, the comic reader, the reason why this whole “Cable” thing is a surprise to these people. As it turns out the boundary lines in Eastern Europe are redrawn rather quickly and Deadpool’s actually in the wrong country. The reason the voice hasn’t told Deadpool this is because, quite frankly, he wouldn’t believe it and would just dismiss it as another voice in his head.
As the troops drag a barely conscious Deadpool out of the office and toward the detention center he mentions his offer of Lady Gaga again. Nobody answers him and as he begins to slip into unconsciousness he’s reminded of the first time he met Nate, and as he recalls it was love at first sight.
Via internal singing Deadpool recaps the fight he and Cable got into when they first encountered each other. He was getting his butt handed to him by the Askani-Son and resorted to throwing a knife into his thigh. When he leaped at him to finish the job Cable landed a powerful uppercut that made him see stars.
Speaking of, the stars start to fade away as Wade wakes up in a cell with three other prisoners standing over him. As he rubs his head in an effort to shake the cobwebs Deadpool asks how long he’s been out. Speaking in his native tongue one of the prisoners explains he was brought in last night and was singing something in his sleep. Deadpool thinks he was hit harder than he thought because now he can’t understand a word of Rumekistan.
With the men just standing there looking at him Deadpool pleads with them to be happy. He grabs the nearest guy by the collar and brings him face to face. He reminds him their former leader, Cable, knew all about the power of working together to fight impossible odds.
There’s a huge battle going on and Cable bodyslides right into the middle of it. Surprisingly, Deadpool bodyslides right next to him. At first Cable is confused how Deadpool followed him there, but quickly realizes that when he absorbed Wade’s essence their DNA blended so now whenever he bodyslides… but Deadpool finishes the sentence for him, “I go too?”
The pair take off running barely dodging an incoming artillery round. Body parts go flying as the explosion lands just behind them. Deadpool jokes that with this bodysliding thing he’ll never have to fly coach again.
Deadpool tells the prisoners he and Cable were like peas and carrots. The man with the scraggly beard finally speaks up (in English) and says he thinks he remembers Cable. This excites the excitable Deadpool. As the man describes Cable he says he had blonde hair. When Deadpool corrects him the scraggly-bearded man quickly agrees. The old man then says Cable was his personal hero since he was a small boy. The short-haired man behind him holds up his hand and says, “Me, too!”
Pumping his fist into the air Deadpool is so enthused to have finally found Nate’s people. The bearded man asks the short-haired one who the Nate guy is. The short-haired man tells him to shut up, as this crazy man could be there last chance to get out of there.
Sure enough, Deadpool calls the guards over using a sing-songy voice. When the two guards open the door to the cell they find Deadpool standing over the badly contorted bodies of his three cellmates. The guards are shocked and disturbed by the sight, so Deadpool jokes for them not to get bent out of shape.
With his rifle pointed at Deadpool one of the guards motions the Merc with a Mouth to the wall. The guard keeps asking over and over again what Deadpool did. Deadpool’s upset because he can’t understand his captor, though he still swears he’s fluent in Rumekistani.
All goes according to plan as the distracted guards are ambushed by the “beaten” cellmates. “Viva La Rumekistan!” Deadpool shouts as he turns around and takes down the guard with the rifle in his back.
Deadpool and his new crew escape the building and rush through an open section of fence. One of the escapees tries telling Deadpool of a planned invasion come dawn, but Deadpool doesn’t understand him and takes off in another direction. He tells his new-found friends that he has a memorial concert to plan and complains that the Lady Gaga wench hasn’t been returning his texts.
Making his way under a bridge Deadpool comes across a woman huddled down near some steps with a crying infant in her lap. Deadpool comes over and starts making goofy faces trying to keep the kid from crying. The mother is scared at first, but then the baby responds well and starts to smile. He starts saying things like, “woobsie floobsie nanny nanny poo poo face”, which prompts Wade’s internal dialogue to tell him he’s finally speaking fluent Rumekistan.
This baby stuff reminds Deadpool of when Cable reverted into an infant during House of M. Deadpool being Deadpool he recalls wiping Nate’s nose, changing poopy diapers and being puked on by the little rascal.
Leaving the woman and her soothed child Deadpool decides to find a bar to drown his sorrows in. It doesn’t take long before his mission is accomplished and Deadpool is knocking them back (even though they taste like airplane fuel). With a slur Deadpool looks around at his fellow patrons and asks if any of them remembers their fallen hero “Nashan Dayshring Summas.” With empty glasses littering the bar in front of him Deadpool passes out, his head resting on the bar. The barkeep heads to a nearby phone while keeping an eye on his newest customer.
Deadpool is in the midst of trying to arrest Hercules and Captain America for failure to register with the new Superhero Registration Act when Cable attacks. Deadpool opens fire with a volley of tranquilizer darts, however they ricochet off Nate’s t-o and most of them come back and hit him in the face and upper chest.
The Merc with a Mouth quickly succumbs to the tranqs leaving Captain America to question what to do with him. Cable suggests duct tape, lots of duct tape, saying they need one roll for his mouth alone.
end flashback dream
A large balding man comes running into the president’s office. He starts yammering on about a phone call he received from his cousin about some stranger who wandered into his bar. The President says if this is a joke he’s going to be really pissed, but the plump man says it’s not, that it’s the prisoner with the mask and that he’s escaped.
The president stands to his feet in a fit of rage. How did he escape, he yells, but before he can get an answer another man runs into the room and says they’ve intercepted a huge shipment of boxes from the U.S. addressed to a Mr. Wade Wilson. The President demands to know what’s in the boxes addressed to their former captive.
Singing and leaping as he exits the bar Deadpool is as refreshed as ever. When a half-dozen sighted lasers light up his head and upper torso his mood is ruined. He whips out his swords and asks who wants some. His response is volley of gunfire that tears him up.
After being bandaged Deadpool is brought before the president. His sits cross-legged in a chair, sipping on some tea. The president stands in front of him and says they’ve opened his package. “Not on a first date you haven’t…” Deadpool starts, but the president interrupts barking they’ve found his shipment.
In a nearby room, said shipment contains weapons, ammo and pouches galore. The president says it’s clear Wade’s a terrorist and will be executed as an enemy of the state. An incredulous Deadpool points out it’s the gear of their former leader, Nathan Summers. He explains he had the stuff sent there for display in a museum to be erected in his honor.
“I’m no terrorist,” he finally shouts into the President’s face, and then sits down calmly as he recalls this country’s former terrorist ways.
sewer beneath Barjnov, capitol city of Rumekistan
Deadpool and Cable are up against Cable’s former group of mercenaries, the Six Pack. They were sent on a mission to destabilize Rumekistan, paid to shame Cable in the eyes of the world. Deadpool was secretly part of the Pack and recalls shooting Nathan in the heat of the moment.
However, Nate eventually forgave him figuring he couldn’t be mad at Deadpool for being who he is. Though, with a forceful telekinetic push he sends Deadpool skyward telling him to get the hell out of Rumekistan and never return.
The president is still angry, but is open to an explanation. He tells Deadpool once again he doesn’t know who Cable is. He then asks if he’s sure he’s in the right place. Deadpool, arms folded behind his head, assures the president he can read a map and says he spent a lot of time in the sewers of Barjnov and recognizes the stench.
The president walks over to a large map conveniently located on a nearby wall. He admits that this once was Rumekistan, however as of a few months ago, Old Rumekistan’s borders are about 450 miles to the north. Wade hangs his head in disbelief. His internal dialogue won’t stop laughing.
New Rumekistan’s president continues the geography lesson telling Wade about an impending coup by so-called freedom fighters from the east. He tells Deadpool his spies have sent him reports of a mighty invasion force preparing to strike.
“Save the baby… Save the baby…” Deadpool says over and over again, partially ignoring the president, his thoughts going to the baby he met on the street not long before.
Which reminds Deadpool of the time he and Cable saved baby Hope from the hospital in Alaska. Cable and Hope were hunkered down by an ambulance taking fire from the Purifiers when Deadpool’s timely arrival allowed them to escape. Deadpool’s inner voice then makes fun of the fact that he’s flashbacking to events that occurred in the previous issue. They argue back and forth until the flashback ends.
Yet another man comes running into the president’s office with word that the invasion has begun. Deadpool gets up from his seat and makes his way over to the dozens of packages addressed to him. He rips them open and starts pulling out weapons and belts and pouches. He even opens one containing a white wig and places it on his head. When he’s finished he looks like an old school Cable wearing a Deadpool costume. He proudly declares himself Cable-Pool, and when his internal voice tells him that’s messed up, Wade points out that it’s better than “Dead-Nate.”
Deadpool takes off, busting through the front door and into the mayhem. Machine guns blazing he takes cover behind the skeletal remains of a burned out car. He then speeds out into the open killing dozens of men in his wake. He even sends some rounds through a man wearing a Thor helmet.
As Deadpool continues the rampage he begins to realize what Nate was about, not just the violence, but about living larger than life, reaching his potential as a mutant and forcing others to reach their potential too, all the while keeping his eye on the world, past, present and future. To Wade, all this metaphysical hoo-ha comes down to one simple truth Nate taught him, “Guy with the bigger gun wins.”
When Deadpool returns from his mind jaunt he’s standing atop several dozen dead bodies. He asks if it’s all over and his inner voice tells him it is. He asks if they’re all dead and his inner voice concurs. “Ick,” Deadpool says as he leaps down to the ground amidst the blood and the guts. He then takes off running saying this was all for Nate, since he always loved a good fight.
It’s daytime and the streets are lined with cheering citizens throwing confetti and releasing balloons into the air. As thanks for Deadpool saving them they’ve agreed to hold a celebration for their national hero… Nathan Summers. Leading the parade is Deadpool still in his Cable gear.
Later that night, Lady Gaga performs the tribute concert in front of thousands of people. Wade, still wearing the wig and the pouches, dances on stage as Gaga belts out the lyrics.
His head lowered, a solemn Wade stands in front of Nathan’s burial marker. He’s finishing up his fantastical story of his adventures in New Rumekistan. His final words… “And you were there, too, Nate. You were there too.”