Exiles (1st series) #69

Issue Date: 
November 2005
Story Title: 
World Tour: House of M - part 1

Tony Bedard (writer), Paul Pelletier (pencils), Rick Magyar (inks), Wil Quintana (colors), Dave Sharpe (letters), Sean Ryan (assistant editor), Nick Lowe (associate editor), Mike Marts (editor), Joe Quesada (editor-in-chief), Dan Buckley (publisher)

Brief Description: 

The Timebreakers have re-hinged Beak, and he wants to return home, but Heather somehow fails to bring up his home reality on her viewing screens to check if it’s okay to go. Meanwhile, Mimic tries to get rid of his horrible appearance, which he received after mimicking Deadpool’s healing factor. He attempts to mimic Blink’s power in order to get rid of Deadpool’s power, but somehow he is unable. Blink suggests they use the serum on Calvin she got from their earlier mission, but Mimic suggests they wait for it until they discovered the roots of his problem. Heather summons the entire team and thinks she has no choice but to teleport them into Earth-616 blind. Once there, the Exiles discover that Beak’s reality has now completely changed. Mutants have become the majority and humans, who are now referred to as “sapiens,” are the minority. The mutants around them don’t even seem to worry about the patrolling Sentinels, almost as if they see them every day. Beak doesn’t want to waste any more time and go find Angel and his kids. As they go and learn more about the changed world, even that it’s ruled by Magneto and that he’s well-loved, Beak learns that Angel has become a super-model. Thinking she has done it for the kids, the Exiles continue their search. Angel herself enjoys her current status as a celebrity and dances in a nightclub. After taking off, Blunderbuss, the security guard, notices that a strange looking mutant is following her and attacks the guy. Unfortunately, that mutant is the English serial killer known as Mutant X, who completely takes over Blunderbuss’ body. Later, Beak tracks down Angel at her hotel room, but she doesn’t remember him or the fact of them having kids. She even thinks he’s a stalker and ignores Barnell. He walks back to his friends and is desperate to find a way to change the world back like it was, but the other Exiles aren’t so sure if that’s their call to make. Some time later, Angel gets welcomed in her room by Mutant X, who kills Blunderbuss and takes over her body! Enjoying Angel’s body, Mutant X notices the Exiles standing outside, and can taste that they share a secret and promises to find out what that secret is.

Full Summary: 

There is a war being fought right here in America. On one side, there are the mutants. They are super-people who mostly want to get along with the rest of mankind. Such people can be found in a team called the X-Men. On the other side, there are normal humans who try everything to take down those mutants. They create special laws to contain them or even build killer robots like the Sentinels, and send them out to hunt. In return, the X-Men take down those Sentinels trying to make people understand not every mutant is bad, but it doesn’t always work.

Beak knows this. He knows that humans are scared of teenagers who can toss them into orbit or melt their brains. And who can really blame them? Beak admits even he used to be afraid of mutants himself! At least until the day he found out he was a mutant himself. But Barnell did not have a cool power like laser beams or perfect hair. No, he just changed into an actual chicken.

Needless to say, his parents got worried. Luckily, they found a school in upstate New York that specializes in kids with Barnell’s “affliction.” That’s how he got enrolled at the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning. But, even though they were freaks among each other, Beak was stared at. He was placed in Xorn’s Remedial Class, where Barnell eventually met the girl of his dreams: Angel Salvatore. Before long, he and Angel had their own place and six beautiful kids to raise.

It was in that moment that Beak’s life got very weird. Strangers showed up, claiming something was terribly wrong with the world and that they had come to fix it. Those strangers call themselves the Exiles. They travel from dimension to dimension, parallel universe to parallel universe like in that “Sliders” show. Beak learned that there are thousands of alternate Earths out there where surely, he must look better than his current state. The Exiles visit realities headed for disaster and steer them back on track, usually by beating people up like Beak’s home version of the Fantastic Four and Namor.

The Exiles said Beak had to leave his family and join their team. So, he spent the last few months saving one messed-up Earth after another. They fought evil mutants, a bad wizard and even a living planet! One time they even saved the world with a Chinese Danish. But that is all over now, because Beak is quitting this group and is ready to go home again. That is, as soon as they figure out where his world disappeared to!

The Crystal palace…

Heather shows Beak some viewing screens, which prove that his home world simply cannot be found for some reason. Heather apologizes for it, but the temporal scanners just aren’t locking up on Earth-616. Beak panics and wants to know if his reality is at least still there, or if they blew themselves up while he was away. Heather can’t say that for sure until the Timebreakers finish repairing the palace, but they are definitely reading something there. She promises that, if they have to, the team shall teleport in blind and find out by themselves.

As they are guarding the Timebreakers repairing the Crystal, Morph sarcastically transforms into the Timebroker and asks Sabretooth what happened to the good old days when they were given all the answers before going into a mission. Sabretooth angrily reminds Morph that they ended those days. He even believes that once Beak has been brought home, they should keep going right onto Morph’s home and even Mimic’s reality and drop them off as well. Morph refuses, as they can’t just abandon the worlds the Timebreakers doomed. One of the Timebreakers tries to defend itself that they didn’t mean to do that!

Blind tries to calm Sabretooth down, joking that she knows Victor wants Mimic to go home, because he thinks he isn’t good enough for his ‘little girl.’ Creed defends that he doesn’t have to do anything to break up those two. And, he adds, considering Mimic’s state these days, he wonders why they even keep him around.

Later, at the Infirmary…

Blink visits her lover, and is a little disgusted at his appearance. Calvin tries to cheer her up, confident he won’t look like ground chuck much longer. He realizes he looks this way because of the healing factor he mimicked off Deadpool. Though it saved his life, the down- side is that the side effects of the healing factor won’t win him any beauty contests. Blink knows that, and remembers that Heather explained that it’s some sort of auto-immune response that turns Calvin’s skin into scar tissue. Mimic thinks the problem shall be resolved once he mimics Blink’s mutant power as it will displace Deadpool’s. He tries to do that, but for some reason… it doesn’t work?!

Blink wants to know the reason. Mimic reminds Blink that, in order to copy a new power, he has to give up an old one. She remembers. And, Calvin adds, he has always been able to chose which of his powers he gives up. But for some reason, Deadpool’s little curse won’t let go. He thinks that, maybe, it’s resisting his will the way he would fight a disease, but Calvin doesn’t know that for sure. Blink panics if Calvin will be stuck like this forever. Mimic wants to think this through. Blink reminds him she still has the regenerative serum from their last mission.

Mimic fears what shall happen if the serum clears up his skin, and when Deadpool’s healing factor just reasserts itself. Blink mentions they only have one dose of the serum. Calvin suggests they’ll save it after he gets rid of the root of his problem. He jokes that if worse comes to worst, he’ll simply mimic Morph’s power and shape shift his appearance back to normal. Blink doesn’t think that’s funny and wants to cure this for real. Mimic calms Clarice down, reminding her that it doesn’t hurt him or anything. But he doesn’t think that’s the real issue here.

Blink doesn’t care if she’s shallow or not, but knows that if she suddenly had snakes for hair or smelled like rotten meat, Calvin would want her cured as well! Mimic can only agree with that. Heather calls in over intercom, asking the two if they can meet her at the Excursion platform. Mimic confirms, but Blink wants to wait a little. Mimic doesn’t, and suggests they’ll bring Beak home. He knows they can solve this problem as long as they are together. Hesitant, Blink confirms.

The Excursion platform…

Heather notices that Mimic still looks horrible, and had thought he and Blink had figured out how to solve it. Calvin jokes they hit a snag, but thinks it can wait. That’s fine by Heather. She asks if everyone remembers how they were all told they had become “unhinged from time.” Now, the Timebreakers have re-hinged Beak, and he’s back in sync with his native reality and ready to go home. But, for some reason, they still can’t see Earth-616 on the viewing screens. It’s there, but something is preventing clear reception.

She warns the Exiles that they are teleporting in blind. She can keep them from materializing in something solid, but she doesn’t know what will greet them once there. Blink wonders why this particular Earth is always such a pain in the butt. Beak tells everyone they don’t have to come. He thanks them, as they’ve already done enough for him. But he can’t wait any longer, not knowing if his family is safe or not. Mimic cheers him up, as they won’t dump Barnell in the great unknown. Heather teleports them away, wanting the team to contact her with the Tallus as soon as they get there.


A bright light appears. A few moments later, the Exiles land in front of a statue, but… they all feel sick! Everyone throws up, and Morph thinks this was the worst teleport ever. Blink agrees, as that was really wrong. Mimic gets up, wanting to move immediately in case their arrival caught any unwanted attention. Everybody notices noises around them, and stares in front of them as… lots of mutants walk around, freely and don’t seem to be scared of anything!

Looks like they’re not that out of place, after all. Sabretooth takes a look at the statue, and recognizes it as a Sentinel head. He wonders what it’s doing there. Beak doesn’t remember a statue like this ever being in the park. And there weren’t this many mutants either when he left, as everyone kept a low profile. Morph finds a plaque in front of the statue, and reads that it’s in honor of the House of M, in honor of the mutant blood that was spilled during the War. Morph recalls they have been in this reality twice before, but he never heard anything about a “House of M.”

Sabretooth reports this discovery back to Heather. She can hear him, but still fails to see the team on her viewing screens. She and the Timebreakers are trying to boost the team’s signal and will need to extract them. Sabretooth mentions that it sounds like history changed since their last visit. He asks Heather if she can figure out how. She can’t yet, but promises to contact them back once she did.

Times Square, 45 minutes later…

The Exiles have bought a newspaper, and Mimic reads it. Going on context, he would say that “sapien” is what they call non-mutants. And by the look of things with all the many mutants walking around, the sapiens have become the minority. Beak wants to know how things could have changed so fast. Mimic mentions that it looks like Magneto is now the head of state, and even pretty well loved. Beak wants to find Angel and his kids to see if they are okay.

Suddenly, Sentinels fly above them! Everyone panics and Sabretooth thinks that somebody still hates mutants. Mimic asks his friends to wait before attacking, as the crowd around them isn’t even reacting to the Sentinel’s presence. It’s almost as if they see them everyday, like police on patrol. Calvin wonders if Magneto reprogrammed the robots or something. Sabretooth wonders if this could be the first reality that has actually improved.

Beak panics, as he has just found Angel. But, she stands on a huge commercial billboard, and seems to have become a model! Calvin thinks that maybe the picture just looks like Angel. Beak doesn’t think so and wants to know why Angel’s picture is there up on that board. Blink calms him down, thinking it probably just means Angel is doing well. She suggests that they’ll go check Xavier’s school and, if for some reason it appears she has moved, she promises they will find her. Blink agrees, thinking Angel probably did the modeling work for the kids’ sake. He knows she hasn’t found someone else by now. The Exiles all give him the thumbs up, but aren’t really sure.

Downtown, at the Genome nightclub, 11:03 PM…

Blunderbuss, a security guard, refuses to let a few sapiens enter the club as it’s only for mutants, and orders them to leave. Angel arrives, wondering if Blunderbuss is going to send her away as well. Blunderbuss won’t, as, for as far as he is concerned, this club was built for her. Angel jokes around, telling Blunderbuss to keep sweet-talking her, joking one day she might fall for it. Blunderbuss smiles and watches Angel entering the club, telling her not to tease him as it would break all of his seven hearts.

Angel enjoys the party, and dances on until 2:52 PM. She goes back to Blunderbuss and notices him reading a newspaper. She jokes that he better isn’t looking at the want adds, as she will stop coming to the club once he’s gone. Blunderbuss smiles that he’s just looking how his stock are doing. Angel likes hearing the stock remark, smiling that maybe she’ll let him buy her dinner some day after all. She takes off, and warns Angel to be careful on her way home.

Another mutant enters, and Blunderbuss tells him to do the same, as the streets aren’t safe these days. The English mutant thanks the guard, confirming his statement. Blunderbuss is a little bit disgusted at the mutant’s rather ugly appearance, but ignores it. He continues to read his paper, which has an article about a “Mutant X.” Blunderbuss reads that following weeks of denial, police confirm that the desiccated corpses that are turning up in Manhattan are probably the work of Scotland’s infamous serial killer, who is referred to simply as “Mutant X.” Blunderbuss wonders what the paper means by “desiccated”, but then realizes the truth.

He quickly leaves the club, and notices the mutant that left earlier is following Angel! Blunderbuss angrily jumps in front of the mutant, telling the zombie-like man he picked the wrong girl to mess with tonight. He transforms his arms into cannons, and knows that the mutant he is facing is… Mutant X! Mutant X jokes that Blunderbuss can call him whatever he likes, as he doesn’t care. He wants to know what those cannons of his are supposed to do. Blunderbuss fires them, but… Mutant X survives and doesn’t even have a scratch! Blunderbuss panics, as Mutant X prepares himself for his next trick. He leaves his current body. A bright light is seen, and Blunderbuss screams but nobody hears him.

Some time later…

Angel arrives in front of her hotel, and finds Beak waiting for her. But, she doesn’t recognize him and thinks he is a stalking fan and refuses to hand out autographs, as she’s tired. Beak is angry with Angel for being out so late, wondering who is watching the kids at this hour. Angel doesn’t know what’s wrong with Beak, and shouts at him that she would never knock boots with the likes of him, let alone have kids with him! The hotel guard notices the problem and approaches Angel. She tells the guard to call the cops on her “stalker,” and angrily runs into the hotel, leaving Beak behind and alone.

She makes it to her hotel room and can’t believe the stalking thing actually happened. Suddenly, she finds Blunderbuss waiting for her! It’s actually Mutant X in his body, who had thought that a strong body like this would last a little while but it doesn’t, as its already worn thin. Angel doesn’t understand what’s going on, and wants to know why Blunderbuss is talking so weird. “Blunderbuss” tells Angel he needs her. Angel smiles that Blunderbuss knows they are just friends.

Mutant X reaches out to her, stating that Blunderbuss really knew they were just friends. He loved Angel like a sister. But Blunderbuss is gone now, and in a few minutes, Mutant X promises, so shall be Angel!

outside the hotel…

Beak walks back to the other Exiles, who had been hiding in a nearby alley. Blink walks over to him, hading seen that it didn’t go so well. Beak wants to fix this immediately, as he wants to have his kids back! They don’t even exist anymore! He doesn’t care if the rest of the team all love it there, Barnell wants his family back. Sabretooth takes a look at Blink. He recons he would want the same thing if he was in Beak’s shoes, but believes it might not be their call to make. Mimic understands, explaining that, if this change in Beak’s world was somehow meant to be, they might not have the right to change it back. Beak doesn’t care if it’s right or wrong, he will find a way.

Mutant X has discovered the Exiles from watching out of Angel’s hotel room window. He has already left Blunderbuss’ body, which now lies dead on the floor. He has jumped into Angel’s body, and mentions that he thought that becoming a super-model would be the highlight of his day. But, seeing something special like the mutants outside, he can taste how wrong he was. Mutant X can taste that they even seem to share a big secret, which he promises to discover!

Characters Involved: 

Beak, Blink, Mimic, Morph, Sabretooth, Sasquatch (all Exiles)


Mutant X

Angel IV



several mutants on Earth-616 (all unnamed)

several party guests and hotel guard (all unnamed)

characters from her own universe:

female Hulk, Human Torch II, Invisible Woman, Mr. Fantastic (all Fantastic Four)

throughout introduction pages of Earth-616:

Beak, Blink, Namora, Mimic, Morph, Sasquatch (all Exiles)

Beak’s parents (unnamed)

Beak’s and Angel’s children (all unnamed)

Colossus, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Nightcrawler, Storm, Wolverine, Xorn I (all X-Men)

Human Torch II, Invisible Woman, Mr. Fantastic, the Thing (all Fantastic Four)

Namor, the Sub-Mariner

Angel, Basilisk, No-Girl (all Special Class)

Rockslide (all Hellions)


Story Notes: 

This is part of the House of M crossover that continues from the prelude in Excalibur (2nd Series) #13-14. Tie in issues include Spider-Man: House of M #1-5, Iron Man: House of M #1-3, Incredible Hulk (3rd Series) #83-86, Uncanny X-Men #462-465, New X-Men (2nd Series) #16-19, Cable/Deadpool #17, Black Panther (4th Series) #7, Mutopia X #1-5, Wolverine (3rd Series) #33-35, The Pulse #10, The Pulse: House of M Special Edition, Secrets of the House of M, Captain America (5th Series) #10, and New Thunderbolts #11. None of the tie-ins are needed to understand the main story in House of M #1-8.

In earlier issues, the new Avengers and the astonishing X-Men met to discuss the fate of the Scarlet Witch – the powerful daughter of Magneto – after her recent breakdown which resulted in the death of some heroes. After that battle, Magneto learned of his daughter’s actions, and took her back to his island of Genosha, so that his friend, Professor Charles Xavier, could take care of her. However, this was easier said than done and Wanda kept losing control of reality by the day. When the heroes and mutants had their meeting, Quicksilver, the son of Magneto, was also present. Hating the fact that the Avengers might agree to kill Wanda as the only way to deal with the problem, he ran back to his father and warned him to do something. When the Avengers and the X-Men arrived on Genosha, they found nothing. Magneto, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch had vanished. On arrival, Xavier vanished as well. On that moment, the entire world suddenly changed completely. [Avengers (1st series) #503, Excalibur (2nd series) #14, House of M #1]

This issue finally reveals Beak’s parents (though they are unnamed) and how he became a mutant, thanks to the introduction pages of this issue. Beak fell in love with Angel in New X-Men #131, though she originally only kissed him because of a wager. Their love grew, especially when they both became students of the Xavier Institute’s “Special Class,” which indeed was taught by the first Xorn. Their children were all born in New X-Men #141.

The Exiles fought Earth-616 versions of the Fantastic Four and Namor in Exiles #69. The battle resulted in Beak joining up with the Exiles, as thanks to his meddling the time stream became a little unhinged. To restore order, Nocturne chose to remain on Beak’s home planet. They fought a version of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants throughout Exiles #50-51 and Ego #53. They saved the world with a Danish in Exiles #54 and fought the evil wizard Kulan Gath in Exiles #55-57. Namora was killed by Hyperion in Exiles #64.

As the story begins, a viewing screen reveals that the female Hulk of the former Weapon X team has been send home, and was part of her universe’s Fantastic Four as a replacement for the Thing. Earth-616 She-Hulk became a temporarily replacement for Ben Grimm after the first Secret Wars was over, and he decided to remain there to think things over until his return home.

As the Exiles teleport on the now-altered Earth-616, they get sick after the bad teleport. As Morph quotes “Worst. Teleport. Ever,” he is seen shape shifting in Jeff Albertson, a.k.a the Comic Book Guy, who is a character from the Simpsons cartoon show who’s catch phrase is “Worst. Episode. Ever.”
The “War” that’s being mentioned on the Sentinel statue when the Exiles teleport on Earth-616, refers to the Mutant-Human War. The Mutant-Human War took place before the House of M storyline began, and the end of it resulted in Magneto gaining the power he has now. Of course, as later revealed, the War never really happened and was a mere construct of the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver’s imaginations. P>
The Exiles really have visited Earth-616 twice before this issue. The first time was throughout Exiles #28-30, and another time in Exiles #46-48.
When Mimic is reading a newspaper and learning about the House of M world, an article above Mutant X shows a picture of Dr. Doom. That picture is literally taken over from the cover of Fantastic Four: House of M #2.

First appearance of Blunderbuss. So far known, he didn’t exist prior the House of M began.

Like a few other earlier deceased Earth-616 characters, this issue reveals the resurrection of Kevin MacTaggert, a.k.a Mutant X, who is also known as Proteus. He originally had died in X-Men (1st series) #128 after Colossus punched his metal fist into him. Later, he was temporarily resurrected in Uncanny X-Men Annual #15 and bounded with Piecemeal, but later chose to end his own life in X-Factor Annual #6.

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