Wolverine and the X-Men (1st series) #7

Issue Date: 
May 2012
Story Title: 
Mutatis Mutandis – Conclusion: It ain’t easy bein’ Brood
Staff: 

Jason Aaron (writer), Nick Bradshaw (penciler), Walden Wong, Norman Lee & Nick Bradshaw (inkers), Justin Ponsor (colors), Rob Steen (letterer), Nick Bradshaw & Morry Hollowell (cover), Irene Y. Lee (production), Jordan D. White (assistant editor), Daniel Ketchum (associate editor), Nick Lowe (editor), Axel Alonso (editor-in-chief), Joe Quesada (chief creative officer), Dan Buckley (publisher), Alan Fine (Exec. Publisher)

Brief Description: 

The mysterious alien professor, Xanto Starblood, wants to kill Broo, because he fears a pacifist Brood would upset evolution. Broo tries to reason for his life until Kitty and the Bamfs attack. The Bamfs, which may be something else as Starblood hints, teleport him up in the air while Kitty tries to get Broo away, which is difficult due to the fighting going on in her body where a Brood-possessed Kid Gladiator is fighting the X-Men. Beast finally manages to blow up the Brood eggsac and, soon afterwards, Kitty vomits the X-Men out. When Starblood attacks her again, Broo goes berserk and assaults him, until the X-Men manage to calm him down. SWORD takes over everything afterwards. Broo feels dejected. Kitty feels ashamed about her inability to grow up and kisses Iceman. And Rachel and Husk get Krakoa to grow them diamonds which solves the school’s money troubles. In thea meantime, on Planet , Wolverine and Quentin Quire fight the casino personnel and lose the money. Worse, while fleeing, Wolverine is shot by a strange weapon that mangles the adamantium bones of his legs.

Full Summary: 

At the Jean Grey School, the mysterious alien has captured Broo, who demands what he did wrong. He was born, the alien replies, that was enough. But he is here to remedy that. Broo refuses to fight. That is not who he is. He knows, the stranger agrees darkly. Broo continues he would at least like the opportunity to reason for his life. The alien sits him down, admitting he enjoys a healthy debate. But Broo will not stay him from his chosen course of action.

Who sent him to kill him? Broo asks. No one, is the reply. Broo is confused. He is some sort of space faring bounty killer, isn’t he? More like an extreme zoologist, is the reply. His name is Professor Xanto Starblood. And he’s here on a mission of science!

Inside Kitty Pryde’s abdomen, Iceman and Warbird try to control Kid Gladiator, who has turned partially Brood. Beast, in the meantime, has reached the Brood egg sac, the source of Kitty’s infection. What about the kid? Iceman shouts annoyed. Hank reminds him he is just one little boy and Iceman is an X-Man. Keep him busy! Kid Gladiator blasts off Iceman’s head.

Kitty awakens. She is surrounded by Bamfs, who teleport away with her.

Elsewhere in the school, Broo announces that he knows Starblood. Head of the intergalactic anthropology department at the university of Rigel-3. Starblood is flattered. Broo reveals he’s read his books. The Interplanetary Guide to Evolutionary Biology. Extinction Imminent: A Study of the Wild Humans of Earth. An Illustrated Guide to the Mating Habits of Dire Wraths.

What did he think? Starblood ask. Perhaps he shouldn’t say, Broo fidgets. Starblood reminds him her has crossed three star systems to kill Broo. One bad review will not make much difference.

Broo remarks that Starblood was always a militant theorist, but not a murderer. Anyone not willing to murder for the sake of science is no scientist at all, comes the reply.

Why him? Broo demands. There is a precise order to the universe, is Starblood’s reply. Humans eat processed garbage. Brood eat the humans. Starsharks eat the Brood. Beings like him eat the starsharks. Galactus eats them all. This order has been meticulously developed over millions of years of gradual universal evolution. To disrupt it in fits and starts is to court disaster. Mass extinction! Chaos of the highest order! Broo would disrupt that order.

The boy is confused. Starblood has heard of him even from across the galaxies. The Brood who doesn’t kill! The Brood who was born with compassion. The cutest little Brood who ever lived! The Brood who would destroy them all with his kindness. Brood are killers, Starblood stresses. Mindless savage beasts! That is their place in the order of all things and there they must remain! He is nothing but an evolutionary mistake! He is sorry but he hopes Broo understands that he is doing this in the name of science…

Planet Sin:
Wolverine is taking out several of the guards. He notices Quentin has remained. Kid Omega doesn’t run! the boy announces. Since when? Logan retorts. Since he read in these cretins’ minds what they were planning on doing to them. Show him! Logan demands and admits that this is gruesome, even by his standard. Nobody does that to him, Quentin insists, not even in their imagination! Logan tells him not to worry. Now that he knows what they are capable of, he won’t feel bad about using his claws. He’s got this.

He orders Quentin to find the nearest exit. That’s an order. He’s sure it is, Quentin replies, but here’s something he’s been wanting to try… Telepaths like Psylocke and Rachel can change psychic energy into the form of a weapon like a sword… well he’s been wondering. He creates and uses a psychic shotgun. “Suck it, alien pinheads!” he shouts and joins the fight.

On Earth, Broo jumps over Starblood’s shoulder and dodges his blows. He infected headmistress Pryde, didn’t he? Broo accuses him. Just to get to him. Starblood agrees. Given her rather tumultuous history with the Brood, he figured it would make the most effective diversion. Pleased with his virus, he intends to write a detailed analysis of it for the Rigellian journal of medicine.

Clinging to the frozen ceiling, Broo announces he is told there is a prophecy that foretells the coming of a race of progressive-minded, sympathetic Brood. Does he believe Broo is the precursor of that race? Starblood replies that Broo is an evolutionary abomination that must not be allowed to sully the sanctity of the universal order!

Suddenly, Kitty surprises them, as she has been teleported there by the Bamfs. Sick him! she orders them and the small creatures attack Starblood. Kitty tries to drag Broo away but doubles over in pain.

Inside her body, Beast burns something, apologizing to Kitty for the sensation. Warbird expresses regrets to Iceman for Kid Gladiator burning off his face but she asks him to nevertheless cease punching the boy. He does not know what he is doing. Not stopping, Iceman retorts he wouldn’t stop, even if he did!

On Planet Sin, Wolverine and Quentin have finished with the guards. Wolverine orders Quentin to get the chips and get out of here.

Security has watched everything. One of them sighs they should have hired more Skrulls. Get the Thing, the other suggests. Does he remember how many fines they had to pay last time they used the Thing? Would he rather just stand there and let the humans walk out with eight quintillion in credits? the other asks. He’ll get the Thing, the first one decides.

On Earth:
The Bamfs jump on Starblood and teleport him outside high in the air. Starblood notes that he has seen and studied Bamfs and they are definitely not Bamfs. They look more to him like... Before he can finish his sentence, he lands very hard in the embrace of a furious Krakoa.

Planet Sin:
On the run, Wolverine admits to Quentin that he did good in there. Maybe there’s hope for him yet. Just don’t tell headmistress Pryde about all the stabbing. Quentin retorts just because Wolverine has shown him the wonder of high-stake gambling he hasn’t changed his mind about burning the stupid school to the ground! Remind him when they get home to call Professor X and apologize, Logan sighs. He just realized how annoying he used to be.

In Kitty’s body, Warbird asks Iceman if he has ever conducted mating rituals with someone while trapped inside the body of another being and surrounded by flesh-eating aliens. Because she has. Now would be a good time for Kid Gladiator to melt his ears off, Iceman wishes.

Kitty is still in pain when Starblood finds them again. He orders Broo not to make him depopulate the entire school.

Planet Sin:
They are being followed. Logan orders Quentin to start the ship.

In Kitty’s body, Hank plants an explosive in the Brood eggsac. Rachel tells everybody to cover their ears. She thinks he is about to blow up Kitty’s uterus!

Kitty stands before Broo, ordering the Danger Room on. Immediately it attacks Starblood. Kitty orders Broo to the panic room. Starblood hits her in the face.

Planet Sin:
As he is about to enter the shuttle a security guard fires a strange weapon at Logan.

On Earth:
Kitty is barely conscious. Starblood remarks they could have handled this in a nice, clean, scientific manner but he had to make things ugly. Fine, let’s get ugly!

Planet Sin:
Wolverine is hit by the weapon’s blast and screams in agony.

Earth:
Kitty vomits all the miniature X-Men out and a furious Broo attacks Starblood, going for the throat, and hurling expletives and even severing one of Starblood’s tentacles. Beast draws Broo back and hugs him, telling him it’s over. Rachel and Lockheed take care of Kitty.

Planet Sin:
The guards have their money back. One of them announces they won’t have any more problems with those Earthlings.

Earth:
Getting out of his berserker rage, Broo asks why he is covered in blood.

Later, SWORD personnel take over everything. Kid Gladiator demands they leave him in his Brood form. He looks unbelievably awesome!

Nice work, Hank, Commander Brand sighs. He’s managed to build himself a ridiculously volatile mutant power keg here. She assumes this was the objective. Their Strontian “prince” should be back to normal before the night is out. Please tell her he isn’t usually this insufferable. They have Pryde stable and her guys are pumping her full of some Centaurian penicillin that will kill off the rest of the Brood in her.

Hank expresses his regret about the SWORD agents who were killed by Starblood. He’s not as sorry as Dr. Starblood is going to be, once she gets him back to her space station, which, last she checked, floats in outer space, an area that has never been covered by the Geneva Conventions. She hopes his little stunt was worth it.

Oh, indeed it was, Starblood smirks. He turns to Broo. The rumors about him would appear to be false. He may be a bit more eloquent than his untamed brethren but underneath he is Brood after all. He chuckles as he is put into the ship.

Iceman asks Kitty how she is feeling. Like a big stupid jerk, she replies. Incredulous, he points out she saved Broo’s life. Kitty replies when she first found out she was carrying an eggsac full of carnivorous Brood instead of a baby, she felt relieved. What does that say about her? Why is she so afraid of growing up? Bobby is at a loss for words. Kitty grabs him and kisses him. Warbird angrily harumphes.

Not far away, Rachel and Paige collect diamonds the size of grapefruit from a tree. Krakoa says he can grow as many as they need, Rachel announces. They should have just told him they were short on cash. Their money woes are officially over! Paige figures everything’s going to be alright after all.

Sitting in a tree, Broo holds on to his bloodstained shirt.

In space, en route to Earth, Logan wakes up and asks what happened. Quentin explains he spaced out. Quentin pulled the flight instructions out of Logan’s mind and also 57 different ways to kill a man which they should totally use to go back to that casino and get their money back. But he figured they better head back home, considering, well, what they did to Wolverine. Don’t worry though; he’s sure it’s not as bad as it looks.

Logan looks at his mangled, clearly broken legs. This isn’t possible! he mutters. Quentin recommends not to move. Now that he is awake, there might be some residual pain that could start to… Logan begins to scream. Right, he’ll just fly a bit faster then, Quentin decides.

Characters Involved: 

Beast, Husk, Iceman, Kitty Pryde, Rachel Grey, Wolverine (all X-Men and faculty members)
Broo, Kid Gladiator, Kid Omega (all students)
Krakoa II
Warbird

Abigail Brand (commander of SWORD)

Professor Xanto Starblood (Unnamed)
Brood
Miniaturized Brood

Agents of SWORD

Casino personnel and guests on Planet Sin

Story Notes: 

The first mention of a prophecy about race of "progressive-minded, sympathetic Brood occured in the X-Men: Brood - Day of Wrath" limited series.

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