Deadpool (2nd series) #64 / Deadpool : Funeral For A Freak #4

Issue Date: 
May 2002
Story Title: 
Funeral For A Freak - part 4 : Deadpoolalooza !
Staff: 

Frank Tieri and Buddy Scalera (writers), Georges Jeanty (penciler), Wong, Vines and Newbold (inkers), Color Dojo (colors), Dave Sharpe (letters), Mike Raicht (assistant editor), Mike Marts (editor), Joe Quesada (editor in chief), Bill Jemas (president)

Brief Description: 

Before even a fight between T-Ray and Team Deadpool can start, killer Deadpool betrays his associates and shoots heroic Deadpool, media Deadpool, maniac Deadpool and finally the real Deadpool, who is still talking despite having a huge hole in his chest. T-Ray and killer Deadpool carry the bodies away, to a strange grave surrounded by stoneblocks. The tombstone says “Deadpool – Cursed With Life“, before displaying images of important stages in his life. T-Ray finally reveals that the other four Deadpools are embodyments of different personality traits of him, and he demostrates it by using a device called the Gemini Star to extract another one, this time a nerd version of Deadpool. Deadpool and T-Ray’s employer are in love with the same woman, and the plan is too drain Deadpool of all personality so that he is no longer interesting. Deadpool can’t beleive that there is nothing else to him other than four guys and a nerd, so he uses the Gemini Star himself and a feminine Deadpool, his inner child and the unrespected Deadpool appear.
Salvation arrives in the form of Weasel, Deadpool’s homeless friends and an army of grammar school kids, the only people with weapons they could assemble fast. In the confusion T-Ray wrests the device back from Deapool, but it gets damaged, and all eight additional Deadpools get sucked into T-Ray who then collapses. Later Weasel and Deadpool are hanging out together, they meet the homeless bums again, who have all decided to get new lives. Duke wants to run for mayor with Scuzzy being his spokesperson, and Popeye spends a romantic week with T-Ray, who is kind of apathic, and is now a cross of the nerd, the unrespected and the maniac Deadpool. Elsewhere Thanos is bickering, he does not tolerate that Death the woman he loves is in love with Deadpool, and to ensure that they never meet again, he has cursed Deadpool so that he can never die.

Full Summary: 

Deadpool sums up the last issues : he was dead and buried, but found himself miraculously resurrected. While amnesiac he befriended Scuzzy, Popeye and Duke, three homeless people, and when they accidentally ran into Weasel, he helped Deadpool restore his memory. In the time he was missing four other Deadpool’s have appeared and they just decided to form a team as T-Ray burst into the meeting.
The heroic Deadpool yearns for the fight, but the real Deadpool first teases T-Ray with some lame jokes.Heroic Deadpool goes in between them, telling them to behave, but T-Ray commands “Get rid of him.“ And he gets shot in the back. All turn around to see the killer Deadpool with the still smoking gun, and while media Deadpool asks why he is doing this, after all they are on the same team, he gets shot too. Next up is the maniac Deadpool, and killer Deadpool answers his usual question with “Nope. No pickles.“ before blasting him also. The real Deadpool gets mad, not that he ever wanted to be on a team, yet these were his teammates and killer Deadpool is a traitor. He fires his gun, but the bullets bounce of killer Deadpool, who in turn blows a huge hole in the real Deadpool’s chest with his blaster. As he collapses, Deadpool asks what kind of weapon that is and where he can get one too. Killer Deadpool wants to know that too and turns to his boss T-Ray, but he dismisses the question. They pick up the four Deadpool bodies and leave.
Weasel and the homeless people have watched the entire scene from a their hiding place. They wonder how to save their friend, and naturally Scuzzy vomits once more. They agree that they have to get some weapons and Weasel knows who will definately have some guns – grammar school kids. Weasel stops a school bus and enter the bus, but immediately the kids pull all kinds of weapons,as the adults are invading their turf.
Meanwhile T-Ray and Killer Deadpool are walking up a hill with the bodies they are carrying. The real Deapool is hanging over T-Ray’s shoulder, having to look at T-Ray’s ass as he is walking. Deadpool complains about the bad view, and makes his usual jokes, and is somewhat annoyed that he can’t see where they are headed. Finally they arrive at their destination, it’s a grave surrounded by stone sculptures kind of looking like Stonehenge. The gravestone reads “Deadpool – Cursed With Life“. As Deadpool is placed on the grave, he laughs about the typo, as he believes it should have to be “Cursed For Life“. T-Ray orders him to be quiet and the tombstone starts to glow.
Deadpool sees images of his life in the tombstone, him and Siryn embracing, him and Death embracing, his teammates of Team Deadpool, himself undergoing changes at the Weapon X Project and him fighting T-Ray. Deadpool demands to know what the show is for if T-Ray is going to kill him anyway, but T-Ray says that it is part of his job. He then shows him a device called Gemini Star, which his boss gave him to resurrect Deadpool. Then he uses it again and an energy blast hits Deadpoool’s chest. A hand reaches out and becomes a full figure, a nerd with glasses. Deadpool asks who that is, and T-Ray explains that he is part of him, like those other Deadpools before too. In fact Deadpool and his boss are in love with the same woman, and his boss has decided to extinguish each aspect of Deadpool’s personality until there is only a boring shell left and the woman will no longer be intrested in him. Deadpool grabs the gemini star and convinced that there is more to him than four guys and a nerd, he uses it again. Out of his chest emerges a beautiful woman, his feminine side, next up is a baby, apparently representing his inner child and finally a guy wearing a tux, saying that he gets no respect. Deadpool says he’d like to trade in the later two for some more chicks.
Right then Weasel and the homeless people arrive, backed up by an army of grammar school kids with knifes and guns. One of the kids points his weapon at T-Ray, demanding the Gameboys that Weasel told them T-Ray was giving away for free. Deadpool thanks his friends for coming to the rescue and totally forgets about the device in his hand. T-Ray takes advantage of the situation and reaches for it, yet as he rips it out of Deadpool’s hand the Gemini Star gets damaged. Too late T-Ray realizes that with the Star broken, it’s effects will be reversed. The essences of all eight personality aspect Deadpools gets sucked through the device into T-Ray’s chest, and he collapses, hitting his head on the tombstone. Deadpool comments that the personalities going into T-Ray proves that he and not T-Ray actually is the real Wade Wilson, he then observes as the Gemini Star melts away. Seems that everything is alright, or is it ? The kids still want their gameboys !
Somewhat later, Deadpool and Weasel are on a bridge devoting time to one of their favourite games – spitting on the people below. Weasel is concerned that somebody powerful enough to create a Gemini Star was after Deadpool, but Deadpool corrects him – he might still be after him, only Deadpool doesn’t care that much. Duke and Scuzzy, meet them, they are clean and wear nice clothes. Duke says that he is now running for mayor, as Scuzzy once more has to vomit over the bridge, hitting somebody below. Weasel and Deadpool agree that this makes him the winner of their game. Then Popeye comes over, in her company T-Ray, or what’s left of him. He looks rather apathic, is wearing nerd Deadpool’s shirt and the tux of the unrespected Deadpool. He only says “No Pickles“, as Popeye pulls him away to spend a romantic week with him in the Cross Box Motor Inn. Weasel and Deadpool agree that this is a worse fate than death. Duke and Scuzzy have to leave too, as they have a meeting, Scuzzy will be Duke’s spokesman and he once more vomits in Deadpool’s face. Deadpool smiles as they leave, sayin he would actually vote for them and he probably will miss the three bums. Weasel though still wonders who T-Ray’s mysterious boss is.
Far away in outer space, Thanos is prying on them He doesn’t like Deadpool, especially since Death, the woman he loves, seems to care for him. Thanos places a black rose at a shrine he built for Death, before stating that he ensured that Deadpool and Death will never meet again. Deadpool will never die, and soon he will find that this is a far worse fate than death, from now on Deadpool is “cursed with life“.

Characters Involved: 

Deadpool

Weasel

heroic Deadpool

killer Deadpool

media Deadpool

maniac Deadpool

nerd Deadpool

feminine Deadpool

inner child Deadpool

unrespected Deadpool

Duke, Popeye, Scuzzy (all homeless people)

T-Ray

Thanos

Story Notes: 

For quite some time, Deadpool real name was belived to be Jack, with he himself thinking to be Wade T. Wilson for years. The story was that after escaping from a mental asylum, Jack was helped by a young couple, the Wilsons. Jack killed the woman (Mercedes) and took on her husband’s identity, believing him dead too, though he wasn’t. So Deadpool / Jack only claimed the Wilson name later on. The falsely supposed realy Wade became T-Ray who had himself magically transformed to get his revenge.

Issue Information: 
Written By: