Harry’s Hideaway, Salem Center, where Wolverine a.k.a. Logan smiles and raises his beer, announcing that it isn’t often these days that they get together like this, usually only when some jackass is about to blow up the planet, or when one of their own has just died - but thankfully, tonight isn’t about either of those. ‘Tonight… is for Kurt. So here’s to you, Elf. I think I speak for every X-Man there is when I say… welcome back to the land of the living. WELCOME HOME!’ Wolverine shouts, and inside the tavern other X-Men from the Jean Grey School such as Storm, Firestar, Iceman, Northstar, the Beast and Jubilee, as well as some of their teammates who are no longer working with them such as Moonstar, Havok, Captain Britain and Meggan, raise their glasses in unison. ‘Now please, whatever you do… no more dying, okay, Kurt? Kurt?’ Wolverine jokes when Kurt doesn’t respond. Wolverine turns to the chair where Kurt was sitting, ’Where the hell is that damn Elf?’ Logan wonders.
At the moment, Kurt “Nightcrawler” Wagner frowns and sits on a rooftop of a building nearby, and watches as a SHIELD transport vehicle drives past. ’This is SHIELD transport zeta. Checking in at mile 32’ a SHIELD agent driving the vehicle radios in to command base, reporting that the power dampeners are working just fine and that there is no trouble here. ‘Not so much as a peep from the prisoner’ he adds, stating that they should be at Rykers Island in forty-eight minutes.
In the back of the transport, Azazel sits with his wrists clamped, and the dampener around his neck. Nightcrawler thinks to himself that one of the great tragedies of life is that they don’t get to choose their family - they are stuck with whatever they are born into - until they day they die. He teleports away, while some little red Bamfs are perched nearby.
Kurt teleports back into his seat at Harry’s Hideaway, and decides that, luckily he was born to be an X-Man. ‘Hey, here he is!’ Iceman exclaims. As the night continues, the drinks flow, and Kurt tells himself that these are his brothers and sisters because the mutant gene they have in common, because of the “Father” they shared in Charles Xavier. But other than that, they come from all over the world, from all walks of life.
The Beast throws his arm around Kurt, and they both smile. Kurt knows that some of them have nothing in common except for the fact that they are all different, all so amazingly uncanny. Nightcrawler, Rachel Grey, Captain Britain and Meggan, four of the founding members of the original Excalibur team get together and smile. Kurt knows that like all families, they have their ups and downs - their fallouts. And suddenly: ‘Oh, hell’ Wolverine snarls. Doop and the alien Warbird frown, and Jubilee looks ledisappointed when suddenly, the “black sheep”, as Kurt calls them, enter - Cyclops, Kitty Pryde, Emma Frost and Magik.
Cyclops, Emma and Magik look as smug and confident as ever, while Kitty looks somewhat embarrassed, possibly ashamed. Kitty stands between Logan and the others and tells him that before he goes popping any claws he should know that they didn’t come here to fight. ‘You know whosays that, Kitty? People who know they just walked into a fight. Get out’ Wolverine declares, but Kurt tells him to wait, and rushes over, while Storm stands nearby. Logan reminds Kurt that he has been gone a while, and that there is a lot he missed, a lot he doesn’t know - and most of it involves Cyclops. ‘I know about this, Logan…I was with Charles Xavier after he died. After you killed him, Scott’ Kurt tells Cyclops, standing before him. ‘Kurt, I didn’t -’ Cyclops begins. ‘Not now. Let’s not do that now’ Kurt tells him, suggesting that tonight, they just try and be what Charles always wanted them to be. ‘Tonight let’s pretend we’re still a family’. Cyclops smiles and he and Kurt hug. Kitty looks happy, and even Emma cracks a smile.
‘We don’t get to choose our family, and they don’t get to choose us’ Kurt thinks to himself as he and Kitty embrace, while Wolverine frowns and Cyclops and tells him that he hope he brought a credit card. ‘You ain’t drinking on my tab’.
A waitress moves through the mutants, as Kurt chats to Rachel and Magik, while Moonstar, Karma and Sunspot reunite, and Jubilee speaks with Cyclops. Firestar and Northstar stand together, while Angel approaches Emma. Kurt thinks that sometimes you can’t even choose to leave them behind, as they follow wherever we go - a part of them, even if they don’t know it is there. ‘Sometimes there’s just no escaping them’ he realizes, and he looks over at the waitress, who smiles as she enters a door marked “staff only”.
The waitress looks horrified as Kurt suddenly teleports in front of her, ‘Hello, mother’ he greets her. ‘Heh. How did you know? Not even Logan can tell it’s me anymore’ Raven Darkholme a.k.a. Mystique smiles as she shifts back to her default blue-skinned form. ‘Lucky guess. I knew you’d be here, Mystique. And you make a terrible waitress’ Kurt replies.
Raven reaches for the gun strapped to her leg and explains that at first she thought it must have been some sort of trick to lure her out. ‘But it’s really you, isn’t it? My God, Kurt’. Kurt doesn’t look impressed and asks ‘You have a god now? Things have changed since I died’. Mystique tells her son not to be cruel, as that isn’t like him. ‘No, it’s like you. So now you’ve seen me. It’s time for you to go’ Kurt replies. Raven asks her son if it is true that he saw his father again. ‘Oh, Heavens’ Kurt mutters, before grabbing Mystique and teleporting out into the alley behind Harry’s.
Nightcrawler tells Mystique that he doesn’t want this night to turn into a brawl, and he doesn’t like arresting his own mother at his welcome home party. ‘Go. Before I come to my senses’ he instructs her. ‘You’ve changed’ Mystique replies. ‘And you clearly haven’t’ Kurt points out. ‘No. You’ve lost something, haven’t you?’ Raven asks. Kurt frowns and points at Raven, reminding her that he died and came back to life, and you don’t do that without picking up a few scars. ‘Go’ he instructs her once again. The staff only door opens and Wolverine calls out ‘Kurt? Where the hell’d you get to now? I just ordered shots. C’mon, stop hitting on the waitress’. Kurt can hear Wolverine, and tells Mystique that if she ever cared for him at all, then she should go now.
‘You want me to go? Then tell me the truth. Is your father Azazel here on Earth?’ Mystique enquires, gritting her teeth. ‘Yes’ Kurt confirms. ‘Where?’ Mystique asks. Kurt tells her that Azazel is somewhere where he won’t bother anyone. ‘There is no such place’ Mystique points out.
‘Kurt, you out here?’ Wolverine asks as he opens the door to the alleyway, just as Kurt teleports himself and Mystique to a parking lot. ‘Make me bamf again and you’ll find yourself in a cell at Rykers!’ Kurt warns Mystique. Raven pulls her gun and aims it at Kurt: ‘Rykers Island, so that’s where they’re hiding him. Thank you, Kurt. You’ve been most helpful’ she smiles.
Mystique congratulates Kurt on coming back from the dead, and suggests they keep him alive a bit longer. ‘Keep your tail where I can see it and step away’ Mystique instructs her son. ‘You won’t shoot me, mother. I know that’ Kurt replies. ‘Shoot you? Never, darling. Shoot at you in order to get to your father? Hmmm…’ she smirks, before pulling the trigger, as Kurt teleports away.
Mystique gets on a motorcycle that is parked nearby and speeds away, while Kurt teleports in quick bursts, following her. ‘What the Hell? Was that my motorcycle?’ Wolverine asks as he steps out the front of Harry’s Hideaway, just as Kurt teleports down beside him. ‘We have to go. Bring everyone’ Kurt tells Logan, who asks ‘What? Where?’ ‘Into town. Look for a SHIELD transport truck. Just follow the sound of gunfire and bamfs’ Kurt tells Logan.
Logan asks Kurt what is happening, to which Kurt replies that it is the worst thing possible - his family reunion. He then teleports away, as Wolverine mutters ‘Ah, hell’.
Kurt bamfs onto the SHIELD transport, where the little red Bamfs are scampering over it. Inside, one of the agents screams, ‘Oh my God’ when one of the red Bamfs teleports him out high over the road and drops him. ‘I’ve got you!’ Kurt assures the agent as he teleports up and grabs him, ‘Did he escape? Is Azazel free?’ Kurt asks. ‘No!’ the agent replies, explaining that he is still wearing the power dampeners. ‘Oh, God. I was driving’ the agent suddenly realizes - just before the transport vehicle crashes into a car parked on the side of the road. The transport flips over, and Azazel announces that his children have come for him. ‘You cannot hope to stop them all. You should take your own life while you still have the chance. I promise you, I will not be so merciful’ Azazel calls out to the agent in the passenger seat, who screams, blood trickling from a wound on his head, and the Bamfs grinning at him wickedly.
One of the Bamfs goes into the back of the transport and teleports Azazel out. They appear on the top of the upside down vehicle. ‘I warned him’ Azazel remarks, as the agent can be heard screaming down below. Kurt appears above his father, ‘No! What have you done now?’ he calls out as the little Bamfs remove Azazel’s restraints. ‘Ah, look. All my children have come. How lovely’ Azazel grins. Grabbing Kurt, he slams him into the transport vehicle, ‘Though I don’t see why you had to bring her’ he snarls.
Mystique drives straight towards Azazel, firing her guns, she drives over the vehicle, as Azazel and Nightcrawler teleport out of her way, and land on the motorcycle as it drops onto the road. ‘I’m afraid you’re a bit late for a conjugal visit, dear’ Azazel remarks. ‘Die, you miserable bastard!’ Mystique exclaims as she tries to reach back and shoot Azazel, who grabs her wrists. ‘Raven, please - not in front of the boy’ Azazel jokes, while Kurt shouts ‘Look out!’ as the motorcycle suddenly crashes into a parked car, sending Mystique careening forward.
She lands on the ground, guns still ready, she aims one each side of her as Azazel and Nightcrawler materialize after teleporting. ‘Look at us. One big happy family’ Azazel jokes. ‘Go to hell’ Mystique snaps. ‘I was trying to, dear, before our son here dragged me back to Earth’ Azazel points out, holding a large pirate sword in one hand.
‘This is over! You’re both going to jail’ Nightcrawler exclaims. ‘Don’t raise your voice to your parents, Kurt’ Mystique scowls. ‘Finally, something we can agree on, Raven dear’ Azazel grins. Kurt roars and lunges forward, wide-eyed and jaw-dropped, he tries to reach his parents.
‘Kurt?’ a voice calls out. Kurt sits up and rubs his head, ‘Logan, did you catch them? Did you…’ his voice trails off, as Kurt looks around and sees no sign of Mystique or Azazel, just the X-Men and his other friends, while paramedics load one of the SHIELD agents into their ambulance.
‘It would see I am a free man again. Shall we celebrate the way we once did?’ Azazel asks as he teleports himself and Mystique into a forest. ‘How about I put a bullet through your rancid little brain?’ Mystique suggests. ‘You used to be so much more fun, Raven’ Azazel recalls. ‘And you used to rule your own dimension. How things change’ Mystique points out. ‘Have you come here to gloat? That’s unbecoming’ Azazel tells her. ‘No… I came here to kill you’ Mystique announces, pointing her weapon at Azazel’s face. ‘Funny, you don’t seem to be doing so. Perhaps you came here… for another reason?’ Azazel suggests, smirking. Mystique looks a little uncertain, before pulling her gun back and asking Azazel how he would like a job. ‘Ah… now you’re talking, my love’ Azazel grins.
Meanwhile, the sun is starting to rise. ‘C’mon, fellas, last call was hours ago… some of us gotta work in the morning’ the man behind the bar back at the tavern points out, adding that he still has no idea what they did to his waitress. ‘Just put it on my tab, Harry’ Wolverine replies as he and Kurt sit at the bar, empty glasses in front of them. ‘One of the great tragedies of life… is that we don’t get to choose our family’ Nightcrawler laments. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Course you get to choose. And believe me, you chose well, Kurt’ Wolverine smiles. ‘Really? Those last three beers don’t seem like such a good choice right about now…’ Kurt replies as he struggles to get off the bar stool. ‘Ah, don’t tell me dying made you all soft. Get up and bamf it off. Otherwise, we got a long walk back to Graymalkin lane’ Logan smiles. They stumble out the front door, sun shining down.
Kurt thanks Logan for everything. ‘I loved this. I really did. I love being an X-Man. On days like today most of all’. They have their arms around each other as they help each other to walk down the street, ‘Believe it or not…I ev en love you, Wolverine’ Nightcrawler admits, while Logan tells the “Elf”, as he calls him, that he must be drunk, but that he loves him too, and suggests they get home.
